


American Beauty - American Psycho

by rubyrox24



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Gay Lena Luthor, F/F, First Time, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Oblivious Alex Danvers, Past Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Past Child Abuse, Past Self-Hatred, Psychological Torture, Rockstar Alex Danvers, Superfan Lena Luthor, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 87,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubyrox24/pseuds/rubyrox24
Summary: “Lena has your Guitar hanging in her office!” All Kara can hear is the phone being dropped followed by what sounds like swearing and coughing mixed together. “Alex?!”orAlex Danvers used to be a Rockstar. Lena is a fan but doesn't know its Alex.orLena redorcorates and it causes both Danvers' sisters to choke.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I had stuck in my head, even though I have a bunch of WIP stories that I need to finish. I've never done an Agentcorp story, so be gentle! Would love to hear if anyone likes it or has ideas moving forward.

“Lena Luthor if you don’t stop working soon I will have to forcibly remove you from your office. And I will don’t tempt me.”

Lena quirks her eyebrow from behind her computer when Kara strolls into her office, arms filled with take out. A quick glance at the time and she finds out how long she really has been working. Almost 4 PM and she hasn’t eaten since this morning.

Kara starts unpacking the Chinese take out, grabbing waters from the fridge, and basically making herself at home in Lena’s office. Lena continues typing behind her desk, a look of frenzied focus.

“You know I will come over there.” Kara threatens with a sing song voice.

“I know! Just give me one more minute.” A ping sounds from the computer followed by frantic typing, “Ah shoot. I just need to run down to Sam’s Office.” Lena walks out the door yelling, “five minutes and I’ll take a break!”

Kara sighs watching her go. Cracking the seal of the water she takes a sip longingly looking at her food. She decides the best way to distract herself is to look everywhere but the food. “Its like its not even there” she says to herself. As she works on her distraction skills, it hits her that Lena has somewhat redecorated. A favorite painting of both Lena’s and Kara’s is now hanging above the bar. It's a beautiful piece, reminiscent of the sun shimmering early in the morning, and one that serves to calm Lena’s frantic mind. Kara knows for a fact that Lena loves to stare at it.

“Odd,” Kara said with a slight frown on her face. She stands up to look behind her at what could have replaced the painting. As she turns she lifts her water to take a sip. The water barely makes it down her throat before she promptly chokes on it. Unfortunately for Kara the sip of water would only be her first mistake tonight.

Above where she was just sitting and hanging proudly from Lena’s wall is a black and white Gibson Melody Maker. It takes Kara a full 30 seconds to stop choking enough to really take in the guitar. It’s in spectacular condition, excluding the large Ramones sticker on the body of it and what seems to be damage on the back.

“Oh rao…” scrambling to grab her phone, nearly crushing it in the process, she carefully dials Alex.

“Kara? I thought you were having dinner with Lena?” Alex asks confused.

“I am having dinner with Lena, she’s talking to Sam in her office.” Alex can hear the urgency in her voice, but she hasn’t said anything about an emergency so she doesn’t panic. She waves away Vasquez’s question about a Super Emergency, and instead gets back to her work and more importantly her coffee.

“Okay? Then what’s up?”

Kara hesitates, “I don’t know how to start. Well I guess it doesn’t really matter how I start, I just thought you would want to know,” Kara continues to ramble while Alex continues looking at her work and sipping at her coffee. Finally Kara decides to end her own ramble and just blurts it out.

“Lena has your Guitar hanging in her office!” All Kara can hear is the phone being dropped followed by what sounds like swearing and coughing mixed together. “Alex?!” Kara yells into the phone while simultaneously wincing at being the cause of the choking.

“Hey Kara” A calm voice comes over Alex’s phone.

“Hey Vasquez” Kara responds.

“So Agent Danvers seems to still be choking on thin air, but she’ll be fine.”

“Thanks Vasquez.”

“No problem Kara. Oh, it looks like she’s done choking and is now muttering curse words while looking for the phone.” Kara can hear the slight humor in the otherwise calm agent’s voice. “I better give it back now before she loses it and starts throwing things.” Kara can hear shuffling, swearing, and still a tad bit of coughing.

“I’ll be there in fifteen.” Is all Alex says before promptly hanging up the phone. Kara just sighs and sits back down.

“That may have been a bad idea” Kara mumbles to herself, sitting down resigned to whatever is about to happen.

***

By the time Lena comes back in Kara has nervously eaten over half of the food. She just raises her eyebrow with a smirk of amusement on her face.

“Swoorryy” Kara mumbles with a mouth full of food, which she promptly swallows. “I left you your kale salad.”

That prompts another eyebrow raise off Lena, “of course you did Kara because you would rather starve to death than eat Kale.” Kara blushes a pretty shade of pink and stuffs more food in her mouth, which causes Lena to chuckle at her.

“So what has you eating food like you’ve been starved for days?” Lena asks, “I don’t think I missed an alien invasion? Although I was so caught up I could have.” Kara starts to stumble over both food and words in her mouth. She nearly chokes again when she attempts to eat, breathe, and talk all at once.

With narrowed and appraising eyes Lena takes her in, “you’re nervous.” That stops Kara in her tracks and answers her question. However, the question of why still eludes Lena.

“Well you see…” Kara starts to stumble out just as Alex bursts through the door startling them both.

“Agent Danvers! Agent I told you, you couldn’t go in there right now!” Lena’s assistant yells from just outside the door, quickly running after Alex.

“It's fine Jess” Lena says calmly while stepping over and behind her desk where Alex had stopped in front of. Lena sets her hands on her desk in a defensive posture. Looking over Alex’s shoulder she sees Kara staring intently at the ground. ' _Must be what she was trying to warn me of. Great, what happened now_ '

“What can I do for you Alex? ... Alex?” Lena’s confusion and dread continues to grow as Alex promptly ignores her and begins scanning her office. A quick glance to Kara finds her still staring at the ground like she’s hoping and waiting for it to swallow her whole.

It’s the hitch in Alex’s breath that draws Lena’s attention back to her. Alex’s eyes seem to be fixated on one point in Lena’s office, and her legs soon follow. Alex heads straight for the guitar and this causes Kara to finally look up.

“Alex…” Kara reaches out for her, but is quickly batted away. Alex jumps up on the couch ignoring the spluttering from Lena behind her. She reaches out but stops just short of touching the guitar. With her hand floating above it, she stops freezing. Behind her Kara is stopping Lena from getting closer to her and both are watching intently to see what her next move will be.

Alex puts just her fingertips on it, a feather like touch. She pauses again for just a heartbeat, then rips the guitar off the wall. The mounting bracket comes off the wall with a loud bang falling on Lena’s floor, as Alex jumps off the couch.

“Alex!” Lena yells pushing past Kara’s arm; the latter just stands there startled by the whole scene. “Be careful with that! It's a …”

“Gibson Melody Maker” Alex says with a uncertain emotion clouding her voice.

“Well yes. How…”

“Played by American Psycho. It has a Ramones sticker on the front and a scorch mark...” Alex careless flips the guitar over and looks down to a large burn in the bottom right of the guitar. Next to it are the initials KZD. Pain flutters across Alex’s face before she squashes it down. Looking up she briefly catches Kara’s concerned blue eyes.

Lena getting more and more confused and irritated hedges a guess, “I take it you are a fan?”

Alex scoffs a humourless laugh, takes one more look at the guitar and drops it onto the couch. Without another word, ignoring Kara’s calls to her, Alex walks out of the office slamming the door. Kara just sighs and turns to see Lena’s expectant gaze. After a few moments of silence Lena scoffs.

“You aren’t really expecting me to just let that whole scene go? Especially when you couldn’t even warn me that was going to happen.”

Kara sighs, “No, but....” Lena just raises an eyebrow, “look Lena I want to tell you what that was about, but I can’t. I also didn’t know that any of that was going to happen.”

“You promised me no more secrets and lies Kara.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Not after lying to me for months.”

Kara quickly walks over to Lena and starts to frantically gesture with her hands.

“I know Lena, but this isn’t my secret to tell.” Kara pleads with her. “I know you are still upset about the Supergirl secret, but I promise you this isn’t anything about me. This is all Alex.” They stare at each other in silence, Kara pleading for Lena to understand. After staring for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes, Lena finally sighs.

“Fine, but you are fixing my wall. Now I need to finish working, so I can leave sometime before Midnight.” Lena just walks back to her desk, leaving Kara with the mess to clean.

Kara looks behind her. The mounting bracket is still laying on the floor, the guitar is haphazardly thrown on the couch, and there is a small hole in the wall. She sighs and starts to pick up the broken pieces of the bracket. She works in silence for a while before her curiosity gets the better of her.

“Lena?” She tentatively calls out.

“Hmmm…” Acknowledging Kara but continuing to work.

Kara stares down at the guitar. Running her hands over the front before she flips it carefully in her hands. The bottom right has the scorch mark. Evidence of a memory that makes Kara smile.

“Why do you have this guitar?” Lena stops typing and looks up at the question. Many emotions flit across her face before she decides on muted happiness.

“Do you know who that guitar belonged to?” At Kara’s nod she continues. “American Psycho was a musician that helped define a generation. Punk rock, pop, alternative. Her fans were a mix of all the misfits the world didn’t want. Growing up…” Lena takes a deep breath and looks into Kara’s clear blue eyes, “I wasn’t wanted, and I knew that. But with American Psycho, it made me feel less alone. I could be who I longed to be and I was accepted among her people.”

Lena pauses, looking down at the pages in front of her, while Kara simultaneously looks down at the guitar in her hands. The moment too heavy for both of them. With the utmost care she turns around and places the guitar back in its spot on the wall. She hears Lena start to speak from behind her, but can’t push herself to turn back.

“That guitar reminds me to be that person I want to be, not the person everyone else wants me to be.”

Kara turns to find Lena looking at her with an unreadable but serious expression on her face. With nothing left to say Kara picks up her bag wishing Lena good night. When she reaches the door, she pauses and looks back to see Lena staring at the guitar.

“You should talk to Alex.” Lena nods once never taking her eyes of the guitar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to anyone who knows which female Rockstar played that guitar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash Back: Lena's First Concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't even believe the response. Thank you! I hope you like this flash back chapter.

**2010**

**Metropolis Stadium**

**American Psycho Sold Out Show**

 

***

“Lena would you hurry! I don’t want to be late!” Sam called down the hall of the hotel suite she begrudgingly let Lena pay for. Following the flow of her words, Sam quickly makes her way to Lena’s room at the end of the hall. She lets out an exasperated sigh when she walks in. Instead of being ready to go, Lena is only about half dressed. Her black hair flows past her shoulders over top of her black bralette, which happens to be the only thing on her torso. She’s also got on high waisted and very smooth leather pants that flare at the end just slightly. Sam can see when she turns to her that at least her makeup is done. _A small miracle,_ Sam muses to herself.

 

“You look fantastic Sam” Lena says gesturing to Sam’s black pants and matching crop top, with a ripped up jean jacket to complete the look. “Let me just throw on my shirt and we can go.” Lena turns back to grab her loose red shirt.

 

“Oh you mean you’re not going wearing just pants and a bra. Why? In this crowd you would have fit right in Lena.” Sam comments with a laugh. Lena just gives her an unimpressed look and throws the shirt over her head. When it's finally on it sags off one shoulder exposing the lace underneath.

 

“I know I may look and act over 18, but I’m not. So a top seemed appropriate.” Sam hums in agreement. With one last spritz of perfume Lena declared herself to be ready. The two of them made their way down to the lobby and into the car Lena had requested. The venue was only a block or two, but this way they wouldn’t get swept up in the crowd.

 

Once the car started to move so did Lena. Her hands were fidgeting in her lap until Sam rested one of hers on top of them. Giving her a soft look she asked Lena,

 

“Nervous for your first concert?”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry, and don’t worry we will have a great time!” Sam’s smile helped to calm Lena’s nerves, if only slightly. “Trust me I’ve seen her perform before, she’s fantastic and you will love it.” Lena just nods and soon the car is slowing to a stop.

 

Sam opens the door quickly and steps out waiting for Lena. Whatever Lena had been expecting upon exiting the car, it didn’t match what she saw. Everybody around her was entirely unique yet seemed to seamlessly fit together. To her left was a man in head to toe shiny red leather. The woman next to him was wearing ripped jeans and a leather corset. A few yards behind them were a group of girls wearing all black, but each had a different colored mask that made up a rainbow. To her other side she saw two very well built men wearing leather pants and spiked shoulder pads strapped together with belts. There were many dressed similarly to how she and Sam were dressed, but the normal and abnormal seemed to blend perfectly together.

 

Lena looks over to Sam, the former with her mouth on the ground and the latter just smiling.

 

“You weren’t kidding about fitting right in.” Lena says as she sees a girl go by with leather booty shorts and a leather bralette to match. Sam just chuckles and grabs onto Lena’s arm to pull her into the sea of people.

 

Lena is still whipping her head back and forth to catch everybody’s outfits. There are many who have stopped to take photos with each other. Lena is focused on looking at a particularly convoluted outfit when she feels Sam pull her arm and drag her out of the flow of people. She finds herself over by the men she saw earlier with the spiked shoulder pads. With a questioning look to Sam she is pulled in between them and told to smile while Sam snaps a photo. With a quick thanks they are back in the flow of traffic. Lena just raises an eyebrow at her friend.

 

“It’s tradition Lena.” Lena just lowly chuckles and soon they are at the entrance. Security goes fairly fast and they can hear the warm up band playing. They make their way to their seats on the floor level; row 4. Close enough to see the sweat coming off the warm up bands lead singer. They were just in time to catch the last part of their set. The singer was running around on stage in shiny, sequin gold pants with matching high heels, and a long, ripped up white shirt.

 

 **“** **I got a diamond in my pocket and a gun in my purse**

**Scream "Semi Precious Weapons" or ya might get hurt!**

**Tell me something I don't know**

**Tell me something I don't know**

**C'mon, tell me something I don't know**

**Tell me something I don't know**

**I can't pay my rent but I'm fucking gorgeous!”**

 

The crowd cheered for them as they said goodnight. The energy was just barely contained around them as everyone was ready for the main act to appear. While the set was being changed around Sam decided to go and got them a couple drinks. Lena continued to look around her, and wondered who these people were. Were they “normal” in their daily lives, or is this who they always were. Unapologetically different, unapologetically beautiful. Lena can feel a longing pull deep inside for that sort of freedom.

 

Sam hadn’t made it back yet by the time the lights went down in the arena. The crowd erupted into deafening cheers and everyone around Lena was jumping around like crazy people. She wasn’t quite sure what to do, but decided to just flow with those around her and hope Sam got back soon. She could see the background band moving into place and still no sight of Sam or American Psycho. Just as Lena was starting to get nervous she saw Sam’s smiling face with a tray of drinks.

 

“I was worried you wouldn’t make it in time!” Lena screams over the deafening cheers. Sam just smiles at her and hands over the drink. The cheers went on for a solid 10 minutes before there was any sight of American Psycho. As soon as she came on though, the cheers from those lucky enough to see her in the dark could have knocked the roof right off the building.

 

The first heavy rock notes pierce the blackness. The crowd going mental over the song. Then the first words break through the cheers and a spotlight breaks through the darkness illuminating one figure.The light shining off the guitar.

 

**“I think I got too many memories getting in the way of me**

**I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee**

**And I'm stuck, night-vision**

**So stuck night-vision**

**But I come to life, come to life**

 

**Some princes don't become kings**

**Even at the best times I'm out of my mind**

**You only get what you grieve**

**Are you smelling that shit?**

**Are you smelling that shit?”**

 

In unison with each other and American Psycho the entire crowd screams:

 

**“Eau de résistance!!”**

 

At that same moment the entire stage lights up and Lena can see fire shooting out of different areas. She continues the song and by the end both her and Sam are breathless, but smiling wide at each other.

“I told you she’s fantastic!” Sam yells into Lena’s ear. Both will be deaf tomorrow, but they don’t really care.

The stage is still lit giving Lena her first live view of American Psycho. She is wearing the tightest leather pants Lena has ever seen, just barely high enough to be decent. A plain black tank top covers her torso under a studded leather jacket. What is most unique about her is the mask she is never seen without. Its black leather with chains and studs across its entirety. It covers her eyes and the right bottom of her face. The straps are tucked into her slick backed copper hair; blood red lipstick finishing the look.

“Hello!” American Psycho yells into the mic. The crowd cheers. “It's great to be in…” She sucks in much needed air before continuing, “this great city! I wanna hear all you psychos scream.” The crowd did promptly that as she started her next song with the rock guitar leading the way.

 

**“I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation**

**You're living in the past it's a new generation**

**A girl can do what she wants to do and that's**

**What I'm gonna do**

**An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation**

**Oh no not me**

 

**An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation**

**Never said I wanted to improve my station**

**An' I'm only doin' good**

**When I'm havin' fun**

**An' I don't have to please no one**

**An' I don't give a damn**

**'Bout my bad reputation**

**Oh no, not me**

**Oh no, not me”**

 

When the song ends Lena realizes this is easily become the best night of her life. Her and Sam have been jumping up and down like crazed people. American Psycho then hands her guitar off with a slight stagger to her step; strips down to just her tank top, and grabs the mic of the stand. The crowd can sense the mood shifting and are anticipating what the next song will be.The first quite notes start and a hush goes across the crowd.

 

**“Found you when your heart was broke**

**I filled your cup until it overflowed**

**Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)**

**I was afraid to leave you on your own**

 

**I said I'd catch you if you fall**

**And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (All)**

**And then I got you off your knees**

**Put you right back on your feet**

**Just so you can take advantage of me”**

 

Lena remembers hearing the rumors when this song had come out. There is almost nothing known about American Psycho. Not even her real name; most just call her AP. The only thing known was that she was in her 20s, gay, and now heartbroken. If her lyrics were anything to go by the woman who left her had clearly left a huge hole in her heart.

 

**“You don't have to say just what you did**

**I already know (I know)**

**I had to go and find out from them**

**So tell me how's it feel (oh-woah)**

 

**Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there**

**Feeling so high but too far away to hold me**

**You know I'm the one who put you up there**

**Name in the sky**

**Does it ever get lonely?**

 

At this point the audience is singing right along with her. Feeling and sharing in her pain.

 

**Thinking you could live without me**

**Thinking you could live without me**

**Baby, I'm the one who put you up there**

**I don't know why (yeah, I don't know why)”**

 

***

 

By the time the concert gets let out Lena is both exhausted and energized. She left her nervousness far behind her, and has made quick friends with all the people around her. Everyone has the same buzz of energy around them. A mix of craziness for sure, but something deeper. Something that is left after every American Psycho show. A feeling of placement. Of finding those that are willing to except you, without judgement, and complement you in the best ways. Lena has never felt that before in her life.

 

As they make their way back to the car Lena tackles Sam in a koala bear hug, causing Sam to laugh at her antics.

 

“Thank you Sam. This has been one of the best nights of my life.”

 

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Sam smiles and they both hop into their car and head back to the hotel in a state of bliss, excitement, and exhaustion.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this was based on actual concerts I've attended. I also have an entire playlist of what I think Alex's music sounded like if anyone is interested. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Oh! Here is the link to what the mask looks like if anyone is curious:  
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/552746554245555839/
> 
> Musical Credit:  
> Semi Precious Weapons - Semi Precious Weapons  
> Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy  
> Bad Reputaion - Joan Jett  
> Without Me - Halsey


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The same night: Alex's View Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was angsty. Which worked out well cause I was in a bad mood when I decided to write it. Its a tad longer than the others. Thank you for all the comments and Kudos. They give me happy feelings!
> 
> TW: Alcoholism, Self Hatred. 
> 
> I Promise it will get happy again.

**2010**

**Metropolis**

**American Psycho’s Hotel Suite**

****

***

****

“AP… AP wake up! Someone is banging on the door.” Alex reluctantly opens her eyes and peers over to see a woman she doesn’t remember meeting standing over her in what appears to be a very see through robe. Alex narrows her eyes at the woman trying her hardest to place where, when, and who this woman is. ‘ _Fuck! Where the hell am I? Who the fuck is at the door!?’_

****

“Ugh… I’m coming!” Alex screams towards the door and instantly regrets it when her head starts to split open from the inside. While Alex is throwing on a shirt, the woman ‘ _Amy? Jamie? Fuck I don’t care.’_ starts to sit back on the bed relaxing. Alex raises a single eyebrow at her action.

****

“You can leave now.” Alex gestures to the door,  ignoring the hurt expression on the woman’s face. She just huffs, calls her a bitch and grabs her clothes.

****

Alex finally makes herself presentable, or as much as she is able, and saunters over to the door. No name walks up as Alex opens the door. She hears more than feels the slap that hits her face as no name walks out, pushing past the irritated woman on the other side of the door.

****

“What?”

****

“What? That's all you can say to me?” Cookie Lyon, Alex’s manager, asks with thinly veiled contempt. At Alex’s shrug, Cookie rolls her eyes and pushes into the suite.

****

“Well as per usual, you are fucking late to sound check. I came here to make sure you didn’t choke on your own self pity, or that one of your hoes didn’t kill you.” Cookie bends down to throw Alex’s pants at her, smacking her right in the face. “Now get dressed and lets go.”Alex grumbles but does what she is told.

****

***

****

Sound check was a complete shit show. Well, everyone sounded great, but Alex. She’s a mix of hungover and still drunk. Being hungover isn’t helping her sound at all, but she could care less. She will be drunk for the show, so she’ll sound great. She’s still trying to decide if she wants to drink scotch or vodka.

****

It takes an hour, but she gets through sound check, and quickly makes her way back to her dressing room. On her way back she is able to catch a young intern. The girl is wearing ripped jeans and a brightly colored t shirt with a dog on it. The outfit makes Alex chuckle, reminding her of Kara. The thought of her family back home quickly pulls Alex back into her own self - loathing and she needs a drink fast.

****

“Hey” Alex barks out, with more force than necessary.

****

“Uh… hi? I mean ho… how can I help you?” Her rambling makes Alex smirk internally.

****

“I need you to go get me a bottle of Johnny Walker, and bring it to my dressing room.” Alex walks away without waiting for a response. It only takes the girl 10 minutes to bring the bottle back to her. Alex throws a 50 at her and the girl quickly leaves. Alex takes in the neat stack of clothes Cookie had sent over for her to wear tonight. With a quick push from her foot the clothes stumble to the ground, the mask sliding under the couch.

****

Alex looks at the clock, 2 hours until the show starts. Her phone pings from somewhere in the pile of clothes. _Shit I was wondering where that was._ When she pulls it out, she swallows hard. 15 missed texts from Kara, and 5 missed calls from Kara and her mother.

****

**Kara:** **Alex, I haven’t heard from you in awhile. I know you’re busy but...**

****

**Kara:** **I have exciting news!!**

****

**Kara:** **I got into National City University!**

****

Kara:  **That means we will be in the same city again!!**

****

Kara:  **Alex??**

****

Kara:  **Are you ok?**

Kara:  **I talked to Cookie. She says your fine. Alex, I know you are on the road, but I miss**

**hearing from you**

 

****

Kara:  **I hear you are going to be in metropolis!!**

****

Kara:  **I texted Clark to say hi!**

****

 

Kara:  **Alex? I never heard from you yesterday**

****

Kara: **I know you are busy with your rockstar life that you love**

****

Kara:  **But you never miss it**

****

Kara:  **And I miss you**

Kara:  **Please text me back, I hope you are safe and happy**

****

Kara:  **I love you Alex**

****

Alex takes another look at the dates before she starts cursing herself out. Willing herself to open the voicemail from her mother, she falls further into her self - loathing.

****

“Alexandra, I cannot believe you!” Her mother’s voice cuts in with a sharp whisper. Behind her Alex can make out Kara’s soft cries. “You missed Kara’s 18th birthday and she is devastated. I know this year has been hard with Maggie leaving, but honestly I expected better from you.”

****

Alex just sits there staring at her phone long after the message has stopped. _I am the worst person on this planet. Nope scratch that. I am the worst person on every planet. I’m failing my family. I missed her birthday. How the hell could I let that happen?!_ Alex knew how. It was sitting there staring at her. Her mind goes down the same path of self loathing it always does. A spiraling sinkhole with no end in sight. Quickly unscrewing the cap she starts chugging the scotch.

****

***

****

“Fucking hell Alex! You’re supposed to be on in 20 minutes!” At this point Alex had fallen off her chair and is laying on the floor with the bottle of scotch secure in her hand. Cookie walks over with a bucket of water and throws it on her. Alex starts spluttering and quickly leans over to vomit in the plant next to her.

****

“Come on, let’s get up.” Cookie helps her stand and hands her a cup of water.

****

“I missed… I forgot.... I…” Alex stumbles out her words.

****

“Ok there is no time for this. Now want me to slap you sober?” Alex nods and hears the second slap of the day land on her cheek. It seems to do the trick and she feels slightly more alert.

****

“10 minutes!” Cookie yells as she is leaving the room. Alex tries to quickly get her leather pants on and tank top. Opting to forget the bra in the name of comfort. She quickly slicks her shoulder length hair back, and throws on some red lipstick. _Fuck!! Where is the mask??_

****

“Cookie!!” Alex yells out the door as the warm up band walks past. Their lead singer looking her up and down with a smirk. He struts by regardless of the glare Alex sends him.

****

“What now Alex?” Cookie walks up unimpressed with Alex only looking half ready.

****

“I can’t find the mask.” Alex says in a panic, coming out somewhat slurred.

****

“Oh for fuck sake! I’m done with your shit Alex!” Cookie pushes her out of the door jam and begins the search for the mask. They can hear the crowd start to scream, and frantically look for the mask. Cookie finds it under the couch where it had fallen. She quickly straps it to her face. Alex is just about to leave the room when Cookie grabs onto her arm.

****

“I’m serious Alex. I’m done. You’re on your own after the tour ends.” Alex just swallows and nods as she makes her way to the stage. She knocks back her pre-show glass of vodka that is waiting for her and makes her way on stage with a slight stumble.

****

It takes playing the first song for reality to realign for Alex. She’s lucky she has been playing for years. She could be dead and still play the right notes.

****

“Hello!” Alex yells into the mic. The crowd cheering around her. All she can see is the blinding lights and arms flailing in front of her. “It's great to be in…” _Fuck where the hell am I??_ Alex sneaks a glance at Cookie who is just shaking her head. “this great city! I wanna hear all you psychos scream.”

Alex plays through a few more songs; stripping her jacket and throwing it somewhere on the stage. She makes it through most of the set with minimal staggering. She tries to remember what the next song is. Thankful for the setlist or she wouldn’t have known what the fuck to play.

****

**I'm nothing but a low life**

**Thinking about my own life**

**I can't help myself from falling**

**Can't help myself from falling**

****

Alex can’t help the tears that spring in her eyes. Luckily hidden behind the mask and stage fog. She hopes her voice doesn’t waver, but suspects it does.

****

**I'm nothing but a low life**

**Thinking about my own life**

**I'm trying to fight the good own fight**

**But after it all, I'm still just a low life**

****

**Wanna be better, but it's a hard life**

**Without that love inside you, it's a cown bind**

**But, I started to reflect on all that's been before**

**Started to wonder, but, but you can't be sure**

****

_I’m worse than a low life. I am worthless, and I deserve nothing that I have._

****

**Now please tell me I'm broke**

**It's much easier that way, 'cause I just let you down**

**It's much easier that way**

****

_I know I’m broken. There is nothing left to fix. There’s nothing worth saving._

****

**I'm nothing but a low life (low life)**

**Thinking 'bout my own life (own life)**

**I can't help myself from falling**

**Can't help myself from falling**

****

**I'm nothing but a low life (low life)**

**Thinking 'bout my own life (own life)**

**I'm trying to fight the good own fight**

**But after it all, I'm still just a low life**

****

Alex has to take an unplanned break after that song. Quickly fleeing the stage without a word. She pushes past Cookie, who tries to reach out to her. She runs back to her dressing room and grabs the bottle. She swallows as much as she can in one go. Quickly coughing, she makes her way back to the stage to finish the show.

*******

****

“You wanna get out of here?” says the girl that has been grinding into Alex’s crotch for the past 20 minutes. Alex fled the arena right after the show and went to the first gay bar she could fine. Which was apparently a bar named The Gay 90s.

****

Alex is delirious and beyond wasted, but that doesn’t mean sex won’t help to drown out more of her thoughts. Quickly she grabs the woman’s hand and drags her out of the crowd. They both stumble out of the club and would have face planted, if it were not for the bouncer who catches them.

****

Alex pulls out the key to her car, and starts clicking the lock button to try and find it. That should have been a clue to her about how drunk she really was because she was standing in front of her car the whole time. Although, she would have had to care enough to worry. _Fuck was my car always blue?_

****

Just as Alex moves towards the car she drops the keys, and falls over trying to pick them up. When she stands back up the woman is gone and in her stead a cop looking very unimpressed.

****

“Officer, I can explain.” Alex says with a heavy slur to her voice and nearly falls back over. The cop just shakes her head and grabs onto her arm, dragging her to the squad car. Alex barely fights it.

****

***

****

Alex just sits in the cell with her head in her hands. _Way to go Alex. The continued screw up and fucking disaster. And Cookie won’t even come bail me out. Not like I deserve any better than this fucking cell. I should just rot here._

****

“Let’s go Danvers. Someone posted your bail.” The officer on duty comes and unlocks the cell. Alex turns around surprised, but quickly narrows her eyes when she sees a man walk in.

****

“Clark.”

****

“Alex.” Alex makes her way out of the cell and quickly pushes past him. “Alex! I need to talk to you.” She quickly spins around on the man, not noticing the other man with him.

****

“I have nothing to say to you Clark. You should have just left me in that cell.”

****

“That would have been a waste of potential Alex.” says the dark skinned man to Clarks left. Alex nearly gives herself whiplash turning to look at him.

****

“And who the fuck are you?” Alex pushes into his space, unafraid.

****

“Alex,” Clark tries to placate, “this is Hank Henshaw. A friend.”

****

“Well I’m not looking for a new friend, so…” Alex attempts to push her way out of the precinct.

****

“No the only thing Rockstars need is fans, not friends.” Alex stops cold, slowly turning towards Hank. She looks around to make sure they are alone.

****

“How do you know about that?!”

****

“I know a lot of things Alex.” Hank says in a calm voice, while Alex glares over at Clark.

****

“I know that you grew up in midvale. I know that you wanted to pursue music, but your parents wanted you to be a scientist. And I know about your sister.” Alex sees red and starts to push into his space; stare into his eyes, even though she doesn’t quite reach his height.

****

“What about my sister?” She grits out, again sending a quick glare at Clark.

****

“It must be hard. Someone comes into your life with these extraordinary powers, and you feel like you’ll never measure up. Until one day you find something you aren’t just good at, but extraordinary at also. Only, it's too dangerous to be in the spotlight as Alex Danvers, Kara Danvers’ sister, so you have to hide yourself. Hide behind a mask, stuck feeling ordinary everyday of your life. Only allowed to be extraordinary as someone else.”

****

Alex takes a few steps back. The words punch her in the gut, and she’s finding it hard to breathe.

****

“Well guess what? You are extraordinary Alex. You are more extraordinary as Alex than you ever were as American Psycho. And you can’t afford to throw that all away. You owe it to yourself and your once biggest fan… your father.”

****

“What do you want from me?” Alex says with a slight choke in her voice.

****

“My organization works to defend this planet. And we need Alex Danvers to step into the light once again, and be the person I know you can be.

****

***

****

**Daily Planet Headline:**

**American Psycho Tour Canceled: The Mask Could be Gone Forever**

**By Clark Kent**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that night went very differently than Lena's night. Also who knows what show Cookie is from??
> 
> Music Credit:  
> Low Life - X Ambassadors


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena Brood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the Kudos and Comments! They are life!

It takes two days for Alex to show back up at work. Kara had been checking on her from afar; listening to her heartbeat to make sure she was ok. She knew that she needed to give her space, but it still hurt to see Alex hurting and not be able to help. Alex Danvers was hunted by many demons; some from her past; some from her present; most were ones Kara would probably never understand, even if she wanted to..

 

Alex is in pain, that much is obvious. Due to that pain she had spent most of those two days searching for the cure promised at the bottom of every bottle. Unfortunately for her, the only thing she did find was a wicked hangover. On that third day, Kara finally finds her sister in the training room punching her sadness away. She’s been in there for over 2 hours beating on a heavy bag, that somehow looks better than Alex at the moment.

 

“Alex” Kara says quietly. Alex knew she was there the moment she walked in, but Kara still didn’t want to startle her. Alex just ignores her in favor of punching the heavy bag as hard as she can. She speeds up her swings, and the muscles in her arm and back tense with every swing. Alex is training in her government issue black tank top and workout pants. Both of which are already soaked through with sweat. Kara just sighs, and decides to sit down and wait for her big sister to collapse from exhaustion.

 

It's a good 45 minutes later before Alex screams out one last punch and collapses on the ground, nearly being hit by the bag as it violently swings back. Luckily she collapsed flat on her back, the bag swinging over her head. Kara just scoots over to where she is laying, stopping the bag as she goes. 

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kara just nods and after a few seconds responds.

 

“Ok… But Alex,” Alex just groans and attempts to cover her face with her hands. Unfortunately she has no energy left so she just avoids Kara’s gaze. “When was the last time you saw Gertrude?”

 

“It’s just a guitar Kara.” Alex sighs, irritated that she ever named the damn thing.

 

“If that was the case you wouldn’t be flat on your back sweating out gallons of alcohol.” Kara nudges Alex with her foot. “So?”

 

She shakes her head trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know. I left it somewhere at my last concert. The one in Metropolis right after… your…” Alex’s voice starts to choke and the tears start making their way towards her temple. Kara, who had been looking at Alex with concern, now reaches over to connect their gaze. Fingers softly holding Alex’s face.

 

“I already forgave you a long time ago for missing my birthday. When will you forgive yourself?” Kara asks with quiet concern, and Alex just scoffs pulling herself out of Kara’s grip. “Hey, you were going through a lot back then, between Maggie cheating on you and…”

 

“What!” Alex snaps making Kara flinch at volume, “being an extremely successful recording artist with women throwing themselves at me and the world at my fingertips! To being so pathetic…” Alex voice starts to lose its anger, sadness swallowing her whole, “to throw my life down the drain over and over again.”

 

“Alex,” Alex still refuses to look at Kara and pushes away her touches. “Alex you are so smart. Successful. Beautiful. So, so strong….and you’re my hero.” Kara finishes the sentence with such an ernest quiet voice that it causes Alex to finally look up. She looks over and locks eyes with the concerned blue eyes staring at her. The sob bubbles up in her chest and Kara quickly pulls her into a hug.

 

They sit like that, curled up on the floor of the training room, until Lucy comes to see where they have been holed up. She stops when she sees them on the floor, unsure she should interrupt them. It's too late because Kara already heard her coming, and looks over at her. Luckily Alex has stopped crying and is just laying there in Kara’s arms. 

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Kara your girl was looking for you.” Lucy says with an apologetic tone.

 

“Thanks Lucy, tell her I’ll be there soon.”With that Lucy nods and makes her way out before yelling back to Alex.

 

“Alex!” Alex looks up over Kara’s arm, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but you’re tough as shit. You’ll be fine.” Alex just gives her a small smile, and Lucy nods in return, heading out the door. Normally Alex wouldn’t be caught dead showing weakness in front of anyone but Kara, but her and Lucy have become much closer since she became co-director.

 

“What are you going to do about Lena? And about the guitar?” Kara asks after Lucy is out of earshot.

 

Alex blows out a breath, “I don’t know. I mean I feel like that guitar no longer belongs to me. It belongs to someone I used to be. It wouldn’t feel the same in my hands now even if I wanted to play it. Which I don’t. Not now, maybe not ever. And Lena… fuck… how did i never realize she was this crazy super fan.”

 

“You were too focused on her being a Luthor to ever notice anything else about her.” Alex shoots Kara a low level glare.

 

“Are you saying you knew she was a crazy super fan this whole time and didn’t tell me.” Alex accuses.

 

“No… I no… crazy fan is maybe a bit too far… but she… just....” Kara starts to ramble and Alex just intensivies the glare, “She never said how much of a fan she was, just that she was a fan of your music. Lots of people are fans Alex. You were kind of a gay icon.” Alex blushes and gets up deciding she doesn’t need both arms to fall asleep, and that she’s spent enough time laying on this dirty floor covered in her blood, sweat, and tears. “Hell even Lucy and Vasquez are fans, yet you never told either of them.”

 

“Well Lucy would just be a pain in my ass about it. And I don’t know Vasquez that well.”

 

“Like she isn’t already? And if you weren’t so grouchy all the time, maybe you could make friends with the other Agents.” Kara laughed in a singsong voice, sounding eerily like a preschool teacher right then. Alex just smiled thinking about the shorter woman who had quickly become one of her best friends, and the potential of maybe finding another friend outside of work.

 

“You need to talk to Lena, that’s all I’m saying. Now I must not keep my lady waiting any longer, we have a zoo date!!” Kara says with excited hand motions. Alex just chuckles at her sisters antics, but feels a slight pang in her chest. She’s happy for Kara, she really is, but she misses that kind of excitement of a new relationship; or any relationship really. Kara practically skips out the door, while Alex decides to hit the showers. If she works up the nerve to talk to Lena a shower would be a good idea.

 

***

 

Since the commotion in her office Lena has barely left it. Choosing to stay most nights in her on suite. Luckily she has a full wardrobe and bathroom in there as well. Lena isn’t sure what to think about Alex’s actions. She has spent days thinking about it, but it still leaves an uneasy feeling. Not that Lena has ever understood much about Alex. The older Danvers has always been somewhat of a mystery to her. Lena won’t deny having a small crush on the woman, but who wouldn’t when she comes running in like a white knight in kevlar all the time. And don’t get Lena started on that damn haircut, but it’s Kara’s sister and she’d never dream of pursuing the crush. A crush like most things can be fleeting, and her friendship with Kara and maybe even Alex is too important to risk on fleeting. 

 

“Ms. Luthor?” Jess buzzes interrupting her thoughts.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I have an Agent Danvers here for you. She has decided not to just barge in this time.” Lena laughs when she hears Alex’s huff of annoyance over the line.

 

“Let her in Jess,” Amusement coloring her tone.

 

Alex walks in with an amused, irritated frown. Lena wasn’t even aware those two emotions could intersect, but here Alex is with it plastered on her face.

 

“Your assistant really has some sass to her.”

 

Lena chuckles, “yeah, I really like that about her. Keeps me on my toes.” Alex laughs a small laugh before silence descends over the room. Alex just shuffles her feet in front of Lena’s desk, not sitting down.

 

“Alex,” she looks up meeting green eyes, “why are you here?”

 

“I came to apologize for my behavior, and for ruining your property. I can fix it...” She looks back to see the guitar hanging back where it had been. Taking a deep breathe she turns back to the green gaze. “You already fixed it.”

 

“Kara actually.”

 

“Did she say anything?” Alex just nods at Lena’s head shake. They stand in silence again, Lena no longer willing to break it. Finally Alex sits down in the chair, but doesn’t utter a word. Lena can see her fidgeting with her hands, a move so like Kara’s she wonders if that is where the blonde picked it up. Finally Lena has had enough. She hits the buzzer.

 

“Jess,”

 

“Yes Ms. Luthor.”

 

“Have the valet bring my car around.”

 

“Of course.” Alex just looks up at Lena in question. Lena ignores the look in favor of packing up her stuff. She is almost through the door before Alex realizes she should follow. She quickly runs after her, barely making the elevator. The ride is done in silence, and they are quickly making their way towards a Tesla Model S; deep blue with black interior.

 

“Thank you Thomas.” Lena says to the man handing over her keys.

 

“Of course, Ms. Luthor.”

 

“Tell Cindy and the girls I say hi.” The man just gives her a big beaming smile. The interaction throws Alex, but she quickly makes her way into the car. Lena is quick to speed off, barely letting Alex’s door shut. If Alex wasn’t used to driving during tactical maneuvers, she would have grabbed her “oh shit handles” with the way Lena was speeding through the city. They finally come to a stop in front of what Alex recognizes as her favorite Chinese place.

 

“Why are we here? And how did you know this is my favorite place?”

 

“I’m hungry and Kara told me.”

 

“Oh…” Lena quickly makes her way out of the car, and Alex scrambles to follow. Alex has never felt more off balance before in her life, and she isn’t sure what to do about it. Lena leads them to a table in the back; more sectioned off than the others. After they order their food, they both sit in the booth silent. Lena staring intently at Alex. 

 

“So care to fill me in on that episode in my office, or are we going to pretend like it never happened.” Lena says with a tilt to her head “I understand wanting to keep secrets, so I won’t force you to tell me. But that secret looked like old pain, and if anyone can understand old pain it's me.”

 

Alex debated internally for a while, while Lena just waited patiently in silence. She chances a look up, and meets her earnest and caring green eyes.  _ How have I never noticed that she has the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. Ok Alex, it’s not the time to be a gay disaster. Just blurt it out.  _ Alex takes a deep breath and looks down. She can’t bare to look her in the eyes when she spills her most painful secret. Of course if she had been looking up she would have not only seen the caring in her eyes, but also the fact that she had just taken a sip of water.

 

“I’m American Psycho.” Alex blurts.

 

And Lena promptly chokes on her sip of water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? Also if you have an opinion about who you want Kara to be with let me know in the comments. I have an idea, but that doesn't mean it can't change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Alex have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and Kudos they give me life!! 
> 
> If you read this once, I suggest reading again. I added a whole scene new scene at the end.
> 
> Also I decided to stick with the original Kara pairing I had, but it will very much be a background relationship. This is mainly Agentcorp.

“What?!” Lena’s voice squeaks 2 octaves higher than can be solely blamed on the water alone.

 

Lena’s coughing fit had lasted longer than Kara’s; that damn Kryptonian genetics. It was also shorter than Alex’s; with far less swearing. It probably helps that half of it went flying out of her mouth and across the table. Alex attempted to subtly wipe her face of the spray. A waiter had come over to make sure she hadn’t choked, and was quickly waved off.

 

“Umm,” Alex stutters out, “the guitar in your office? Its… well mine.” Lena stares at her stunned, mouth agape, and not breathing. Finally she sucks in a much needed breath of air and clicks her jaw shut. She is silent for a beat, and Alex can see the gears turning in her mind. No doubt question after question trying to push their way to the front of the line. Lena opens her mouth to speak and Alex braces herself for fangirling.

 

“What the hell is it with you Danvers women and your secret identities!!??” Alex flinches again at the volume, luckily no one is near their table or paying them any mind. “Let me guess,” Lena starts sarcastically, “Eliza’s actually an outlaw on the run, and the lab is just a cover!!” Lena laughs an angry humorless laugh. Alex doesn't bother to quiet the CEO, just letting her get it all out. Which is exactly what Lena does; ranting about secret identities, stupid masks and glasses, and oddly about blonde pixie haircuts.

 

Alex doesn’t know what to say even if she wanted to say something. She expected shock and fangirling, but this level of anger was the last thing she expected. Normally, back when she was touring, when she told a girl who she was there was two expected responses: fangirling or having them in her lap moments later. A slight blush crossed her face at that last thought.

 

Luckily the waiter’s appearance stops her from having to say anything back to the ranting woman. Alex quickly thanks him and shovels food into her mouth, while Lena finally quiets her ranting. Food is always the second avoidance maneuver Alex uses; unfortunately, she didn’t order any of the first avoidance maneuver.

 

They continue to eat in silence. Alex shoveling bite after bite into her mouth, but Lena hasn’t eaten a single bite of hers. Instead she is pushing the food around her plate and starting to mentally spiral. She’s still in shock and not quite as in control of her emotions as she’d like to be. Alex is too focused on her food and the lack of ranting to notice the mood shift of the woman sitting next to her.

 

“Is it me?” Lena asks, thinly veiled sadness and longing can be heard even when she tries to continue to be angry. Alex stops mid chew and looks over at the woman, wondering like an idiot when she had become so sad instead of angry. It’s only later that Alex realizes the anger had been just a cover for sadness. Another emotion Alex wasn’t prepared to deal with.

 

“Why is it that no one ever trusts me first, but instead chooses to lie to me? What am I doing wrong?” Lena’s voice has become a hoarse whisper. Alex quickly swallows her bite, unable to let Lena continue thinking they all don’t trust her or worse hate her.

 

“No Lena no.” Alex’s hand hovers above the woman's arm, unsure if she should touch her. “Kara trusts you...” Alex offers.

 

“Kara trusts everyone.” Lena responds with a small bite to her tone.

 

“Well yes. That’s what happens when you are basically a golden retriever puppy. But, I don’t trust everyone, and I trust you.” Lena just gives her a look of disbelief and scoffs. “Honestly, Lena. No one but my family even knows about AP, not even Lucy. And not just because of her big mouth.” Lena gives her a small smile at that.

 

“Did I have reservations about you? Yes, but I’ve trusted you since way before the whole Reign situation.” Lena gives her a hopeful, yet guarded look. “If I didn’t trust you I would have never have told you I was AP. Ever.” Lena gives her a small smile and nods.

 

“Thank you Alex... for trusting me.” Alex smiles at her and goes back to her food. Apparently a love of food is a shared Danvers trait. Feeling satisfied Lena finally starts to eat her food. The mood dip is seemingly over, and Lena is finally starting to process what happened in the last 30 minutes.

 

It only takes another 2 minutes for Lena’s genius brain to fully catch up to the situation and her heart to drop into her stomach. The reality of who Alex claims to be finally hitting Lena like a speeding train. She stops eating, drops her silverware with a clang, and just stares at Alex; the action causing Alex to pause mid chew again. _Oh god what now._

 

“Yes?” She mumbles out. Lena continues to stare in cautious shock, and pulls out her phone. A quick image search and she’s pulled up a photo of American Psycho. She reaches out to grasp Alex’s face and puts the phone next to it. Alex tenses in her grip, _God she has the softest hands. Little Alex would you just shut up. Stop acting like a gay disaster._ “Lena? What are yo…”

 

“Oh my god, you’re American Psycho.” Alex can’t help the giggle that bubbles out of her. Feeling light for the first time tonight. Lena’s inner fan girl has finally reached the forefront of her mind and starts going mentally crazy. However, like any good Luthor she quickly squashes the emotion and keeps her face as neutral as possible. She doesn’t fully succeed, but she gave it a valiant effort. _This is still Alex and she doesn’t need to play 20 questions with my crazy fan brain. She is still… well maybe a friend, I’m not sure. I’ll ask later. But she doesn’t need to be bombarded._

 

“You just realized that? What did you think I was screwing with you before?” Alex says with amusement, to which Lena just rolls her eyes.

 

“No. I was still in shock, and hurt about being lied to again.” Alex gives her a sad smile, so Lena quickly continues, “Besides I’m a scientist first, and we like to verify facts.” Lena fingers continue to rest on Alex’s face, just staring intently into her eyes. Alex is starting to feel uncomfortable under the intense gaze, and clears her throat as she shifts out of her hold to look down.

 

Alex and Lena go back to eating and talking. Luckily only about pointless topics, for which Alex is extremely grateful. Alex spends that whole time working up the nerve to ask Lena a question. A question that had been bothering her since she walked into her office last week. She’s about to ask, when Lena cuts in with a question Alex wasn’t expecting.

 

“Are we friends?”

 

“What?” _What the hell._ _This whole dinner is like being emotionally thrown around a bounce house with 15 excited children._

 

“Are we friends?”

 

“Uh, yes?” Lena chuckles.

 

“You don’t sound so confident there Agent.”

 

“Well I’ve never been bluntly asked that.” Alex huffs, “I realize this is the only time we’ve hung out one on one without Kara, but I thought we were friends. Do you want to be friends?” She asks so earnestly and with a touch of insecurity that it causes Lena to snort and tilt her head.

 

“We sound like we are in kindergarten trying to make friends.” Alex just rolls her eyes, “Not that I would know. Luthors don’t have friends, we have minions.” Lena says with a slight bitterness,” But I’m sure I could adapt.” She jokes trying to lighten the mood again.

 

“Great, so friends.” Alex feels awkward, not knowing what to do now. “I should probably get going soon.”

 

“Of course I’ll drive you home when you finished eating.”

 

“You don’t have…”

 

“Alex you live across town, let me drive you home. What are friends for?” Lena gives her a wry smile.

 

***

 

Lena ends up paying for dinner, disregarding Alex’s protests, and they make their way back to the car. They settle into the leather seats, and Alex looks over to the woman sitting next to her. A new friend she muses.

 

“Lena?”

 

“Hmm?” Lena looks over towards Alex and quickly locks their eyes. The bright green color shining in the moonlight quickly becoming a distraction and Lena has to call out, “Alex?”

 

Alex shakes her head and hopes her cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Sure, but only if I can ask one in return?” Lena smirks with an eyebrow raise. Alex just huffs out a small laugh. She would answer Alex’s question no matter what. However, she has a few of her own she is dying to know. That fangirl voice in her head is still excitedly rambling.

 

Alex just nods her head in agreement to the deal and they drive off towards Alex’s apartment. It takes a few minutes of driving, but eventually Alex can’t hold it in any longer and blurts out her question.

 

“Where did you get my guitar?” The tightening of Lena’s hands on the steering wheel can be heard in the silent car; as well as the deep breath she takes, but she continues to look straight ahead. Lena is silent for a few moment, seemingly getting her thoughts together. A quick glance to Alex sees her waiting patiently.

 

“Lex,” her voice chokes a little and she clears it. “Lex gave it to me for my birthday, a few months before he went crazy. He knew what a big fan I was.” She blushes slightly admitting that to the woman for the first time. “Truthfully, I have no idea how he got his hands on it.”

 

Alex just sighs, eyes close, head hitting the headrest behind her. Images of drunken one night stands and bright stage lights flash before her vision. “The last few months of my tour were mostly a blur. It had been the most important thing I owned at one point. It was what I wrote most of my hit songs on. But I was drunk and angry by the end. I’m pretty sure I left it at a venue; probably because I was too drunk to care about it at the time, and Cookie was fed up. It would have been left at the last concert I performed at in…”

 

“Metropolis.” Alex looks over surprised and Lena smiles at her. “I was in the 4th row with Sam.”

 

“Oh.” Silence stretches on. Alex unsure what to say about that new knowledge. Of course she knew that Lena had probably been to a concert before. But to have been at the last one, that is something Alex isn’t sure how to deal with.

 

“I’ve never hung it up before this week, or even taken it fully out of the case.” Lena continues, “When he first gave it to me I was too busy to fully appreciate it. After he… well it became a reminder of what I had lost in Lex, and what he had become. But Kara, and all of you really, helped me realize that bad memories can’t take away from the good memories still there. With all the bad in the world, holding onto those good memories is all we can do.”

 

“And if there are only bad memories.” Alex asks and Lena shrugs.

 

“Then make good ones. But are you honestly telling me you have no good memories from being a Rockstar Lesbian Icon?” Alex blushes, causing Lena to chuckle. “Thought so.” She pulls up outside Alex’s apartment building and puts it in park.

 

“I never got to ask my question?” Lena says with amusement, while Alex looks torn between staying and running away from her past for a while longer.

 

“Next time? I promise?”

 

“I don’t know Alex. How do I know if I can trust your word? You rockstars can be quite flaky.” Lena teases her. Alex is about to protest in defense of her integrity, but huffs when she sees her teasing smile.

 

“How about I offer more than one question then…” Alex grimaces and adds, “with drinks?”

 

Lena laughs, and Alex isn’t sure how to feel about the warmth that spreads through her at the sound. She gets out of the car and bends down to look through the window.

 

“You’ve got yourself a deal Agent. How’s tomorrow for you? I’ll bring the good scotch.”

 

“Sure.” Alex gulps nervously. Just because she will have to open up, nothing else causing her nerves of course.

 

Lena smiles before leaving Alex standing on the sidewalk wondering what the hell happened tonight.

 

_Well shit._

 

***

 

Kara is lounging on her sisters couch, munching on popcorn when Alex finally makes it through the door. She’s wearing a brand new National City Zoo t-shirt, with a bright yellow lion on it. Alex just chuckles at the sight.

 

“I see the date with Imra went well.” Alex nudges Kara’s feet closer to her on the couch and sinks down onto it. Her sister instantly brightens at her girlfriend’s name. She starts to speak at a rapid speed with hand gestures and everything.

 

“Yeah! We went and saw the new baby lion! Alex he was so precious and so small! His name is Bogo, because they bought the mom and got him. Isn’t that just adorable! And Imra got me this shirt!” Kara gestures needlessly at the shirt. It's a bright enough yellow to be seen from space.

 

“Looks good.” Alex’s voice doesn’t quite match the smile she’s plastered on her face, and Kara notices easily. She stops her rambling to look intently at Alex. Alex for her part just stays dead silent.

 

“So?” Kara asks curiously, while nudging Alex with her foot.

 

“What?” Innocence coloring her tone and features, but Kara just looks at her exasperated.

 

“So did you tell Lena who you are?”

 

“Who I was.”

 

“Yes, yes, details.” Kara stares intently at her sister before Alex finally nods. “And?”

 

“And, there was a lot of emotions. Ones I wasn’t sure how to deal with.” Kara tilts her head curiously, while Alex sighs.

 

“Well she was angry at first. That yet another person had lied to her. Kept muttering about the Danvers women and secret identities. Even made a joke about mom as an outlaw.”

 

Kara snorts and mutters, “If she only knew.”

 

“Yes well, that anger quickly turned into sadness. I assured her that we all trusted her; that I trusted her. I think she finally believed me, but it took a lot of convincing. That woman doesn’t seem to trust easily, but then again we haven’t given her a lot of reason to. But I plan on changing that.” Kara gives Alex the softest look; love and pride shining in her eyes. She knows the world sees her as a badass with a gun, but her sister truly has the softest soul. Kara is just so ecstatic that Alex has finally brought Lena under her, well maybe not love, but caring and protection.

 

“And well after sadness came shock. Honestly Kara it was the craziest roller coaster of emotions. Everytime I thought it was safe I was thrown off balance again. It was unnerving.” Kara just laughs softly imagining how this all must have gone. Alex decides to keep quiet about the fact that Lena asked if they were friends. Keep the joy that brought deep inside just for herself.

 

“So how did she get Gertrude?” Kara asks impatiently. 

 

“Lex gave it to her, oh and guess what?” Alex says trying to steer Kara away from a topic she feels she has no right talking about. Kara just looks at her with rapt attention waiting for her to continue.

 

“That last concert in Metropolis?” Kara nods, “Lena AND Sam were in the 4th row.” Kara’s eyes widen and then she bursts into laughter. Alex looks at her grumpily, “What’s so funny?”

 

“All of the…” Kara gets her laughter under control, “women in your life are also your fangirls.” Kara snorts,  “It’s just so hilarious. If only they knew who was standing next to them. You’re both so broody you would think they would notice the similarity.” Kara teases her, somewhat ironically, and Alex just scowls.

 

“Yes, Ha. Ha. So glad my misery is amusing. You know better than anyone how much it sucks to hide a secret this large” Alex looks down at her hands fisting around in her lap, while Kara just looks at her thoughtfully.

 

“Then don’t.” Alex’s head whips up so fast she nearly gives herself whiplash.

 

“I’m sorry what?”

 

“Tell them, the people in your life.”

 

“I can’t do that.”

 

“Why not? The reason you hid was to protect me. Well all of your friends, the people who love you, already know who I am. You only hide now to help hide your pain. But Alex don’t you get it? Hiding it doesn’t make the pain go away.” 

 

Kara’s words ring around in her mind. The truth is undeniable. And, she realizes that telling Lena tonight, as much as it had been nerve-wracking and a roller coaster, had felt freeing. Kara can tell she’s lost her sister to the maze inside her mind. She wishes her a goodnight before flying out of the window, leaving her alone to her thoughts. 

 

“She’s crazy,” She mutters to herself. “I can’t just walk up and say, ‘hey we are out of coffee filters and by the way I used to be rockstar.’” She just scoffs and shakes her head. That light feeling in her chest, the one that started to expand when she was honest with Lena, it starts to nag its way back in at the thought of letting others in. It’s not like she doesn’t trust these people she surrounds herself with. She’s just… afraid, but maybe she doesn’t have to be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone recognize what Helen Slater movie I was referencing? Also what did we think? I reworked it again, so 5th times the charm. I'm happy I added that last scene though. 
> 
> Don't worry Alex and Lena will get more into their past over drinks hopefully next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Alex have a better talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos!
> 
> If you read the last chapter before, I suggest rereading it because I added an entire scene to the end of it.
> 
> Hope you like this much longer chapter!!

It’s seven PM by the time Lena buzzes Alex’s apartment. Alex had spent the majority of her day cleaning and working out. The later she had used mostly as a way to work through her feelings. After her talk with Kara, she felt confused and rattled. She had spent so much time living behind that mask. It had defined who she was, and she had been protecting her sister by wearing it. It seems foolish now, because who was she protecting her from? The people in Alex’s life who already knew who she was? People who already loved the ray of sunshine she called a sister? Alex doesn’t know what to think anymore. All she knows is the free feeling of having another person she can be completely honest with; Lena.

****

“Come on up.” Alex buzzes Lena into the building. She had decided on wearing a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a red henley. Something she’s comfortable in, but isn’t just sweats. She quickly ushers Lena in when she hears the knock. Alex takes a moment to appreciate her  in her “casual” clothes. By all accounts the jeans and sweater are casual, but when they are both designer they become a tad less casual. _I wonder if she even owns sweats. Probably ones nicer than my fancy clothes._

****

Alex walks over to the kitchen to grab glasses and Lena follows setting the bottle of 1926 Macallan down on the counter. Alex nearly drops the glasses when she sees it, eyes widening comically large.

****

“Holy crap Lena!” Lena just looks between her gaping face and the bottle she set down questionly. “When you said you were bringing the good scotch you weren’t kidding! I think this cost more than I made at my first job bartending! And I got a hell of a lot of tips!” Lena just laughs at the look of child like glee on Alex’s face.

****

“Well I figured the scotch quality should match the level of baggage to be unloaded. Shall we?” She gestures to the couch, and grabs the bottle. They pour themselves 2 fingers each and Alex quickly takes a sip, moaning at the taste. Lena tries her best not to blush at the noise, but a pink still tints her cheeks. _Maybe this scotch was a mistake._

****

“So I guess I’m ready as I’ll ever be. Fire away.” Alex looks at Lena in what she hopes is openness and honesty. She’s never been good at either, but she’s going to try her hardest. Lena, for her part, had been working on what question to ask first. She finally decides that there is no better place to start than the beginning.

****

“Why did you call yourself American Psycho?”

****

Alex takes a deep breath, “Well it’s an interesting story actually. The short story is that it was a nickname given to me by the same person that introduced me to my future manager. The long story is well longer. It all started when I was in college and needing help to pay for the things loans didn’t cover, like booze.” Lena snickers at that.

****

_____

****

**_2006_ **

****

_“Alex I’m telling you! This will be so much fun, and we will get paid for it!” Alex’s friend Tracy says with glee in her voice and in her hand gestures._

****

_“I’m not sure about this. I don’t even know how to act!”_

****

_“It’s not acting. You’re an extra. You just have to party, and I know you can do that.” She says with a smirk._

****

_“What if my family sees the video?” Alex could feel the instant exasperation on her friends face._

****

_“Are you trying to tell me that your mother and that little sunshine of a sister listen to Marilyn Manson. Enough so in fact that they will look up his new music video when it comes out.”_

****

_“Well…”_

****

_“Great, so let’s go!”_

****

_It had in fact went fine, that is up until they asked her to get into a hot tub with the man himself. She had tried her hardest to act cool, but wasn’t sure she accomplished it._

****

_____

****

“You got in a hot tub with Marilyn Manson?!” Lena asks with shock on her face. Barely holding in the urge to google this video instantly.

****

“Shush I’m telling a story,” Lena just rolls her eyes, “but yes.”

****

_____

****

_It was at the after party later, that’s when things had gotten interesting. She had been mostly keeping to herself. The party was held at this massive estate, smack in the middle of the city. As long as she had lived here Alex had never even realized this place existed. She was only slightly drunk at this point, and well below being drunk enough to deal with the craziness that seemed to surround her. People she never expected to meet were dancing all over the large room. Some had the craziest piercings she’d ever seen; some had tattoos across every inch of skin; some had skulls, real or fake Alex couldn’t sayl, strapped to their bodies; and some had all three._

****

_Tracy had ditched her early on at the party to go meet up with some guy she had met on set, and Alex wasn’t sure what to do with herself. She knew for certain she had to get out of this room. The walls had started feeling like they were closing in on her, and the air was stifling hot and mixed with sweat and booze. Alex quickly downed the drink in her hand and headed out to find some air._

****

_She found herself entering a room filled with musical equipment. Guitars of all shapes and sizes lined the walls. There was a drum kit in a corner and mixing equipment sat in the center. She knows she really shouldn’t be in here, but this bright white guitar catches her eye. It’s so similar to the one she has at home that she feels drawn right over to it. She had barely played since leaving for college. Carefully she pulls it out of the stand and throws the strap over her shoulder._

****

_She starts to strum, nothing specific at first, but then starts to play something she had been working on for awhile. Something that pulled at a her soul, deep inside._

****

**_Are you insane like me?_ **

**_Been in pain like me?_ **

**_Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?_ **

**_Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?_ **

**_Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?_ **

****

**_Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?_ **

**_Do you tear yourself apart to succeed like me?_ **

**_Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?_ **

**_Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?_ **

****

**_And all the people say_ **

**_You can't wake up, this is not a dream_ **

**_You're part of a machine, you are not a human being_ **

**_With your face all made up, living on a screen_ **

**_Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline_ **

****

**_I think there's a flaw in my code_ **

**_These voices won't leave me alone_ **

**_Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold_ **

****

**_Are you deranged like me?_ **

**_Are you strange like me?_ **

**_Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?_ **

**_Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?_ **

**_Pointing fingers 'cause you'll never take the blame like me?_ **

****

**_And all the people say_ **

**_You can't wake up, this is not a dream_ **

**_You're part of a machine, you are not a human being_ **

**_With your face all made up, living on a screen_ **

**_Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline_ **

****

**_I think there's a flaw in my code_ **

**_These voices won't leave me alone_ **

**_Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold_ **

****

_The slow clap startles Alex. She had been so focused on the song. So drawn into her own world, that she had failed to hear the door open behind her. Spinning around quickly she finds herself face to face with her host. Alex’s eyes widen and she stutters to speak. She nearly drops the guitar and is saved by the strap around her shoulders._

****

_“You’re more than just a pretty face.”_

****

_“Umm.. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tou-touched…. I - I’ll just put it back.” Alex quickly takes the guitar off and puts it back where she had found it. Then turns back to the man waiting patiently behind her._

****

_“No one is supposed to be in here,” he lifts his hand to stop Alex’s apologies, “don’t apologize. That song. I haven’t heard pain that raw and that real for a long time. You were part of the video. What’s your name again?”_

****

_“Uh, Alex. Alex Danvers.”_

****

_“Well Alex, not to be cliche as fuck, but here.” He hands over a small white card._

****

_Alex takes the card with only slightly trembling fingers and looks down at it._ Cookie Lyon, Talent Agent. _Alex looks up surprised, but he is no longer standing in front of her. Instead he has made his way back to the door headed back towards the party. Turning around he looks her up and down, taking in the sparkly skirt and bright red top that Tracy all but forced her to wear._

****

_“Alex, has anyone ever told you that you’re like one of those optical illusions.” She looks at him confused. “Most will assume you’re just another American beauty. Sunshine and rainbows, without darkness or depth.” he huffs out a laugh while she blushes, “but the special ones; the ones that matter; they can see the whole picture. You’re beautiful, but deep down your really just an American psycho like the rest of us”_

****

____

****

“So I called Cookie the next day, and the rest is history.” Alex take a deep pull of the scotch, but stops the moan that tries to escape. She realizes that this is the first time she’s told the entire story to anyone, even Kara.

****

“I can’t believe you’re friends with Marilyn Manson!”

****

“I wouldn’t call us friends,” Alex tries to brush it off with a small laugh, but she can’t help the smile on her face. It’s true they aren’t really friends, more like acquaintances, but he had jump started her career.

****

“Still that’s pretty incredible.”

****

“Says the woman who knows billionaires and rocket scientists.” Lena just shrugs.

****

“Yes, but I don’t know any rockstars… well I guess just the one.” She gives Alex a small wink. Lena refills both their glasses before she looks at Alex intently. With the look on Lena’s face Alex is trying to brace herself for the next question she knows is coming. Trying and failing to not squirm under the gaze. _I’m a director for the DEO for rao’s sake. I shouldn’t be effected by her gaze this much._

****

“Is ‘Without Me’ about Maggie?” Lena had heard Kara briefly mention the woman. All she knew was it was Alex’s first love, and that she broke her heart.

****

Alex blows out a deep breath and takes a long pull of the scotch.

****

“Yes.”

****

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to Alex.” Lena cuts in quickly, cursing herself for overstepping.

****

“I know.” Alex gives her a reassuring smile. They are silent for a moment before Alex continues, “How much has Kara told you?”

****

“Just that you loved her, and she broke your heart.”

****

Alex just nods at this information, “Well what she left out was that I walked in on her fucking another woman in our bed.” Alex spits out bitterly. Lena doesn’t know what to say, so instead she just refills her glass. Alex quickly downing it, so Lena refills it again. But before Alex can slam it again, Lena rests her hand on Alex’s arm. It causes Alex to look up into concerned green eyes. Surprisingly, Alex finds that they aren’t filled with pity, but empathy.

****

“I’m sorry Alex. You didn’t deserve that.”

****

“Didn’t I? It’s not like I ever put her first. Not like I ever cared enough to understand how she felt. She begged me to come home to her, and I just kept touring selfishly.”

****

“Is this what actually happened, or what she told you happened.” Lena asks narrowing her eyes and taking a long pull of her drink. She keeps her hand on Alex’s arm, keeping the other woman steady.

****

“What difference does that make?” Alex asks somewhat harshly.

****

“Because I don’t believe for a second that any of that is true Alex.” She scoffs and Lena quickly puts both of their drinks down; enveloping Alex’s hands within her own. “You are one of the most caring people I have ever met Alex. And I have no doubt that you were just as caring back then. Hell! You gave up fame and notoriety by hiding behind a mask, just to protect Kara. No one I know would ever give up something like that for someone else. No one but you Alex.”

****

The tears start to well up in Alex’s eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. Refuses to be a sad drunk in front of Lena.

****

“How did you know that? About the mask?” She says in a quiet voice. Lena just tilts her head, giving the woman across from her a soft look.

****

“Alex you try to emulate armor, but the truth is you wear your heart on your sleeve. The people you care about are always put first. It wasn’t hard to figure the mask out. I just hope I can be part of that circle someday.”

****

“You are, right now.” Alex squeezes her hands tightly. A small smile makes its way onto Lena’s features. Slipping her hands out of Alex’s she hands her glass back to the woman.

****

“Now without downing the expensive scotch,” Alex lets out a humored huff, “do you want to talk about Maggie?”

****

Alex takes a deep breath, really thinking about it. “No, maybe another time. Is that’s ok?”

****

“Of course.”

****

“Thanks…” They sit silently for a few moments before Alex grabs her phone, quickly typing something out.

****

“Everything ok?” Lena asks with concern over how fast and focused Alex is typing.

****

“Its great I’m just ordering Pizza.”

****

Lena snorts, “of course you are.” _These Danvers girls and their pizza._

****

***

****

Alex and Lena have moved to the kitchen after retrieving a pizza from the young delivery boy. Alex had gotten serious after Lena questioned the location change. Telling her that pizza isn’t allowed in the living room after a Kara/Supergirl disaster that caused her to have to get a new couch. Lena looks curiously at Alex as a laugh bubbles up and out. She doesn’t even question it.

****

“I actually had a question of my own.” Alex says with a smirk when they finally settle at the table. Lena can sense the teasing shift and sits up straighter in her seat. She just quirks an eyebrow in question waiting for Alex to continue.

****

“Since you are a crazy super fan according to Kara,” Lena just groans and throws her head back, staring up at the ceiling asking why. “I assume you know most of my songs.”

****

“You would be correct on the second part, not the first.” Lena mumbles out. Alex just laughs at that and continues.

****

“Anyways, I was just wondering which of my songs was your favorite?” Lena looks at the woman with suspicion. Alex just innocently eats her pizza slice, and waits for Lena to answer.

****

“Why?”

****

“Well, I never got to do fan meet and greets or anything like that. So besides the charts and internet comments, I never got to hear what songs fans actually liked.” It’s said so earnestly and innocently that Lena looks at her with a soft look. Then blushes.

****

“Oh this has to be good.” Alex says with pure glee at Lena’s blush. Only causing the woman to blush harder.

****

Lena whispears out something so quietly that Alex can’t even hear here. She can only see her lips move.

****

“What?”

****

“Do You Wanna Touch Me.” Lena rushes out, and Alex cackles; honest to rao cackles. Lena’s blush has continued to spread down her long neck towards her chest, and the next statement out of Alex’s mouth is a true testament to the amount of alcohol she’s consumed tonight.

****

“Is that a proposition Ms. Luthor?” It’s said as a smirk stretches across her face. Lena’s mouth drops open and a strangled sound comes out of it. Lena is frozen as memories start to flash through her mind.

****

_____

**_2010_ **

****

_They are only about half way through American Psycho’s set, but Lena is sure this is the best night of her life. Lena and Sam are becoming one with the crowd, screaming their hearts out for every song. American Psycho has had dancers running around every few songs. They usually just run around the stage pumping up the audience; paying little attention to the band. Well that’s about to change._

****

_They can tell the next song is going to be different. Not only has AP put on a headset mic, but there’s only one female dancer. The dancer had come out before the song started. She’s wearing leather short shorts and a fishnet tank top with a black bra underneath. She drapes her arms around AP’s shoulders from behind. Her right hand sitting low on her chest, nearly under her tank top. When the guitar starts, so does she. Running her hands up and down her body, then swinging around to face her._

****

**_We've been here too long_ **

**_Tryin' to get along_ **

**_Pretendin' that you're oh so shy_ **

**_I'm a natural ma'am_ **

**_Doin' all I can_ **

**_My temperature is runnin' high_ **

****

_She drops down into a squat in front of AP. Then slowly gliding her body back up, leaning in close to tease her. They play a game of cat and mouse all around the stage. The girl teasing her with kisses on her cheek and neck while AP tries to catch her._

****

**_Cry at night_ **

**_No one in sight_ **

**_An' we got so much to share_ **

**_Talking's fine_ **

**_If you got the time_ **

**_But I ain't got the time to spare_ **

**_Yeah_ **

****

_You can see her smiling at the dancer all cocky as she starts the chorus. Even giving her guitar a little thrust, which the dancer smiles and laughs at._

****

**_Do you wanna touch (Yeah)_ **

**_Do you wanna touch (Yeah)_ **

**_Do you wanna touch me there, where_ **

**_Do you wanna touch (Yeah)_ **

**_Do you wanna touch (Yeah)_ **

**_Do you wanna touch me there, where_ **

**_There, yeah_ **

**_Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah_ **

****

_AP moves back towards the middle of the stage; coincidentally she has moved closer to the section Lena and Sam are standing in. The former mesmerized by the performance going on in front of her, barely remembering to breathe. The dancer follows her towards the middle, and stands there with her hands on her hips, just out of reach._

****

**_Every girl an' boy_ **

**_Needs a little joy_ **

**_All you do is sit an' stare_ **

**_Beggin' on my knees_ **

****

_AP drops to her knees in front of the woman, inching her way even closer. Lena’s mouth has dropped at the same time, and she doesn’t bother to shut it. AP moves closer until her nose is almost touching the other woman. Lena had been mesmerized the entire time sure, but seeing AP on her knees in front of this woman may be the final straw to break the straight camel's back._

****

**_Baby, won't you please_ **

**_Run your fingers through my hair_ **

****

_The dancer runs her fingers through her hair and grabs on. Pulling her head back to lock eyes with her. Lena is still staring at the scene in front of her and Sam is laughing hysterically at the look on her face. It’s not until the song ends and Sam had pulled Lena into a hug that she finally pulls her eyes away from the rockstar._

**_______ **

****

Lena wills her blush to go away, but Alex hasn’t noticed the internal struggle that Lena seems to be going through. Like her sister she’s too focused on the pizza in front of her to notice much else. At this point the blush has made its way down to her chest, regardless of Lena’s effort to stop it. Lena clears her throat a couple times before finding her voice to speak.

****

“Yes well I know for a fact that Sam’s favorite song is Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea.” Lena says hoping to distract Alex from the blush that is finally, finally, starting to recede.

****

“Ya that was always a popular one. It’s why I eventually started every show with it.” Alex happily munches on her pizza.

****

“That makes sense, but you used to start every show with Gasoline. The song that made you famous. Why didn’t you continue starting with that song?”

****

Alex looks down at her hands, “It was Maggie’s favorite.”

****

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

****

Alex gives her a quick smile and runs her hand through her hair.

****

“You didn’t know.”

****

“You still played it though.”

****

“The fans always wanted to hear it.” Alex shrugs like its nothing. Like she didn’t willingly go through personal pain just to make strangers happy. Lena quickly glances at the clock and finds out exactly how late it is.

****

“I should probably go home before I’m dead on my feet tomorrow. I’ll give you a hand cleaning up and call my driver.”

****

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex waves her away, “I’ve got.”

****

“Are you sure?” Alex nods, “Ok.” She walks Lena to the door, and leans against it.

****

“I’m glad you came over Lena. It felt good to talk about that part of my life with someone.” She smiles at the younger woman.

****

“I’m glad too. I’m always here to talk if you need it.” She puts her hand gently on the woman’s arm.

****

“You just want to satisfy your inner fangirl.” Alex teases, earning a groan. Luckily she’s saved by the ding of her phone letting her know her driver is waiting.

****

“Goodnight Alex.”

****

“Goodnight Lena. Text me when you make it home.” Lena nods and makes her way out of the apartment, the door quietly shutting behind her. Alex just leans against it and takes a deep breath.

****

Clean up is easy, and all too soon she is hopping under the covers. The phone on her night stand buzzes and she glances over. She can see Lena’s name light up, and she opens it quickly.

****

**Lena:** **Made it home safe. Thank you for trusting me with your secrets AP.**

****

**Alex:     I’m glad, and you’re welcome :) Thank you for trusting me with some of yours.**

****

Alex can’t explain it, but she wakes up the next morning at 5 AM with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena is a gay disaster and Alex is clueless. BTW that concert scene may or may not be based on an actual concert. As always I'd love to hear your thoughts. And I apologize beforehand, but there will be many FOB and Halsey songs. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Gasoline - Halsey  
> Do You Wanna Touch Me - Joan Jett


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of Friends Meddling: Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I was trying to make it fluffy and my bad week made it nearly impossible. So I hope you like it. Thank you for all the comments and kudos!
> 
> Also I edited a small part of the last chapter, but nothing major changed.

“So is there a reason for that giant smile on your face at,” checks her watch, “8 AM on a Monday, or should I call the paramedics?” Sam snarks while leaning on the doorframe to Lena’s office. Lena startles out of her phone induced daze and gives Sam an unimpressed look. 

****

“Very funny. And for your information I was only texting a friend.” She says with an even tone, calmly setting the phone face down on top of the desk.

****

“Uh huh” Sam says, disbelief apparent. Lena gives her another unimpressed look, adding the eyebrow raise for a more serious effect.

****

“No I totally believe you. In fact I myself always smile like a love sick idiot whenever my friends text.” Sam easily dodges the paper ball that comes flying at her. “So, who is it?” She asks in a mockingly sweet tone.

****

“Sam it's no one. Just please let it go?”

****

“So someone I know then.” Lena just sighs, closing her eyes momentarily.

****

“Sam.”

****

Sam lets out an exaggerated breath, “Fine, but I will figure it out one way or another.” She finally sits down in front of her desk, which means she is now close enough to hear the music quietly coming from Lena’s computer. “And what are you playing? Is that American Psycho?”

****

Lena quicky, and quite ungracefully, pauses the music; Sam raising an eyebrow at the out of character action. Lena had found herself drawn to the music again after all these years. After Saturday night her and Alex had continued talking, albeit it through text, for the rest of the weekend. 

****

She never would have dreamed she would get the opportunity to learn this much about one of her favorite artists. Sure there’s always articles detailing things about her life, but those are always shallow assumptions and rumours; always missing the depth that is right there if you knew how to look. But you can’t fault them really because they can only look in from the outside. But to be on the inside; to be apart of Alex’s life and hear the stories as seen through her eyes; to hear what the songs meant to her; that is something Lena never expected to witness.

****

“Yes. I felt nostalgic, and decided to play an old playlist.”

****

“Well don’t let me stop you.” When it’s clear Lena isn’t going to press play, Sam reaches around and hits the button for her. “God I haven’t heard American Psycho in years.” She sits back and they both just listen to the song playing softly through the speakers.

****

**I sat alone, in bed till the morning**

**I'm crying, "They're coming for me"**

**And I tried to hold these secrets inside me**

**My mind's like a deadly disease**

****

**I'm bigger than my body**

**I'm colder than this home**

**I'm meaner than my demons**

**I'm bigger than these bones**

****

**And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"**

**I can't help this awful energy**

**God damn right, you should be scared of me**

**Who is in control?**

****

“So it’s your broody playlist then.” Sam says with a knowing tone.

****

“No it’s not.” Lena childishly denies, making her laugh.

****

“I’m aware of you having three AP playlists in your music.” She raises three fingers for emphasis. “Broody, Energetic, and Gay as fuck. If that song’s on the playlist it's definitely the broody playlist.” Lena just crosses her arms huffing, “And i’ll prove it.” Sam hits a button, effectively switching the song before Lena can stop her.

****

**This is gospel for the fallen ones**

**Locked away in permanent slumber**

**Assembling their philosophies**

**From pieces of broken memories**

****

**Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart**

**Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart**

****

**The gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds**

**But they haven’t seen the best of us yet**

****

**If you love me let me go**

**If you love me let me go**

**‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars**

**The fear of falling apart**

**And truth be told, I never was yours**

**The fear, the fear of falling apart**

****

“Broody playlist.” Sam says crossing her arms; matching Lena’s own crossed arms. She reaches over again to hit the next song.

****

**I'm nothing but a low life**

**Thinking about my own life**

**I can't help myself from falling**

**Can't help myself from falling**

****

**I'm nothing but a low life**

**Thinking about my own life**

**I'm trying to fight the good own fight**

**But after it all, I'm still just a low life**

****

“Fine it’s the broody playlist. Happy?” Lena pauses the track..

****

“Yes.” Sam gives her a cheeky smile, observing her for a moment. “You don’t seem all that broody though.” And Sam’s right, she wasn’t broody. The truth, which Sam couldn’t know about, was that this was a new playlist created from all the songs Alex had talked to her about.

****

_____

****

**_Saturday Night_ **

****

_ Alex seems to be unable to stop fidgeting after she finished ordering their pizza. Lena just watches with drunken amusement. _

****

_ “Relax Alex I’m sure the pizza will be here soon.” Lena says with a laugh, earning herself a mock glare from Alex. _

****

_ “I’m not worried about the pizza… It’s just this whole evening has been... surreal.” Lena gives her a confused look. “I’ve never really talked to anyone about my music. Ever. And I don’t know how to feel about having told you all about it.” _

****

_ “Not even Kara?” Lena asks surprised. _

****

_ “No. Half of my music was all… dark and angsty… and I didn’t want to burden her with it. And the other half seemed kind of inappropriate to talk about with my underage sister.” Lena sits there floored thinking about the gravity of this new information. She is the only person Alex has ever talked to about her music; the only one ever trusted with this piece of her; her, a Luthor. Awe and excitement are fighting to be the main emotion she currently feels.  _

****

_ “I don’t know what to say.” _

****

_ “You don’t have to say anything. As painful as some memories are, it honestly feels… freeing.” Alex smiles shyly. “So... if you have another question I’m all ears? If not that’s totally fine too.” Alex shuffles a bit nervously, while Lena debates internally about whether to ask another question or to leave the woman alone. The earnest and open look Alex gives her makes the decision easy. _

****

_ “You said most of your songs were dark and angsty. Would you tell me what some of the songs are about?” _

****

_ “Which songs?” Alex answers without hesitation. She never wants this free feeling to end. _

****

_ “‘This is gospel’?” Lena asks tentatively. _

****

_ “Sure.” Alex’s small smile helps calm any nerves Lena felt at her continued prodding. “Well everyone thinks it’s about some relationship I had before becoming famous.” _

****

_ “It’s not?” Alex just shakes her head. _

****

_ “Not in the way they were thinking. It wasn’t a romantic relationship I sang about, but the relationship I had with my mother. Growing up, especially after Kara came and my dad had passed, she had expectations of what my life should be.” Lena just gives her an empathetic look, full of understanding. _

****

_ “She wanted me to spend my life protecting Kara, who obviously didn’t need my protection, and to follow in her footsteps to become a doctor. When I decided to do something different with my life… let’s just say it didn’t go over well. After signing with Cookie we had one of the worst fights we’ve ever had.” Alex has a slight waver in her voice as all the old emotions find their way to the present, “She said things I never thought she would say to me, and tried to make me feel guilty for leaving school and my family to pursue something I loved.” _

****

_ “If you love me let me go. Cause these words are knives that often leave scars.” Lena murmurs quietly. Alex had gone quiet, seemingly lost in her memories. The quiet tone she used didn’t stop Alex from hearing her.  _

****

_ “But, it’s been a long time since then.” Alex shakes herself out of her emotions. “We’ve still fought since, but our relationship seems to be at the best it’s been in a long time.” Alex smiles thinking about how far her and her mother have truly come. _

****

_ “I’m glad.” Lena says positively, but somewhat envious. She’s never had a real mother-daughter relationship; never felt the positive emotions that Alex is now showing. As if sensing Lena’s thoughts Alex gives her a small, sad, understanding smile. _

****

_ _____ _

****

Lena’s phone dings, momentarily distracting her as she replies. She tries her hardest to squash the smile that wants to spread across her whole face, but only manages to wrangle it into a small smile. 

****

“I can’t imagine what the reasons are for you not being broody.” Sam says sarcastically, as Lena places the phone back on the desk.

****

“So what did you do this weekend?” Lena changes the subject, desperately and drastically. Sam just gives her a look before answering.

****

“Ruby had a soccer game saturday morning. The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful.” Lena’s phone dings, and she tries not to look at it. Her Luthor stubbornness coming out to help aid her in her continued stare down with Sam and with Sam’s eerily similar raised eyebrow. 

****

“So how was your weekend Lena?” Sam says with an over-exaggerated, questioning tone. “Anything happen with this ‘friend’ that your texting?”

****

“Nope,” Lena pops the P. “Uneventful overall.” Lena’s tone overly neutral and not at all believable.

****

“Mmmhmm.” Sam narrows her eyes at her.

****

“I thought you were going to let it go.” Lena’s phone dings again.

****

“Well it somehow keeps popping into my mind.” It dings for a third time. “I wonder why that is?”

****

Lena is staying strong and staring her down, but at the same time slowly attempting to inch her phone closer. Sam, not even missing a beat, quickly slaps her own hand on top of Lena’s, halting her movement. 

****

“That was definitely a dopey love sick smile I walked in on. Which means this person is clearly something special. It’s quite the challenge to make it through the Cold War style bunker you use to protect your heart.” Lena just rolls her eyes at the description Sam gives, but knows she isn’t wrong.

****

“It’s someone I know, or you wouldn’t be trying this hard to hide it. I would have guessed Kara if not for Imra.” Lena looks down for a fraction of a second before resuming eye contact, but it’s too late if the smirk on Sam’s face is anything to go by.

****

“So I’m close then.” Sam hums and taps on her chin with the hand not currently trapping Lena’s. She tips her head up in an exaggerated pose like the heavens will hold all her answers.

****

“If not Kara... “ A slow smirk crosses her face as she lowers her eyeline back to Lena’s slowly pinking cheeks. “Alex.” She chuckles when Lena’s blush gets a deeper shade of red. She smothers the desire to squee like a teenager as she comments, “You have a crush on the older Danvers!”

****

“Eliza is hardly my type,” Lena says sarcastically, causing Sam to roll her eyes at the obvious deflection.

****

“Ha Ha... So?... Alex?” The smile on Sam’s face seems to grow by the second. 

****

“Sam…” Lena says with a barely contained whine.

****

“Now come on. You can’t keep this from me! I’m your best friend! So what did you two do this weekend?” Sam asks with over the top glee.

****

“Nothing.” Lena deadpans.

****

“I don’t believe you.” Sam sing songs in unison to Lena’s groan.

****

“Nothing to warrant the glee in your voice.” Lena amends.

****

“I knew it! You two did hang out this weekend!” 

****

“We had drinks, that’s it! Just as friends!” Lena finally admits, begrudgingly, while rubbing at her temples.

****

“And??”

****

“Drinks. Period.” Sam stares for a moment, studying her, before deciding Lena is telling the truth.

****

“Fine…” Lena lets out a deep breath prematurely. “So when are you seeing her again?”

****

“Sam! We are just friends. It wasn’t a date.” Sam just tilts her head at the slight waver in her friend’s tone. Whether from insecurity or something else Sam isn’t sure.

****

“Make it one.” Sam says decisively, like the statement should be obvious.

****

“What?!”

****

“Why not make it a date next time?” Lena looks at her like she’s grown a second head.

****

“How... Wha… If… I don’t...” Lena just stutters out half sentences, unable to complete any, while simultaneously questioning her genius status.

****

“When you see her next, ask her on a date. What’s the worst that could happen?”

****

“She could hear me!?!” Sam laughs loudly at that, while Lena just tries to find an escape to this conversation.  _ Maybe the world will end again. That would be good timing. _

****

“Lena.” It’s said so softly that it almost makes Lena startle at the change in tone. “You obviously like her. Ah ah!” Sam puts her hand up to stop Lena’s rebuttal of ‘we’re just friends’, “I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at her. Plus I know you. I know when you trust someone with your mind and with your body. But trusting someone with your heart, that’s a level I’ve rarely seen achieved by anyone.”

****

“You and Kara achieved it.” Lena mumbles out half-heartedly.

****

“True, but not quite in the same way as Alex.” Sam just gives her a wink, causing Lena to roll her eyes. 

****

Lena knows Sam’s right about her walls. Very few have penetrated them. The only ones currently being Sam and the Danvers sisters. But she refuses to cave to the idea that there could be anything going on between her and Alex. Stubborn to a fault, just like all the Luthors are prone to be.

****

“It doesn’t matter what your theories are Sam, because Alex and I are just friends; that’s it; nothing more.” Lena says with a slight aggressive quality coloring her otherwise calm tone. Sam just watches her for a moment, not saying a word.

****

“Who are you trying to convince Lena?” Lena’s jaw tenses at the accusation, and she starts to type on her computer, ignoring Sam’s question.

****

“I need to get back to work.” A clear dismissal.

****

“Fine. I’ll talk to you later.” Sam gets up and makes her way out of the office. Lena watches her retreating form, and now finds herself in a brooding mood. Thinking over Sam’s words, she decides to pair her spiralling thoughts with her broody playlist. She laughs sardonically at the irony. It’s quiet for a moment, then the first notes float through the speakers. 

****

**Everybody wants to know**

**If we fucked on the bathroom sink**

**How your hands felt in my hair**

**If we were high on amphetamines**

****

**And everybody wants to hear**

**How we chainsmoked until three**

**And how you laughed when you said my name**

**And how you gripped my hips so mean**

****

**We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night**

**But the ending is the same every damn time, no, no, no**

**We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night**

**But the ending is the same every damn time**

****

**They think I'm insane, they think my lover is strange**

**But I don't have to fucking tell them anything, anything**

**And I'm gonna write it all down, and I'm gonna sing it on stage**

**But I don't have to fucking tell you anything, anything**

****

“I don’t have to tell anyone anything.” Lena mutters out before getting back to work and ignoring her flashing phone.

****

***

****

Sam can’t help but pace around her office thinking about her conversation with Lena. She shakes her head at the woman’s own stubbornness.

****

“The woman refuses to let herself be happy!” Sam says to herself. “Between Alex and her, they are stubborn enough to never admit the truth to themselves let alone each other.” Sam has started making hand gestures at this point in her ranting. Finally she decides that if Lena won’t help herself then Sam will do it for her. But she’s going to need reinforcements. She stops in front of her desk quickly pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialing.

****

“Sam?”

****

“Hey Kara. Are you free to talk?”

****

“Ya I’m just out flying. Free as a bird so to speak.” Kara laughs at her own joke, and Sam can’t help but smile at it. “So what’s up?”

****

“It’s about Lena... and Alex.” Kara hesitates for a moment, wondering if Lena let Alex’s secret slip. Then shakes her head at the stupid thought.

****

“Okay, what about them?”

****

“Well…” Sam decides that being blunt is probably the best course of action with Kara, “I’m quite positive that Lena is harboring a major crush on your sister, and that it isn’t just one sided.” Sam waits for a moment, but doesn’t hear anything but the sound of the wind.   


“Sorry! I dropped the phone.” Sam laughs at the fumbling that can be heard through the line. “Are you sure?”

****

“Well Lena’s blush told me all I needed to know; whether or not she wants to admit it. Also I’ve seen the quite unsubtle glances Alex has sent her when she thought no one was looking. So I’m fairly certain it isn’t one sided. Are you telling me you haven’t noticed the mutual oblivious pinning?” 

****

“Well…”

****

“And the not so subtle full body glances from both of them when the other isn’t looking.”

****

“I… well…”

****

“Although you tend to be just as oblivious as those two so...”

****

“Hey!” Kara squeaks indignantly, “I figured out Imra liked me all by myself!” Sam is making a perfect ‘oh honey’ face, complete with head tilt, on her side of the phone. Even if Kara can’t see it, Sam is sure she can hear it in her tone.

****

“Kara, after months of overt flirting on Imra’s part, she literally walked up and frenched you in the middle of the DEO.” Sam laughs at Kara’s spluttering, “I also distinctly remember Alex yelling ‘finally!’ somewhere behind me.”

****

“Well… I mean yes… but…” Kara huffs at Sam’s continued chuckling. “This isn’t about me. If you are so sure about Lena liking Alex, why not just tell her?”

****

“Oh you don’t think I tried! That woman is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. She’s stuck on the idea of her and Alex as ‘just friends’, and refuses to see that she’s just blinded by her own giant heart eyes!”

****

“Okay...well... what do you want me to do about it?”

****

“I need you to smack some sense into Alex, since Lena is clearly not budging.”

****

“I don’t know Sam.” Kara says with hesitation, “You already made a good point for me not being good at this kind of thing.”

****

“Well, you’re all I got.”

****

“Well, there is another option.” Kara says with the type of glee that usually makes Alex a bit nervous.

****

***

****

“Danvers!” Lucy bellows into the training room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? And I did promise more Halsey.
> 
> Control - Halsey  
> This is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco  
> Low Life - X Ambassadors  
> Strange Love - Halsey


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Friends Meddling: Lucy, Kara, Imra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who commented and left kudos! I worked on this for a few days. I wasn't sure how the pace of the relationship was going to go, but I hope you like it!
> 
> And I'm over 20,000 words whaaat? Which granted isn't a lot but still!

“Danvers!” Lucy bellows into the training room. Alex was the only one in there, so there was no real reason for her to shout. Especially, because she startled Alex causing her to almost drop a 40lbs weight on her foot. Luckily she misses, but she immediately starts cursing the shorter woman out. Lucy pays no mind as she walks over and throws Alex some hand wraps. Alex barely stops them from hitting her in the face, nearly dropping the other weight.

 

“Come on Danvers, time to spar.” Lucy claps her already wrapped hands, and heads to the ring in the middle of the floor. Alex quickly wraps her hands and mirrors the woman’s stance.

 

“So any reason for this impromptu sparring session? Dying to get your ass kicked Lane?” Alex says with a smirk as the two circle each other looking for an opening, which neither will give this early.

 

“In your dream Danvers.” Lucy says back throwing a small jab. “I actually wanted to ask you about something.”

 

“And you couldn’t have just, I don’t know, walked into my office, instead of causing me to almost crush my foot?” Lucy just gives a small shrug.

 

“I wasn’t sure what your reaction to the question would be. Plus you are usually more willing to open up after a good sparring session. Or as I like to call it: a good ass-whooping from Lucy session.” Lucy just gives a cheeky smile at Alex’s unimpressed look.

 

“So out with it then.” They are still circling each other. Neither giving any ground, but a few jabs have been thrown to test the waters.

 

“Well…” Alex groans.The last time Lucy had started a story with ‘well’ she had talked for 20 minutes before even making it in the vicinity of her point. The woman was clearly a lawyer, she loved to talk and argue. It might be the only thing her and Lois have in common.

 

“Oh hush Danvers.” A jab thrown by Lucy, easily dodged by Alex.

 

“I’ve been noticing things about you lately. Interesting things. And then I got a call from Kara today that made those assumptions even more interesting.” Alex throws a couple punches, but doesn’t gain any ground.

 

“So... my question...” Alex and Lucy circle each other; arms stiff and ready to attack. Alex raises her eyebrows in question when Lucy doesn’t continue her thought.

 

“How long have you been in love with Lena Luthor?”

 

“What?!” Alex squeaks out. She’s so startled she drops her hands and quickly finds herself flat on her back. Lucy is straddling her midsection pinning her arms, but Alex doesn’t even try to escape. Her mouth is a gape trying to process not only Lucy’s question but why she’s now looking up towards the ceiling.

 

“I’m not in love with Lena!” Alex says when she finally finds her voice. She managed to lower it back to a normal vocal range. She quickly flips Lucy off of her and they tussle until Alex has pinned Lucy under her.

 

“Ok, maybe not love but you like her.” It wasn’t a question. “Don’t deny it Alex I’ve seen the way you look at her, and I’ve heard the way you talk about her.” Lucy starts to move her body slightly attempting to find the weakness in Alex’s hold.

 

“I don’t know what you think you are seeing, but we are just friends.”

 

“Are you sure about that?” Lucy whips her legs around flipping and repinning Alex. “Are you besties? Gal Pals, doing gal pal things.” Lucy snickers at the irritated look shot her way. “All I’m saying Danvers is I’m not the only one who’s noticed, so maybe there’s more to this than you are willing to admit even to yourself.”

 

“But… I… Shouldn’t I… shouldn’t I know if I have feelings for someone?” Lucy lets out a loud laugh at Alex’s innocent confusion. It was just so genuine that Lucy didn’t know how else to react.

 

“Alex, you and Kara may not be blood, but you are both the most oblivious people I’ve ever met. Especially! When it comes to women.” Alex starts to bristle and opens her mouth to argue that point, so Lucy continues before she can. “Describe me.”

 

“What?”

 

“If you had to describe our friendship, what would you say?”

 

“I don’t know.” Alex tries to wiggle out of Lucy’s hold, to escape this conversation. Lucy just tightens the hold, and gives her a patient look. Alex huffs but stops struggling. “You are a pain in my ass, but one of the only people I trust with not just my life but my sister’s life. I’ve only known you for a short while, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

 

“Aww so sweet Danvers. I always knew that hard armour on the outside was just hiding a mushy center.” Alex gives her a mock glare. “Now describe your “friendship” with Lena.” Lucy let’s go of Alex’s arms to do the quotey fingers, while Alex takes a deep breath. She thinks back to her night with Lena, and starts to get caught up in the memories.

 

_____

**_Saturday Night_ **

 

_“Okay enough sad daughter talk.” Lena says trying to put her smile back together. Alex just gives her an understanding look but doesn’t press._

 

_“Okay, so what else do you want to know?” Lena hesitates slightly . She knows Alex has said her desire to open up, but Lena worries that she is still pushing it. If there was an award for self-conscious insecurity Lena is sure she’d win gold._

 

_“Alex, you would tell me if I ask something you’re uncomfortable with right? You aren’t just agreeing for the sake of my curiosity?”Alex hesitates and it causes Lena to look down shyly._

 

_“Lena, I can’t honestly say that most of this doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” Lena seems to withdraw in on herself, but Alex doesn’t let her. She reaches out to grasp her hand, and Lena looks up at the gesture to see Alex looking intently at her._

 

_“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it with you. Uncomfortable or not.”_

 

_“I get it Alex.” Alex tilts her head not quite understanding. “You want to open up to a friend but you’re stuck with me.” Lena finishes in a self-deprecating tone._

 

_“No. I’m not stuck with you Lena. I’m happy it’s you.” Lena just scoffs, “I’m serious. I feel lucky to have you here, because I trust you with this part of myself. No one else knows about it because I don’t want them to know. I could’ve lied about the guitar but I didn’t because I wanted you to know. I knew I could trust you to not run away from my demons. But more importantly, to stop me from falling back into their open arms.”_

 

_Lena is silent, unsure again what to say. The water gathering in her eyes is enough for Alex to understand. Lena is luckily saved from having to answer by Alex’s Dominos notification. It lets her know that the pizza is finally out for delivery._

 

_“So,” Lena clears her throat, “tell me about ‘Human’.”_

 

_“Well ironically enough I wrote it for Kara.” Alex says with a small smile on her face._

 

_______

 

“Fuck” Alex says with her eyes wide. “When… How…Why didn’t... No one told...me.” Lucy just smiles triumphantly at Alex’s half sentence realizations.. She’s still sitting on Alex’s stomach, trapping her legs. She had already released Alex’s arms, not that she had bothered to move them in her stunned state. They sit like that for but a moment before a throat clearing catches their attention and they turn to the woman who has entered without them noticing.

 

“If you two are done straddling each other, I have something you’ll both want to see.” Vasquez says with a smirk, adding as an afterthought, “Ma’ams.” Lucy starts to laugh hysterically, while Alex just blushes fiercely and pushes the shorter woman off of her. Lucy is quick to her feet thanking Vasquez as she walks out of the training room. Alex starts to compartmentalize her feelings as she makes her way off the floor. Vasquez is still standing at the door when Alex makes her way through it.

 

“Ma’am.”

 

“Agent.”

 

“It’s none of my business… but I think you and Ms. Luthor would make a nice couple.” Alex squeezes her shoulder, thanking her and letting her know that her statement was ok. Alex can’t begin to deal with that emotional rollercoaster, so she keeps it locked tight inside.

 

“So what’s the current threat situation?”

 

***

 

“Alex I’m fine. Imra should be here in a couple hours anyways.” Kara says when they get to her apartment. The fight had ended up being a low level alien threat. Nothing Kara couldn’t handle, but Kara still had a few bruises. Although, if pressed, Alex would admit that the alien wasn’t the only reason she wanted to get her sister alone.

 

“I know, but I want to make sure those bruises heal. Besides I already bought potstickers, but I guess I’ll just take them for myself.” Alex says with a mock sigh.

 

“Don’t you dare!” Kara says with no small amount of alarm. Alex just chuckles and sits on the couch. They banter back and forth until the food arrives a few minutes later. Kara practically running to the door in her excitement.

 

“So I had an interesting talk with Lucy.” Kara had already busted into the food, and had a potsticker halfway to her mouth when she froze.

 

“Yeah? That’s great… I mean I don’t know what you two talked about, but talking to friends is the best. I personally love talking to all my friends. Sam is great, and James is acting like less of a tool so that’s great.” Kara continues to ramble; the potsticker still halfway to her mouth, adding to the ridiculous charade.

 

“Kara.” Alex cuts her off. “I know you talked to Lucy about… me and… Lena.” Kara quickly stuffs the potsticker in her mouth giving her a few seconds to figure out how to respond. Besides she had cast a few longing glances at the piece of food during her ramble.

 

“Is there?” Kara asks after swallowing, already reaching for the next potsticker.

 

“Is there what?’

 

“A you and Lena?” Kara asks thoughtfully. How on earth she goes from flustered to thoughtful that fast Alex will never know. Superspeed; it’s probably superspeed.

 

“No.” Kara squints, scrutinizing her sister.

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“Kara.” Alex whines, not unlike Lena’s just hours before.

 

“Alex.” Kara mock whines, making Alex glare at her.

 

“There isn’t a me and Lena.”

 

“But you want there to be.” It isn’t a question and Alex isn’t sure how to answer. Probably because any answer would give the truth away, and Alex isn’t sure if she’s ready for the truth.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” She finally settles on, looking down to her fingers which have started pulling at the bottom of her sweater. “Lucy, as irritating as she is, helped me see some stuff in a new light.”

 

Kara sets her hand on Alex’s leg in comfort.”Which reminds me…” Alex quickly looks up and points an accusing finger at Kara. “Why didn’t you talk to me yourself if you thought I had a crush on Lena? Why involve Lucy at all?”

 

“Well…” Kara says with a breathy squeak, lifting her hands up in surrender. “I just figured that if you knew and didn’t want to talk about it, then Lucy would be able to get it out of you. She could also knock some sense into you if you hadn’t figured it out yet.”

 

“I’m not that clueless Kara. I know when I have feelings for someone without having to be told.” Alex lies, but her blush gives her away. As if Kara didn’t already know how clueless her sister could be. Unlike herself of course.

 

“It’s ok Alex. I had to be told about your crush too. Sometimes things right in front of us can be the hardest to see.”

 

“What?”

 

“What what?” Kara asks innocently confused.

 

“What do you mean you had to be told.” Kara just blinks at her sister. “Kara… Lucy said you called her, so who told you?”

 

“What?” Her voice once again becoming high and squeaky. “No one told me. I’m very aware of things and people and people’s things around me.”

 

“This coming from the woman who couldn’t see Imra was flirting with her, when there was aliens galaxies away who could see it.” Kara just huffs in annoyance for the second time that day.

 

“Kara.” Alex says in warning. Kara stutters around her words until she is silenced by Alex’s eyebrow raise.

 

“Sam.” It’s mumbled out around a potsticker.

 

“What!? Sam knows too!” Alex starts panicking. She jumps off the couch and starts pacing around. She nearly knocks over the potstickers much to Kara’s horror. “She’s Lena’s best friend! What if she tells her about this?! I’m not even sure myself how I feel!”

 

“Alex calm down, Sam isn’t going to tell Lena. Apparently Lena is just as clueless about her own feelings.” That stops Alex short. She turns slowly to eye her sister.

 

“What do you mean… Lena’s feelings?”

 

“Oh Rao.” Kara groans and wonders how she ever kept her secret a secret as long as she did. If this conversation is any indication her secret should have been in every newspaper by now.

 

“What do you mean…”

 

“Ok!” Kara cuts her off, flailing her hands. “Sam may have mentioned the feelings being mutual, but don’t tell anyone I told you!” Kara nervously shoves multiple potstickers into her mouth. Alex, ignoring her, has slowly sat back down. She stares off into space and starts to analyze every interaction she’s had with the CEO.

 

_____

**_Saturday Night_ **

 

_“So you’ve written about your family and Maggie. What about yourself?”_

 

_“I don’t know what you mean. They’re all about me.” Alex looks like a confused puppy, head tilt and all. She is the German Shepherd to Kara’s Golden Retriever, and once again Lena is reminded about the similarities the adoptive sisters share. She gives Alex a look she’s never seen on the CEO’s face, and she can’t quite place the emotions; delight and adoration._

 

_“I just mean all the songs we’ve talked about are about your relationship with someone else. But what about just you. Not American Psycho, but you Alex Danvers.” The question is somewhat difficult for Alex. She’s spent most of her musical career pushing the American Psycho side of herself. The side everyone wanted, but here’s a woman who wants all sides of her._

 

_“Control” Alex says after some careful consideration. “It was never a very popular song, but I always had an attachment to it. Do you know it?” Lena just nods her head wanting Alex to continue uninterrupted. “It was mostly about how I felt growing up. I don’t know how much Kara has talked about our childhood, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.” Alex’s attempt at humor falls flat, and she starts to play with the glass still in her hand._

 

_“When Kara first came, I was angry. I was angry at having to share everything. I was angry that my life was no longer just about me. I was a selfish teenager, and my anger reflected that. Then we went flying for the first and only time. We were just kids having fun, and it had felt so freeing at the time.” Alex just shakes her head with a humorless laugh and takes a long sip of her drink._

 

_“You were spotted.” Lena guessed when Alex hadn’t continued. She nodded her head slowly in confirmation; although, confirmation wasn’t needed._

 

_“The government came that night. They didn’t take Kara though, instead they took my father. We were told that he worked for them now; aiding them in the capture of aliens. When he never came back they told us he died in the line of duty, but I never believed it. I thought they had killed him.” Lena remembers Kara talking about getting Jeremiah back, but never knew the circumstances of his disappearance. Alex takes a deep breath and lets it out harshly._

 

_“Well not everything in the song is literal, obviously. But there’s a lot about how I felt during that time. The feelings of fear that would spread throughout my body like a disease. I was terrified that they would come back for all of us, so I barely slept for months afterwards. Plagued by nightmares of shadow men and demons. Of course Kara was dealing with her own nightmares, but in the early hours of the day we found comfort in each other. Those sleepless nights are probably what brought us together in the first place.” Alex smiles thinking about her sister._

 

_“You wouldn’t know it now, not with Kara being a literal ray of sun, but she has demons that plague her thoughts. We both do. The difference was always how we dealt with them. Kara chose light and happiness. Me, well I chose to steer directly into them. Fight them on their own plane and see who won. Those demons are what turned me into American Psycho, but they also made me, Alex, who I am.”_

 

_____

 

It takes Kara four calls of her name to get Alex to finally look over at her. She has a concerned look on her face, while Alex’s still seems to be lost in the depths of her mind. A knock on the door interrupts them, and Kara lowers her glasses to check who it is. She sees her girlfriend on the other side and quickly walks over to the door opening it.

 

“Imra!” She says with as much enthusiasm her concerned brain can muster. Imra leans in and gives her a slow, but still somewhat chaste kiss. She does a quick scan of her body finding her superhero intact.

 

“I’m glad to see physically you’re fine, but what’s wrong?”

 

“What? Nothing’s wrong.” Kara starts to nervously fidget with her glasses.

 

“Baby, you forget that I’m an empath. I could feel your anxious energy from blocks away.” Imra just gives her a sweet smile and takes her hand. Kara uses the hand hold to pull Imra into her; tucking her face into the shorter woman’s neck. She takes a few deep breaths in the comfort of her girlfriend’s arms before she pulls back. Giving her one last chaste kiss she pulls her over to where Alex is still sitting staring off into the distance.

 

“Alex.” Imra says softly. Kara had moved back to the couch next to Alex and Imra was across perched on the coffee table. Alex startles slightly like she hadn’t even noticed they were both there.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were here Imra. How… how long have you been here?” Alex starts to wonder how long she had been in the rabbit hole of her mind and quickly glances to her watch.

 

“I just got here… Are you okay?”

 

“I’m great.”

 

“You Danvers sisters both seem to forget I’m an empath.” Imra chuckles lightly, while Alex sighs.

 

“Where did you go Alex?” Kara asks. Alex looks hesitant at Imra, but decides her emotional wave has probably given everything away to the other woman anyways.

 

“I was thinking about what you said about Lena. Her “feelings” for me.” Alex does half-hearted self-deprecating air quotes. “And I got lost in my memories.”

 

“Don’t give me quotey fingers. Any woman would be lucky to have you Alex. Plus, Sam seemed pretty confident about Lena’s feelings for you. But Alex none of that matters if you don’t like Lena back. So? Do you? Like Lena?” Kara asks reaching out to place a comforting hand on her sisters leg. Alex had asked that over and over to herself. She realized that the question had been circulating her mind long before Lucy’s attempt to beat it out of her. Even at a subconscious level her eyes had always been drawn to Lena, and her mind had followed. It was just a matter of time that her heart followed as well.

 

“I think so.” Kara started to squee, but quickly stopped herself.

 

“Wait Alex. You can’t think so. You have to know so. Lena’s trust has been broken so many times. You can’t risk her heart on I think so.”

 

“Well,” Alex throws her hands up. “That’s the best I can do Kara. Feelings are hard, so I don’t know past I think so!”

 

“But Alex!” Kara starts but Imra puts her hands up blocking the sisters from her place on the coffee table.

 

“Alex,” Imra says in a calm soothing tone. _Damn, I see why Kara gets so wrapped up in her voice. It's like a warm hug._ “Your head might not know how it feels, but your heart does. I know because I can feel it coming off of you everytime someone mentions Lena.” Imra smiles, “Like right then. The energy coming off of you is warm and light and happy. Deep down you know how you feel.”

 

Alex pauses for a moment before she stands up and grabs her coat.

 

“Alex where are you going?” Kara asks before Alex makes it to the door. Alex looks back and smiles.

 

“I’m going to tell Lena how I feel.”

 

***

 

The fact that it’s almost 10 PM doesn’t really register to Alex. Not like Lena wouldn’t still be up. She flashed her badge at the building security guard and was easily let up. She knocks on the door quickly before she loses the nerve. It’s only takes a few moments before Lena opens the door in a black silk robe. Security must have messaged her on Alex’s way up.

 

“When security said FBI was here, you weren’t what I was expecting. Come in.” Lena waves her into the penthouse apartment. “You know you’re on my friend list. You didn’t have to flash your badge.”

 

“Oh.” Alex takes in the penthouse. It’s perfectly furnished in the latest styles, but has no touch of home anywhere in it, save for one picture of Lena and Kara together. “I’m on the friend list?”

 

“Well it’s a rather short list. Could fit it on a post-it note really.” Lena says with a self-deprecating laugh.

 

“I guess that’s actually why I’m here.”

 

“Okay?” Lena just waits for Alex to speak. The other woman has started to nervously run her hand through her short hair.

 

“I don’t want to be friends.” Alex blurts. Lena’s face falls and she crosses her arms protectively in front of her. “Wait! No! That’s not what I meant… I just… I.” Alex huffs out a flustered breath. “I don’t want to be JUST friends, is what I meant.”

 

“I don’t understand Alex.” Lena says with caution in her voice. Her arms still crossed as a protective barrier.

 

“I like you Lena, as… more than a friend.” Lena still hasn’t lowered her arms, and has constructed a neutral look on her face. But she hasn’t told Alex to get the hell out, so she continues.

 

“It took Lucy beating it out of me, and a talk with Kara and Imra, but there it is. I finally understand what my feelings are, even if it scares me a little.” Alex starts to get closer to her, but doesn’t reach out quite yet. She stuffs her hands into her jean pockets self-consciously, and shuffles her feet a bit. Finally she forces herself to blurt out the question that led her here tonight.

 

“So will you go out on date with me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? What will Lena's reaction be? Don't worry if you want more Lucy meddling it will definitely happen, and I'm sure Vasquez will help.
> 
> Human - Rag 'N' Bone Man  
> Control - Halsey


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Lena's past, plus Alex get's an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for anyone still with me and all the kudos and comments. I love reading them, they make me so happy. Anyways a few trigger warnings for this chapter.
> 
> TW: homophobia, internalized homophobia, self-hatred
> 
> It's not very aggressive, but it is definitely there.

**2008**

**Luthor Estate**

**Metropolis**

 

***

 

“Lex!” Lena goes running across the room practically leaping into the arms of her big brother. Lena can tell that he’s lost weight since taking over the company a year ago. Her arms can easily fit around his once broad chest, and his cheeks have begun to sink into his face. Lena is worried, but doesn’t know how to express it to the man she’s spent her whole life looking up to.

 

“I can’t believe you made it!” Lena says excitedly after releasing Lex, who had just barely caught her in the koala hug.

 

“Did you really think I was going to miss seeing my little sister off to college?” He says with a proud smile, but the twinkle in his eyes isn’t as prominent anymore. It’s as if a shadow has started to loom over them; blocking the light that used to shine in his eyes.

 

The two of them spend the next couple hours catching up and packing things away for Lena to take with her to MIT. There wasn’t a lot to pack since most had already been packed by the hired staff. Mostly it was just small mementos that Lena wanted to hang on to. Little packing actually gets done, because her and Lex spend most of their time talking about Luthor Corps newest inventions. There are so many new products that show promise, and Lena is excited at finally being able to talk to Lex about them. However, they are interrupted by a slamming door and shouts coming from the first level of the house. A quick glance to each other and they both make their way to the stairs to see what the commotion is.

 

“Get Out! You are fired! And if you refuse to leave on your own, I will call security to take you off the premises.” Lillian is standing over a small man with short dark hair. She’s shouting while motioning towards the exit, while the man seems to be trying to plead with the her. He seems to be getting nowhere and Lillian is getting more worked up. Well worked up as far as Lillian standards go; cool and calm, but vicious. Lena and Lex have paused at the top of the stairs watching the situation unfold.

 

“Please Mrs. Luthor.” The man pleads. “You can’t just fire me. I’ve worked for your family for 13 years. No one knows more about the estate then I do.”

 

“I don’t care. Take your filth and get away from me and my family.” Lillian snaps harshly and starts to push into the smaller man’s space, forcing him to take a step back.

 

“Mother, what seems to be the problem.” Lex calmly walks down the steps and all eyes turn to him.

 

“This man has broken the indecency clause of his contract, which voids his employment immediately.” The man in question starts to open his mouth to refute it, but Lex just lifts his hand stopping him.

 

“What has he done?” Lillian’s mouth snarls up into disgust.

 

“I was told by another staff member that he engages in homosexual behavior. He was caught kissing another man, and that kind of filth should never be associated with the Luthor name.” She spits it out like a poison; a wretched and foul air follows her words. Lena’s eyes have widen and she starts to pale. Her breathe held as she waits to see what Lex will do.

 

“Is homosexuality listed under indecency in the contract Mother?” Lex asks without emotion or hesitation; just business. He doesn’t comment on his mother’s opinions or the other man’s defensive statements.

 

“Yes.” She says smugly while crossing her arms.

 

“Well then Mr. Hugli. You are terminated immediately.” Lex spins on his heels leaving a sputtering man behind him. Not two seconds later he is grabbed by security and thrown off the property. Lena follows Lex back upstairs in a mix of shock and fear. Fear for what exactly she isn’t sure, but she can feel the fear swirling in her gut. When they make it back to the room Lex continues like they hadn’t even been interrupted. He picks up a small robot and looks intently at it. Lena hasn’t said a word, just stares at Lex. He doesn’t look up, but can feel her eyes on him.

 

“It’s just business Lena.”

 

_____

 

**2009**

**Lena’s Apartment**  

**Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

***

 

“I just don’t understand why they would put themselves out there like that. For everyone to see!” Lena is already 3 glasses of wine in and Sam is looking at her curiously. They had been discussing everything from technology to musicals to now talking about the schools golden couple: Julie and Hanna.

 

“Because they are in love? What’s so wrong with that?” Sam asks with an air of curiosity, but an underlying tone of concern. Not so much a concern for whether Lena is homophobic, but a concern for how deep her self-hatred goes. Sam has seen whispers of it, but never the full extent.

 

“But it’s dangerous! They should know better than that. They should be smart enough to know the right way to act. If the wrong person had seen them…” Lena stutters to a stop looking intently at the red wine in her glass. She anxiously swirls it around, and wonders why she cares so much. Why seeing them together makes her heart ache with some emotion she can’t identify, but fears that its envy.

 

“Then what? What could happen?” Sam asks softly.

 

“Then they could lose everything they worked for.” Lena says in a small voice. Sam had wondered for a while where Lena falls on the queer spectrum. She had only seen the girl associate herself romantically with men, but that didn’t rule out other possibilities. Sam was fairly certain Lena fell at the least in the middle if not further to the other side.

 

Sam has know plenty of closeted people who try so hard to convince themselves and everyone else that they are straight. People who act just like Lena when faced with an unapologetically queer couple. A couple that forces them to be uncomfortable with who they falsely project themselves as.

 

“Is that what you fear?” Lena snaps her eyes up to Sam, and if she had been more sober she would have masked her emotions better. Instead, the fear, the longing, the self-hatred are all on the surface level. Sam reaches out to touch her, but Lena quickly pulls her arm out of reach.

 

“I don’t know what you mean?” Lena attempts to say calmly, but the hitch in her voice gives her away. Sam gives her another soft look. It causes Lena to quickly look away; in shame or fear, Sam is unsure.

 

“Lena…” Lena just shakes her head as tears gather in her eyes. “It’s okay if you are?”

“If I am what?” Lena snaps, a tear escapes down her cheek. “I’m not anything I’m not supposed to be Sam.” She quickly wipes at her cheeks and takes a deep breathe. She gets up to get them another bottle of wine, and Sam watches her go. By the time she’s come back she’s reestablished her walls, and Sam knows she won’t get anything out of her tonight. She never stops trying though.

 

_____

 

**2010**

**Starbucks**

**Cambridge, Massachusetts**

 

***

 

Sam slams down two tickets on Lena’s table causing the other woman to nearly spill her coffee all over her lap. She looks up in annoyance and confusion. The other woman is just smiling widely at her, unaware, or uncaring, that she nearly burned Lena’s lap with hot coffee.

 

“Guess what I got?!”

 

“I’m guessing tickets to something.” Lena snarks.

 

“Not just something! American Psycho! Fourth row! And I’m taking you!” Lena smiles at her friends enthusiasm. Sam had just recently introduced her to the singer, and so far Lena was enjoying the music. It sparked something in her that was buried deep down. Something that she wasn’t ready to admit yet, but that she had started getting comfortable with. It helped that Sam was overly supportive of her, even if Lena hadn’t told her anything specific.

 

“How did you manage that?” Lena asks curiously. Sam had been so bummed when she couldn’t score tickets.

 

“Well you know my old roommate? The Army girl?” Lena just nods. “Well she had bought tickets and then found out she has to be on base that weekend, so she offered me tickets at a good price! Only $400!” Sam has picked up the tickets and waves them around like Lena hadn’t seen them before. Lena grabs them from her and looks them over.

 

“Sam these are for the concert in Metropolis, not Boston!” Sam just waves her off, like traveling 1500 miles and paying $400 for one concert is no big deal.

 

“Just think of it this way, if it was here we would have to wait a month. This way we will get to see her sooner! The concert is next week!”

 

“Next week?!” Lena looks down in surprise at the tickets. “How are we going to get there? And what are you going to do with Ruby?”

 

“Obviously we will fly. And Ruby is going to stay with Annabelle like she has on the weekends I’ve had to work.”

 

“Speaking of work... and money, I’m paying for the flights and hotel.” Sam starts to protest. “Nope. You paid for the tickets and I’m paying for everything else. No argument Arias.” Lena stops her arguments before she can even make them.

 

“Fine. Only because I know you are going to love it Lena!” Sam is practically shouting, but quiets her voice for what she says next. “They’re your people Lena. And they aren’t afraid to be proud about it, just like you should be.”

 

Lena just blinks a couple times trying to follow how the conversation managed to shift so quickly. She gives Sam a small smile and nod. Her and Sam have had many discussions around sexuality; mostly about their peers, but about themselves as well. In those many, many conversations Lena has never admitted what she knows deep down to be the truth. It was always something she danced around, never saying the words stuck in her throat. It never mattered though because Sam could always see the truth without Lena needing to say it. It was that skill and many others that made Lena appreciated Sam so much. Not only did she give her unwavering support, but she never pushed her to say the words that had been stuck on her tongue. The words that Lena feared; words that when said could never be taken back.

 

_____

  


**2012**

**Lena Luthor’s Penthouse Apartment**

**Metropolis**

 

***

 

“Lex!” Lena opens the door after the second knock to see her brother standing there. She assumes this man in front of her is her brother. He looks more like the broken shell of the man he used to be; the man she remembers him to be.

 

“Happy Birthday little sister.” He says stepping into the apartment with a case in his hand. He looks around the living room he’d never seen before. It's covered with different pieces of technology as well as papers on every surface.

 

“You remembered?” Lena says with surprise. They may live in the same city, but they are no longer close. Not how they used to be all those years ago. She’s surprised that Lex not only remembered her birthday, but took time out of his life to come see her. Last year she got a text at 2 AM the day after her birthday, and the year before she got a card in the mail a week later. It’s not like she’s ever celebrated her birthday; not really. The Luthors always did a formal celebration for every birthday, but it was all for show.

 

“Of course I remembered.” They stand in awkward silence. Lena trying to subtly check over her brother, and Lex attempting to do the same. “I got you something.” He lifts the case in his hands, setting it on the coffee table nearly knocking some gadget off.

 

“Ah careful!” Lena grabs the gadget and sets it off to the side. She looks back to the case in front of her, and at Lex standing there with a smile on his face. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes though; they never do anymore.

 

“Open it.” He encourages. Lena gives him a small smile and crouches down in front of the case. She makes quick work of the latches, and the case creaks while she opens it. A gasp leaves her throat as she looks between Lex and the newly revealed guitar.

 

“How did you get this?!” Lena says with childlike excitement.

 

“You’d never believe me if I told you.” Lena jumps up and hugs her brother, while he laughs. For a moment, it feels like how it used to. The man standing in front of her gets replaced with the sweet boy she used to know. However, it's a fantasy that is easily broken. She steps back, releasing her hold on Lex. As her arms leave, so does the ghost of who she used to know.

 

“Thank you Lex. You don’t know what this means to me.” He stands there for a few moments looking her over and the apartment over, before looking back to her. A thoughtful expression has crossed his face, and it’s genuineness throws Lena.

 

“We aren’t close Lena. Not like we used to be, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know you.” He sets a hand on her shoulder, looking intently into her eyes. “I know what this singer has represented for you. The community you found with them.” Lena starts to pale and holds her breathe. She has feared this moment; the moment her family finds out. She tried her hardest to prevent it, but now that it’s here she feels frozen in place.

 

“I’m glad you found a place you belong; where people accept you.” A ghost of a smile, then he turns and leaves her standing there shocked. The words she never let herself hope for hit her harder than any anger or disgust would have. A small smile makes its way onto her face long after he’s left. _Maybe the Lex I knew is still there._

 

**Two Months Later**

 

**Lex Luthor Slaughters Hundreds in Attempt to Murder the Man Of Steel**

 

_____

 

**2019**

 

**Lena Luthor’s Penthouse**

 

**National City**

 

“So will you go out on a date with me?” It’s a simple question, with a simple answer. Yet Lena can’t seem to get anything out. Alex has put her heart on the line, and Lena is still as a statue. Her entire life seems to have flashed before her eyes. Every doubt, every good moment, every interaction with Alex; it all scrolls through her brain like the credits at the end of a movie. She must stand there silent for too long because by the time she has come back to the present Alex is fidgeting intensely.

 

“Alex…” Lena finally pushes out.

 

“You know what, nevermind. It was stupid. Just forget I said anything.” Alex attempts to back track, her words becoming a ramble of self-doubt. Lena can’t seem to stop her, but can hear a voice in her head that sounds irritatingly like Sam screaming “just say yes you idiot!” Lena decides enough is enough. She’s tired of not living her life fully. Tired of being afraid what others might think. So she makes a decision and can practically see Sam dancing in her mind. However, Alex has rambled herself towards the door before Lena could find her voice.

 

“YES!” She screams, and blushes at the volume. Alex just stands at the door blinking, unable to comprehend what the word means. She manages to shut the door, but still hasn’t let go of the door knob. Lena continues at a more respectable volume.

 

“Yes Alex. I’d love to go out with you.”

 

“Really?” Alex asks with the most earnest hope Lena’s ever seen. Kara may be the beaming symbol of hope, but she gets it from Alex; no matter how hard Alex tries to hide it.

 

“Yes.” Lena smiles shyly, and is rewarded with a bright, face spreading smile from Alex.

 

“Tomorrow at 8? I’ll pick you up?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.” Alex starts to walk backwards towards the door, still smiling. “I’ll see you then.” She walks into the door forgetting she closed it. She laughs awkwardly while opening the door, causing Lena to giggle at her. “Okay bye.”

 

“Bye Alex.”

 

After the door is firmly shut, Lena rushes to grab her phone.

 

“Lena? You better be dying.” Sam answers sleepily.

 

“She asked me out!” That’s all it takes to fully wake Sam, and her bedsheets can be heard rustling.

 

“Way to go Alex. Okay…” Lena can hear what sounds like a wine bottle being uncorked. “tell me everything.”

 

“Did you have a wine bottle in your bedside table?” Lena asks laughing.

 

“Not important Lena.” She says with a sassy tone. “What happened tonight with Alex??” Sam asks impatiently. Lena smiles in childlike glee for the first time since Lex handed her that guitar 7 years ago.

 

“Well it started with me getting a call from security that an FBI agent was here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?? I've always thought that Lena and Lex probably had a good relationship before he went crazy, and my heart breaks for Lena when I think about it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date and the freak out before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo. Thank you for all the comments and kudos. No trigger warnings, but this chapter is very long. Which means I hit over 30,000 words, self-five.

Alex was panicking. No scratch that she was at panic 30 minutes ago. Now, she was at full on freaking out. She was pacing her office, wondering why she didn’t choose the bigger office when she kept having to turn every few steps. She’s about to make her 6th loop when her door opens.

****

“Danvers? What the hell are you doing?” Lucy asks taking in the other woman with crossed arms.

****

“Panicking! Can’t you tell?!” Alex hasn’t stopped pacing and is about to make her 7th loop.

****

“I can see that, but why exactly are you panicking?”

****

“Because…” Alex flounders around, “You were right.” Alex stopped pacing and looked up to see Lucy looking smug.

****

“It feels good to hear that, and remember I usually am.” Alex rolls her eyes. “But what specifically am I right about?”

****

“Lena…” Alex looks down shyly. “I do… like her...and she likes me back.”

****

“That’s great Alex!” Lucy says genuinely happy for her friend and claps her on the shoulder.

****

“Yeah…yeah it is great.” Alex brightens thinking about Lena, but quickly gets sucked back into her panic. “But we are supposed to have our first date tonight at 8, which is in…” checks her watch, “6 hours, and I don’t know what the hell to do!”

****

Lucy can hardly hold in her laughter at the comical look on Alex’s face. Alex has started pacing around the office again going for her 8th lap. She’s added frantic hand gestures and rambling this time around.

****

“I mean the woman can buy herself anything! How do you impress a woman who can have anything at the snap of her fingers?! Do I bring her into a spaceship?! Do I bring her to a milkshake bar on a shooting star?!”

****

“Wait, is that actually a thing?” Lucy asks half sarcastic, half curious. Alex just waves her off with a ‘not important’. Lucy makes a note to ask Kara or Imra later.

****

“Alex slow down.” She reaches out to grab the woman from her 9th loop of the office. “You are going about this all wrong.”

****

“What do you mean?” Alex looks like a lost puppy trying to figure out a trick. 

****

“Alex you will never be able to impress Lena...”

****

“Geez thanks Lucy.” Alex huffs out her frustration.

****

“I wasn’t finished smartass.” Alex just waves her hands in a ‘continue’ motion. “As I was saying. You will never be able to impress Lena WITH money or fancy restaurants, because she grew up with all of that. She doesn’t care about it. You will impress her by knowing what she does care about. I’m not an expert on her, this is more of a Kara situation, but I do know this. She cares about helping people and being around those she cares about. And one of those people she cares about is you Alex. You need to stop panicking and just be your soft mushy self to impress her.”

****

“I am not soft and mushy.” Alex grumbles.

****

“Really. That beautiful speech and all you got was that I called you out on your soft and mushyness.” Alex shoves Lucy’s shoulder, making the shorter woman laugh.

****

“I hear what you are saying. The perfect date is not about where we go, but about us being together.”

****

“There you go Danvers. I knew you’d get it! Gold star!” Lucy says with fake cheer, and hand gestures.

****

“How do you go from helpful to a dick that fast Lane?”

****

“It’s a gift.” Lucy shrugs her arms out. “Now where the hell is Kara or Imra?” She claps her hands together in seriousness.

****

“Why?” Alex asks concerned. She didn’t hear any alarms going off.  _ Did I miss an alien situation during my panicking? Is that why Lucy was here to begin with? _

****

“Because… I need to know if that milkshake bar is a real thing. It’s an ice cream emergency!” Lucy says with a laugh at Alex’s exasperated face.

****

“Oh my god. And here I thought there was an actual emergency.” Alex is exasperated with Lucy, but secretly glad there wasn’t an emergency. She didn’t think she had the mental space to deal with that on top of the looming date. “I think Imra is in the training room, but I’d knock if I were you.” Alex grimaces thinking about the one and only time she didn’t knock.

****

“As Kara’s sister you should know that an ice cream emergency always counts as an actual emergency.” Lucy mocks as she makes her way out the door. “And let me know if you need me to get your head out of your ass again!” The paper ball doesn’t hit her.

****

***

****

“Lena? Hellooooo?” Kara waves her hand in front of her friend, trying to capture her attention. She had come over for the weekly lunch, armed with burgers and some green stuff masquerading as food; Lena likes to pretend it’s food, but Kara knows better. They had decided to settle themselves on Lena’s couch and eat. A discussion about Lena’s latest project, off the record of course, had just started when her phone pinged with a message. Now Kara was trying to get Lena’s attention back from where it is currently transfixed on her phone. Kara would be irritated if not for the dopey smile on the woman’s face.

****

“Oh Kara! Sorry I was just answering Alex.” Lena says with a slight blush.

****

“Mmmmhmmm.” Kara smiles all giddy, not helping Lena’s blush. “So where is she taking you on your date tonight?”

****

“I don’t know!  All she said was wear jeans and boots! Kara I don’t own jeans!” Kara laughs at Lena’s panicked yet serious expression. Clearly the jeans will make or break the success of this new relationship. “I’m so nervous and not knowing where we are going is making me more nervous. What if I do something stupid and she changes her mind? What if she realizes my family name and celebrity is too much? What if...”

****

“Lena. Lena, breathe.” The other woman takes a deep breathe and nods. “Good. Now, three things. First of all, Alex is used to the limelight. Famous rockstar remember? It’s been a while, but she isn’t a stranger to flashing cameras and paparazzi.”

****

“Yes, but that was while wearing a mask and being anonymous. If she’s seen with me, it will be as Alex Danvers, not American Psycho.” Lena worries, and curses, not for the first time the infamy of her last name.

****

“Which leads me to my next point.” Pausing for dramatic effect, Lena looks intently at the other woman. “Alex likes you Lena. A lot. She wouldn’t have told you all about AP if she didn’t. She isn’t going to run away because of your name, or your celebrity, or if you do something stupid. Hell I do more stupid stuff than you all the time and Imra still loves me.” Kara gives her what she hopes is a reassuring smile. Lena takes a deep breathe calming her racing heart.  _ Kara is right. Everything will be fine. You are worrying for nothing.  _

****

“What’s the final point?” Lena asks, but then almost regrets it when Kara gets this huge smile on her face, practically bouncing in her seat. She runs over to Lena’s desk and dials a number. Lena looks over bewildered, but doesn’t bother stopping her.

****

“Need you in Lena’s office right away. Oh! Bring your purse and coat!” Kara says before hanging up. Kara runs back to the couch and inhales her two burgers before Lena has a chance to ask about the phone call. About five minutes later Sam walks into the office with a confused and worried look on her face.

****

“Lena get your coat.” Kara tell her, but throws the aforementioned coat at the woman before she even has a chance to get up.

****

“Someone going to tell me what’s going on?” Sam asks, and Lena just shrugs.

****

“Lena doesn’t own jeans.” Kara deadpans like that is the most obvious answer. She’s working on getting her own coat on, while calling Lena’s car around.

****

“Yeah, that answered the question just fine.” Sam says sarcastically. “Lena?”

****

“It’s true, I don’t own jeans.” Lena says with a straight face, besides the slight twitch of her lips. Sam pinches the bridge of her nose.

****

“Helpful.” Lena starts laughing at the woman who has started rubbing her temples to rid herself of the headache that threatens to form.

****

“Alex asked her to wear jeans tonight for their date, so we need to go shopping!”

****

“Well why didn’t you just say that.” Sam is practically out the door. “Come on then! I still have work to finish when we’re done.”

****

***

****

“Kara, I just need the one pair.” Lena says after Kara has added two more jeans to her pile of six..

****

“Yes, but you need options to try on.”

****

“I know what my size is Kara. I don’t need to try them on to know if they fit me.” Sam and Kara both stop and turn slowly to look at her. “What?” She asks a little self-conscious. Kara and Sam share a look before Sam speaks up.

****

“Lena. Have you ever gone clothes shopping?” Lena opens her mouth to speak, but is interrupted. “In a store I mean. Where you try them on and show your friends?” Lena shuffles a bit awkwardly like she’s a foreigner missing a piece of the culture.

****

“No.” She looks down picking at her fingers. “That would have required friends; which up until you Sam, I was lacking completely.” Lena looks up and juts her chin out trying not to dwell on the past.

****

“Well I’m sorry we didn’t do this before now, but you must try on all the jeans.” Lena starts to splutter in protest. “No. No. You need to know how they look, because let me tell you.” Sam raises her finger for dramatic effect. “Jeans have a magical effect on your ass.” Kara laughs behind her and Sam turns to face her. “It’s true! Trust me Lena.” Lena looks like she’s trying to hold in a laugh at Sam’s serious face. “They have the power to make your ass look terrible or incredible. Just depends on the jeans. Which is why…”

****

“Okay!” Lena puts her hands up in surrender. “You win I’ll try the 8 pairs on!”

****

“It’s actually 10 now.” Kara buts in handing her the jeans, while Lena gives her a look. “What? I found a new section.” 

****

Lena makes her way into the dressing room. Really it’s more like a suite with a couch and everything. She puts on the first pair. A darker shade, but not black.They flare a bit at the bottom. She thinks they look fine in front, but Sam was right about the butt. The pockets are off, and it throws the whole thing off. She knows this isn’t the pair, but they will want to see it anyways. She makes her way out of the room, and sees Sam and Kara waiting patiently.

****

“Ooo, those are cute.” Kara says excitedly. Sam looks them over with a scrutinising eye, but doesn’t find anything wrong with them; Yet. 

****

“Sam you were right.”

****

“As usual, but what about specifically.” Lena doesn’t dignify that with an answer; instead she turns to show them the back. “Ah yes, those aren’t the ones.”

****

Lena makes her way back in the dressing room, and starts to take the jeans off. She feels like a girl in one of those cheesy rom coms Kara likes. The thought makes her giddier than she is willing to admit. The second pair is a lighter wash, and she already doesn’t like the color. Too country blue jeans for her. She makes it about 2 steps out of the dressing room when she hears Sam and Kara say, in unison, ‘nope’. She turns around to go back into the dressing room but stops and turns back around to face her friends.

****

“We have eight more pairs of pants to look at. You guys might as well come in the room with me. There’s a couch and I’m not shy.” Sam is already following Lena in before stopping to grab Kara and drag her with her. They plop on the couch while Lena starts to strip the jeans off. Kara blushes furiously and looks intently at her hands, which makes Sam laugh loudly. Lena looks over to see what’s so funny and sees the red on Kara’s cheeks.

****

“I forgot what a prude you were Kara.” Lena teases the blushing woman. She starts to pull the next pair up and ignores Kara’s squawking protests. 

****

“Hey! I’ll have you know that I am very not prudish. Imra and I do all kinds of things together that are… not prudish!” Kara crosses her arms, but her face is still pink. She has at least raised her gaze from her lap.

****

“Like what?” Sam asks curiously with one raised eyebrow. Lena has put on a pair of distressed jeans with holes. They make her butt look good, but she isn’t sure about the holes. It goes in the maybe pile.

****

“Like having sex in the training room at the DEO.” Kara musters up her supergirl courage to admit it, and adds before she loses the nerve, “more than once.”

****

“Seriously?!” Lena asks with a shocked expression, not expecting that from Kara.

****

“Way to go Saturn Girl.” Sam says amusedly; assuming, probably correctly, that Imra was the instigator of those sexscapades. 

****

“Didn’t you ever worry about someone hearing or walking in?” Lena asks, while putting on a pair of dark wash jeans, but with a faded area around her thighs. That was a definite nope all around when it was decided they made her thighs look bigger.

****

“Well there was one incident,” Kara grimaces. “It’s usually not a problem, super hearing and all that, but I was… distracted… Imra was…” Kara’s face was like a tomato, “anyways, Alex kinda walked in on us.” Kara has this look on her face. Kind of sad, kind of mournful, but mostly horrified. Sam starts laughing, and Lena has completely forgotten the jeans in favor of also laughing hysterically at the look on Kara’s face.

****

“Wow, if the look on your face is anything to go by, I’m sure Alex was just as horrified.” Sam says in between her laughter. 

****

Lena continues to try on the next few pairs of jeans. Most of which find themselves in the maybe pile; some in the no pile; none in the yes pile. All of the jeans look good on Lena, but none stand out. The final pair she tries on are these black skinny jeans that look really good. They have a higher waist, but not too high. They are a bit loose at the ankle, but tight down her legs. They stand out above the rest, not only because they make her butt look good, but because of the small white stripe going down the outside of both legs. Sam just gives her a low whistle when she does a full body turn.

****

“Damn Lena. You look good.” Sam says with a appreciative glance, and Kara nods her agreement.

****

“Really?” Lena looks back at herself in the mirror. “Do you think Alex will like them?”

****

“Absolutely…” Sam smirks, “she’ll love them even more on her floor.”

****

“Sam!” Lena yells, but blushes furiously at the implication. Kara just groans and tips her head back.

****

“Can we not talk about my sister’s sex life. Please?” Kara says to the ceiling, while Sam laughs at the two of them.

****

“Well I’m not wrong.” 

****

“Not. The. Point.” Kara pleads.

****

“Fine, fine. Lena you look fantastic. Alex will eat it up… and then she’ll eat…” Sam doesn’t get to finish that sentence before Kara has slapped a hand over her mouth. All she really accomplishes is muffling her laughter and a wet palm when Sam licks it.

****

“Eww, real mature Sam.” Kara wipes her hand on Sam’s pants.

****

“Children.” Lena says in a mock stern tone. “If we are done we should get back to work.”

****

“Fine, fine.” Sam stands up and heads out of the dressing room with Kara on her heels. Lena decides on that last pair and the ripped jeans. They drive back to L-Corp to drop Sam off, she promises to come by later to help her get ready, and Lena and Kara make their way to Catco together. On the ride up in the elevator Lena turns to Kara with a shy look on her face.

****

“Kara?”

****

“Yes?” Kara asks somewhat concerned at the shy tone coming from her friend.

****

“I just wanted to thank you…” Kara looks confused. “For talking to Alex. If she hadn’t asked me out, I’m not sure I would have had the guts to even admit to myself that I liked her, let alone asked her out.”

****

“Of course Lena,” Kara gives her a big hug. “I just want both of you to be happy. Alex’s stubborn and just needed a little push.”

****

“Thank you Kara.” Lena hugs her back tightly. Kara gives her a beaming smile, which Lena returns. They say their goodbyes as they leave the elevator.

****

***

****

“It’s only been 4 hours, how is your head already in your ass again Danvers?” Lucy’s sarcasm can easily be heard through the phone. Alex somewhat regrets calling her, but she needs her help.

****

“Shut up Lane. I don’t need your sass right now. Lena always looks so good, and I don’t want to look stupid next to her on our date. So, I don’t know what to wear, can you come over?” Her voice started out strong, but went anxious at the end.

****

“I’m on my way.” Lucy says without any jokes. She likes to tease the other woman, but she sounds anxious enough. It only takes her about 20 minutes to make it to Alex’s door front door, and only one knock before Alex is opening it. Lucy takes a good look up and down before she is pulled into the apartment. Alex is only wearing a bra and boyshorts, making Lucy snort.

****

“I think the outfit looks great Alex.” Lucy says with amusement. Alex just glares at her and moves towards her closet. “So where is Kara tonight?”

****

“Right here. Hi Lucy!” Kara says coming out of the bathroom and greets the shorter woman with a hug. Lucy turns back to Alex confused.

****

“Okay, so if you have Kara here why did you need me?” Alex looks between the two women, and chuckles.

****

“You see what each of you is wearing right?” Alex motions in between them. They both turn, taking in the other’s appearance. Kara is wearing a black and white polka dot sundress with a bright yellow cardigan on top. Lucy is wearing tight black jeans, with a flowy purple blouse and a leather jacket. “No offense Kara.”

****

“Well offense taken.” Kara pouts.

****

“I’m sorry Kara, but our styles are very different. And I don’t have time for this.” Alex starts to race around again; randomly ripping out clothes from her closet.

****

“Fine, Lucy what do you think she should wear.” Kara says disgruntled. Alex has stopped pulling out clothes and just stands there. Lucy takes a scrutinizing look at the woman and her clothes strewn all over the bedroom. She walks over and grabs a pair of black jeans and throws them at her.

****

“Put these on, and let me see about a top.” Alex quickly throws the jeans on, and barely has time to react before a belt is being thrown at her by Kara.

****

“Try this top.” Kara has thrown her a top with white, gray, and black sections running horizontal. It’s long sleeved, and a soft cotton. Alex throws it on, and stands with her arms to her sides waiting for their opinions. Kara and Lucy share a squinty eyed look.

****

“No.” 

****

Alex sighs and takes it off. Lucy throws her a deep, red/purple top next. It has a scoop neckline, and is also long sleeved. Alex pulls it on with little fanfare. It hugs her curves just right, but you can see the belt lump through the shirt.

****

“Try tucking it in.” Lucy suggests, and Alex complies. “Yep, that’s the one. Kara?”

****

“I agree, but here.” Kara hands over Alex’s favorite leather jacket. She throws it on top. “Perfect. See I make good clothing decisions.” She says indignantly.

****

“All you did was hand her the leather jacket we all knew she was going to wear.” Lucy says, while Kara continues to pout.

****

“Well, I gave her the belt too.”

****

“She owns two belts Kara; black and brown. Even you couldn’t get that wrong.” Lucy laughs when Kara’s pout deepens. Alex has ignored them in favor of going into the bathroom to fix her hair. She slicks the longer part back with some gel, but lets it fluff up a bit. She applies simple makeup; eyeliner, some foundation, a little blush. She feels pretty good about herself and comes out to see what the other two think.

****

“Damn Danvers.” Lucy says with an appreciative once over.

****

“You look great Alex.” Kara says hugging her sister. “Lena will love this outfit on you.”

****

“You know where she’ll like it even better…” 

****

“No!” Kara groans, “Not you too.” Lucy laughs at the blush starting to cover both Danvers sisters.

****

“Speaking of which, you should really clean these clothes up incase you two decide to come back here.” Lucy says looking at the hurricane of clothes that have managed to cover every surface of Alex’s lofted bedroom. Alex looks over at Kara pleadingly.

****

“Fine,” she sighs, “stand back.” Lucy and Alex move out of the room, and Kara becomes a blur. About two minutes later the bedroom is spotless.

****

“Thank you! Thank you!” Alex hugs her sister.

****

Alex’s phone dings telling her it’s time to leave. “Relax Alex.” Kara says with a sigh. “Lena likes you. You like Lena. It’s just a first date, not your wedding. Everything will be fine.” Alex takes a deep breath and smiles. Going for one last hug with her sister.

****

“Thank you, both of you, for coming.”

****

“Of course Danvers. Now go get your girl. And try to act cool!” Alex runs out the door grabbing her motorcycle helmet. 

****

“Now Kara.” Lucy turns on the younger Danvers before she can make it out the door.

****

“Yes?”

****

“Do you know of a milkshake bar on a shooting star? When I asked your girlfriend she was very unhelpful.”

****

***

****

Lena was finishing the last few touches of her make up when she heard a knock on the door. Sam had left 30 minutes ago to pick up Ruby, so she made her way to the door. She opens it to see Alex leaning against the door frame with a…  _ Is that a motorcycle helmet?  _

****

“Alex, come in. You look fantastic.” Lena’s mouth is suddenly dry and she isn’t sure why. Alex nervously runs her hand through her hair, but steps in the apartment.

****

“Thank you. You also look amazing Lena. I love the jeans.” Lena preens for a moment, and mentally thanks Kara and Sam. On top of the jeans she is wearing a green long-sleeved blouse that makes her eyes pop. Something Alex notices immediately as she gets lost in her eyes for a moment.

****

“So are you ready to go?” Lena says, breaking Alex out of her trance. Alex nods and gestures to the door, opening it for Lena. “And where are we going exactly?”

****

“It’s a surprise.” Alex gives her a big smile and Lena swears her knees go weak. She leads Lena down the elevator and out of her building stopping in front of a black Ducati Monster.

****

“Oh no.” Lena says hesitantly, but Alex just walks over and puts the key in. Alex turns back and smiles at Lena’s hesitant look while holding out a helmet for her. Lena can’t believe it, but she starts walking towards the other woman and her death trap. Alex helps her put the helmet on and gives her another smile. Lena is fairly certain she would do anything to make Alex smile like that.

****

“You, the speed demon are afraid to get on the motorcycle?” Alex teases, “Have you ever been on a motorcycle Lena?”

****

“I have.” Lena nods.” And a car is much safer than a motorcycle.”

****

“Great! So just remember to lean with me and hang on tightly.” Lena nods and is about to get on when Alex stops her. She shrugs out of her leather jacket and helps Lena into it. “I don’t want you to get cold.” Lena doesn’t know what to say back. No one has ever done that for her. Not even the few boyfriends she’s had, so she just gives Alex a smile and gets on the motorcycle. Alex quickly throws her helmet on and swings her leg over the seat. She doesn’t start the bike until Lena has hesitantly put her arms around her waist. The roar starts and Lena clamps on tighter, causing Alex to chuckle. 

****

“Don’t worry. I got you.” Alex says as she pulls away from the curb. Lena isn’t worried. In fact, being this close to Alex, while wearing her warm leather jacket, is probably the safest Lena has ever felt. She tries to focus on being close to Alex and not let her thoughts wander to the abs she can feel under her shirt. 

****

They drive for a short while before they make their way out of the city center. The buildings are becoming less squished and Lena can see more of the natural beauty National City has to offer. Alex pulls up to a stop sign. Ahead of her is a more residential part of town, to her right is towards the water, behind her the city gleams in the setting sun, and her left leads towards the desert. Lena waits to see which way they are headed, and holds on when Alex turns left.

****

All too soon they are pulling up on the outskirts of the desert. Lena would be worried that Alex had brought her to the middle of know where to kill her, if it weren’t for the nearly 100 or more cars parked in the area. Alex finds a good spot to park the motorcycle. She pulls in and shuts the bike off; all too soon for Lena’s, surprised, liking. Alex slips off and pulls the helmet off in a move that Lena finds way to graceful… and hot. Alex puts her hand out to help Lena off the motorcycle, and she gratefully accepts it.

****

Once Lena is back on her feet and her helmet is off, she takes a look around her. They are in the middle of nowhere, but weirdly so are a lot of people. Lena starts to shrug out of the jacket, but Alex stops her with a hand on her arm.

****

“Keep it for now. It might get cold.” Lena pulls the jacket back into place.

****

“What about you?” She asks concerned.

****

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. If I get cold, I’ll just steal my jacket back.” Alex says with a cheeky smile, and Lena smacks her arm, but smiles back.

****

“So where are we?” Lena dying to know.

****

“The desert.” Lena rolls her eyes.

****

“Why is everyone I know a smartass?” Alex chuckles.

****

“Why don’t I just show you?” Alex holds out her hand for Lena to take. Lena looks at the hand offered and takes a deep breathe, glancing around. No one is paying them any mind, and Lena feels like she is acting foolish. It’s just holding Alex’s hand.  _ It’s not like we are having sex in the middle of a crowd _ . Lena blushes at that thought.

****

But it's hard. For years she has avoided this situation, no matter how much she wanted it. And now that it’s here, with someone she really likes no less, Lena’s scared. She bites her lip and looks up to Alex’s patient face. Tentatively she reaches out, and Alex doesn’t move a muscle. Lena slips her hand into Alex’s and finds herself on the receiving end of the most beaming smile. She’s glad she risked it.

****

Alex leads her to the front, and asks for two tickets, one lantern and a blanket. Lena looks confused, but follows along when she’s pulled. Alex settles them down on a blanket off from the crowd.

****

“Okay. I still have no idea what’s going on.” Lena chuckles, “It’s an unusual feeling for me.” That makes Alex laugh lightly.

****

“We are at a Lantern Release.”

****

“A what?” That explanation wasn’t good enough for Lena to comprehend where they are and what they are doing.

****

“A Lantern Release. Lanterns are like tiny hot air balloons.”

****

“I know what lanterns are,” Lena laughs, “I just didn’t know they did whole events to release them.”

****

“Well it’s a fundraiser for children with cancer. To give them something magical in their lives. See.” Alex gestures to the other people around her. Lena hadn’t looked that closely, but now that she is looking she can see families everywhere; most with frail looking children. There are others around as well, like them, but mostly families down on their luck. 

****

“When the lanterns light up the sky, it’s....” Lena looks over at Alex who seems to be lost staring towards the darkening sky in wonder. “It’s magical. The lights all around create a glow, and for a moment all your worries are gone.” Lena can feel her eyes getting wet, and Alex gives her a sweet smile. “Plus all the money goes to fund cancer research.”

****

“That sounds amazing Alex. Thank you for bringing me.” Alex takes a deep breathe. Looks like she worried over the date for nothing. Lucy will never let her hear the end of it.

****

“Well the lantern lighting isn’t for about 40 minutes. Would you care to join me for some food?” Alex stands up and offers her hand. This time Lena doesn’t hesitate to take it and hold onto it. Alex walks her over to the food trucks that have gathered for the event, and picks out a salad truck. She knows Lena’s love of kale, and wants her to have whatever she wants tonight. Lena gets a kale salad with salmon, while Alex runs over to get loaded waffle fries from another food truck. Just because she wants Lena to have her kale doesn’t mean she wants to eat it.

****

“You Danvers women.” Lena chuckles when she sees Alex coming back with fries piled high with all kinds of toppings.

****

“What?!” Alex asks indignant. Although it would be a lot more effective if she didn’t have a waffle fry sticking out of her mouth. But it does it’s job when Lena bursts into laughter. Alex grabs them a couple of waters and they make their way back to their blanket. They settle, starting to eat their food, while chatting about their days. They both conveniently leave out the portion of the day spent panicking. 

****

The sky behind them has started to darken, the stars shining out here where the city lights can’t reach them. Lena had been telling Alex about the latest invention L-Corp was working on when she stutters to a stop. Alex is looking at her with this… look. Adoration? Affection? Lust?  Lena can’t really tell, but the look has stolen the breath from her lungs.

****

“Did I tell you how good you look tonight?” Alex husks out. They lay facing each other on the blanket. The food already eaten and discarded, so there is nothing between them. Lena just nods, unable to think of any usable words.

****

“Well you look fantastic, it’s worth saying twice. The green shirt brings out the amazing color of your eyes. And I must say my jacket looks like it was made for you.” Alex can practically see Lucy giving her a high five for managing to be smooth for more than 10 seconds.

****

‘T-t-thanks.” Lena blushes but manages to get the word out. She holds her breathe when Alex moves closer.

****

“Lena…” Alex says barely above a whisper. 

****

“Y-yes?” Alex is about to open her mouth to reply when the static from the speakers surrounding the area come to life. Lena nearly jumps two feet in the air when she startles. She had blocked out everything around them, and nearly forgot they were even in public. Alex looks away, and now that their bubble is broken she feels shy all of a sudden. A woman’s voice comes through the static.

****

“Thank you everyone for coming! I won’t talk long so we can get to the reason we are all here. I just want to thank all of you that donated, all of you who are here, and all of the support from the volunteers. Without you this wouldn’t be possible. So with that said. Let’s get to it.” She lights the first lantern and send it into the sky. Many more follow, and the night lights up into a warm glow.

****

Lena has never seen anything like it and finds herself awestruck by the sight. She feels a tap on her shoulder, and turns to see Alex holding out a lit lantern to her.

****

“What do I do?” Lena ask not touching the delicate lantern, lest she break it.

****

“Hold your palm out.” Lena does as instructed, and Alex sets the lantern in it. She puts her hand under Lena’s and pushes lightly up until the lantern starts to fly on its own. Lena watches it fly away as she laces her fingers with Alex’s. 

****

Alex pulls them back down onto their backs, shoulder to shoulder, to watch the lanterns float away. Alex turns her head to look over at Lena. Alex is enjoying watching the thoughtful and gleeful expressions cross Lena’s face.

****

“Alex this is amazing.” Lena looks over to see Alex watching her softly. Lena worries her lower lip, and catches Alex’s gaze twitch down there before returning to her eyes. “Alex can I tell you something?”

****

“You can tell me anything Lena.” Alex notices the serious air that has surrounded them and leans up on her elbow to look at the younger woman. Lena rolls into a similar position and starts to play with her fingers. Alex reaches across to settle her hand over Lena’s fingers. “Hey?” Lena looks up into her eyes. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine.” Alex gives her a reassuring smile. Lena nods and takes a deep breath.

****

“Well, growing up in the Luthor household there were certain expectations of you.” Alex nods knowing that feeling. “And one of those expectations was to be perfect in all areas. Including having the perfect family.” Understanding dawns on Alex.

****

“They were homophobic?” Lena scoffs and that’s answer enough. “I’m sorry Lena.” Lena starts to wave off her apology. 

****

“That isn’t why I’m bringing it up.”

****

“Okay.” Alex waits patiently for Lena to continue.

****

“You see, because of that homophobia I had issues dealing with the truth about myself.” Lena rolls her eyes at herself, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this…” She huffs, but Alex doesn’t say anything, just squeezes her hand. “What I’m trying to say… is… I’ve never dated a woman.” Lena’s voice has become a whisper.

****

“Oh.”

****

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. It’s just embarrassing, and I wanted you to like me.” Lena apologizes.

****

“Hey, hey. I don’t care that you didn’t tell me Lena.” Alex reaches over to hold her hand; rubs her thumb over Lena’s knuckles in a soothing gesture. “And I do. Like you I mean. I don’t care if you’ve never dated a woman before. I’m not one of those people that refuse to date baby gays.” Lena blushes and starts to sputter protests.

****

“I am not a baby gay.” She says with a scowl. Alex just giggles at her.

****

“Awww, you’re so cute when your serious.” Alex just gives her a smile, and Lena gives up her scowl for a small smile. “But in all seriousness. Whatever pace you want Lena, it’s okay with me. I don’t want to pressure you to do anything you’re not ready for.” 

****

Lena sits there in awe, wondering how she got so lucky to be on a date with Alex Danvers. She lays back down and cuddles into Alex’s side to watch the lanterns continue to fly off. Alex was right, they really do make all your worries go away, if but for a second. No L-corp; no killer family; no homophobia. Just her and Alex under the lanterns. Lena sits back up to look down at Alex, who just twitches an eyebrow in question.

****

“Alex?” Lena ask shyly, but pushing herself to be bold.

****

“Yeah?” Lena bites her lip, and slowly leans down. She’s a breath away when she stops. She looks deep into Alex’s dark brown eyes, which have the lantern’s shining in them making them glow. 

****

“May I kiss you?” Alex wants to just lean forward and connect their lips, but wants to respect the promise she made to let Lena go at her own pace. So instead she answers with a whispered, “yes.” Her breath hitting Lena’s lips.

****

Lena runs her nose along Alex’s and closes the gap. Their lips move across one another softly. Alex can feel Lena smiling into the kiss, and when she pulls away sees the smile for real. Lena leans down to give her another slow kiss, practically stealing her breath away. Alex gives her a crooked smile when they part, and Lena cuddles back down to watch the remaining lanterns lift away. Alex still has a smile plastered to her mouth when she pulls Lena in closer to her body.

****

***

****

After the final lanterns floated away everyone started to pack up their stuff. Alex was giving their blanket back, while Lena went to talk to the organizer of the event. Whatever they talked about clearly went well because she gave Lena a huge hug. Lena made her way back to Alex and reached out for the taller woman’s hand.

****

“Let me guess…” Alex teases, “you bought that company too.” Lena lightly smacks Alex’s stomach, but laughs despite herself.

****

“No I did not. I did however, give her my number to set up a grant for the fundraiser and the families here. It’s not much but…”

****

“No, it’s amazing Lena. You’re so generous, and I love how much you care about the people in this city.” Alex hugs Lena close. They make their way back to the motorcycle in comfortable silence. Alex hands Lena her helmet, helping her tighten the straps.

****

“So did you want to go home?” Alex’s eyes widen, “not that I meant you should come to my place. Not that I don’t want you to come to my place! It’s just your so new to… and I…. I just want you to be comfortable. Not that I don’t want us to do things, but.. I… just...” Alex panic rambles, and Lena thinks it’s adorable. Lucy would kill her for her lack of chill, but hell she made it through the whole date without a panic ramble so it was bound to happen. Lena just leans in and gives her a small kiss to shut her up. It works even if she pulls back nervously and shoots a couple glances around them.

****

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” Lena says and smiles at Alex when she’s confirmed no one is paying any attention to them. Her confidence is higher than when they first started out the night, but they are no longer an anonymous couple in the dark watching lanterns. There are lights around this area, and she still worries, even if she curses herself out for it.

****

“It’s okay Lena. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Alex noticed her worry and tries to soothe it. “Let’s get out of here. Yeah?” Lena nods. “I’ll bring you home.” Alex helps her back on the motorcycle then swings her own leg over. The rumble starts again and Lena squeezes into Alex. Moulding herself against her back.

****

They make their way back into the city. The sky scrapers, still lit up, start to surround them. Alex weaves through the city, and slows when she reaches Lena’s building. Lena hops off the bike and is surprised when Alex dismounts as well.

****

“I’ll walk you up. No funny business I promise.” Alex lifts her hand up in a boy scout salute, making Lena laugh.

****

The ride up the elevator is filled with comfortable silence. Lena is leaning into Alex and finds she is completely comfortable in the intimacy; a first for her. Alex walks her to her door like a perfect gentlewoman, but Lena has other ideas and pulls her in for a kiss. Alex tries her hardest to stifle to moan that wants to come out. Lena is running her hands through Alex’s short hair, and Alex has braced her hands on the other woman’s waist. Lena pulls back first and gives Alex a small peck.

****

“Thank you for taking me out Alex. This has been the best date of my life.” Alex smiles and blushes .Lena hands her the leather jacket.

****

“I guess next time will be a real let down then.” Alex jokes.

****

“Next time?” Lena asks hopefully.

****

“Yes next time.” Alex says confidently, then adds, “if you want?” Lena leans forward to kiss her once again. Alex, feeling bold, briefly licks Lena’s bottom lip; turning the other woman into pudding. She pulls back with a, “goodnight Lena.” Alex leaves down the elevator, and it takes Lena a good two minutes to make her legs work again.

****

When she finally makes it back into her apartment, she can’t help but touch her lips. The tingle is still there and Lena hopes it never goes away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the length, but I really didn't want to split the two parts of the chapter.
> 
> Also here is Lena's Jeans if anyone cares: https://www.armani.com/us/armanicom/emporio-armani/regular-fit-j04-jeans-in-comfort-denim_cod42728708rr.html#dept=jns
> 
> And here is Alex's outfit: https://www.kisspng.com/png-chyler-leigh-alex-danvers-kara-zor-el-supergirl-ma-6004645/


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Alex have a second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Man. It's been a hot minute. I'm so sorry for the delay. I'm only partially to blame. This chapter refused to be written. But good news, its over 8000 words. Yay! So I hope you like it.

“Jess hold all of her calls for the next two hours, and push any meetings back.” Sam struts into Lena’s office as if she owns it and makes a beeline for the bar. Lena looks up at her with an eyebrow raise and an amused look on her face.

****

“What can I do for you Sam?” Lena asks with an air of innocence. Sam grabs them both a finger of whiskey, and sets the glasses down on Lena’s desk. She pushes the one glass over to her and sits down across, making herself at home. Lena eyes the other woman as she takes a small pull of her drink, Sam doing the same.

****

“I’m here to talk to you about the financials for the new prototype.” Sam says with a straight face. Lena narrows her eyes at the other woman, but Sam never breaks.

****

“You are?” Lena says hesitantly.

****

“No you genius level idiot!” Sam says throwing her hands up and taking a long pull of whiskey. “You had your first date with Alex last night, not to mention this was your first gay date, and you didn’t call me!” Sam exclaimed in irritated excitement.

****

“It was nearly midnight when Alex dropped me off.” Lena defends, “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

****

“It could have been 3 AM and I would have answered.” Sam shakes her head with a finger raise cutting off Lena’s reply with “I could have been fucking the hottest woman in the world and I  **STILL** would have answered the damn phone!”

****

“It wasn’t that big of a deal Sam.” Lena says, but Sam continues like she hadn’t even said anything.

****

“She could have been a beautiful, exotic woman; with legs to kill, dark hair, and bright green eyes.” Sam looks off dreamily, and Lena snorts. “What. You know that’s my type.”

****

“Yeah, yeah. Your ideal woman has to be bold like you.”

****

“Exactly. So…” Sam sing songs.

****

“Sam it really wasn’t a big deal.” Lena says shyly, attempting to bring Sam’s excitement back down.

****

“Lena,” Sam says in a softer tone; reigning in her voice and her excitement. “It was a big deal, and I am so proud of you.”

****

“What?” Lena chokes out, and looks up startled.

****

“I know what it took for you to admit, even to yourself, that you like women. But to go out with one. In public. That is huge, and I don’t want you to down play it or yourself. Okay? I am so happy for you.” Lena just nods, eyes wide, feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luckily Sam can feel her anxiety coming off in waves and shifts the subject back.

****

“So? What was she wearing? Where did she take you? Did she like the jeans?” A soft smile spreads on Sam’s face when a huge one spread’s on Lena’s.

****

“Sam it was amazing. It was the best date I’ve ever been on.” Lena looks up dreamily, and Sam can’t contain the laugh bubbling up.

****

“If the look on your face is any indication, Alex must be the world’s biggest romantic or the world’s best kisser.” Sam can’t help but tease. Lena bats her arm, but the blush creeps up her face.

****

“Shut up.” Lena sits up a bit straighter trying to build her confidence, and fires back. “In fact she’s both. My woman has it all.” Lena gives Sam a cheeky smile, while the former tries to come up with a witty remark. She ends up just laughing and Lena quickly joins her.

****

“No, but really?” Sam asks.

****

“The date was amazing.” Lena stops herself from staring off dreamily again. “She loved my jeans.” Sam gives herself a self - five, while Lena rolls her eyes. “She was wearing black jeans, and had a red long sleeved shirt tucked into them. Of course she had her leather jacket to top it all off. She actually lent it to me for the night because... she picked me up… on her Ducati.”

****

“She got you to ride her motorcycle?” Lena raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t mean it like that, jeez Lena get your head out of the rainbow gutter.”

****

“Yes I rode the motorcycle in her jacket.” Lena stares off again remembering how warm and safe she felt in the leather jacket. “I almost didn’t ride it, but she smiled at me and my feet just sort of moved towards her on their own accord.” 

****

“Oh my god, you are already a goner. I don’t even need to hear about the rest of this date to know that.”

****

“Okay so we are done then.” Lena fakes typing on her computer, but can’t help the smile on her face.

****

“No no.” Sam cuts in frantically, batting Lena’s hands off the keyboard. “I need to know the rest or I might combust from anticipation.” Lena rolls her eyes at Sam’s dramatics. “So you were riding Alex… I mean Alex’s motorcycle.” Sam smirks when Lena chokes a bit on air. “Then what?” Lena gives her a mock glare.

****

“Well, then she took me out of town, towards the desert. When we finally stopped we were in the middle of nowhere. I was somewhat convinced that she had taken me there to murder me, but there was around a hundred cars also in the area so I assumed not.”

****

“The saddest thing about that statement is that I want to think you are kidding, but you probably really did think she was going to murder you; even if just for a second.” Sam puts her hand over her heart giving her a sad look.

****

“It is sad, but this is my life. Anyways,” Lena brushes her concerns aside with a wave of her hand a pull of her drink. “she offered me her hand when we were walking, and… I took it.” Lena blushes a light pink, and Sam thinks its the cutest, most innocent thing she’s ever seen.

****

“Awww, that’s so sweet.”

****

“Shut up.” Lena says as the blush darkens a bit.

****

“No I mean it.” Sam says encouragingly.

****

“Well.” Lena looks skeptical, but Sam’s face shows no sign of mockery. “I wasn’t sure if I should take it.” Lena looks down briefly. “And Alex was so sweet. She didn’t force me to take her hand, but just waited patiently to see if I took it. And I did.” Sam’s face has a proud beaming smile, and you would have thought Lena had just won a nobel prize.

****

“Then,” Lena continues before Sam can say anything. “She brought me over to this wide open space filled with people. There were families and couples everywhere, and a bunch of food trucks. They were handing out blankets and lanterns to everyone there.”

****

“What?” Sam asks confused. “Like an old timey, Paul Revere Lantern?”

****

“No a paper lantern.”

****

“That makes even less sense.”

****

“I know! I was confused too. But Sam! This event; it was amazing! Alex brought me to this open area, and everyone was laying around on blankets. We settled on one together after getting food, and waited for the sky to get dark. When it finally did everyone released the lanterns at the same time, and Sam.” Lena puts her hand on Sam’s to emphasise her next point, “The entire sky lit up in this yellowish red, fiery glow. It was like witnessing all of the stars up close, and watching them drift slowly away into blackness. It was the most magical thing I’ve ever seen.”

****

“Wow. And they were just doing this randomly? Because if so I want to be on the email list.”

****

“No,” Lena shakes her head. “That is one of the best parts Sam. This was all a fundraiser for childhood cancer research.”

****

“Oh, this explains the grant proposal I got this morning.” Sam says with understanding.

****

“Yeah. I wanted to help in anyway I could. I know it isn’t much, but it will be something.” Sam just smiles at Lena’s downplay of her generosity, deciding not to comment on it.

****

“So did you? You know…” Sam asks with a eyebrow waggle, getting back on topic.

****

“Did I what?” Lena tries to deflect, but the blush creeping up her neck gives her away.

****

“You did, didn’t you.” Sam says with a cheeky smile, but then turns more serious. “Wait. She didn’t pressure you did she? Because I don’t care how badass she is I will kick her ass myself if she even pushed a little bit! Even if that means going through Lucy!” Sam starts to get worked up, and is almost out of her chair before Lena cuts her off.

****

“No! No, no. She didn’t pressure me.” Sam settles back down. “In fact I told her I’d never dated a woman, and she was completely cool about it.

****

“As she should be.”

****

“And she told me that we would go at whatever pace I was comfortable with.” Lena continues like Sam hadn’t said anything. “But yes... I did kiss her.” Lena thinks her ears might burst due to the high pitch squeal that just came out of her CFO and best friend. She’s not sure she has ever heard that sound coming out of her, or any human for that matter. Sam jumps up, running around to tackle Lena in a hug.

****

“I’m so happy for you! And so proud! Happy and proud!” Lena just laughs a watery laugh and hugs the woman back. After a few seconds they part and Sam settles back down on the other side of the desk.

****

“So did you make a second date yet?”

****

“Yes,” Lena says with a smile. “I texted Alex this morning inviting her out this afternoon.”

****

“Wow that was fast.”

****

“Too fast?” Lena says with apprehension and Sam back tracks quickly.

****

“No! No! It just doesn’t give us a lot of time to plan what you are going to do.”

****

“Oh don’t worry.” Lena smirks, “I already have an idea.”

****

“Well don’t keep it to yourself.” Sam matches her smirk, and gets up to get them another finger of whiskey.”

****

***

****

“And then she kissed me Kara!”

****

“Oh Rao. It all sounds so amazing Alex!” Kara gives her older sister a big hug, then gets back into her fighting stance. Kara had been concerned that the date didn’t go well when she found her sister in the training room. But that giant smile on her face couldn’t be misconstrued as anything other than pure joy and elation.

****

“It really was. And we have another date tonight!” Alex practically squees. Kara doesn’t hold back on her squee.

****

“You got yourself a second date Danvers? Way to go.” Lucy says strutting into the room. “Where are you taking her this time?”

****

“She’s taking me actually. And I’m not sure where. She didn’t say, and it’s killing me not to know.” Alex flops on the ground dramatically, causing the other women to laugh.

****

“Well,” Kara laughs. “I can tell you that keeping the first date a secret drove her nuts as well, so it might be payback.”

****

“Probably. But you know me, I like to know everything about where I am going. All the exits; all the security; even who mops the floors. I’m paranoid like that.” Kara just raises an eyebrow and helps Alex off the ground.

****

“Lena has had 12 assassination attempts since I’ve known her.” Both Lucy and Alex look adequate startled by that number. “I think she has you beat in paranoia. Trust me, wherever you go will be secure.”

****

“Holy crap that’s a lot of assassination attempts. Maybe we should stick a guard on her.” Lucy mumbles quietly.

****

“I’ve tried. She says she doesn’t want a bodyguard to get hurt if she is targeted again.” Kara says to Lucy, and turns back to Alex. “I’m surprised she went with you honestly. Especially, if she didn’t know where you two were going.” Kara muses. “She must really trust you Alex, and that’s not easy for her.” Alex isn’t sure what to say; feeling like she’s being given information she shouldn’t have access to. She just smiles and blushes.

****

“Why don’t you hit the showers Danvers. I’ll keep sparring with Kara and you can finish up your project in the lab before your date.”

****

Alex looks confused for a second, but just shrugs and gives Lucy a high five on her way out.

****

“So Kara…” Kara looks confused and wide eyed, while Lucy starts to circle her.

****

“Is this about the ice cream place again? I already told you that it exists, but there isn’t enough oxygen for you to go there. I promised I would have brought you if I could.” Kara puts her hands up and waits for Lucy to jab first.

****

“No, this isn’t about the most disappointing thing to happen to me this week.” Lucy huffs. “It’s about Alex and Lena. Well Lena’s intentions specifically.” Lucy throws a couple punches that Kara dodges easily.

****

“What?” Kara asks confused.

****

“Welcome to the shovel talk.” Lucy says in a talk show voice, and adds “I assume you know what that is.”

****

“I know what it is, but why am I getting it? I’m not dating Alex!” Kara adds even more confused.

****

“Because you brought Lena into our lives, and she’s your responsibility.” Lucy points a finger at her, then swings with the other hand. “So Lena.”

****

“What about her?”

****

“I want to make sure she’s not going to hurt Alex.” Kara looks surprised before a darker look comes across her features.

****

“You don’t trust her because she’s a Luthor.” Kara crosses her arms with a scowl pout. She has stopped moving and Lucy stands directly in front of her.

****

“No. Don’t give me the pout. I do trust Lena.” The pout doesn’t go away. “That doesn’t change the fact that I care a lot about Alex, and I want to make sure she is being taken care of the way she deserves.”

****

“She is.” Kara lessens the pout and uncrosses her arms. “I’m sure of it. Besides if there was one person to blow that relationship up my money would be on Alex.”

****

“Oh snap.” Lucy laughs and Kara has the decency to look sheepish. “Didn’t know you had it in you miss sunshine and rainbows. What makes you so sure Alex would screw it up first?”

****

Kara fidgets a little bit. Unsure if she should talk about Alex behind her back. It wasn’t like this was just anyone though. It was Lucy. Her sister’s best friend. She wouldn’t judge Alex for her choices. Kara stops fidgeting and comes to a determination.

****

“She hasn’t always treated women… the best... in the past.” The surprise on Lucy’s face is evident.

****

“Really?” Kara nods. “Alex ‘fall on her own sword for you’ Danvers treated women badly?” Kara nods her head in a ‘sort of’ gesture. “What are we talking here?” Lucy starts to get concerned. Not judgemental, but concerned. “Physically?”

****

“Oh, no, nothing like that!” Kara waves her hands around, quickly dissuading any thoughts that Alex has ever been abusive. 

****

“She just… played with women. With their hearts. Used them and left them.” Lucy’s eyebrows have shot up to her hairline. 

****

“Honestly, I think it was part of her self-destructive behavior. Make herself into the the monster she thought she was.” Kara shrugs sadly. “Plus that kind of lifestyle isn’t exactly know for healthy relationships.” Lucy looks really confused now.

****

“What?”

****

“What?” Kara mimics and realizes a few seconds too late what she said.

****

“What lifestyle? Being gay?” Lucy looks even more confused if that was possible. “Because you clearly know from your current experience that gay relationships can be perfectly healthy relationships.” Lucy bristles slightly in a confused defence. “Not that I’ve experienced it.” She mumbles somewhat bitterly.

****

“No! That’s not… not what I meant! I…” Kara stutters.

****

“So what lifestyle are you talking about?” Lucy crosses her arms in her no bullshit lawyer stance, and Kara’s mind tries to run faster to come up with something.

****

“Science!”

****

“Science.”

****

“Yep the scientist lifestyle.”

****

“That’s what you’re going with.” Lucy says unbelieving.

****

“Yep.” Kara hopes Imra can feel her distress and comes to save her. “Those academics can be meanies.” Kara starts to fluster hard and feels herself breaking under the pressure. Luckily for her Vasquez has perfect timing.

****

“Ma’am, Director Danvers needs you in her lab.” Vasquez looks between the two women; Lucy, with her no bullshit face at full force; Kara with a relieved and grateful look. Lucy gives Kara one last look and makes her way out of the training room.

****

“Did Alex find something important?” Kara asks after she finally lets out a breath of relief.

****

“Nope.” Vasquez says with a smile before making her way out of the room. She stops at the door and shouts over her shoulder, “Imra sends her love by the way!”

****

***

****

Alex can’t help the fact that her eyes refuse to leave Lena. She’s tried to watch where they are headed. Tried to guess where they were headed with no luck. But her eyes keep being pulled back to the woman next to her. She’s fairly sure Lena can tell if the slight pink color on her cheeks mean anything. Lena had texted her to dress casually. Alex had chosen to wear a different pair of black jeans, a loose green tank top with cross straps at the top of the front, and of course, her leather jacket.

****

Lena had worn the second pair of jeans she had picked out. They were a dark wash, nearly black. They hugged her curves most of the way down, with holes along the entirety. On top she was wearing a v-neck white shirt and a leather jacket thrown over top. When Lena had stepped out of the car in that outfit Alex had sworn her entire mouth dried up. She recovered quickly to greet Lena, then stuttered again when Lena gave her a hug.

****

Soon they were pulling up at what looked like a kids theme park; mini-golf; go-karts; a merry-go-round. Alex looked over confused, and it made Lena laugh. She got out of the car without an explanation and Alex scrambled after her. Lena locked the car and held her hand out for Alex. Alex’s face brightened at the gesture and she eagerly took the proffered hand, their fingers locking together. 

****

Alex had begun walking towards, what she now sees is named Fun Town, but Lena quickly pulls her in the opposite direction. If Alex had been paying more attention to where they were driving vs who was driving she would have figured out where they were. But alas, she has no idea. She just follows where Lena goes and finds herself in a large lobby area with two men waiting patiently.

****

“Ah! Lena there you are!” The taller of the two men comes over with his hand outstretched. Lena releases Alex’s hand to shake his and the other man’s hands. She quickly finds Alex’s hand again when she’s done, and interlaces their fingers once more.

****

“Peter. Thank you so much for doing this.” He quickly waves her off.

****

“For my favorite client. It is no problem!”

****

“Peter, Juan, let me introduce Alex Danvers.” Alex had been silently watching the exchange and offers a smile and a wave when her name is said. Peter quickly walks over to shake her hand as well, and Juan follows shortly after.

****

“So if you two want to follow us this way, we will get you suited up and ready to go.” Peter has already started walking, so Alex can’t ask where and what they are doing. “The suits are in here, helmets will be outside, and we’ll meet you out there.” He quickly shuts the door behind him, and Lena and Alex are left in what seems to be a changing room with two full body suits hanging there.

****

“So? Is this a racing suit? And was that Juan Montoya?” Alex ask gesturing around her. Lena smiles and walks closer until she’s right in front of Alex. Alex is holding her breath as Lena leans in. Lena kisses her cheek, nearly hitting her mouth, as she reaches around Alex for one of the suits.

****

“Yes and yes.” She smirks. “Put your suit on.” 

****

Alex huffs, “tease.” It makes Lena giggle and smile, and Alex thinks it’s the best sound she’s ever heard.

****

Alex has little trouble getting the suit on. Between tactical gear and her surfing wetsuit, she’s used to getting these types of things on. Lena struggles a bit with one uncooperative arm, but Alex helps her. 

****

“Ready?” Lena asks holding out her hand.

****

“Nope.” Alex says coming closer to Lena. Lena looks confused and drops her hand. She tries to hide the small feeling of hurt, but it’s quickly forgotten when Alex leans in and pecks her cheek. She gives Lena a cheeky smile.

****

“Now I’m ready.” Lena pushes Alex on the chest and finds that she doesn’t budge.  _ Wow are all Danvers solid as a rock, or do I need to work on my upper body strength?  _

****

“Tease.” Alex reaches for Lena’s hand with a small shrug. Lena grabs it and drags them out of the changing room towards large glass doors. Beyond those doors Alex can see a massive concrete race track, and a car zooming around it. The doors slide open as they approach and they walk through. Alex is blinded for a second by the sun shining, but quickly recovers. 

****

Peter is standing off to the side, but Juan isn’t there anymore. She assumes he is in the car zooming by and follows him with her eyes when he comes around. Her eyes quickly jump to the line-up of cars along the side of the track and her jaw drops. She has stopped dead in her tracks, and Lena is forced to stop along with her since they are still holding hands. Lena shares a look with Peter laughing, and reaches around to close Alex’s jaw with a snap.

****

“Earth to Alex.” Lena waves her hand in front of her face. Alex jolts out of her trance and looks over at Lena with a shocked and excited look on her face.

****

“Are those what I think they are?” Alex points to the car’s to her right as if Lena didn’t know what she was talking about.

****

“If you mean the five fastest cars in the world… then yes.” A smile starts to take up Alex’s whole face.

****

“Do I get to drive them?”

****

“Yes.” Lena has to bite her lip to contain the laugh that wants to burst through at the childlike glee Alex has on her face. She is practically bouncing up and down, and Lena is again reminded of the similarities the sisters share.

****

“If you would like,” Peter interrupts, “I would be happy to tell you about the 5 cars we have here, while Juan finishes his laps.”

****

He hasn’t even finished talking before Alex is dragging Lena over with her. She can’t stop the laugh this time, and it bubbles out of her. It momentarily distracts Alex, who sends her a big smile over her shoulder.

****

“Well this first one is a Koenigsegg CCX. It can reach speeds of 245 MPH, and go from 0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds.” Alex is staring at the car with wide, joy filled eyes. Peter moves onto the next car and Alex quickly follows.

****

“This next car is a 9ff GT9-R. It is based on Porsche’s 911, and reaches a speed of 257. It also goes from 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds.” They move onto the third car in the line up. Lena is content being dragged along and watching Alex’s excitement.

****

“The third fastest car we have is the Koenigsegg Agera R. Unlike the other Koenigsegg, she reaches speeds of 260, and goes from 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds.” Alex is practically vibrating with excitement as they slowly work their way through all the cars. At this point Juan has finished his laps and joined the group.

****

“The second fastest car is the Hennessey Venom GT. Only ten of these cars are produced each year. They reach speeds of 260 MPH, and go from 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds.” Peter stops turns to the group, like he is leading a class of school children.

****

“And finally,” he makes a broad sweeping motion as he spins to show the last car in the line up. “The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport.” Alex nearly blows him over and dislocates Lena’s arm to get to the final car. “Can reach speeds of 267 MPH, and go from 0 to 60 in 2.4 seconds.” Alex makes a gleeful happy sound, and Lena thinks it might be the cutest thing she’s ever heard.

****

“Alex.” Lena calls. No response. “Alex?” Lena asks with a laugh. “Should I leave you two alone?” Lena snarks to Alex. Peter and Juan try and stifle their laughter when Alex finally tears her focus away from the car, and looks back at Lena. Her pupils have completely blown, and the sight makes Lena swallow harshly. Alex’s eyes briefly flit down to her lips, but come back up.

****

“Okay, if we are ready to go.” Paul looks between the two women with a small smile. “Juan is going to go over some safety guidelines.” Lena nods, her voice trapped and locked within Alex’s dark eyes.

****

They quickly go over the safety guidelines, and are helped into their helmets. They can only go one at a time for their own safety, because they aren’t professional drivers. Lena motions for Alex to go first and she bounces up and down in excitement. Once the helmet is all strapped in Alex quickly hops in the first car they were shown, the Koenigsegg CCX. 

****

“Okay Alex.” Juan leans over in the window. “This track is fairly large, so you have space to go fairly fast. However, you need to get used to how the car handles, so I want you to do a few laps at a slower speed to warm up. Got it?”

****

Alex gives him a thumbs up and starts the car with a roar. She looks over to Lena and gives her a wink and pulls out to the track. She does exactly what Juan says and starts out slow. Well slow is relative, but she doesn’t gun it like she wants to. After a few laps around at a slower speed, Alex is feeling fairly confident. She starts to increase her speed, and is soon whipping around the track at a fairly fast speed. She does a few laps around, and soon pulls back into the waiting area.

****

She cuts the engine, the roar slowly dying out. She quickly hops out of the car and pulls off her helmet in one smooth motion. The smile that graces her face is large and beaming and Lena can’t help but be drawn to it again. They quickly meet halfway, and Alex is dying to kiss her. If it were not for Juan and Paul standing off to the side she would, but she doesn’t want to make Lena uncomfortable.

****

“How was it?” Lena asks once they’ve connected both of their hands in an embrace.

****

“It was amazing! I felt boundless and unstoppable. In fact,” She says with a mock serious look on her face. “I have solved the Irresistible force paradox.” Lena stops the snort that wants to break free. “I am the unstoppable force, and there is no way any immovable object could have ever stopped me” Lena laughs at that, and leans in closer, her breath brushing the shell of Alex’s ear. The feeling makes Alex’s breath hitch.

****

“You’re so cute when your being all nerdy and cocky..” Lena pulls back with a smile. “But I’m glad you had fun. There are 4 more cars for you to try.” She motions to the next one, and Alex’s eyes light up.

****

“What about you?” Lena shakes her head.

****

“Go ahead. I’ll go after your next turn. Besides you are too excited to be contained unstoppable force.” Lena giggles and pushes Alex towards the next car. A 9ff GT9-R. Alex shoots her a dopey smile and makes her way over to the next car. Once she gets her self situated and straps on her helmet on, Juan comes over to chat with her.

****

“Okay Alex. This time is the same as last time. Take it for a few laps slowly to warm up, but this time I want you to stop at that line over there. Once you get there step on the gas and see how fast it can go from 0 to 60. Good?” She throws him another thumbs up and another wink over her shoulder at Lena. 

****

All too soon the engine is roaring to life and Alex has pulled out. She laps a couple of times at a slower speed then stops at the line Juan had mentioned. It’s directly after one of the curves, giving Alex the longest straight line to build her speed fast. Alex takes a couple breaths and looks down the long track. She hits the gas and tears away from the line, racing down the blacktop. She reaches 60 in 3 seconds, stays there for a few seconds then slows down to take the curve.

****

Lena is watching her drive around with a smile on her face. She was fairly sure Alex was going to like this date, but this is going better than she could have imagined. She feels a hand on her shoulder and looks over to see Peter standing next to her.

****

“She’s a good driver.” Lena nods, “Almost better than you.” Lena makes a sound of offense and smacks the man next to her. He just laughs it off, but a soft look comes across his face.

****

“I know it’s not my place.” Lena looks over with a raised eyebrow. “But you two… you look good together.” He stops her interruption, “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone.” Lena gives him a shy smile. They get interrupted when Alex pulls back into the waiting area.

****

“So unstoppable force, how did that one drive?” Lena snarks and Alex groans, but the smile seems to have grown on her face.

****

“Super great! Trust me you have to try it!” Alex exlaimes in excitement, and swears she hears Peter snort. Alex starts pulling her toward the first car. She gets her helmet situated, and hops into the car. She is quickly starting it up and pulls away. 

****

“What, she doesn’t get a safety talk?” Alex asks in mock offense, but both Peter and Juan just smile.

She does a couple of test laps, just like Alex. On her third lap around she starts to whip around the track at faster speeds than Alex had. She seems to be gaining speed every lap and Alex is just standing there with her mouth open in shock. Lena slows down and is soon pulling into the waiting area. She pulls off the helmet and can’t help the laugh that comes out at the look of shock on Alex’s face.

****

“Holy crap Lena.” Alex finds her words, “I knew you liked to drive fast, but fuck that was impressive.” Lena smiles and blushes under the praise. 

****

“Next?” Lena saunters over to the next car with Alex following, and hops in. Not before giving Alex a peck on the cheek. Lena is off quickly before she can panic about what she just did. Alex, however, understands the gravity of it. The first time she’s done more than hold hands in public; while it’s daylight anyways. Not just that, but she showed affection in front of people she clearly knows, and Alex isn’t sure what to do now. She settles for just walking over and watching Lena zip around the track.

****

“She’s really good.” Peter nods with a smirk on his face. “How often does she borrow these cars to drive?”

****

“Borrow?” Peter laughs.

****

“Yeah?” Alex asks confused like she’s missing something important here.

****

“Alex… Lena owns all of these cars. She’s just using the track.” Alex’s jaw drops and a choked noise comes out of her. She slowly turns to look over at the cars next to them. She’s aware of Lena’s wealth. It was one of the things listed on her initial background check. However, to be faced with a blatant show of wealth is startling. All together the cars total about 7 million dollars, and Alex isn’t sure what to do with the knowledge that Lena owns them all. Don’t get her wrong she had amassed a good amount of money when she was AP, but that’s been gone for a while. Even when she had money, her wealth was no where close to where Lena is. Her brain is stuck between shock and finding it incredibly hot.

****

Lena pulls back in after a last few laps at top speed. She gets out of the car breathless, and pulls off her helmet. It’s been a long time since she had driven these cars on a controlled track. Alex is still staring at the cars with her eyes wide, and an unreadable expression on her face. Peter just looks guilty behind her, and refuses to meet Lena’s eyes. Lena frowns slightly, and walks over to Alex, who jolts when Lena touches her arm.

****

“Are you ok Alex?” Lena asks concerned.

****

“Yes?” Alex isn’t sure why it comes out as a question.

****

“Are you sure? You’re eyes are all wide.”

****

“Do you own all of these?” Alex hates the way she blurts it out, but it’s too late. Lena drops her hand sending a glare over to Peter. She fidgets a bit in her spot, before saying with a small voice.

****

“Yes.”

****

“That’s… that’s…” Lena braces herself for Alex to berate her about selfishly spending her money. “Awesome!” Lena looks up with shock, and she’s not sure she heard Alex correctly.

****

“What?”

****

“You’re living my car fantasy! I had always blown through my money so fast when I was… you know” Alex waves vaguely. “I never had the opportunity to even dream about driving them. Thank you! Thank you!” The bright smile returns to her face, and she slams into Lena with a big bear hug. Lena is slightly startled, but quickly hugs Alex back. Lena is shocked. In her experience things that show her true wealth, like cars, is usually met with animosity. Excitement and thanks is not what she was expecting, but it’s Alex. She should have known. 

****

“Plus you looked so hot driving it.” Alex whispers in her ear, and Lena blushes fiercely. 

****

“Well there are still three more cars for you to drive.” Lena says with a slight squeak in her voice when they part. Alex quickly runs over to the next car and Lena just laughs watching her. And that is how they spend the next hour or so, driving. Lena even convinces Juan and Peter to let them race, but only on the straight part of the track. 

****

Alex is standing in front of the five cars with a look of absolute seriousness on her face, and Lena can’t help but smile at how cute she is being. She is slowly walking around and inspecting each car, attempting to determine what car will be the best to win. It doesn’t need to be the fastest, because the track isn’t long enough for top speed. Finally she stops in front of the deep red Hennessey Venom, and nods.

****

“This one. I like this one. It’s mine.” Alex says with determination.

****

Lena chooses the Bugatti Veyron, and soon they are lining up next to each other. Alex gives her a big smile and blows her a kiss. It makes Lena giggle, and Alex keeps smiling at her for a few seconds. The lights in front of them flash, signaling them to get ready.

****

Red flashes.

****

The engines roar.

****

Yellow flashes.

****

The engines rev.

****

Green flashes.

****

The cars screech out of the starting line, barreling down the track. 

****

They start pretty neck and neck. Lena starts to creep ahead about halfway. Then Alex starts to nose ahead. This goes back and forth until they both cross the line. It’s a photo finish. They slow down and pull around the curve and head back towards the waiting area. When they get there both jump out of the car and run towards the waiting men.

****

“So?” “Who won?” They ask at the same time. The men look at each other and smirk. Peter looks back at the two women, who can barely contain their energy.

****

“Alex.”

****

“YES!”

****

“What?!” Lena squawks in mock offense. Alex has started running around and whooping.

****

“Unstoppable force! That’s me! An Unstoppable force!” Lena just grabs Alex when she runs by and pulls her into a kiss. Alex recovers from her shock quickly and melts into her.

****

“Looks like the unstoppable force met her unmovable object.” Peter mumbles to Juan, making the other man laugh. They walk away to give the two their privacy.

****

Alex pulls back for air and Lena chases her mouth, pulling her back in. She figures if she just keeps kissing Alex she might not have time to freak out. Eventually, however, the need to breathe becomes too great.

****

Alex opens her eyes when they are a hair's breadth away. Lena still has her eyes closed in a look of bliss. Alex can’t help but stare, and waits for her eyes to open. A few seconds later her eyes blink open, and they are filled with happiness, but an undercurrent of worry. Alex just gives her a sweet comforting smile, and leans in to peck her bottom lip.

****

“Are you ok?” The concern in her voice nearly chokes Lena up, and she just nods and buries her face into Alex’s shoulder. They stay in their little bubble for a bit before Lena pulls back. In a moment of bravery she leans back in and gives Alex a slow kiss.They pull back and Lena gives Alex a tentative smile. Alex interlaces their fingers and pulls them back inside where the two men are waiting.

****

“Have a good time?”

****

“Yes, absolutely!” Alex squeezes Lena’s hand.

****

“Fantastic! Well you two can go get changed and we will meet you back out here.” Lena and Alex waste little time changing and saying their goodbyes and soon they are back in Lena’s car. 

****

***

****

“Are you hungry?” Lena asks looking over to Alex. Alex had interlaced her fingers with Lena’s on the gear stick when they got in, and hasn’t let go. Alex doesn’t get a chance to answer before her stomach grumbles and answers for her. “I shouldn’t have even asked. You Danvers women and your love of food.”

****

“I would deny it, but I can’t.” Alex gives her a dopey smile. 

****

Lena drives them back through the city, the sun setting off to the right casting a glow of light and shadows all around them. They pull up to an unmarked building; just a large crystal hangs from the wall. If it weren’t for the doorman out front  Alex would think it was just another warehouse. Lena hands her keys off to a valet that appears out of nowhere, and they walk into the building. There is only about 7 tables in the entire place, and six are filled with couples.The maitre d ' seats them in the remaining table; set off from the rest. Lena orders a bottle of whiskey, and it is brought within seconds.

****

“What is this place? And how did you know there would be a table available?”

****

“This is Crystals. It’s reservation only, but I was always promised a table whenever I wanted one.” 

****

“Are you telling me, that within the 30 seconds from when we pulled up and walked in they set up a whole new table for you.” Lena just shrugs, and takes a sip of her whiskey.

****

“I’m not sure.”

****

“Huh, How is it that you got a magically appearing table here?” Alex asks sarcastically.

****

“I helped start this place.” Lena says quietly. “They came to me with the idea of starting a higher end restaurant in an area that was struggling. Bringing money and jobs to the area. I wasn’t convinced until I tried the food. It’s to die for. I gave them the start up for this restaurant and 4 others in the area.” Lena shrugs like it’s no big deal.

****

“You’re amazing.” Alex says softly. Lena looks ready to brush off the compliment, but Alex doesn’t let her. Just grabs her hands, locking their fingers together. “I mean it Lena. You do so much for this city, and never take any of the credit. How did I get so lucky to be with you?” Lena blushes, and her eyes are wet. She is saved from having to answer when the waiter comes over. Lena orders for both of them, and they are soon all alone again.

****

“Can I ask you a question Alex?”

****

“Sure, but only if I get to ask you one in return.” Alex teases and Lena rolls her eyes.

****

“Of course.” Lena says and Alex motions for her to continue. “Why…” Lena chews on her bottom lip, and Alex’s eyes are drawn to the movement. “Why am I the only one who knows your AP?”

****

“What?” Alex asks; surprise coloring her voice.

****

“Why haven’t you told your friends about being AP? You told me about your life, but you’ve never even told Lucy.” Alex looks down with furrowed brows. If she is honest with herself, she isn’t sure why she’s never told Lucy. In the past she has had reasons. Protect Kara. But all the people in her life, already know Kara’s secret. 

****

“I’m sorry.” Lena tries to back track. “You don’t have to answer that. It’s none of my business.”

****

“No, no. It’s ok.” Alex gives her a small smile. “If I’m honest with myself. I don’t have a good reason not to tell them. I guess a part of me is worried it will change everything. I was scared that… me...being revealed… would badly affect my relationships, and I guess I wasn’t ready for things to change.” Alex tries to shrug it off.

****

“Alex. The people in your life are going to be there whether or not you tell them you were a rockstar. I promise, there is nothing in your past that would negatively affect your relationships with the people you’re closest too.” Alex shakes her head.

****

“Lena I’ve done bad things in the past. Things I regret.”

****

“We’ve all done bad things.” Alex’s fingers fidget, as she looks down at them. “Alex look at me. Alex.” She looks up into caring green eyes. “The things in your past don’t change who you are now. You told me about your past and I’d like to think it changed our relationship for the better.” Lena gives her a shy smile, and gets a tentative one in return.

****

“But Lena, there is so much more you don’t know.”

****

“Don’t care.” Lena says resolutely. “Lucy, Sam, Vasquez, and anyone else you decide to tell won’t care either.” Alex doesn’t know what to say, and the  waiter comes over with their food setting it down without a word. “Okay?” Alex just gives her a small nod and takes a bite of the food.

****

“Oh my god this is good.” Alex starts to inhale her food at a speed that would give Kara a run for her money. Lena just laughs and starts to eat hers at a more normal pace.

****

“Yes and would you believe it’s all vegan.” That nearly causes Alex to choke on her food. She looks at Lena, then back down at her food, then back at Lena. Made extra comical by the fact that her cheeks are stuffed with said food.

****

“What?!” She squeaks out around the food.

****

“Just kidding.” Lena laughs at the look of relief on Alex’s face. Alex finally starts to slow down her eating. Taking more care in her bites, after nearly choking once.

****

“So, what was your question?” Lena asks once their dinner plates are cleared and they order dessert.

****

“Well, you don’t have to answer. I was just curious.” Lena nods encouragingly. “I remember asking what your favorite song was and you said…”

****

“Do You Wanna Touch Me.” Lena attempts to stamp down the blush that wants to appear.

****

“Yeah. So I was wondering why that song was your favorite out of all of mine?” Lena doesn’t succeed at squashing the blush, but Alex doesn’t tease her this time. She is genuinely curious about why.

****

“Um… Well… As I’ve told you I was closeted. I guess I still am; sort of.” Lena eyebrows furrow, but Alex just squeezes the hand she had been holding under the table. “Anyways, you know Sam took me to your last concert. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Everyone was so out and open and… proud. I hadn’t listen to a lot of your music yet. I knew you were out, and all that, but I guess I didn’t know it would be so blatant. Well, as the night went on I grew more comfortable. Not just with the crowd, but with myself as a member of the crowd. It probably sounds stupid, but that night was a major turning point in my life.”

****

“It’s not stupid Lena. That night was a major turning point in my life as well; just for different reasons.” Lena nods, mostly to herself. Then turns a bright shade of red.

****

“Well… that song. It was the last straw. Seeing you… and that… woman... dancing. It was so…” Lena just gulps, and Alex has to hold in the giggle that wants to come out. Lena clears her throat, “Well, it confirmed everything I had worried I was, but I suddenly didn’t care. Sam.” Lena smiles fondly, “Sam saw the look on my face and laughed. She pulled me into a hug, and it felt like this monumental shift. But not in the way I expected. I expected hate or lighting raining down; I don’t know. But to be pulled in and hugged, and continue on like nothing was different. It meant everything to me.”

****

“Wow.” Alex is stunned speechless. The waiter comes over to drop off the dessert, and Alex thinks he has impeccable timing. “I don’t know what to say. I had always hoped my music would reach people, but I… I never imagined… it would have anywhere close to that effect.”

****

“It did for me Alex, so thank you.” Alex gives her an unsure smile. “And trust me, your music reached more people than you know.”

****

Alex diverted attention and bit into the chocolate dessert, moaning when it hit her taste buds. Her eyes had slid shut at the taste, and when she opened them she saw Lena looking wide eyed at her.

****

“What?” Lena shakes herself out of her trance and clears her throat.

****

“Nothing, nothing.” Lena eats some of the dessert, holding in a moan at the taste. She contemplates asking the question she’s always wanted to know the answer to, no matter how embarrassing. She takes a sip of whiskey and decides to go for it.

****

“Alex?”

****

“Huh?” Alex says with a mouthful of chocolate dessert, before she quickly swallows it.

****

“Okay.” Lena takes a deep breath. “This is going to be totally embarrassing, but I’ve always wanted to know.”

****

“Okay?” Alex laughs.

****

“The woman you were dancing with in… that song. How did she get chosen to dance with you?” Alex only partially stifles the laugh that wants to bubble out. “I mean she was pretty, but not necessarily the best dancer out of all of them. She was usually in the back on other songs.”

****

“Lena, did you analyze my dance partner out of jealousy.” Alex can’t help but tease. Lena just huffs, but a blush is working its way up her neck. Alex just laughs, but relents when Lena shoots her a mock glare.

****

“Honestly. She was chosen because she was straight and married.”

****

“What?” Lena asks confused. That seemed illogical to her, if they wanted to showcase chemistry.

****

“Well,” Alex rubs the back of her neck sheepishly, “I had a history of sleeping with the dancers, and they wanted to make sure that didn’t happen.” 

****

“Oh.” Alex has a nervous look on her face, but breathes a sigh of relief when Lena continues. “That actually makes perfect sense.

****

***

****

Lena doesn’t allow Alex to pay, against her protests. They are soon back in the car and driving towards Alex’s place. The sky is a deep black at this point, but lit up from all the skyscrapers surrounding them. Lena pulls up, puts the car in park, but leaves it running. She looks over at Alex who is backlit from a streetlight. Lena bites her lip and Alex’s gaze darkens. They lean in at the same time; their lips meeting in the middle. Lena can feel Alex’s tongue seeking entrance, and it causes her to gasp. Alex takes the opportunity and tentatively slips her tongue in. Lena moans into and meets Alex’s tongue with her own. By the time they pull apart they are both breathless, and both of their eyes are black.

****

“Do you want to come up?” Alex husks out, and Lena’s eyebrows shoot up. 

****

“Not like that!” Alex scrambles to fix it, and starts to ramble. “I just… I just meant like for a drink… of whiskey. Not anything else. Well maybe kissing, but nothing else. Unless you want to do something else. Not that I’m pushing or anything… I just… I” She gets cut off when Lena captures her mouth once more in a kiss. This time opening her mouth for Alex’s tongue right away.

****

“You’re cute when you ramble.” Lena whispers between them when they pull away. “Yes.” She shuts the car off. “I’ll come up with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? My writing runs on kudos and comments. Just saying. Come tell me what you liked, what you want to see, or generally words.
> 
> I have plans. Not well thought out plans but plans. 
> 
> BTW this was supposed to be like 10 chapters and we aren't even halfway I feel like, so. We might be here for a bit.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date continues, plus shovel talks and flirting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos everyone. This chapter isn't as long, but I hope you enjoy it!

Alex laces their fingers together with a squeeze when Lena locks up the car. She’s about to pull her towards the building when a phone ringing interrupts them. Alex barely holds back a groan while she searches her pockets for the offending device. Lena tries to pull her hand away when Alex scrambles for the phone, but Alex just squeezes tighter.

****

“Danvers.” Alex brow furrows, and she tucks the phone in between her shoulder and ear, searching for her keys. Lena waits patiently to see if there is an emergency.

****

“Kara, I’m sure Snapper didn’t mean whatever he said.” Alex has a look of exasperation on her face and Lena snickers. _So not an emergency I guess._

****

“Kara… Kara… Kara! Why don’t you talk to Imra about this?” Lena can hear Kara’s muffled voice on the line.

****

“What do you mean she wouldn’t understand.” Alex lifts her free arm in a gesture that clearly Kara can’t see, but can hear in the tone. “She is your girlfriend and literally an empath. If anyone would understand, it would be her… No Kara, when she says she knows how you feel she means it literally, she’s not lying to make you feel better.”

****

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose and throws Lena an apologetic look. Lena motions for herself to leave, but Alex doesn’t let her hand go, pulling her closer. She mouths stay with an earnest look on her face, and Lena can’t deny her.

****

“Kara… Kara! If this isn’t an emergency, I need to go… Yes, I’m still with Lena.” Kara’s surprised yell of ‘What! Why did you answer!’ can be heard through the speaker, and Alex has to move the phone away from her ear.

****

“I answered because it could have been an emergency, but because it’s not…” Kara doesn’t let Alex finish before she yells bye and hangs up. Alex just shakes her head and puts her phone away.

****

“Sorry.” Alex smiles at Lena.

****

“It’s ok. I’m sorry she had a bad day.” Alex waves her off.

****

“This is typical. I’m sure whatever Snapper said wasn’t as bad as it seems, and if it is Kara needs to learn to stand up for herself.” Alex starts to pull Lena back towards the building.

****

“You know…” Lena starts, “I still own a controlling share in Catco, I could just fire him.” Alex smiles and pulls her in for a quick peck.

****

“That’s sweet, but I’m sure Cat wouldn’t appreciate you firing her employees without her say.” Lena just shrugs, “Besides you already bought her a company. You don’t need to do anymore.”

****

Lena huffs out a denial, but just smiles and makes her way through the door Alex holds open. The ride up the elevator is mostly silent. Filled with shy glances, and smiles. They haven’t let go of each other’s hand since Alex first took it outside, and neither ever want to let go.

****

Alex pulls her into the apartment, and nervously runs her hand through her short hair. Lena follows the movement with her eyes, and pulls Alex closer with the hand she still has ahold of. Lena nuzzles Alex’s cheek with her nose and leaves a soft kiss on it.

****

“Can I get that drink?”

****

“Y-yes.” Alex stutters out, and pulls Lena over to the kitchen area. Lena is forced to let Alex’s hand go so she can make the drinks. She hops up to sit on the barstools around the island, and watches Alex flit around the kitchen. She pours them each 2 fingers of whiskey; setting one down in front of Lena.

****

Alex leans her forearms against the island across from Lena, and takes a sip. She wants to create some distance between them, so her racing heart has a chance to calm down. Lena takes a long pull of her drink, her throat contracting, and Alex’s eyes track the movement. Alex takes another quick sip of her drink, before Lena can catch her staring.

****

“Alex?”

****

“Mmmm?” She hums around her glass, setting it down to give Lena her full attention. Lena bites her lip while looking Alex up and down.

****

“Why are you so far away?”

****

“Uh… I… uh.” Alex takes a longer pull of her drink trying to get her thoughts in order. “I didn’t want to crowd you… or I guess… pressure you? I know you haven’t… and I just…” Alex cuts herself off by finishing her whiskey, letting it burn down her throat. She sets the empty glass down, looking back at Lena with a mix of nervous excitement.

****

“Hey...” Lena reaches for Alex, pulling the other woman around to stand by her. “You’re okay. And you have no idea what it means to me that you want me to be comfortable.” Lena abandons her drink to wrap her hands around Alex’s waist. Alex mirrors her and sets her arms on her shoulders.

****

“I love that about you. You make me feel more safe than anyone ever has. Even Supergirl.” Lena jokes with a smile, making Alex laugh. “So come here.” Lena spreads her legs, and Alex steps in between them. Alex nuzzles Lena’s nose with her own, and Lena impatiently surges up to meet her lips. Alex giggles into the kiss, but moans when Lena’s tongue swipes her bottom lip. She grants entry, and their tongues start to dance around each other.

****

Alex’s hands slip under Lena’s jacket, and starts to push it off her shoulders. Lena drops her hands to aid in the jacket’s decent. They pull back for air, and lean their foreheads together. It doesn’t last long before Alex leans back down in a slow kiss. She nibbles Lena’s bottom lip, and a groan tears from CEO’s throat. Alex splays her hands on her back and scratches her way down. She slips her hands under the shirt, inching it up with her hands. Her movement is halted by Lena’s hands on her wrists. She quickly pulls back, stumbling, and drops her hands.

****

“I’m sorry… I should have asked first.” Alex rushes out breathless, with swollen lips. Lena is just as breathless, and her eyes are dark. Alex has backed up a couple feet, and Lena hops off the stool to stand in front of her again.

****

“Hey,” She wraps her hands around her neck, not before putting Alex’s hands back on her waist. “I promise to tell you if something is too much too fast, if you promise not to apologize everytime. Deal?”

****

Alex looks like she wants to apologize again, so Lena just raises an eyebrow.

****

“Okay.” Alex seems to lose some of the tension in her shoulders with that single word. Lena runs her hands up Alex’s neck and scratches at her scalp. The taller woman leaning into it with a hum.

****

“So, I’m fine with you running your hands over my back, but can we keep the clothes on for right now?” Alex nods her head quickly, dislodging it from Lena’s hands.

****

“Yes of course, I’m so-” She’s interrupted by Lena’s raised eyebrow, and closes her mouth with a click, making Lena chuckle. She pulls Alex in by the lapels of her jacket, and crashes their lips back together. Alex moans allowing Lena to slip her tongue in. She runs her hands back into Alex’s hair, loving the groan she gets from the other woman. Alex has kept her hands firmly on her waist where Lena had put them. Lena mentally rolls her eyes, and pulls back.

****

“Alex.” The woman in question just gives her a questioning look. “I gave you permission to touch me, so…”

“I… I know. I just didn’t want to push…” She’s cut off when Lena pushes Alex’s hands down firmly over her butt. Lena puts her arms back around Alex’s shoulders, but Alex is standing frozen. Alex just stares at the shorter woman in shock, before tentatively squeezing. Lena pushes back against Alex’s hands and pulls the woman back in for a kiss.

****

When breathing becomes too much of a necessity Lena pulls back. Alex doesn’t halt her lips however, and continues to trail them along Lena’s jaw and down her neck. Lena moans and Alex can feel the vibration in her lips. Alex starts to nip and suck lightly at the skin of her neck and jaw.

****

“D-don’t… mark m-me.” Lena says breathless, her hands running down Alex’s back and through her hair. Alex hums her understanding, but in all honesty, Lena would let her leave 500 marks if she asked. Alex works her way down Lena’s neck, stopping at her collarbone, and working her way back up to capture her lips again. When they pull away again they lean their foreheads against one another, and take in lungfuls of air.

****

“Wow.” “Whoa.” They say it simultaneously, and neither are sure who said which. This time it’s Lena who can’t help but stare. The other woman hasn’t opened her eyes yet, and Lena can’t stop herself from looking blissfully at her. When Alex finally does open her eyes they lock with the green ones barely inches away. Matching smiles cross their faces, and Alex leans in to peck a kiss on Lena’s kiss swollen lips. Their eyes never leave each other.

****

“Do you want another drink?” Alex says clearing her throat and backing away slightly; still within their personal bubble however.

****

“I’d love one.” Lena says, “but it’s getting kind of late.” Alex nods her understanding. She desperately wants to reach out and ask Lena to stay the night, but she knows it way to soon for that. She gets Lena’s jacket where it had been discarded on the chair and turns to help her into it. Her eyes widen when they flit down to the small red bruise forming on Lena’s clavicle. _Way to go Alex. She asks for one thing._

****

“What?” Lena saw her eyes widen, and looks down trying to see what Alex is looking at. Alex is rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish smile.

****

“Uh… I may have underestimated my strength.” Lena just looks confused. Alex motions to her own neck and says, “I accidentally left a bruise on your clavicle. I’m sorry.” Alex gives her a nervous smile, and Lena pulls out a mirror to look at the damage. The bruise is small, but clearly has teeth imprints. The sight makes her more turned on then she would like to admit, and it confuses her; whenever boyfriend’s marked her it made her angry, but Alex marking her as hers, it made Lena swallow harshly. Alex still looks nervous, so Lena walks over and wraps her arms around her waist.

****

“That’s ok.” Lena leans in a kisses her. “I forgive you.” Lena kisses her cheek. “Besides…” She husks in her ear with a surge of confidence she didn’t realize she had, “I think it’s kind of hot to have your mark on me.” Alex’s breath hitches, and she has to clear it three times to get her voice back to normal.

****

“Tease.” Lena laughs bright and open, and Alex isn’t sure she will ever get used to being allowed to witness it. Alex walks her to the door, making Lena promise to text when she’s home. Her phone dings a few minutes later, and Alex looks down at it seeing a text from Lucy.

****

**Luce: Danvers, if you’re not getting any call me**

****

Alex’s eyes roll so hard her mom would say they are going to get stuck, but she still blushes.

****

***

****

“So I got the shovel talk.” Kara spits out half way through her lunch with Lena. The other woman just raises a curious eyebrow.

****

“Who gave you a shovel talk?” As far as Lena knew Imra didn’t have any family to speak of; at least not in this time period.

****

“Lucy.” Kara answers with a pointed look to Lena. Her assumption that Lena knows what she’s talking about falls flat when Lena gives her a confused look.

****

“I didn’t realize her and Imra were that close. Honestly I though her and Susan were closer…” Kara shakes her head, realizing her mistake.

****

“No, no, no. Not a shovel talk for Imra. This was your shovel talk.”

****

“Mine?” Lena asks incredulously.

****

“Yep.” Kara pops the p.

****

“Why were you getting my shovel talk? And do I have one coming too?” Lena asks with amusement that quickly turns to apprehension.

****

“Apparently I brought you into our, i.e. Alex’s life, so you are my responsibility. And yes I would expect Lucy any day now.” Kara says with humor, but quickly picks up on the anxious state her friend is in.

****

“She doesn’t like me?” Lena tries for hard and emotionless, but her anxiety seeps through. Kara quickly puts her hand on Lena’s forearm, rubbing soothing circles onto it.

****

“No, Lena, no… I shouldn’t have… that isn’t what this means… Lucy likes you.” Lena gives her an unbelieving look. “She does, I promise. She is just being the over protective and annoying best friend.” Lena chews on her bottom lip, and grasps Kara’s hand.

****

“But,” Lena has allowed the worry to fully take over her voice, “What if Lucy decides she doesn’t like me? What if the shovel talk goes badly, and she tells Alex to stay away from me? What if…” Lena has gone into a full panic now, and Kara curses her loud mouth.

****

“Hey, Lena. Hey, hey. Alex would never do that, she’s crazy about you. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but, I’ve never seen her happier than she is with you right now. Lucy can see that too.” Kara gives her a reassuring smile.

****

“Besides, it wouldn’t even matter what anyone said, if Alex wants to be with you she will be. No one can ever tell Alex Danvers what to do. It’s what made her a terrible teenager.” Kara says with a laugh, getting a small one out of Lena.

****

“I’m sorry I stressed you out. Honestly, I’m sure it won’t be a big deal. Lucy cares about Alex; Alex cares about you; so Lucy will care about you. Okay?” Lena nods.

****

“I’m sorry I freaked out. If mother could see me now.” Lena pulls back and shakes her head with a huff. “I just… really like your sister. I hope you know that.” Kara gives her the biggest beaming smile, and Lena finds herself being crushed in a supersized hug.

****

“Hu-human. Ju-ust hu-u-uman.” Lena squeaks out.

****

“Oh Rao! I’m sorry! I’m just so excited!” Kara squeals and Lena can’t help the large smile that crosses her face.

****

“I am too. I just saw her last night, but I can’t wait to see her again.” Lena’s smile has grown, and Kara squees. “In fact, I had an idea for a weekend date, but I want your opinion.”

****

***

****

Lucy and Alex are going over plans for a future raid planned for later this month, when they are interrupted by a knock on the door. Both women look up from the desk to see Sam leaning against the door jam.

****

“Sam, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Alex asks, but Lucy quickly cuts in front of her before she can reach the other woman.

****

“Better question is what’s your favorite kind of pleasure.” Lucy says with a grin, ignoring Alex’s sigh of exasperation behind her. She sticks out her hand, her smile becoming cheeky.

****

“Lucy Lane. Director…”

****

“Co-Director”

****

“... of the DEO, and Alex’s greatest friend.” Alex rolls her eyes, but to Alex’s surprise Sam gives Lucy a cheeky smile back and shakes her hand.

****

“Sam Arias. CFO for L-Corp, and Lena’s gayest friend.” Alex practically face-palms when Lucy guffaws.

****

“And I’ll tell you my favorite pleasure if you tell me yours.” Sam husks, and Lucy’s jaw drops. Alex can’t believe what she is seeing but someone has finally stunned Lucy speechless. Sam gives her one last smile, and turns her attention back to Alex.

****

“So Alex, if you aren’t busy I thought we could have lunch.” Alex looks at Lucy’s frozen state, back to Sam’s smirk and just shakes her head.

****

“Sure. Let’s go.” Alex motions her out of the office.

****

“It was great to meet you Lucy.” Sam smiles and winks at the other woman, as she walks out the door. Lucy stutters for a few seconds before Alex smacks her on her way out.

****

“Gr-great to meet you too!” Lucy calls after them.

****

They take Sam’s car, and head to a sushi place that they both love. Sam pulls Alex to a table in the back; away from prying eyes and ears. Alex is unconcerned about where they sit, and follows along easily. They each order a few rolls, deciding they can share back and forth. Once the waiter leaves Sam crosses her hands in front of her and rests her chin on them. The intense look on her face is causing Alex to shift in her seat, and she’s starting to feel like a student kept after class.

****

“This isn’t just a friendly lunch is it?” Alex asks after a couple of awkward minutes.

****

“Nope.” Sam says popping the P. Alex waits for her to go on, but she doesn’t.

****

“So… Are you going to tell me what you want to tell me?” Sam narrows her eyes at the other woman. Someone she considers a close friend at this point. Another Aunt for Ruby, and someone who would die for the people she loves. But, she’s also someone holding Lena’s heart in her hands.

****

“How long have we known each other?”

****

“Uhh…” To say Alex is surprised by the question is an understatement, “A little over a year, give or take?”

****

“Hmmm… and would you say I am fiercely protective over the people I care about?”

****

“Yes?” Alex looks confused, “Sam what are you trying to say?... Oh my god is something wrong with Ruby?!”

****

“No she’s fine.” Sam says quickly to squash Alex’s obvious panic over her daughters well being. It makes Sam smile internally, but her serious look is still in place.

****

“Okay… then…”

****

“Lena is a very special person.” Sam crosses her arms, and the lightbulb in Alex’s mind finally clicks on.

****

“Is this a shovel talk?”

****

“Yes.” Sam says with a deadly serious tone in her voice, that makes even a hardened agent like Alex gulp.

****

“Okay... Is it ok if I say something?” Alex asks unsure, and not wanting to interrupt if there was a speech planned or something. Sam waves her to continue.

****

“Well I just want to say that Lena isn’t special…” the eyebrow lift Sam does could make grown men weep. “She’s beyond special. She’s the most amazing person I have ever had the privilege of talking to, let alone date, and I don’t deserve her. She’s out of my league and I’m aware. But so long as she chooses me, I’ll try my hardest to make her as happy as I can. I promise.”

****

Sam’s arms had been crossed this entire time, with an unreadable expression on her face. Once Alex finished what she wanted to say she mirrored her position. They stayed like that for a few seconds, before Sam broke with a smile. Alex breathed out a sigh of relief, and was thankful that she ordered a beer with lunch. She took a long pull of it, and let out another sigh.

****

“I approve. But if you hurt her…” Alex lifted her hand to halt Sam’s sentence.

****

“If I ruin this. If I hurt her. The line to hit me will start with me, but you can have the second swing.” Sam nodded her approval, and gives Alex another smile.

****

“You can count on it.” Sam says. Her face softens slightly, moving away from the deadly seriousness it had held moments before. “I also wanted to thank you Alex.”

****

“Thank me?” Alex looks adorably confused; scrunched eyebrows and head tilt.

****

“Lena told me about how cool you were with her…” Sam gestures vaguely with her hand, “lack of experience. It’s an insecurity of hers, and she worried about telling you. You and I both know some women who would never touch a baby gay with a ten-foot pole, but not you.”

****

Alex’s mind can’t help but flash to Maggie when they first met, and how hurt she was when she had been rejected initially. She would never do that to someone else, let alone Lena.

****

“I would never judge someone for a lack of experience,” Alex says bitterly, “And I would never pressure Lena to do anything she isn’t comfortable with. If all she wanted to do was hold hands for the rest of our lives I would be happy.”

****

Sam gives her a soft look and Alex’s words take a moment to catch up to her.

****

“The rest of your lives?” Alex isn’t sure what to say, but denial isn’t a road she wants to go down.

****

“Yes.” Alex gulps down her nerves, “I know it’s early, but I’ve never felt like this before Sam. I’m falling, hard, and I desperately don’t want to mess this up.” Sam gives her a soft smile.

****

“You’re a good egg Alex. I give you my blessing for any future you two might share.” Alex can’t stop the large smile that covers her face.

****

“Thank you Sam. That means a lot coming from Lena’s family.” Sam beams at being called Lena’s family, and she squeezes Alex’s arm.

****

The food finally arrives, along with another round of drinks. Work has been forgotten about apparently, and they start to dig in. The topics stay light and fun. Sam tells Alex about Ruby’s science project; Alex promises to help her, along with promising Lena will help too. They are on their fifth round of drinks - Sam had switched to water a few rounds back - when Alex smirks over at her and finally voices the question she had been dying to ask.

****

“So what the hell was that…” Alex gestures with her hand, “back in my office? Are you just fucking with Lucy or...”

****

“She’s hot.” Well Alex wasn’t expecting that answer. “She’s completely my type. I would absolutely say yes to a date if she asked, and I’m surprised you haven’t introduced us earlier.”

****

“Well damn, don’t beat around the bush.” Alex laughs. “To be fair I didn’t know what your type was. You want me to set you two up?”

****

Sam shakes her head, “No, I’ll just drop you back off, and see how it goes.” Sam smirks, and Alex just shakes her head wondering if putting the two of them together is a good idea.

****

“Speaking of,” Alex looks at her watch, “I’m buzzed, but I still need to get back to work.” They pay their check, and make their way back to Sam’s car. A short ride later, and Kara is helping a stumbling, little more than buzzed, Alex out of the car. Sam laughs thinking she should have cut Alex off a few beers ago, but shrugs it off.

****

“I see you brought Danvers back, mostly in one piece.” Lucy laughs walking up to Sam. Sam looks the agent up and down, and steps into her space. Lucy doesn’t back up, but tilts her head to look Sam in the eyes. She smirks when Sam’s eyes dart down to her lips for a split second.

****

“You free tonight?” Sam asks in a low voice.

****

“Depends.”

****

“On?”

****

“Will you be leaving me in one piece?” Sam smirks, leaning in close to Lucy’s ear. Her breath makes Lucy shudder involuntarily..

****

“Not if I can help it.”

****

***

****

It takes two days for Lucy to show up at Lena’s office for the shovel talk. In that time Alex and Lena had gone out on a third, albeit coffee, date, and Lena felt herself falling head over heels for the woman. In fact she had been dreamly staring into the distance, thinking about Alex, when Jess buzzed her.

****

“Yes?”

****

“I have a Director Lucy Lane here for you Miss Luthor. She doesn’t have an appointment.” Lena takes a deep breath, and clicks the intercom.

****

“Send her in.”

****

Lucy struts in with an attitude only gained in the military. She walks over and sets herself down in the chairs before Lena’s desk.

****

“Director Lane, what can I do for you?” Lena holds her head high, ready for whatever Lucy might say.

****

“Call me Lucy.”

****

“Then call me Lena.” Lucy nods in acknowledgement.

****

“I assume you know why I’m here.” Lucy says getting straight to business.

****

“I do. Say whatever you need to say, but know this.” Lena lifts her hand to stop anything Lucy might say. “I would never, ever do anything to harm Alex.”

****

“I know.” Lena looks surprised, but quickly shifts back to neutral.

****

“You do?”

****

“Don’t act all surprised Lena. I know you are a good person, and would never intentionally hurt Alex.” Lucy says with an ease that surprises Lena once again, “But as her best friend I still have to tell you that I will end you if you ever break her heart. She seems like a badass, but in reality she’s just a giant marshmallow.” Lucy chuckles and Lena gives her a small smile.

****

“Well I will take the warning seriously.” Lena says earnestly. Lucy nods and almost gets up before being stopped by Lena, “And just so you know Major badass,” Lena says sarcastically, “if you even think of hurting Sam, I will end you.” Lena pulls out her sternest look, the one reserved for her board, and it makes Lucy gulp.

****

“Understood.” Lena gives her a big smile. Lucy breathes out a sigh of relief, and wonders when her shovel talk got flipped upside down. Lucy gets up to go, and turns around stopping in her tracks.

****

“No way!” She excitedly runs over to the guitar hanging on the wall. “Is this American Psycho’s guitar?”

****

“Yes it is.” Lena says somewhat proudly.

****

“That’s so cool. Do you know American Psycho?” Lucy looks back at Lena catching the end of her deer in headlights look before she schools it into something nonchalant.

****

“N-n-no.” Lucy narrows her eyes at Lena’s reaction before turning back to the guitar.

****

“How did you get the guitar then?” Lena swallows harshly at the memory of Lex giving her the guitar.

****

“Lex.” Lucy hums in acknowledgement, but has a feeling there is more to the story.

****

“Has Alex seen it?”

****

“What?” Lena hates that her voice has risen an octave. She clears it and tries again, “Why?” Lucy had looked back over at the squeaky question, and her eyes study the other woman. _Why is she acting skittish now? There’s more to this._

****

“Alex always struck me as a secret fan.” Lucy shrugs, and looks back at the guitar. She hovers her hand over the body of it, not yet touching. “She never admitted it, but I’ve caught her humming some of the songs.”

****

“Yes she’s seen it.” Lena gets out in a normal voice. Lucy nods her head, and finally strokes the guitar a few times before looking back at Lena. She has an unreadable expression on her face as she walks closer to Lena’s desk.

****

“Was there anything else?” Lena says with forced calm, but inside she’s freaking out. Lucy nods her head and looks down somewhat shyly. The move makes Lena even more nervous, because she’s never known this woman to be anything other than cocky and confident.

****

“What’s Sam’s favorite type of chocolate?” Lucy asks when she looks back up, “And Ruby’s too.”

****

Lena’s face softens into a smile at how sweet the other woman is. _God, does the DEO only employ the softest bad asses._

****

“Dove for Sam. Hershey for Ruby.”

****

“Thanks Lena.” Lucy has a big smile on her face when she walks out of the office. Lena can’t help shake her head, but quickly pulls up her text thread with Alex.

****

**We need to talk. Call me.**

****

***

****

Alex sees her phone ping and opens the text from Lena with excitement. Unfortunately when she opens it the color drains from her face at the words, and she starts to panic. Shakily she calls Lena, who picks up on the second ring.

****

“Alex?”

****

“Yes?” Alex asks nervously, which must come through over the phone.

****

“Calm down darling. I didn’t mean to make you panic.” Alex hasn’t calmed down at the words; holding her breath. “Alex breathe, I’m not breaking up with you.” Alex lets out a rush of air finally.

****

“Oh my god, don’t scare me like that babe.” Alex can hear Lena softly laughing on the other end.

****

“I’m sorry darling.”

****

“Since you’re not breaking up with me, what’s up then?” Alex finally taking a relaxing breath.

****

“Lucy came by to see me.”

****

“She did?” Surprise is evident in her voice.

****

“Yep, and she saw the guitar.”

****

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? If you want to make my day with a comment I won't stop you! 
> 
> I'm attempting to write both Lena and Alex as confident and insecure at the same time. I don't know if I am accomplishing it, but I'm trying y'all. Also, I have to say Lucy and Sam was not at all planned. It just sort of happened.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a look at some of the other relationships, and Alex spills a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I UPDATED IT WITH AN EXTENDED SCENE*
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait. It's been the busiest month of my life. I hope you guys like. There was minimal editing, so I might go back and update some things after the fact. Thank you for all the comments and kudos, it means the world.
> 
> And whoever asked for more Vasquez I gave you more Vasquez.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I’m telling you Sam, Lena and Alex are up to something.” Lucy says to the woman ogling her lips. It’s finally Friday night and Lucy was determined to take Sam out on a real date. Not a date that never left her bedroom, but a real out in public date. She had also been determined to do it right; Sam deserved that much.

****

\-----

****

**_2 hours ago_ **

****

_“I’ll get it!” Sam can hear Ruby shout shortly after the knock echoed through the house. Sam’s eyebrows furrow, wondering who would be at the door._

****

_“Mom it’s for you!” Sam starts towards the door, “Says her names Lucy!” Sam’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline and she moves faster towards the door._

****

_On the other side of the door is a sheepish looking Lucy with her hands behind her back._

****

_“Thanks baby,” Sam says to Ruby, kissing the top of her head. “Why don’t you go back into the living room and play your new game.” Ruby nods quickly and heads off for the living room before she’s stopped by Lucy calling out to her._

****

_“These… um are for… you.” Lucy holds out the cute box of hershey kisses for Ruby to take. The teen’s face as lit up and she quickly grabs the chocolate._

****

_“Thank you!” Ruby says to Lucy and looks over towards her mom. She leans in closer to her and says with a hushed tone, “I like her.” Sam gives her daughter a look, but the blush on her cheeks darkens. Ruby just gives her a too sweet smile and heads off to the living room._

****

_“These are for you.” Lucy brings her other hand out from behind her back. In it are four chocolate roses. “I’m sorry for just dropping in, but I wanted to ask if you would like to go out with me tonight?” The hopeful look on Lucy’s face is so sweet that Sam feels terrible letting her down._

****

_“That… sounds great Lucy, but…” Lucy keeps her face neutral, hoping she doesn’t look as disappointed as she feels. “I have no one to watch Ruby…”_

****

_“MOM! I”M FOURTEEN NOT FOUR!!” Ruby yells from the living room where she has clearly been listening in this entire time. Sam can’t help but chuckle, but sputters and blushes when Ruby adds, “go have a good night with your girlfriend!”_

****

_Lucy can’t stop the loud laugh that comes out of her, and puts out her hand for Sam to take. Sam grabs her coat and reaches for Lucy’s outstretched hand._

****

_“Rubes, call me if you need anything! Remember to finish your homework, and don’t stay up to late! I love you!”_

****

_“Love you too mom!” Ruby yells as Sam is closing the door. She turns to see Lucy smiling at her, the light from above the door casting them both in a warm glow. Lucy leans in, giving Sam a slow chaste kiss. Sam pulls her in, deepening the kiss for a moment, before she backs away with a hum._

****

_“So Girlfriend,” Lucy tests out the word and gets a smile in response._

****

_“I wasn’t planning on telling Ruby about us this soon.” Sam says, and Lucy’s eyes widen. Before she can panic Sam leans in to peck her lips. “But bringing her chocolate was very sweet.”_

****

_“Well,” Lucy gives her a shy smile, “I know the two of you are a package deal, and I wanted to show you that she will always be included. In everything. I want to invest time into this Sam, and I know that means making a connection with Ruby too. Of course on your terms, I would never do anything without your approval. Although I should have asked, before just showing up and giving her candy, but I figured it would be ok...” Lucy continues to nervously ramble. Clearly she has spent too much time with Kara. However, Sam is floored, and cuts off Lucy with a kiss. She lunges at Lucy and pours every emotion and passion into the kiss. She nearly knocks the shorter woman over, but Lucy grabs onto her back before she can tumble to the ground._

****

\-----

****

Now here they were in a lowly lit bar. Three strong drinks in, and Sam is practically on top of Lucy.

****

“Mmmhmm,” Sam responds. Too distracted by the way Lucy is licking the whiskey off of her bottom lip, to hear a word she’s saying.

****

“Sam are you listening?” Lucy asks with amusement. The other woman hasn’t made eye contact in 10 minutes. Sam nods her head, and leans in closer.

****

“Oh really? So what did I…” Lucy is cut off by Sam surging to meet her lips, and she doesn’t even care what she was talking about at this point. Lucy moans into the kiss and threads her fingers into Sam’s hair. Sam has slipped her hands under Lucy’s shirt in the back, and starts scratching down with her blunt fingernails. The move makes Lucy arch into her, and in retaliation she pulls Sam’s head back by her hair. The other woman gasps, and her eyes are blown wide when she opens them.

****

“Want to get out of here?” Sam husks out. Lucy is still holding her back by her hair; her eyes tracking down the lean muscles of Sam’s throat. She loosens her grip on the woman’s hair and leans in. Sam leans in to meet her halfway, before Lucy detours down and bites onto the woman’s pulse point. Sam groans, and attempts to pull Lucy in closer. Lucy lets go of her pulse point and kisses her way up to Sam’s ear.

****

“Let’s go.” Lucy pulls Sam out of the booth, and they both hear a ding. Groaning Lucy drops Sam’s hand to shuffle through her pockets for the offending device. She pulls it out and sees she has a text from Alex.

****

**Grumpy Danvers: Lane if you aren’t getting any, call me**

****

Lucy can’t help roll her eyes at Alex throwing her words back at her. “I was about to be.” Lucy grumbles in irritation. She looks over at Sam with earnest and apologetic eyes.

****

“I’m sorry, I need to call Alex. I’m sure it’s nothing. Will you wait?” Lucy hopes her evening won’t be cut short. Sam leans in and gives her a slow, yet chaste kiss.

****

“Of course I’ll wait.” Sam smirks and smacks Lucy on the ass. “I’ll just go pay.” Lucy’s jaw had dropped at the action, and it takes her a few moments to recover before she dials up Alex.

****

“Danvers if this isn’t an emergency, I’m busy.” Lucy says without a greeting. She rolls her eyes at the chuckle she gets in response.

****

“Yes I am with Sam.” Lucy frowns while Alex talks to her on the other side of the phone. She can hear Lena in the background slightly.

****

“Yeah sure. What time?” Lucy nods, “Okay we’ll see you then.” Lucy hangs up the phone without a goodbye when she sees Sam saunter over. The taller woman wraps her arms around Lucy’s neck, and pulls her in for a kiss. Lucy runs her hands down Sam’s back until they are resting in her back pockets.

****

“Everything okay?” Sam asks when she pulls back. Lucy nods, and pecks her lips.

****

“Yes, Alex just wants us to come over tomorrow night. Says she has something to tell us both.” Sam’s brow furrows.

****

“Do you think it’s about her and Lena?” Lucy just shrugs.

****

“I don’t know, but I told you they are up to something. Even Kara was acting weird.”

****

“Well, we will find out tomorrow…” Sam smirks. “As for tonight.” Sam leans close to Lucy’s ear, whispering in it, and lightly biting her ear lobe. Whatever she says nearly make Lucy’s knees buckle, and Sam leans back with a smug expectant look. Lucy pulls her hands out of Sam’s pockets to grab her hand, pulling her towards the exit. She quickly pulls them out of the bar, nearly crashing into people, and Sam just laughs, carefree and breathless.

****

***

****

Kara had unfortunately spent the majority of her Friday off putting out a fire in the docks. It was a hot blaze that refused to completely die down. Fortunately there was no casualties, due to the area being mostly abandoned. It took team work from supergirl, the NCPD, and the NCFD to finally get the blaze extinguished. The officials are calling it arson, due to the nature of the fire. Either way it has left Kara exhausted, and covered in soot.

****

She flies into her living room and smiles at what she finds. Imra and Susan huddled under blankets with serious looks on their face. The Switch controllers gripped in their hands. Imra is holding the reinforced one Lena developed after a few too many had succumbed to the competitive pressures of Mario Kart.

****

Kara looks over to the TV, and yep they are playing Mario Kart. Neither has acknowledged her presence, and she looks to see that they are on the last lap. She crosses her arms and watches Imra’s Rosalind go head to head with Susan’s Kirby. Imra is inching ahead before a blue shell seems to come out of nowhere knocking her out and Kirby flies by with a smug pink wave, matched by their driver’s smug smile.

****

“Whoop!” Kara laughs at Susan’s yell of excitement, and Imra is pouting. Kara is so happy that Imra has developed a close friend in this time period. It was a completely unexpected friendship, but she’s so grateful that they have each other.

****

\-----

**_2018_ **

****

_Imra had been in an interrogation room for about three hours at this point. She wasn’t being questioned, in fact she was completely alone. She was looking for peace and quiet; allow her conscious mind to flow into the subconscious. When life became overwhelming, she sought out solitude and meditation. Kara understood; she too has had similar urges at times. She had kissed her and told her to come find her if she needed anything._

****

_That was three hours ago. Now she was attempting to find peace, quiet, and tranquility in this room with a metal table and blank cold walls. It was almost the perfect spot for her meditation when no one was around, but her powers allowed her to sense others right outside the room. She knew there were people walking by and watching her, she could sense them, but she didn’t care._

****

_At the moment she felt three souls on the other side of the glass. Her eyes have remained closed, but her mind is flying through her life. She is working through her emotions, but she can still sense emotions that don’t belong to her. The three on the otherside are filled with a mix of wonder, curiosity, and pity. It was, unfortunately, a well known thing around the DEO that she had lost her entire family in the future. That by saving them in the past, she didn’t create a space for herself to return in the future._

****

_She had tried to go back. But she ended up in a life that wasn’t hers, with memories she wasn’t a part of. It had been too painful to stay, and the superfriends had welcomed her back with open arms; Kara had welcomed her into her heart. She was content just knowing that they were safe and happy in the future; even if she couldn’t be apart of it. But days like this; her sister’s birthday; these days were hard._

****

_A fourth soul had joined the three watching her. Imra could hear muffled yelling through the door. The third soul was filled with anger, and… surprisingly enough empathy. The feeling of mutual pain startled Imra out of her meditation. She blinked her eyes open and walked to the door. She opened it to find a young female agent on the other side._

****

_“I’m sorry if I interrupted Ma’am.” The woman says. Imra looks at her curiously. The woman is nothing if not professional on the outside, but she can still feel the empathy rolling off of her in waves. It’s mixed with a deep rooted pain; the emotions all too similar to her current state for Imra to handle. She attempts to block out her powers, and gives her a sad smile._

****

_“Call me Imra.” She puts her hand out._

****

_“Agent Vasquez Ma’…” Imra just raises an eyebrow, “Susan.”_

****

_“Nice to meet you Susan.” She drops her hand an motions behind the agent. “Thank you for getting rid of the other Agents. It’s hard enough for me to calm my own emotions without other’s clouding it.” Imra starts to turn back to the room, but Susan calls out to her before she can leave._

****

_“I might have a better idea.” The smile is only slightly mischievous, and Imra finds her heart lightning just slightly. She follows her down to a lower level, and is soon faced with a multitude of doors._

****

_“Wait here for a second.” Susan says before running off. Imra takes a look around her. She’s never been down in this level, but can tell the rooms around her are cells. Each door seems to be equipped with a tablet, and a multitude of controls. Imra reaches her hand out to touch the closest one, but Susan’s reappearance interupts her. She walks up to the tablet Imra had been about to touch, and punches in a few codes. She attaches another tablet, and begins to work on it. Barely any time has passed before she’s unhooking the tablet, and the door clicks open._

****

_“These were cells designed to contain metahumans.” Susan says opening the door, “they will tamp down your powers, so you won't feel anyone beyond this room. It won’t harm you, and I’ve set the lock to be permanently unlocked.” Imra walks in a takes a look around. There’s a table bolted to the ground, and a bed in the corner. She turns back to Susan and gives her a small smile._

****

_“Thank you.” She nods and starts to leave._

****

_“Who did you lose?” Imra calls out before Susan can get too far. She looks back to Imra with furrowed brows. “You’re pain, it felt familiar.”_

****

_“My family…” She looks down, and turns back around, “all of them.” She shoots Imra an understanding yet sad smile over her shoulder and makes her way out of the room. She shuts the door behind her, and tapes a note on the door._

****

**_Do Not Disturb Under Punishment Of A Director Danvers Training Session_ **

****

\-----

****

“Awww, baby come here.” Kara opens her arms to hug Imra, but gets a hand pressed into her chest instead. She frowns looking down until Imra lets go and a poof of dust comes off of her. Kara gets an understanding look on her face, and runs off to the shower. A dust cloud in the shape of her is left where she was just standing, and Imra just smiles in amusement, shaking her head.

****

Susan holds out the broom to Imra, and bends down with the dustpan. This isn’t the first time they have tag teamed cleaning up after the kryptonian puppy. It’s pretty quick clean up. Luckily Kara hadn’t been wet and muddy as well as dusty.

****

“Thanks Susan.” Imra says when she hands the broom back to the other woman. She leaves her to put the stuff away while she pulls out dishes for dinner.

****

“Well, I should get going.” Susan says putting her hands into the pocket of her skinny jeans, and shooting Imra a smile. “Let you two have your Friday night, without me third wheeling you.”

****

“Nonsense, it’ll be an impromptu family night.” Imra says already setting out three plates. She says nothing else, just continues to set three places, not letting Susan get a chance to argue. All too soon Kara is bounding out of the bedroom clean and in sweats. She throws an extra pair at Susan with a smile. Susan catches them mid air and heads to the bathroom to change, not bothering to argue with that sunny smile she gets. Kara bounds over to Imra and sweeps her into a superhuman bone crushing hug. Imra hugs her back just as tightly. They enjoy the comfort of the tightness, something they only experience with each other.

****

“Did you have fun with Susan today?” Kara asks when she pulls back. She steps around Imra and pulls out three waters from the fridge. They are interrupted by the food being delivered, and Kara runs over to grab it. She sets it down on the counter by Imra, and gives her a sweet kiss for ordering extra potstickers.

****

“Yes, we just hung out around here all day. It was nice to spend time with her. We’ve both been so busy, it was nice to sit and do nothing all day.” Imra says, taking the food from Kara to put on the table. Kara takes in the state of her apartment for the first time since she’s come home. There are empty cups and three empty chip bags by the couch. The blankets look like a tornado has flown through the apartment. The cushions clearly have been pulled off the couch at one point. And the cords to her gaming systems have been pulled out, and rearranged. Kara narrows her eyes at that detail specifically.

****

“So while I’ve been busy saving people from a fire, exhausting myself by the way, you two…” Kara motions between them when Susan comes back out wearing a red t-shirt and sweatpants borrowed from Kara. She’s here enough though that they might as well be hers. “Have been lazying around playing Mario Kart for six hours? Because if that’s true I’m going to be really grumpy.”  Kara pouts at Imra, who reaches out to smooth it away.

****

“We didn’t play Mario Kart for 6 hours, love.” Imra says with a sweet smile. Kara doesn’t believe her, and the smirk she is getting from Susan isn’t helping.

****

“It’s true we didn’t play Mario Kart for 6 hours...we also played Lego Star Wars.” Susan adds unhelpfully, and Imra giggles at Kara’s eye roll.

****

“Technicality.” They both laugh at Kara’s put out face, but Susan’s phone going off interrupts them.

****

“Vasquez.” And in three seconds the woman Imra had been goofing off with all day is all business once again.

****

“Director Danvers…” Kara perks up at the mention of her sister. “Ok...Alex… Uhuh. Yes I can be there at seven.” Susan’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Yeah I’m with Imra and Kara.” Susan tilts the phone off of her mouth, and directs to Kara, “Alex says that you need to rest and sit in the sun tomorrow.” Kara rolls her eyes at her sister’s overprotectiveness.

****

“Tell her I’m fine.” Kara huffs out petulantly.

****

“She says she’s fine.” Susan says into the phone.

****

“Alex says she doesn’t believe you.” Susan says to Kara.

****

“Kara is rolling her eyes again.” Susan says into the phone.

****

“Alex says either you sit in the sun tomorrow or you go to the DEO tonight.” Susan says to Kara.

****

“Tell her…” Kara starts.

****

“Ok as much fun as this is…” Susan says to both sisters, “I’m not an owl.” She can hear both sister snort at that, and Lena’s laughter in the background. Imra just looks slightly confused, and Kara whispers that she’ll explain later.

****

“Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Susan hangs up the phone.

****

“What did Alex want?” Kara asks, “Besides to bug me.”

****

“She says she has something to tell me, and to be at her house by seven tomorrow.” Kara and Imra share a knowing look, and smile at Susan. She just narrows her eyes at the two of them.

****

“You know what it’s about don’t you.”

****

“Correct.”

****

“You’re not going to tell me are you.”

****

“Also correct.”

****

“Fine, let’s get the food unpacked then. I’m starving.” Susan smirks, and to Kara’s horror she reaches for the potstickers.

****

***

****

“Alex, baby, you need to calm down.” Lena attempts to reach out to the pacing woman, but isn’t quite fast enough. Lucy, Sam, and Vasqeuz should be at Alex’s place in about 30 minutes, and the woman in question isn’t handling her stress very well. She’s been pacing for about 20 minutes, and finally Lena has had enough. When Alex starts to turn around, she moves her body in the intended pathway. Alex crashes right into the shorter woman, and Lena reaches out to steady here.

****

“Alex…” Lena reaches up to capture her face. “It’s going to be fine.” She punctuates the statement with a chaste kiss. Soothingly running her thumbs over the woman’s cheek bones.

****

“You want to tell me specifically what’s worrying you?” Lena ask, continuing to rub her face with her right hand, while her left goes back to scratch at Alex’s scalp.

****

“What if they hate me?” Alex says in a small voice. Lena’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion, “What if they are upset that I lied to them, and they hate me for keeping this massive secret. What if they look at me differently after finding out about AP? My personal life was always kept personal, but I still had a reputation, and what if…” Lena cuts her off with a soft kiss.

****

“Baby, first of all, no one could possibly hate you.” Lena has wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck, holding her close. “Secondly, you are still Alex. You are caring and sweet, and a badass with a soft squishy center.” Lena laughs. Alex rolls her eyes, but can’t help the wet laugh that escapes. “Your friends love you, and that isn’t going to change. I promise.”

****

“Really?” Alex asks much calmer than she had been 5 minutes ago. Lena nuzzles her cheek with her nose, leaving a soft kiss there.

****

“Yes I promise. The only thing I see changing is what Lucy teases you about.” Alex groans, and Lena can’t help but laugh.

****

“She’s already a pain in my ass, this is just going to make it worse isn’t it?” Lena just smiles, and there’s a knock on the door. Alex tenses up in her arms, so Lena gives her a tight squeeze. She lets go and walks over to the door. Vasquez is standing on the other side of it, and Lena has to blink a couple times to adjust to seeing the woman out of a DEO uniform. She motions the woman in, but doesn’t close the door when she sees Sam and Lucy hurrying down the hall.

****

“Hey, sorry we’re late.” Lucy says, her and Sam running up as Lena holds the door open for them.

****

“Although it looks like we may have been interrupting something.” Sam smirks, and Alex looks confused. Lucy motions to her own cheek.

****

“You got a little something there.” Alex blushes and rubs at her cheek, her hand coming away with some of Lena’s lipstick.

****

“Sorry.” Lena says quietly to Alex, then addresses the group. “Would you guys like something to drink?”

****

“No!” Alex interrupts, before any of them can answer. She clears her throat, when everyone gives her a startled look. “Drinking and this topic haven’t mixed well.” Alex explains, and Lena tries to hold in her smile. She heard about the dual choking from both sisters, and of course her own choking experience.

****

Alex has begun to pace again, and fidget with her hands. Lena doesn’t stop her this time, and just waits for Alex to work through it at her own speed.

****

“Why don’t you guys… uh… sit down.” Alex motions to her couch, and all four of them take a seat. Lucy and Sam sit close together, and Lena and Vasqeuz sit on either side of them. Lena is closest to Alex, who has resumed her pacing.

****

“Well… I asked you guys here… because… well there’s something I wanted to tell you.” Alex is running her hands through her hair nervously. “It isn’t a bad thing… I just didn’t know how to say it… and it's been a point in my life I’ve sorta… kinda… blocked out. But it's still a part of who I am… and you three are my best friends… yes Lucy you are my greatest friend.” Alex says before Lucy can interrupt her. Although the other woman doesn’t look like she had planned to interrupt anytime soon. All three are looking at Alex with curiosity and concern.

****

“I don’t know how to say it so maybe I should just blurt it out.” Alex looks to Lena, who gives her a encouraging smile. Alex takes a deep breath, and everyone is on the edge of their seats.

****

“I was American Psycho.”

****

The silence that surrounded that statement was deafening. A cotton ball dropping would have echoed in the silence. Alex is biting her lip nervously, and fidgeting with her hands. She reaches out for Lena’s hand who quickly interlaces their fingers. Her eyes flit from Lucy to Sam to Vasquez. Lucy looks shocked, with a mix of ‘I call bullshit’ face. Sam’s jaw has dropped open, and seems to be re-evaluating her entire life. Vasquez looks completely neutral, and Alex isn’t sure if it’s her training her something else. Vasquez looks to the two woman next her, and can’t help the snort that comes out at the look on their faces.

****

“Well, thank you for trusting me with this Alex.” Vasquez says calmly giving Alex a smile. Alex looks to be in shock from her response, so Lena narrows her eyes at the woman sitting next to her.

****

“Why do you seem calmer than you should be?” Lena asks. Vasquez looks between the two woman to her right, both still working through their emotions and memories, and back to Alex and Lena.

****

“I knew.” Alex chokes on air.

****

“What?! How?!” She gasps out after her coughing fit, which seemed to have roused the other two, who are now looking at Alex with unreadable expressions.

****

“Alex while you are zoned out in your lab you tend to hum or sing.” Vasquez says with a smile, “It wasn’t that hard for me to put two and two together. Not many people can imitate… well you.” Alex blushes, and Lucy shakes her head out like she’s been asleep for years.

****

“Wait what!!” Lucy nearly shouts. Unnecessary considering the apartment is still deadly silent. “You… and song… and” Lucy’s eyes widen, “scientist lifestyle!” She gets four matching sets of confused looks, but waves them off.

****

“Are you trying to tell me, that you. Alex Danvers. Super dork, heart of gold, 2nd place badass of the DEO, were a globe trotting, lesbian icon, rockstar?” Lucy’s face has flown through so many emotions, but is back to the ‘I call bullshit’ face. Alex can’t help roll her eyes at the description she gets of herself.

****

“Yes.That is what I”m telling you.”

****

“Oh My God.” Lucy’s face is absolute shock, and Alex is worried she may have broken the other woman until she continues with, “I’m going to be really pissed if Ashton Kutcher jumps out and screams punk’d.” Lucy starts looking around her, and even jumps up to go searching for him. Alex throws her arms up in the air with exasperation.

 

“Ashton Kutcher isn’t here!”

 

“I don’t believe you!” Lucy yells running up the stairs to Alex’s closet. This is after she had ran around her kitchen counter looking for who the hell knows what.

 

“What are you doing?!” Alex follows the woman in question up the stairs and into her closet, where she is ripping clothes out and flinging them onto the bed. The other three are watching on from the living room with amusement.

 

“I’m looking for proof!”

 

“Like what?!” Alex asks trying to grab the clothes that keep flying out at her.

 

“Well for starters, your mask. And maybe those tight ass hugging leather pants, because I’d look good in those.” Lucy’s voice is muffled, because her head is still stuck in Alex’s closet.

 

“Lucy!” Alex grabs onto her arm and pulls her out of the closet. “I don’t have them anymore, so your search is useless!” Lucy has grabbed onto a leather jacket, and Alex is attempting to wrestle it out of her hands.

 

“Lucy, this is just a jacket!” Alex rips it out of her hands, but not before they both tumble onto the bed. “I got rid of the pants years ago! And I wouldn’t even begin to tell you where the mask is! Let alone anything else!” Alex pins her on her side. “So you are just going to have to believe me, Okay?!”

 

“Okay, fine.” Lucy says in a muffled voice, due to the fact that Alex’s shoulder is in her face. The two of them get up and catch their breaths for a few moments before they walk back over to the group. Both sit down like that entire fiasco didn’t happen. The only proof that it did is the amused look on everyone else’s face, and all of Alex’s, mostly black, clothes strewn over the bedroom loft area.

 

“Anyways,” Sam says after a few moments of silence, “I believe you. It all makes sense.” Sam looks over to Lena, “The fiasco in your office! You knew!” Sam points dramatically, like they're in some telenovela. Lena just nods.

****

“To be fair I didn’t know until after the fiasco in my office.” Lena adds.

****

“What happened in Lena’s office?” Vasquez asks with glee, suspecting an embarrassing story.

****

“Yes do tell,” Lucy says with matching glee, finally calmed down from her frantic search for Ashton Kutcher.

****

“Don’t tell…” Alex whines, but it’s futile.

****

“Well,” Sam starts, dramatically cutting Alex off, with wide hand gestures and everything. “If you didn’t know, Lena is a huge American Psycho fan. Like full fangirl. Level 101.” Lena scoffs, but blushes all the same when Alex leans down and  kisses her cheek. “So naturally, she has a momento hanging in her office.”

****

“A guitar.” Lucy adds helpfully, and Sam gives her a confused look. “I saw it when I went to see Lena. How else did you think I knew your favorite chocolate?” Lucy smiles and gives Sam a kiss. Lena awws and Alex makes fake gagging noises. Her stress over this coming out slowly melting out of her muscles with every passing minute.

****

“Yes well, as far as I heard. Kara saw the guitar during one of their lunches, and called Alex.” Sam smiles mischievously, “This is where it gets interesting. Ten minutes later, and Alex runs in freaking out. Doesn't bother with hello, just rips the guitar off the wall.”

****

“Damn Danvers,” Lucy laughs, “you have zero chill.”

****

“Shut up.” Alex has sat down at this point next to Lena, and reaches out to kick Lucy with her foot. “And I wasn’t freaking out, I was… just… surprised.” Lena snorts.

****

“You were freaking out darling.”

****

“Hey, whose side are you on?” Alex ask indignant and petulant. Lena just pulls her closer, and Alex melts into her.

****

“Anyways,” Sam continues, “Alex, who was definitely freaking out, just throws the guitar down on the couch, and storms out. Leaving Kara to fix the hole in Lena’s wall. Doesn’t say anything. Just destroys property and leaves.”

****

“In true rockstar fashion.” Vasquez adds with a laugh, and Alex just groans.

****

“And you managed to still get the girl. See all of the rockstars always get the girls without trying.” Lucy motions to Lena and Alex’s curled up position.

****

“I don’t see you complaining Lane.” Vasquez shoots from Lucy’s other side, and Lucy interlaces her fingers with Sam’s.

****

“True,” She looks at Sam dreamily before looking back to Alex, “So can we get those drinks now, because I have questions.” Alex just shakes her head and gets up.

****

“Somehow I knew you would.”

****

“Well you can’t just drop a glitter bomb and not expect questions!”

****

Alex walks over and grabs the bottle of scotch Lena had brought that first night. That night seems so long ago, but was just one week ago. While she’s grabbing glasses she looks back to the living room, where her friends and girlfriend are talking and teasing each other; just like that everything seems like it will be normal. Alex doesn’t regret telling them this secret, and feels nothing but relief.

****

“Yo, Nerdstar, what’s taking so long!” Lucy yells over her shoulder. Well relief and just slight irritation.

****

“Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on.” Alex says setting down the glasses and bottle of scotch. Lucy pours everyone two fingers of whiskey, handing one to Sam. She takes a sip and groans.

****

“Damn, Lena you’ve got good taste.”

****

“Oh so you just assume that’s Lena’s scotch?” Alex crosses her arms over her chest.

****

“Well am I wrong?” Lucy smirks when Alex just huffs in response.”Thought so.”

****

“So Alex,” It’s Sam who starts first, which catches Alex off guard. “I just wanted to say, before Lucy starts to interrogate you, that you secret's safe with us,” She looks around to everyone nodding. “And I feel honored that you felt comfortable sharing it with us. As I’m sure these two are as well.”

****

“Absolutely” “Definitely” Alex gives them a wavering smile, feeling somewhat emotional. Her heart had been pounding, and settles when Lena pulls her in closer.

****

“But I’ll warn you now.” Alex gulps, worried she’s about to get another shovel talk, “Ruby is probably your number one fan, and if she ever finds out it’s you her brain might short circuit.”

****

“Rub-Ruby listens to my music?” Alex isn’t sure what she feels at that knowledge. Sam nods her head.

****

“Oh yeah, she loves AP. Your probably her favorite singer right now.” Sam snorts, “There’s actually a picture of you on her wall.”

****

“Well… that’s…”

****

“Oh yeah, I had a poster of you in my dorm.” Lucy says

****

“I…”

****

“Me too!” Vasquez high five’s Lucy, and Alex thinks her brain is short circuiting.

****

“I know you did too Lena.” Sam smiles at the glare sent her way.

****

“You… had a poster too?” Alex asks looking down at Lena, her brain had come to a grinding halt at that knowledge. Lena shrugs with a smile.

****

“I had one in my apartment after college.” Lena says and Alex smiles at her.

****

“You want me to sign it?” Alex teases cheekily, and Lena just pushes Alex.

****

“You ass.” Alex just laughs and takes a pull of her drink.

****

“Oh if you are signing shit, I’m definitely getting mine signed.” Lucy cuts in.

****

“I wasn’t actually…” Lucy just gives her a raised eyebrow, and Alex sighs. “Fine, I’ll sign everyones stuff. But isn’t knowing it’s me make it not that exciting anymore?”

****

“Nope.” “Nah.” “No.” They answer in unison, and Alex just raises both eyebrows in surprise.

****

“Oh and if you are signing stuff, I’m definitely having you sign stuff for Ruby. She will completely lose it!”

****

“Wait, so Ruby actually listens to my music?” Alex asks again, like she hadn’t believed it the first time.

****

“Yes,” Sam laughs, “Did you think I was just lying about that?”

****

“Well… No, but isn’t my music kind of old?”

****

“Oh no, you came back around actually.” Vasquez adds, and all of them look at her questioningly, “What? I keep up with what’s popular. And American Psycho has regained traction lately, especially with the teens and 20 somethings.”

****

“Really?” Alex feels surprised by this information, and vows to look into it further.

****

“Yep. Didn’t your agent tell you about this?” It’s Sam who asks with a head tilt.

****

“No,” Alex shakes her head. “I haven’t talked to Cookie in years.” Alex stares off into the distance, while the rest of them refill their drinks. She had begun this evening thinking she was about to drop a bomb on her friends, when in turn they were the ones to drop a bomb on her. She thinks about all of these kids listening to her music, and that’s when something occurs to her.

****

“Wait?” Alex turns to Sam, “Do you let Ruby listen to all of my music?” Alex asks in a worried tone. Most of her music is tame, but she isn’t sure how she feels about Ruby listening to her songs about sex and drugs.

****

“No,” Sam chuckles. “I’m sure she’s heard all of them at some point, but there are a few I don’t let her have on her phone.” Alex lets out a breath.

****

“Ok, good.”

****

“Like ‘For Your Entertainment.’ or ‘Fetish'” Sam continues with a smirk.

****

“Oh, that was a good video.” Vasquez adds with a smile, and Alex’s face is becoming redder. She’s about to change the subject when Lucy pipes up.

****

“You know…” Lucy says with a shit eating grin.

****

“Do I?” Alex snarks, “Do I want to know?”

****

“I’m just surprised is all. I mean sure you are a badass in the field Alex.” Lucy teases, “But you don’t really seem like Dom material.”

****

“I wasn’t the Dom.” It takes a few seconds for Alex’s words to catch up to her, and her eyes widen. Lucy guffaws, and both Sam and Vasquez cackle. Alex groans, burying her face into her hands. She’s extremely grateful she decided not to invite Kara tonight. Lena has been silent through this entire exchange, but she still blushes at this new information.

****

“I was just teasing!” Lucy lifts her hands up in surrender, but continues to laugh. “But those songs are based on an actual experience? Damn Danvers!”

****

“Can we forget I just said that? It was only a one time thing.” Alex pleads with her face still in her hands.

****

“Not a potsticker’s chance near Kara.” Vasquez adds, and Lena can’t help but laugh, even with the blush still present on her cheeks.

****

“So were you a good girl or a bad girl?” Lucy asks before being smacked with a pillow.

****

“Shut up!” Alex’s face blushing furiously. Lena is rubbing her back, but still shaking with laughter. She gets a glare in response, but with Alex’s blush it’s not that intimidating.

****

“So Lena…” Lucy starts, but is cut off by Sam’s hand over her mouth.

****

“Nope, don’t go there babe.” Lena shoots Sam a grateful look.

****

“You know…” It’s Vasquez that says it this time.

****

“No! No I don’t want to know!” Alex says with urgency.

****

“It isn’t that bad Danvers.” Alex just waits for her to continue. “When I was in college I once made $250 doing a Drag King dance to that song. I had an all leather outfit, complete with whips and chains.”

****

Lucy motions over to Vasquez giving Alex a pointed look, “See Dom material.” She can’t help the laughter that breaks free when Alex groans again.

****

“Ok I regret telling you my secret now.”

****

“Ouch Danvers, that hurts.” Lucy mocking puts her hand on her chest. “Besides it was bound to come out sooner than later. Kara isn’t the best liar.”

****

“Oh god, what did she say?” Alex rubs her temples, and she catches Lucy’s eye flit to Lena and back to Alex.

****

“Nothing important.” Alex doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t bother to question her now. She’s just relieved it isn’t another embarrassing story.

****

“So does anyone have any other questions. Lucy your question quota is full, so no.” Alex points at Lucy’s raised hand.

  
“So did they have to sew you into those tight ass leather pants like Olivia Newton-John?” It’s Vasquez that asks it, and Alex pours herself another drink. _It’s going to be a long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? Will Lucy tell Alex what Kara told her? Will Ruby find out her two idols are one in the same? We will all find out eventually.
> 
> I hope that reveal stood up to expectation, if not... eh whatcha going to do.
> 
> Also my writing is directly fueled by your love... so...
> 
> BTW I completely took the liberty of writing Vasquez a past, so we will see more of it soon.
> 
>  
> 
> Songs:  
> For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert  
> Fetish by Joan Jett


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, and flashbacks from the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the continued support. I feel like this chapter is better than the last one. See what you think!
> 
> Oh and happy 4 months! Whoop!

Alex is the first one to wake. The sunlight has started to stream in from her window, her face covered in its harsh blinding rays, and with it comes the splitting headache. She groans and attempts to roll over, then realizes fairly quickly that she’s on the edge of her bed. She would stumble right off of it, if not for the arms encircling her waist. She stifles a groan at the quick movement, and looks down to see two right arms, neither belonging to Lena. A quick look over sees Sam and Vasquez sleeping closest to her, with Lucy and Lena on their other side. Sam is practically on top of vasquez, her head nestled on her lower back. A look up see’s Vasquez on her stomach with her head under Alex’s pillow. Alex blinks slowly, attempting to clear the fog, and trying to remember how they all ended up in her bed.

****

\-----

****

**_The Previous Night_ **

****

_ “I’m telling you Danvers we can all fit!” It’s Lucy who slurs the words out, while stumbling up the stairs to the lofted bed. Vasquez is the one to catch her when she trips and almost faceplants. She runs up the bed and flops on it in a dramatic fashion, dragging Alex down with her. She flips onto her back and starts to starfish out; smothering Alex with her body and effectively trapping the woman underneath her. _

****

_ “Luucyy” Alex mumbles underneath the arm of her best friend, trying to drunkenly push her off. Lena and Vasquez are just standing at the bottom of the stairs laughing while Sam attempts to pull Lucy off Alex. Instead she gets pulled down on the bed, tripping on top of the other two. She narrowly misses kneeing Alex in the crotch, and lands with one leg in between Lucy’s legs and one leg between Alex’s legs.  _

****

_ Alex has managed to push Lucy off of her top half, but the smaller woman pulls Sam down into her before Alex can push them both off. Lucy’s hands are drunkenly snaking down to Sam’s butt as she mouths at the other woman’s neck. _

****

_ “Oh hell no!” Alex sobers quickly and is pushing them off full force at this point. The two of them drunkenly fall off the bed laughing. “I don’t know what the hell that was, but I will not be a part of it!” Alex has jumped off the bed, but overestimated her sobriety and quickly tumbles down the stairs. Luckily for her Vasquez and Lena have quick reflexes and catch her. _

****

_ “Come on Alex!” Lucy has pulled Sam up off the floor and flops back onto the bed. “We can all fit see!” She throws her arms out and starts to move them like a snow angel. “So much room!” Alex had convinced her friends not to leave in their drunken state, but she’s having some regrets. It’s Lena who eventually pulls her towards the bed, but not before Vasquez leaps onto it, nearly crushing Lucy. Sam is doubled over laughing at the pair, and Alex attempts to sit in the only safe looking area of the bed.  _

****

_ “Fine!” Alex says to a giggling Lucy. Alex is quick to pull Lena down with her. “But you and Sam can’t sleep next to each other.” _

****

_ “What?” Lucy asks in mock offense, hand to her chest. “You don’t trust me to behave?” _

****

_ “No.” Everyone, but Lucy has said it, and Lucy looks at Sam betrayed. _

****

_ “I am not sleeping between them.” Vasquez says from her stretched out position against the pillows. _

****

_ “Fine then I call Lena!” Lucy shouts, and Lena barely gets out a ‘what!?’ before Lucy grabs onto her waist and hoists her over Vasquez. The squeak that comes out of her is the cutest thing Alex thinks she’s ever heard. _

****

_ “Why me?!” Lena says to no one in particular, and Alex wonders if she’s talking to the universe as a whole.  _

****

_ “Because you look so comfortable.” Lucy has sprawled out on top of Lena, and nestled her head on the other woman’s chest. The action making Lena’s eyes wide as she seeks out Alex’s gaze. Alex for her part has just started laughing hysterically at the other woman’s expression, and Lena gives her an unamused look. _

****

_ “Welcome to the family.” Alex smiles and Lena gives her a shy one in return. _

****

_ “Shhh, trying to sleep.” Lucy mumbles, and Alex swats her. _

****

\-----

****

Alex gets a soft look on her face as she gazes at the people sleeping beside her. These people who, well most of them, didn’t know about her secret just 24 hours before. Yet nothing is different. The sun still rose. The earth kept turning. And they are still the same group of misfits she’s always known and loved. Alex counts herself lucky to have them in her life. 

****

She starts to disentangle herself from Sam and Vasquez’s arms. Sam stirs slightly, but just curls her arm around the other woman’s waist and settles down again. Her face is still pressed to Vasquez’s lower back, but now that she’s standing she can see that Sam had actually been stretched out across all of them. Her legs are tangled with Lucy and Lena’s legs. Lucy is still snuggled on top of Lena, and Alex just chuckles.

****

She makes her way down the stairs and starts to put on a large pot of coffee. She figures, probably correctly, that all of her friends will also be fighting their own hangovers. Alex can handle coffee, but she’s going to wait for someone more qualified to wake up before attempting to cook any breakfast. The smoke alarm going off will not aid in anyone’s headache. Speaking of headache, Alex reaches up for her stash of painkillers. She rifles through the basket, before deciding to just bring the entire thing down. She quickly pops in 2 pills and chokes them down dry.

****

Alex has just settled at the bar stools with a cup of coffee, when Lucy makes her way into the kitchen. Alex doesn’t say a word to the other woman as she makes a beeline for the coffee, and stops for a painkiller detour. Lucy sits down with a grimace, and slurps down her coffee.

****

“So how are you feeling?” Alex whispears out, but it's evidently still too loud for Lucy, who groans and slaps her hand over Alex’s mouth. Alex just chuckles from behind the hand, and sticks her tongue out to lick it.

****

“Ew, gross. Save your tongue for Lena.” Lucy wipes her hand on Alex’s shirt, and continues to drink her coffee. Alex laughs quietly, even through her blush.

****

“It was your idea to play truth or drink with the vodka.” Alex snorts at Lucy’s groan, then regrets it when the pain shoots through her again.

****

\-----

****

**_Earlier The Previous Night_ **

****

_ “I don’t really see how it’s fair that I’m the only one answering embarrassing questions.” Alex huffs and crosses her arms. They have nearly finished what was left of Lena’s whiskey, and Lucy takes this as a great opportunity to run over to Alex’s liquor cabinet. She pulls out a bottle of vodka and runs back before Alex can even ask what she’s doing. She sets down the bottle, and runs into the kitchen opening a few cabinets before she finds what she’s looking for; shot glasses. She slams down the shot glasses with a smile, and Alex just shakes her head. _

****

_ “No.” _

****

_ “Yes.” _

****

_ “No, Lucy. We aren’t going to do shots.” Alex shakes her head. _

****

_ “Not shots.” Lucy corrects, and Alex motions to the glasses laid out before her. “Truth or Drink!” Alex groans, but doesn’t even utter another word before Lucy is cutting her off. “Okay, so rules are simple. We go around asking each other questions. If you don’t want to answer, you drink.” _

****

_ “Why do I feel like I’m back in high school.” Alex mutters to Lena who laughs, and kisses her cheek.  _

****

_ “Hey,” Lucy points a finger at Alex, “You’re the one who wanted to share the embarrassment, so don’t look this gift horse in the mouth.” Alex still has her arms crossed unamused, so Lucy sweetens the deal,  _

****

_ “I’ll let you ask me three questions first.” They stare at each other for a few moments, before Alex relents. _

****

_ “Fine.” Alex ponders her questions for a moment before a smirk grows on her face. _

****

_ “Have you ever been walked in on during sex?” Alex knew the answer, but wanted to see if Lucy was going to share. Lucy, never one to back down from a challenge, answered with a simple yes. _

****

_ “Well go on. What happened?” Alex asked, and Lucy shot her daggers. _

****

_ “That counts has your second question.” Lucy stalled, but Alex just shrugs. _

****

_ “Fine with me.” _

****

_ Refusing to back down Lucy takes a deep breath before starting her story. “I was 19 and she was 18. We were fooling around in her bedroom, and her parents came home. Unfortunately, we didn’t hear them until they walked into her room wondering where she was. We only jumped apart when her mother screamed bloody murder. Needless to say her military, republican parents didn’t expect to find their daughter naked and riding my face.” Alex starts to cackle at the blush sprouting on Lucy’s face, and she’s suddenly glad she agreed to play this game. Sam soothingly rubs Lucy’s back in comfort, but can’t help that her shoulders still shake in an attempt to hold her laugh in. _

****

_ “What happened next?” Alex doesn’t care she used up all of her questions, she’s just dying to know the end of that story. _

****

_ “She jumped off of me, I grabbed a t shirt and underwear, and jumped out the window.” _

****

_ “What!?” Sam can’t contain her own laughter now, and Vasquez is quick to join them, Lena not far behind. _

****

_ “Yes, well I forgot to grab my pants, with my phone in it, so I had to call Clark to come rescue me. By the time we got home, we were both as red as his cape.” _

****

_ “Are… you… t-telling me.” Alex gets out in between her laughter, “that you sat behind some tree… wearing only a shirt… yelling out for superman!” Alex is almost doubled over and Lucy is red as… well superman’s cape.  _

****

_ “Actually I hid behind a bush.” At that Alex nearly chokes on her laughter, and it takes her a while to calm down enough to pour herself and Lucy a shot. _

****

_ “I think you need this after that story.” Alex clinks her glass and throws it back, and Lucy follows suit. _

****

_ “So who’s next?” Lucy asks after putting the glass down, and turns her head towards Lena with an eyebrow raise. Lena meets her head on, with a smirk. _

****

_ “Lena.”  _

****

_ “Lucy” Lucy sets her chin on her hand, pondering the question she wants to ask. A smirk grows on her face, matching the one Lena is still giving her. _

****

_ “What’s your favorite American Psycho song, and why?” _

****

_ “I thought this was supposed to not be about me?” Alex huffs, and Lena laces their fingers together. _

****

_ “Why don’t we have both?” Lucy asks in a poorly imitated spanish accent, and gets a high five from Vasquez and a head shake from Sam and Alex. Lena just grabs the bottle of vodka and pours herself a shot. She ignores the eyebrow raise she gets from Lucy, and downs it with a slight cough. _

****

_ “Oh now I really want to know what it is.” Lucy’s smile is teasing and dangerous. “Is it Fetish? Be honest. It’s a safe space.” Lucy cackles at the blush that spreads on Lena’s cheeks. Unfortunately for Lena, it’s Sam that answers. _

****

_ “Nope, but I know what it is.” Sam laughs at the glare of betrayal sent her way by Lena. Before she can get a word out to shut Sam up, Lucy cuts in. _

****

_ “Okay Sam your turn. What’s Lena’s favorite American Psycho song?” _

****

_ “Nope, that cheating. Can’t do that.” It’s Alex who saves her, and Lena gives her hand a squeeze in thanks. _

****

_ “Unfortunately they’re right babe.” Sam says, and kisses Lucy’s cheek to rid her of her pout. _

****

_ “Besides,  _ **_I_ ** _ get to ask Sam a question.” Lena cuts in with a dangerous glint in her eye, that makes Sam regret her life choices. _

****

_ “Where did you go after the AP concert? You disappeared for 30 minutes and came back all flushed.” _

****

_ “Leeeena.” Alex whines, and just gets a kiss on her cheek. _

****

_ “Sorry babe, but I’ve always wanted to know. Besides it’s more about Sam than you.” _

****

_ “Actually,” Sam nibbles on her lip, “It’s not.” _

****

_ They all stare at her to finish her story. Sam eyes the people around her and eyes the drinks in front of her. She starts to reach for the bottle of vodka when Lucy stops her hands. _

****

_ “Oh no. You can’t give us a lead up like that, then just take a shot.” Sam chews on her bottom lip for a few moments before sighing. _

****

_ “I was breaking into American Psycho’s dressing room.” It’s said so quietly that they almost don’t hear her. All of their jaws have hit the ground, and they gape openly at Sam. Sam is awkwardly sitting, still biting her lip and wringing her hands. _

****

_ “You tried to break into my dressing room?” Alex squeaks out and has to clear her throat multiple times. _

****

_ “I didn’t try, I succeeded.” Sam adds, somewhat proudly. _

****

_ “What?!” Back to squeaky. _

****

_ “What did you take?” Lena asks with a manic glee not usually seen on her face. _

****

_ “Yeah babe what did you take?” Lucy’s glee eerily matches Lena’s. _

****

_ “Well… you know how you were looking for those leather pants?” _

****

_ “No!” _

****

_ “Yep… and you would look real good in them.” Sam husks the last part out, and Alex just groans. _

****

_ “I can not believe you stole my leather pants.” Alex says it to the ceiling with her head resting back on Lena’s shoulder. _

****

_ “Screw that,” Lena exclaims. “I can’t believe I never noticed you had them with you!” _

****

_ “Well you were a bit distracted running around with the rainbow crowd.” Sam laughs at Lena’s nod of acquiescence. _

****

_ “Anyways…” Sam attempts to move the focus off of her. “Susan, you’ve been a little too quiet over there.” All eyes turn to Vasquez who just nonchalantly sips her whiskey. _

****

_ “So tell me. You dressed the part, but have you ever dominated someone?” Sam just raises an eyebrow when Susan automatically leans forward for a shot. _

****

_ “Yes,” She downs the shot, and Lucy drunkenly guffaws. _

****

\-----

****

“Do you have to yell Danvers. I’m right here.” Lucy whispers out, but luckily for Alex the apartment is dead silent. The two of them sit in silence for a number of minutes, waiting and praying for the painkillers to kick in. After about ten minutes they seemed to have kicked in, and Lucy and Alex can finally keep their eyes open without pain. Progress.

****

“So do you want to attempt breakfast, or should we just wait for Sam to wake up?” Lucy asks Alex, who looks over to the three still left in bed; dead to the world. As if on cue Alex and Lucy’s stomachs grumble. The two of them look down, look at each other, and nod in agreement.

****

“Wait for Sam.” Alex got up to refill their coffee cups and grab two bananas to hold them over. She settles back into her seat, and her and Lucy fall into companionable silence. The silence is only broken fifteen minutes later by Alex calling out to Lucy.

****

“Lucy?”

****

“Ya?” Lucy sets down her phone, and looks over to see Alex wearing a serious expression.

****

“Can I ask you something?” Lucy furrows her brows, but nods. Alex takes a deep breath. “Yesterday you mentioned Kara telling you something. I saw you look between Lena and I… I was just wondering what Kara told you?”

****

“Look,” Lucy says with a false lightness, “Kara likes to blurt things out. You know how she is… and I wasn’t even paying that much… attention to what she was…”

****

“Lucy.” Alex cuts her off, and the other woman gives a deep sigh.

****

“She said… she said you used to treat women badly.” Shame and sorrow cross Alex’s face so quickly, Lucy half wonders if it had been there the entire time. She doesn’t want to keep going, but Alex had asked. “She said you used to play with their hearts and use them.” A deafening silence seems to envelope them.

****

“She’s right... I was horrible.” Alex has put her head into her hands, attempting to run from the world or maybe just this conversation. “After Maggie had left me shattered, I used women to fill the cracks. Didn’t work.”

****

\-----

****

**_Even Earlier The Previous Night_ **

****

_ “So Alex…”  _

****

_ “No.” _

****

_ “But… I…” Lucy’s attempt at pleading fails when Alex crosses her arms. _

****

_ “You’re question quota is full.” _

****

_ “Pleeease.” Lucy sticks out her bottom lip, and does her best Kara Danvers impression. _

****

_ “Don’t even try it. I’ve withstood Kara’s pout so you are no match.” Lena snorts beside her. _

****

_ “You have never withstood Kara’s pout.” Lena laughs at the wounded pride look Alex shoots her. _

****

_ “Dammit you’re right.” Alex sips her drink while all of them chuckle at her. “Fine Lane, what is it now?” _

****

_ “I was just curious. I know you grew up outside of National City, but in your song One Woman Army you talk about being in Gotham. When did you live in Gotham?”  _

****

_ It’s a simple enough question. One that most people would have zero trouble answering. One that Lucy couldn’t have really known would invoke both anger and pain within Alex. Lena can feel Alex tense up beside her, and soothingly strokes her palm. Alex takes a long pull of her drink, emptying the glass. She refills it, and the muscle in her jaw pops as she clenches. _

****

_ “I lived there with Maggie when I wasn’t touring.” _

****

_ “Oh.” Lucy says softly, and Sam shifts awkwardly next to her. Luckily, or possibly unluckily, for Alex, everyone here knows exactly who Maggie is. They know exactly who she was to Alex, and what she did. Knowing she was AP definitely adds another layer to that relationship, but the facts are still the same. _

****

_ “Well,” Vasquez, bless her heart, attempts to break the awkwardness. “Gotham must have been crazy? Right? All of those Supervillains and Antiheroes wandering around.”  _

****

_ “Yep…” Alex attempts to shake off the negative feelings; unfortunately for her Vasquez continues straight into a landmine. _

****

_ “Did you ever meet any of them? Like Batwoman?”  _

****

_ If Alex had been Kara the glass in her hand would have shattered. _

****

_ “You mean Maggie’s Ex-Girlfriend, who I walked in on while she was three fingers deep in Maggie. Yep I met her.” She says it in one long breathe. Then swallows, ironically, three fingers of whiskey in one gulp. The other four are stunned into silence. Honestly, Alex is a bit stunned herself. These are the first people she’s ever talked to about this. She never told Kara the details, and hasn’t brought it up with Lena yet. Plus Lena would have never outright asked her the details of her relationship with Maggie. She wouldn’t have wanted her to relive that pain. _

****

_ “Alex… I…” Vasquez is lost for words and Lucy isn’t faring any better. Alex reaches to refill her glass again, but Lena stops her. _

****

_ “Hey,” Lena says quietly, urging Alex to look at her. The others are looking down at their laps, attempting to give them some privacy. When Alex refuses to look at her, she puts her hand on Alex’s cheek, forcing her to meet her gaze. Lena leans in slightly to give her a small kiss. _

****

_ “You’re okay.” She whispers it on her lips; green eyes bore into brown. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to talk about it now... or ever. Okay?” Alex gives her a nod, and leans in to peck Lena’s lips. _

****

_ “I’m sorry.” Vasquez’s eyebrows are furrowed in worry even when Alex waves her off. Alex offers her a small smile, and she attempts to match it. _

****

_ “I wouldn’t have asked if I had known.” Lucy adds, “I had always been curious, because... it’s... my favorite song.” She says it shyly, as if offering her own vulnerability to match Alex’s state. She appreciates the gesture, but she can see the anxiety of that statement creep up Lucy’s spine. She’s curious about why that song, besides the obvious, but refuses to add more weight to this conversation. Instead she lightens it up. _

****

_ “What?” Alex fake gasps, “you mean your favorite song isn’t Fetish?” She throws her hands up in wonder, “And here I thought I knew you!” Lucy just snorts, and shoves Alex. They smile at each other, and everyone else seems to breathe a sigh of relief. _

****

_ \----- _

****

“Alex.” Lucy attempts to pry her fingers off of her face. “That isn’t who you are anymore.”

****

“No?!” Alex says louder than she meant and smacks her hand down on the counter. A quick scan behind them shows no movement. 

****

“Who says that isn’t what I’m doing right now with Lena?” She continues in a harsh whisper. She hops off the stool walking away from Lucy, from the bed, from a future she’s afraid to want too badly. Lucy follows. 

****

“Who says I’m not still trying to fill the endless cracks of what's left of me. Of who I wanted to be. Who says I won’t just use her and leave her like all the rest. What makes her different?” A single tear tracks her way down Alex’s face. Alex is shaking with pent up emotion. Lucy reaches up to wipe the tear away; softly stroking her cheek until Alex pulls away.

****

“Who says my darkness won’t drive her away.” Alex chokes it out; attempting to stop the wave of emotion that threatens to break, her fists clenched at her sides.

****

“Because of this,” Lucy wipes away another tear, showing Alex the evidence. “If you really were as heartless as you think you are… why would you be crying? If you were just going to throw Lena away, why would you even care if she was driven away?”

****

Alex steps away from Lucy shaking her head. 

****

“American Psycho drove her away.” Alex doesn’t need to say anymore for Lucy to know who she’s talking about. It’s someone they’ve never discussed, save for last night. 

****

“The darkness and pain that I carried inside. It drove her away…” Lucy has never seen Alex look more pained as she glances over at Lena. Longing.

****

“Everything I do now. Every move I make will always be tainted. No matter what I do, AP will always be a part of who I am. The dark stain on my soul.” Lucy has heard enough.

****

“Is that what you really think?” She has raised her voice to just above a whisper. “You think you are this dark monster, here to cause pain and destruction for everyone around you? Because I have news for you Danvers, you’re not.” Lucy says it with such conviction in her voice, that Alex wishes she believed her. 

****

“You don’t…”

****

“No. Listen to me Alex. You are one of the sweetest, most caring people I have ever met." Lucy grabs onto Alex’s face, forcing eye contact to drive her point home. "Knowing that you're American Psycho... It doesn't change that fact. I know you thought it would, but you are still Alex 'heart on her sleeve, fall on her own sword, nerdy' Danvers. I don’t know how you got it in your head that you are this monster that needs to be slain, but you aren’t.”

****

“And you talk about AP like it's this plague that infected your life. Bu why is AP being a part of you such a bad thing?” Alex scoffs, pulling her head out of Lucy’s hands. “No really. Beyond all the bad shit, that you seem to always solely blame yourself for by the way, there is all the good that you’ve done as AP, as Alex.”

****

Alex just shakes her head and moves to get a bottle of water, attempting to flee. Lucy follows her around the island and pins her to the counter with her stare.

****

“I wasn’t done Danvers.” Lucy crosses her arms. “I’m not making excuses for your shitty behavior in the past…” Lucy’s eyes flit back to the bed, “and I won’t let you get away with any shitty behavior in the future. But you deserve to be happy. You think of only the bad things you did, but... you changed people’s lives Alex... You changed mine.”

****

Alex, who had been studying her shoes, looks up into the sincere eyes of her best friend.

****

“Because of who you are… as American Psycho and as Alex.”

****

Alex swallows harshly, but Lucy doesn’t give her a chance to reply.

****

“You never got to hear why One Woman Army was my favorite song.”

****

\-----

****

**_2008_ **

****

**_West Point_ **

****

**_Lucy Lane’s Dorm Room_ **

****

_ “Can you believe these guys?!” Lucy looks up from her work to see what her roomate, Joan, is bitching about now. In front of her face is a flyer that is clearly a copy of military protocol with bright red letters that says:  _ **_God Hates Fags._ ** _ A closer inspection reveals that the page behind it includes the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell protocol. Lucy’s mouth runs dry, and she attempts to focus back on her work, which is now impossible due to the thoughts flying through her mind. _

****

_ Do they know. _

****

_ Will they ask. _

****

_ Will I be thrown out. _

****

_ Will I be hurt. _

****

_ “Hey asshole!” Joan is now yelling out their door, startling Lucy from her spirling thoughts. Before Lucy can even open her mouth to tell her roommate to shut up, a larger older male student comes bursting into the room. He’s followed by two more men, all of them look smug. _

****

_ “You called?” He asks with his arms crossed, and a smarmy look on his face. _

****

_ “Yeah,” her roomate pushes the flyer into the man’s chest. “Part of don’t ask don’t tell is you not getting to broadcast your opinion!” The man grabs onto the flyer and looks down at it. Another guy hands him a piece of tape, seemingly out of nowhere, and he tapes the crumpled flyer to the wall. But he doesn’t just tape it at a normal level. No. He reaches up and tapes it high on their wall, so they can’t reach it. Lucy is watching this entire scene enfold in front of her, but she feels frozen to her spot.  _

****

_ “See that’s where you’re wrong.” He smiles at them with a condescending tone to his voice. “My opinion is protected under the first amendment…” he mock pouts, “Unfortunately for the fags, they aren’t.” He shrugs laughing and makes his way out of their room before Joan has a chance to yell some more. Just as they are leaving, one of the men slaps a  _ **_God Hates Fags_ ** _ sticker on the back of their door. _

****

_ “What complete assholes!” Her friend pulls over a chair to rip the flyer off the wall. Lucy is still frozen and hasn’t said a word. She puts headphones in and looks down at her homework. She isn’t even playing anything, too caught up in what just happened. She’s trying to calm her racing heart, and hopes she isn’t shaking. _

****

_ Her roommate doesn’t even notice her. She’s too busy ranting about douche one, two, and three. Unfortunately Joan realizes very quickly that the sticker isn’t going to come off; not if they want the door in one piece. She runs over to her side of the room and starts to look through some posters she has stashed. When she finds the one she’s looking for she runs over to Lucy’s side and grabs the tape from her desk, jarring her out of her black hole she seems to have fallen in. _

****

_ “What are you doing?” _

****

_ “Well this sticker isn’t going to come off, so I’m covering it.” She starts to unroll the poster and snorts, “somewhat ironically.”  _

****

_ Now covering their door is a black and white photo of a singer Lucy has never heard of. A quick glance to the upper left tells her they are called American Psycho. She flits her eyes back to the woman, who is wearing a studded mask, and then back to the words right under her name.  _

****

_ One Woman Army _

****

_ That piques Lucy’s interest, and she pulls up the song on her computer. After listening to it a couple times, she decides it’s good enough to buy it on itunes. Her homework all but forgotten as she loses herself youtubing American Psycho’s other songs. It isn’t until about 20 minutes later, that her roommates words register. She looks over at the poster and then to her roommate lounging on her bed. _

****

_ “Wait, why is this ironic?” Lucy motions to the poster when Joan gives her a confused look. Joan looks over at the poster then back to Lucy giving her an ‘are you serious’ look.  _

****

_ “Because she’s gay.” She says it simply, as if she just told Lucy the sky was blue. Lucy isn’t so sure what to do with that knowledge. It unsettles her, but somewhere deep she feels almost… comforted.  _

****

_ \----- _

****

Lucy has finished her story, and Alex isn’t sure what to feel anymore. Her lower lip trembles as she attempts, again, to keep all of the emotion in. Lucy reaches out and pulls her into a hug, and Alex shutters out a deep breath, feeling a thousand pounds lighter than she has in a long time. Feeling like maybe it isn’t all hopeless. Alex pulls back and wipes the one last tear that managed to escape her iron grip.

****

“Okay enough of the mushy shit.” Lucy bumps Alex’s shoulder with her own, getting a wet laugh in response. “Let’s wake up the rest of them, so we can eat.” Lucy smiles brightly, and Alex gives her a small one in return.

****

“By all means…” Alex motions to the bed, and watches what she assumes will be death of one Lucy Lane. She pulls out her phone just incase.

****

“Hey babe…” Lucy is leaning over Vasquez to get to Sam, who is now nestled in Susan’s upper back. 

****

“Time to wake up.” She attempts to shake Sam awake, and that’s her first mistake. By shaking Sam she has also shaken Vasquez, whose training kicks in. In one swift move she has dislodged Sam onto Lena, startling both of them awake with groans. Next she grabs onto Lucy spinning and managing to flip her onto the floor and pin her arms behind her back. Everyone is stunned and silent attempting to figure out what just happened. 

****

The silence is broken by two things. The first is Alex’s loud laughter coming from the kitchen, where she is still filming. The second is Sam leaping off the bed and rushing to the bathroom room to throw up.They can all hear her retching, and Alex shuts the video off. Lucy is still struggling against Vasquez, who even in a hangover daze is surprisingly strong. She eventually lets go, and Lucy runs after Sam to make sure she’s okay.

****

“Hey,” Alex says softly to Lena, who still looks dazed, when she sits down on the bed. She’s handed both Lena and Vasquez a water. Lena shakes her head a couple of times attempting to clear the cobwebs.

****

“Did… did Lucy sleep on top of me?” Lena asks with an adorable scrunched up confused face. Alex tries to stifle her laughter, but can’t help the giggle that comes out. She leans in to kiss Lena, only to be pushed back.

****

“Morning breath… alcoholic morning breath.” Lena scrunches up her nose.

****

“Don’t care.” Alex leans in quickly before Lena can push her back again, causing the other woman to squeak. Its short and chaste, but no less passionate.

****

“You’re right,” Alex starts to tease, “you need a mint.” Lena gets a mock offended look and smacks Alex’s shoulder.

****

“You ass.” Alex just chuckles and gives her another kiss.

****

“Okay…” Vasquez interrupts, “as cute as this is…” she motions between Lena and Alex. “Where’s the coffee and painkillers?” Alex just chuckles and points to the kitchen behind her. Before Lucy made her grave mistake, Alex had pulled out more mugs for coffee.

****

“Babe!” Lucy’s voice comes out of the bathroom, “I said I was sorry!” All too soon they see Lucy being shoved out of the bathroom, and the door closing. “Babe! Come on!” Lucy is pouting outside the door now. Arms crossed, lower lip out, sad eyes big and round.

****

“I’ll check on her.” Lena says getting up with only a slight wobble. She pats Lucy’s arm and takes the water the other woman is holding.

****

“I tried to warn you Lane.” Alex says from the kitchen where she has followed Vasquez. 

****

“No you didn’t.”

****

“You’re right I didn’t.” Alex laughs, then laughs harder when Lucy gives her the finger.

****

“So how long have you two been up?” Vasquez asks after pouring herself a cup of coffee with a side of painkillers.

****

“About 30 minutes give or take.” Alex says with a ‘sort of’ hand motion.

****

“And you were just what… waiting for someone else to make breakfast… in your own home.” Vasquez was attempting to scold, but can’t help the humor in her voice.

****

“Well, we just figured you wouldn’t want to wake up to a smoke detector going off.”

****

“True.” Vasquez nods, “besides if I had been woken up by a smoke detector I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to flip Lucy over my shoulder.” Alex can’t help the loud laugh, and pulls out her phone to watch the video again. The two of them are laughing hysterically, and Lucy is just standing there pouting and glaring.

****

“Oh… oh my… god…” Alex gets out between her laughter, “I didn’t even notice the squeak that came out of your mouth the first time Lucy!” She rewinds the video, and yep, audible through it all is definitely a squeak.

****

“Damn, I wish I could show this to the new recruits.” Vasquez says when her laughter calms down.

****

“Yeah, lets not.” Lucy says sarcastically. “And I wasn’t prepared.” She defends, badly.

****

“Like Vasquez was prepared when she was dead asleep!” Alex and Vasquez have started a whole new round of laughter. By the time they are done Sam and Lena have made their way out of the bathroom. Sam looking worse for wear, but much better then she had running out of the bedroom.

****

“Hey, babe.” Lucy walks slowly over to Sam with her arms out. “How are you…” Sam stops Lucy with a hand to her chest, and Alex sniggers behind them. 

****

“Oh come on babe! I said I was sorry.” Lucy is full on pouting now, and Sam just shakes her head.

****

“Get me a coffee, and we’ll talk.” Lucy grumbles, but goes over to fetch her a coffee. She grabs her a bottle of painkillers and an anti-nausea pill as well. Sam downs her pills with coffee, while Lucy stands there with a pout and puppy eyes. Everyone else is watching on in amusement, until finally Sam leans over and kisses Lucy’s cheek.

****

“So now that Lucy is out of the dog house…” Vasquez ignores the finger she gets from Lucy. “Can we get some food going?” She looks over to Alex, who has her arms snuggled around Lena’s waist; her head resting on the shorter woman’s shoulder.

****

“Yeah?” Lena asks confused, untangling herself from Alex to turn and look at her. “How long have you two been up?”

****

“About 40 minutes now.” Alex says. Her eyes widen when she gets an eyebrow raise from Lena.

****

“And you haven’t started food… because?” Lena asks with a smirk when she just gets a wide eyed look back.

****

“I didn’t want to wake you guys up with a smoke alarm.” Alex defends, not for the first time this morning.

****

“And having Sam land on top of me was much better.” Lena sasses, and Vasquez makes a comment about Alex’s turn in the dog house.

****

“You say that, but you haven’t seen the video!” Alex defends, whipping her phone out. Lena attempts to stay stern, but can’t help the chuckle that comes out from seeing Lucy flipped over Vasquez’s shoulder.

****

“Okay, that is great. I’ll admit it.” Alex smiles triumphantly. “And you have to send that to Kara.”

****

“Oh don’t worry I already did.” Alex laughs at Lucy’s glare. “Actually that gives me an idea.”

****

Alex whips her phone back out, and starts typing frantically. She puts her phone away without a word, and about twenty minutes later Kara is knocking at her window. She’s carrying bags of what everyone else assumes is food, since Alex hadn’t bothered to tell them anything. She walks over to let in her sister, and Imra, who she hadn’t noticed before.

****

By this point Sam is feeling much better, and has changed into some of Alex’s clothes. Actually everyone but Alex and Lena have changed into a pair of Alex’s clothes. All black. Kara snorts when she sees all of them, setting down the bags of food for the group to start devouring.

****

“You all match.” She giggles, “You look like a wannabe punk band.”

****

“Well maybe we can back Alex up.” Lucy gives her best air guitar, making the rest of them laugh.

****

“Wait…” Kara looks between the group of them and back to Alex, who gives Kara a nod. “You all know?”

****

“Yes.” they all say it in unison.

****

“Oh thank god!” Kara heaves a big sigh, as if this was her secret she had been carrying this whole time.

****

“So Kara…” Lucy looks over at the blonde, who sits up and tilts her head in question. “Scientist lifestyle.”

****

Lucy can’t help but smirk at the blush that crosses her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? Did we like the talk Alex had with Lucy? I'm going to try and get chapters out faster, but I can't guarantee anything. Also if you look up the music I put in here, assume that I've changed pronouns as well as cities.
> 
> One Woman Army - Porcelain Black


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena have a weekend away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man you guys! It's been a hot minute! Sorry for the delay, life got crazy. I hope to be more consistent in the future. Let me know what you think of this chapter if anyone is still there! I hope it was sort of worth the wait. XD

“So when is Lena picking you up?”

****

Kara is lounging on Alex’s couch looking at the other woman as she runs around her lofted bedroom. Shirts and pants flying this way and that, almost all black of course. Alex comes to a sudden halt nearly tripping on a shirt when she hears the buzzer.

****

“Well that answers that question,” Kara jokes, then stands when Alex looks panicked. “Alex breathe.”

****

“This is the first weekend we are spending together, what if I… what if I do something stupid?!”

****

“You? I think that’s a definite.” The joke was not well taken if the pillow thrown at her head was any indication.

****

Kara walks over to Alex with her hands raised, as if approaching a baby deer. 

****

“Take a breath. You will be just fine. I’ll meet Lena downstairs, and you come down when you are ready. Okay?” Alex bobbles her head up and down rapidly, willing her heart to slow down. She looks up sharply when the buzzer sounds again. Kara makes for the door after giving Alex one last look of encouragement.

****

***

****

“She’s panicking.” 

****

Lena snorts.

****

“Something tells me you weren’t supposed to tell me that.” Kara shrugs unconcerned.

****

“She’ll calm down and hopefully be down soon.” Lena nods, her hands fidgeting slightly.

****

“Oh no.” Lena looks up confused, “Don’t you freak out now too. Only one of you is allowed to at a time.” Lena chuckles at that.

****

“I’m not freaking out.” Kara raises a disbelieving eyebrow. “I’m nervous there’s a difference.”

****

“Mmmhmm”

****

“What if she doesn’t…”

****

“Nope.”

****

“But what…”

****

“Nope.”

****

“But.”

****

“No. Lena, Alex likes you. You like her. This weekend will be great because it will just be the two of you. Okay?”

****

Lena nods her agreement looking more like the put together CEO than she had moments before.

****

“Useless Lesbians.” Kara mutters under her breath. The squawk of indignation that comes from Lena makes Kara laugh.

****

“You’re one to talk! I seem to remember you breaking Winn’s desk the first time Imra kissed you!” Lena accuses the already blushing woman. “Not to mention what happened to your bed during another first.” 

****

Lena smirks openly when Kara’s face becomes even more red. The two continue to bicker like sisters until they hear a door open, and out steps Alex. For several seconds, both just stand there with lovesick looks on their faces. Alex doesn’t even notice Kara take the bag out of her hand to put into the trunk. It isn’t until she snaps the trunk closed that Alex snaps out of it.

****

“H-hi” Alex stutters out causing a snort out of Kara. Lena interrupts the glare that had been sent towards Kara by leaning in for a soft kiss.

****

“Hi.” Lena pulls back and wipes at the lipstick that she has left behind. Lena casts a glance over Alex, seeing her in dark jeans and a plain white t-shirt with some aviators hanging from the neckline. Alex had started to check out Lena at the same time Lena had her. Lena was wearing ripped jeans, the pair that she had gotten with Sam and Kara, and a dark midnight blue wrap around shirt that fit her like a glove.  

****

“Well…” Kara looks in between the two women. “Since I’m chopped liver I’ll just head out. You two have fun, and be safe!” Kara is a few feet away before the other two register that she has even spoken.

****

“Thanks!” Lena yells after her getting a backwards wave in response.

****

“So,” Lena quirks her eyebrows playfully. “You ready to go?” She holds the keys up for Alex to take, who promptly looks at the car - she had been too busy checking out Lena to notice it before - and chokes on air. Lena can’t help but laugh at the look on the woman’s face.

****

“Hold up.” Alex waves her hands as if stopping for a time out. “You have a Maserati 3500 GT?” 

****

Lena just motions behind her at the maroon car as if to say obviously.

****

“And I get to drive it?” The pure joy and squeak that comes out brings a smile to Lena’s lips, and she can’t help but pull the other woman into her arms to kiss her deeply.

****

“Of course you do Darling. I trust you.” Alex would deny it but a small, or large, squee may have come out of her mouth. “It couldn’t be any worse than Kara, she doesn’t get to drive her.” She nods to the car behind her.

****

“Smart.” Alex snorts. She holds the passenger door open for Lena, who kisses her cheek in thanks. Quickly rounding the otherside, she doesn’t hesitate to start it up.

****

“So where to?”

****

***

****

Where to was evidently two hours away at Lena’s beach house. Although it took them 2.5 hours to get there because Alex insisted on stopping for pop rocks.

****

\-----

****

_ “It’s tradition Lena!” _

****

_ “Tradition.” Lena narrows her eyes at the other woman, unsure if she’s being made a fool or not. “How are candy rocks that pop a road trip tradition.” _

****

_ “Because they are terribly delicious and addicting!” Alex says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and quickly drags Lena into the antique store. They easily make their way towards the counter that has many different types of old fashioned candy.  _

****

_ “So the important question is…” Alex starts seriously, making Lena’s lips twitch, but she smothers the smile. “Which flavor.” Lena can’t contain the giggle that comes out. Apparently food seriousness is a Danvers family trait that is shared beyond blood ties. She wonders what Eliza is like around food. She tries her best to look serious and stares down at the many flavor options. She opts for strawberry, figuring it can’t be too bad. _

****

_ Alex insists on paying and quickly grabs her choice of a cherry, and grabs a blueberry flavor. After they purchase their candy they quickly make their way back to the car, and get settled. Alex looking like she may burst from the excitement of it. Lena neatly rips of a corner of the package and pours a few rocks into her hand. Alex gives her a nod of encouragement and she apprehensively pours the candy into her mouth. It only takes a few seconds for the candy in her mouth to start popping, and Alex bursts out laughing at the look on her face.  _

****

_ “So?” Alex asks ripping into her own candy. Lena pounders the question for a second, but smiles. _

****

_ “Weird… but good.” _

****

_ “Yes! See I told you!” Alex starts the car back up, and they quickly continue on their way, pop rocks in hand. _

****

_ “By the way you looked like a kid trying a lemon for the first time.” The roar of the engine isn’t enough to drown out Lena’s laughter. _

****

\-----

****

“See, didn’t the pop rocks make it better?” Alex asks while pulling up through the half mile driveway. The entire property, besides the ocean but including the driveway, is surrounded by thick trees to assure privacy. 

****

“Yes, you were right.” Lena laughs, “What  **had** I been thinking not including them originally.” Lena throws her hands up in the air in mock exclamation.

****

“You clearly w-” the rest of the words die in Alex’s throat when they finally make it through the clearing and the property opens up before them. A beautiful two story house set lower down the hill they stop on. The walls and roof are angular and are a beautiful mix of natural colors and modern design. The driveway stops right above the house, and there is a staircase winding down to the main house through sand and tall swaying grass. Alex can see that off to the left is a second smaller version of the main house, possibly for staff or a pool house. Beyond the two houses, Alex can see the ocean stretched out before them. Her face is in absolute awe, and she isn’t brought out of her staring until Lena lightly touches her leg.

****

“You like it?”

****

“Do I… Do I like it?” Alex asks incredulously, but looks over to see some vulnerability in Lena’s eyes. “Lena it’s amazing.” 

****

“It was the first thing I bought with my own money.” Alex softens at the admission, understanding in her eyes. “It was the first thing the Luthors had no claim to.” Alex leans over and pulls Lena into a soft kiss. Pouring all of her love and understanding into it. It may have gone on forever if not for a loud yell from the top of the stairs.

****

“Girlfriend! Look at you go!” Alex and Lena startle apart, and look over to see a black man in board shorts whistling at them, while an older white man swats at him. He looks over at them apologetically. Alex is about to shout at them, when Lena rests her hand back on her leg and shakes her head with a smile. She gets out of the car and the first man wastes no time in running over to her and scooping her up into a crushing hug.

****

“It has been too long Kash.” Lena says after she’s been put down.

****

“Lena darling, it’s been ages.” The man, Kash, says mockingly, while the other man comes over to give Lena a hug. 

****

“But just wait till you see what I made you and your girl for dinner. Speaking of…” Kash and John turn and aim their sights on Alex, who has turned off the car and gotten their bags out of the trunk. Her eyes widen slightly when she sees all of the attention has turned to her unexpectedly. Lena walks closer to her, the other two following; Kash can barely contain his excitement. 

****

“Alex, meet John and Kash Hugli.” She motions to the two men. “John, Kash, this is Alex.” Lena wraps her arm around the woman’s waist. Alex ever the gentlewoman puts her hand out to shake. John shakes it, but Kash startles Alex when he pulls her in for a bone crushing hug before she can even finish shaking John’s hand. It makes the group laugh.

****

“I’m a hugger if you couldn’t tell.” Kash says after putting Alex down.

****

“You should definitely meet my sister then.” She rubs her ribs, checking them for bruising. “How do you two know Lena?”

****

“They are friends, who are gracious enough to watch my house while I’m away.” Lena cuts in, and Kash just shakes his head.

****

“This woman is too generous I tell you.” Kash starts, waving off Lena’s protest. “She pays us a salary whether or not she’s here, and offers us a beautiful house to stay in for free.” Kash has motioned the smaller house that looks like an exact replica of the larger house. Lena is blushing, and blushes harder when Alex pulls her into a side hug offering her own praises.

****

“My man over here takes care of the house,” Kash ruffles John’s hair, who huffs and swipes at him. “And I’m your resident chef.”

****

“Oh you definitely need to meet my sister then.” Alex says, and Kash perks up.

****

“She’s a big foodie?” 

****

Lena snorts, “Oh you could say that.”

****

“Well come on in you two, and we’ll get you settled.” John reaches for the bags, but Alex beats him to it.

****

“Damn Lena, hot and a gentlewoman, way to go girl!” This time both blush, but Lena does high five Kash when prompted, while John just rolls his eyes.

****

The inside is just as spectacular as the outside. It’s furnished with natural and soft looking accents. It surprises Alex how opposite it is to Lena’s office. It makes her wonder who Lena is underneath the put together CEO. She hopes this weekend will help her find out in more ways than one. Alex can’t help the blush that sprouts on her cheeks when her mind starts to wander down that rabbit hole. Luckily no one seems to have noticed.

****

“The master bedroom is just this way.” John has led them up stairs and back towards the entrance of the house. It’s a short walk down the hallway, and Alex glances behind her at the doors on the opposite side of the stairs.

****

“The rooms on the other side of the house are for guests.” Kash answers the unasked question. “Not that Lena has brought many of them. But she is gracious enough to allow our guests to stay there.” He playfully nudges the woman in question. After just a few moments they arrive at large double doors. John opens them, and allows Alex to enter with the bags. 

****

The first thing that hits Alex is one wall is missing. In its place is a massive glass panel, allowing them to overlook the ocean unrestricted. The second thing she notices is the natural grey wood and the bright natural colors that again surprise her. She sets down the bags and looks back towards Lena, extending her hand for the other woman.

****

“It’s just like you.” Lena scrunches her eyebrows in confusion, and Alex pulls her closer. “Beautiful,” she whispers. If the ‘damn girl’ was anything to go by she wasn’t as quiet as she assumed. She pays the men no mind and pulls Lena in for a small peck of a kiss.

****

“Lena why don’t we let Alex get your stuff sorted, and come help me finish in the kitchen.” Kash calls her over and quickly escorts her out of the room leaving John and Alex. Alex fidgets slightly, unsure how to act in this scenario. She’s unsure if the man before her is a friend, staff, or something else.

****

“The house really is beautiful.” Alex is unsure why she said it.  _ It’s not like it’s his house, _ she berates herself. “The decor is somewhat surprising I must admit. Not at all like her office or penthouse for that matter.”

****

“Lena has always know how to present herself. This is one place she’s never had to present who she wants to be, she can just be.” Alex nods in understanding.

****

“How long have you known her?” The way he talks makes Alex wonder how far back this relationship truly goes.

****

“I used to work for her parents.” John laughs at the look of shock on Alex’s face. “Lena was just a child when I was fired for ‘misconduct’.” It takes but a few seconds for Alex to figure out what that meant. And John quickly waves off her anger. “It was the best thing that could have happened, honestly. Just after I was fired I met Kash. And we haven’t been apart since.” John gets a sweet smile on his face as he thinks of the man downstairs. “If we had met while I was still working for them. Well… I either would have lost my job anyways or him; maybe even both.”

****

“That’s horrible. But I have to wonder how you ended up working for Lena; especially after what her family did.” John gets an amused look on his face.

****

“Truthfully, the first time she came to talk to me, I slammed the door in her face.” Alex’s jaw drops in shock.

****

“No.”

****

“Yes. She introduced herself, and I slammed the door. Hard.” He chuckles. “It seems I hadn’t quite let go of all that anger.”

****

“So how…”

****

“Lena is stubborn, she came back. The next time she came to the door Kash answered it. Luckily for both of us. Like the hostess he is he invited her in for dinner. Believe me I was in shock when I came home from work to find Lena Luthor covered in flour in my kitchen.”

****

“He put her to work?” Alex can’t help the laugh that bubbles out at the thought of a flour covered Lena.

****

“Oh of course he did. What do you think those two are doing right now?” He motions to the door and the laughter that is bubbling up from downstairs.

****

“So what happened after you got over your shock?” By this point Alex and John have moved to the comfort of chairs, instead of standing around.

****

“Well we sat down to one of the most tense meals I’ve ever eaten.” John huffs out a laugh in reminiscence. “Then Lena told me about herself. She told me how she was there when I got fired. How long she has been hiding her true self. How she wanted to make up for her families mistakes. But mostly how she wanted somewhere to go that was hers, with people she could trust to let her just be.”

****

“Wow. What did you say?”

****

“Well we had a couple of Whiskey’s… the Irish kind...”

****

“Of course.”

****

“But I said yes. I could see who she was, deep down. I was convinced.” He shrugs his shoulders like it was nothing.

****

“The view didn’t convince you.” Alex jokes, making John laugh.

****

“I think it sold Kash.”

****

Just then a loud crash sounds from downstairs, and Alex and John are on their feet in an instance. Kash shouts up a ‘we’re fine!’ and John just shakes his head.

****

“Maybe we should head down before those two burn the place to the ground.” Alex suggests.

****

“Probably a good idea.” John nods, but reaches a hand out to stop Alex. “Just so you know Alex… what Kash said earlier about Lena not having many guests… you’re the first.” He taps his temple telling Alex to think about that. Alex is unable to find the words to express how that makes her feel, so she just follows John down to the kitchen.

****

***

****

It only takes about ten minutes for the other three to realize Alex is the true fire hazard in the kitchen. She is shooed out and told to go look around the house. Since she didn’t get to see much on the trek to the bedroom, she decides to start with the living room. What is most notable is the massive pointed window. It houses a beautiful view of the backyard, and the beaches and tree line beyond. Alex is amazed at the way the house seems to bring the outside in. Between the color scheme and all of the massive windows, she feels like they never actually stepped inside.

****

Speaking of the outside, it’s where she heads next. Leaving the living room she walks around the outside of the house, and quickly comes upon a seating area. There are two lounge chairs and a large outdoor daybed, all made of a natural looking grey wood. She flops face down onto the bed and groans when she feels how soft it is. She flips over and stares at the blue sky, nearly falling asleep. She isn’t sure how long she sits there before she feels the cushion dip next to her. She looks over to see Lena laying down next to her. 

****

“Food ready?” Alex’s stomach grumbles when she asks, as if it was seconding the question.

****

“Almost.” Lena chuckles and flips onto her side to look down at Alex. Her hair is fanned out around her like a crown, and Lena can’t help but play with the ends of it. Run her fingers through it. Scrape her nails on her scalp. When she does, Alex moans and pulls Lena closer. Wrapping her arm around her. She nuzzles at Lena’s throat and leaves soft kisses on every inch of skin that she can reach. Alex is about to pull Lena into a kiss, when an idea strikes. She reaches down into her left pocket and pulls out the rest of her pop rocks. 

****

“Really Alex? Am I not sweet enough for you?” Lena jokes, and Alex just rolls her eyes. She sprinkles a bit of candy into her hand and comes closer to Lena who is still hovering above her. 

****

“Trust me, and kiss me.” She throws the candy in her mouth, and Lena wastes no time leaning down to capture her lips. Her tongue slips in and is immediately tangling with Alex’s tongue. The candy rocks have started to pop between their tongues adding an entirely new sensation to their kiss. 

****

When they part for air, Lena couldn’t help but exclaim “wow.” 

****

“Mmmm… told you.” Alex adds more candy to her mouth chucking the empty packet on the table by them. She pulls Lena back down and wastes no time resuming their kiss. Alex is about to run her hand under the back of Lena’s shirt when they are interrupted by John clearing his throat. 

****

“Food is ready. Shall we bring it out here?” Lena nearly topples off the bed in her haste to move away from Alex, while Alex attempts to wipe her mouth of the lipstick and candy now covering it.

****

“I don’t know if they want it, Johnny.” Kash sasses. “They seem to have been enjoying some candy, and it seems like Alex was all ready to eat something else sweet.” Kash adds teasingly, but doesn’t manage to dodge the pillow thrown at him by Alex of all people. John just looks at Lena with a raised eyebrow.

****

“Y-yes.” Lena stutters and her face is beat red. Alex isn’t faring much better. But when the men  leave both can’t help but burst into laughter.

****

The men come out with two plates for each woman and two plates for themselves. They set down two of the plates on the wooden table. The other two stay in their hands as they take their leave towards their own house on the property. Both Alex and Lena give them a confused look, as they make their leave.

****

“Oh don’t look so sad darling, you’ll see us tomorrow morning. But you and your girl need some  **alone** time.” Kash chuckles, and waves as him and John walk away.

****

“Why do I feel like I just got permission to have sex from my girlfirend’s parents?” Alex deadpans making Lena snort and spit out the sip of water she just took. Luckily she didn’t choke this time. Lena looks Alex up and down for a moment before focusing on her food.

****

“We better eat this before it gets cold.” Lena says clearing her throat and not looking at Alex. Who, for the record, had already begun inhaling her food, and almost didn’t hear Lena. 

****

“On it.” She says around a mouthful of food, making Lena laugh. Lena looks over to see Alex’s cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk. She swallows her food in one big gulp, so she can talk without spitting food.

****

“In all seriousness though. They seem really nice Lena.” 

****

“They are.” Lena looks wistfully to their house. Turning back to Alex she sees the woman with a soft look on her face.

****

“How long have you known them?”

****

“Well I knew John when I was younger. He had worked for my parents.”

****

“He mentioned that.” Alex interrupts, and Lena raises her eyebrows in mild surprise. 

****

“Yes well. A few months after Lex went insane, I nearly went insane... Figuratively.” Lena says as if it’s almost a question to herself.

****

“It’s hard to say.” Lena makes a so - so hand gesture. “The pressure I was under, not just from the board but from myself, my family. It was almost too much. Until one day I got in the car and I just drove. And continued driving until I hit this beach. I bought this house 30 minutes later with money I had been saving separate from the Luthor Empire. It was all mine, and mine alone.” 

****

Alex hadn’t wanted to interrupt. She just scooted closer to Lena, her food forgotten. Well pushed back in her mind. She is a Danvers after all and that food is amazing. But Lena, Lena is the focus.

****

“After I bought it, I realized that while it was great to get away and stay here, I couldn’t stay forever. The company needed me, and I needed someone to take care of it when I was gone. That is where John came in. I knew him from when I was younger. Obviously you know that. But because of what I knew of him before, I knew I could be myself around him. That this place would still be mine when I wanted it, and he deserved to have things made right with my family.”

****

When Lena was done she took a long sip of her water. Alex had held her hand at some point and was softly pulling on it. 

****

“You have such a big heart. All I want to do is protect it, protect you.” Alex pulls Lena into her arms. Her head resting on Alex’s heart. They stayed like that for a few moments before Lena noticed Alex hadn’t finished her food.

****

“You better finish if you don’t want to hurt Kash’s feelings.” Lena jokes, but it takes only a few seconds for Alex to drop Lena and start to inhale her food again. A grunt had come from Lena when she had been unceremoniously dropped, but she just shakes her head while sitting up.

****

“I forgot what happens if you are in between a Danvers and their food.” She snaps a quick photo of Alex with her cheeks stuffed to show Kash tomorrow. After Alex is finished scrapping her plate of every small piece of food, she took Lena’s threat very seriously, Lena stands and extends her hand. Alex takes it along with her plate and cup, and is lead back inside to the kitchen. Alex takes the plates from Lena with a kiss on her cheek.

****

“Why don’t you go relax upstairs and I’ll be up there soon.” 

****

***

****

When Alex finally makes it upstairs she finds Lena out on the balcony. She has changed into some dark grey yoga pants and a loose flowing black tank top. Alex quickly changes out of her jeans and into some loose shorts, choosing to leave her t-shirt on. She scrounges around their bags until she finds the bottle of whiskey she brought. She grabs a couple of crystal glasses and makes her way to Lena. 

****

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asks as she pours them each two fingers. 

****

“You.” Lena takes the proffered glass and takes a slow sip. 

****

“What about me?” Alex attempts nonchalance but doesn’t quite pull it off.

****

“About what you said downstairs… wanting to protect my heart.” 

****

“I meant it.”

****

“I know.” Lena gets off her seat, grabs her glass, and makes herself comfortable in Alex’s lap. 

****

“I know you mean it. You are the first person to say that. To say you want to protect me. That I believe that is.” 

****

“But Kara…”

****

“I believe Kara, but she has a duty as Supergirl and as my friend. She will protect my life, but you…” Lena downs the rest of her glass. “I believe you when you say you will protect my heart.” 

****

Alex doesn’t even get a chance to answer before Lena has captured her lips in a searing kiss. The kind that leaves Alex breathless and needing air. She detaches herself from Lena long enough to put down her glass, and suck in much needed air. 

****

“I will protect your heart, Lena.” Alex gasps out, and looks at Lena’s kiss swollen lips, wet with saliva and whiskey. She flicks her eyes up to Lena’s green orbs that are staring intently at her.

****

“You know I’ll protect yours too right?” Lena asks, her voice lower than before. And it isn’t a declaration of love, but it’s a promise. Alex doesn’t answer with words, but instead leans in to capture Lena’s lips. A gasp falls from them when Alex lightly bites her bottom lip. Alex’s hands finally found Lena’s naked back, and softly graze it. 

****

Lena however is not being so gentle. After the bite Alex deposited on her lip, Lena ran her hands through Alex’s hair and pulled. This made Alex gasp out and arch into her touch. Her eyes, now open, are glazed over, with her pupils blown wide. Lena wastes no time attaching her lips to Alex’s throat and sucking and licking her skin. Alex can’t help the moan that falls from her lips when Lena bites down on a sensitive area right between her neck and shoulders.

****

Alex’s hands have started to lightly scratch down Lena’s back, and grab her butt to pull her in. She has adjusted their legs, so Lena is now completely straddling her waist, making it easier to slot their hips together. Her hands never venture under Lena’s yoga pants though. They haven’t discussed anything further than over her pants and Alex wants to respect that.

****

“Alex go ahead.” Lena husks out into Alex’s neck. Alex for her part isn’t sure she heard her correctly with the blood pumping in her ears.

****

“What?” She breathes out hard. She attempts to catch Lena’s eyes, so there are no misunderstandings.

****

“Your hands…” Lena is breathing just as hard as Alex is. Both clearly impacted by what they have been doing. “You can put them under if you want.”

****

“Do you want me too?”   


“God yes.” Lena breathes out and goes back to Alex’s neck, but starts to work her way down to her collarbone. 

****

Alex doesn’t have to be told twice, and after running her nails down Lena’s back for good measure slips them under the back of her yoga pants. What Alex wasn’t expecting was that Lena had forgone any type of underwear. Alex wondered if she had planned this. She doesn’t let herself dwell on it, and instead captures Lena’s lips again.

****

They spend what feels like forever just kissing. They slow themselves down. Savoring in each other’s touch, and not wanting to rush. Lena is back to just running her fingers through Alex’s hair, and Alex is lightly caressing Lena’s back and squeezing her butt. Both of which have Lena hypersensitive and very turned on. Unfortunately they have been out there long enough that the cold air is starting to affect them, no matter how hot they both feel. After the third shiver runs through Lena - to be fair one of those wasn’t due to the cold - Alex pulls her mouth away from her neck.

****

“Do you want to go inside?”

****

There is so much more to that question than just a change in location.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think? here is the link to my inspiration for the beach house:
> 
> https://ltoliviabenson.tumblr.com/post/185761612620/american-beauty-american-psycho-fic this
> 
> Also, if anyone is still reading, I left this chapter open ended for a reason. Adding in a sex scene will change the rating, but I wanted to see who actually wanted one if anyone. Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> As always I live off of comments and Kudos!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What two chapters in 1 weekend! Madness! Thanks for everyone who commented on the last chapter. I'm glad my hiatus didn't stop people from reading it.
> 
> Please notice the rating change. Anyone who doesn't want to read it, well it's basically the entire chapter, so you'll have to wait till next time. 4000 words of smut and fluff, but this is not just sex for sex sake. Also this is my first time writing a sex scene so be gentle.

“I-I didn’t necessarily mean f-for you know… sex… I just meant you seem cold, and I just…” Alex stutters out, and Lena can’t explain it, but her heart just about melts at how adorkable this woman is. This woman that she gets to call hers. 

 

“Alex.” Lena softly cuts off the rambling. “Let’s go inside.” 

 

She steps down from Alex’s lap, her shirt flowing back down from where Alex had risen it in the back. Alex gulps when Lena puts her hand out for Alex to take, and is pulled up by a surprising amount of strength. When they make their way back inside Lena fists the front of Alex’s shirt and pulls her back into a breathless kiss. Alex can’t help the moan that is released, and backs Lena up against the wall. She puts her hand against the wall right before to soften the blow to Lena’s head. Once there she slots her leg in between Lena’s, causing the other woman to gasp and buck her hips. The separation of their lips gives Alex time to shake the fog from her mind, as Lena attempts to pull Alex back down for another kiss.

 

“Wait, wait.” Alex pulls back slightly, ignoring the small look of hurt on Lena’s face. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Lena asks breathless, but with an undertone of vulnerability. The excitement and adrenaline has worked so far to combat her insecurities, but as they slow down and step back, they begin to creep in.

 

“I… uh… just want to be clear about what we are doing. How far we are going tonight.” Alex pulls her leg back, but leaves her hand on the wall.

 

“Could we sit and talk first? I just… I don’t want to push you to do something you aren’t ready for.” Alex says in a soft tone, making Lena pull her in for a soft kiss. She can feel her dark thoughts coming back, and is trying her hardest to keep them at bay. But Alex is being so sweet, she feels like she can’t deny her peace of mind.

 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you Alex Danvers, but you are the sweetest person alive.” Lena mumbles into Alex’s lips between kisses, making the other woman blush. 

 

“I just know this is your first time… with a woman…” Alex leads Lena over to the loveseat and they both sit down, still holding hands. “I just don’t want there to be any regret.”

 

“Alex, you have been so patient with me, and I lo-...” She takes a deep breath, and starts again. “I appreciate it more than words can say. But I feel like I’m ready to go there with you…” The thoughts and insecurities are starting to break down her walls. “If you don’t mind being patient and teaching me.” The strength that she started this evening with has now dwindled down into insecurity and nerves. 

 

“Hey…” Lena is refusing to look at Alex, and is instead lost in her own spiral of insecurities. Alex doesn’t let it deter her however, and drops down to her knees in front of Lena, forcing eye contact.

 

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again. It is your pace. I don’t care if you have years of experience, or no experience at all. If we do it tonight or never. I want to be with you Lena… if you’ll have me.”

 

Lena is blinking back tears, and pulls Alex in for a deep kiss.

 

“Thank you Alex.” Lena says softly, a breath away from Alex’s lips; her hands resting on her shoulder and tangled in her hair.

 

“So…” Alex wiggles her eyebrows, making Lena laugh.

 

“You dork.” Lena says fondly. “Ok, take me to bed.” 

 

Lena bites her lip in excitement, and is waiting for Alex to get up. Instead Alex just grins then leans in for another deep kiss, nipping at Lena’s bottom lip. It’s something that always makes the younger woman gasp, and Lena does not disappoint. While they continue to kiss, Alex’s hands have worked their way up Lena’s legs and around to her butt. She pulls Lena closer, so she’s on the edge of the seat, her center pressed against Alex’s abs. This makes them both moan. Alex scratches her nails back down Lena’s legs, and taps on them. Lena quickly gets the idea and wraps her legs around Alex’s waist. Lena can feel Alex shift around under her.

 

“Wait…” Lena says breathless. “You aren’t going to try to lift me?” Lena asks in disbelief. Alex doesn’t even answer, just gives her a smirk.

 

“Wha…” That’s all Lena gets out before Alex stands up with Lena in her arms. She chuckles at the squeak that comes out of her, and Lena smacks her shoulder.

 

“You ass.”

 

“Yeah but a cute ass.”

 

“Mmhmm, sure.” Lena says with a smile on her face. She leans in to kiss Alex while the older woman walks the short distance to the bed. She lowers herself down into a seated position with Lena’s legs still wrapped around her waist. Alex doesn’t waste any time tugging on Lena’s tank top in question. 

 

“Yes… yes, take it off. Yours too. I want to see you.” Lena moans into Alex’s lips, while she puts her legs on either side of Alex. It’s quick work getting Lena’s top off, but Alex leaves her bra in place for now. She takes a moment to kiss her collarbone, and work her way down the right breast before switching to do the same to the left. She starts to kiss down the center of her chest, while one hand snakes behind Lena to unhook her bra. Lena crosses her arms, catching the bra before it bares her chest. Alex leans up to give her a slow reassuring kiss, and Lena lets her arms and the bra drop. 

 

Alex runs her hands up along Lena’s back continuing to kiss her. She can feel Lena’s nipples hardening against her chest, and pulls back to take her first look. Her breasts are larger than Alex’s, with soft rosey looking nipples. When Alex looks back up Lena is biting her lower lip, with a look of nervous excitement.

 

“Beautiful.” Alex says, softly kissing her right breast. 

 

“Gorgeous.” Alex kisses her left breast. She swipes her tongue down in between them, causing Lena to let out a wanton moan and clutch Alex’s hair. Alex kisses and licks Lena’s breast never going where Lena wants it most.

 

“A-Alex.” Lena stutters out pulling hard on Alex’s hair. She chuckles, but moves towards Lena’s right nipple. She starts with a light swipe of her tongue, and she’s glad she did because just that light pressure makes Lena arch and moan. Clearly she’s very sensitive here. Alex does the same to the other nipple, and is soon kissing and licking lightly back and forth. After a few minutes Alex returns to kissing along her collar bone, and back up her neck. Lena is grateful, because for a second there she was worried she may cum from that alone. 

 

“Alex.” Lena says breathless, and Alex hums against her neck. The vibrations work their way both up and down, driving Lena crazy. “You can… leave a mark.” Lena is breathing hard, and Alex pulls back quirking her eyebrow up. “If you want.”

 

That’s all it takes for Alex to lean back in with a bite to Lena’s neck, making her cry out. Alex starts to softly suck and nip at the expanse of soft skin laid out before her. 

 

“You-r you’re shirt.” Lena is grasping at the top of Alex’s shirt. Alex wastes no time pulling on the back of her shirt, her only regret is that she has to detach her lips from Lena’s neck to get it over her head. Alex still has her bra on, but pulls back so Lena can look down at her. Lena is biting her lip, while her eyes roam over Alex’s torso; who has leaned back against her hands to allow Lena a better look. 

 

Tentatively Lena raises her hands. Alex doesn’t move, allowing Lena to work at her own pace. She starts safe, at the top of Alex’s shoulders. She moves her hands down Alex’s side softly until they are placed below her breasts on her ribs. Her right hand lifts, and gently she runs one finger in between Alex’s breasts over the tattoo she finds there. 

 

“I never noticed you had tattoos.” Lena isn’t sure why she whispers it. Maybe, to keep this moment’s intimacy; maybe, to keep her voice steady.

 

“I’ve got a few more you haven’t seen yet.” Alex says in the same soft volume. Lena runs the finger over the tattoo a couple times, while running her left hand across the tattoo under Alex’s breasts. The one in between her breasts looks to be a kryptonian symbol of some kind, while the one under her breasts are the phases of the moon. Only it’s not earth’s moon. Lena vows to come back to that.

 

“I can’t wait to see all of them and learn about their meaning.” Lena leans forward to kiss Alex, who sits up to meet her. Lena’s hands find purchase in her hair again, until one snakes down to unclasp her bra. She fumbles for a minute, but eventually manages to unclasp it. Alex let it slide down her arms, as she continues to kiss Lena. Lena’s hands are again finding the safest place to be, which is Alex’s hair. When she pulls back, Alex goes back to her earlier stance of leaning on her hands. Lena’s eyes aren’t resting anywhere in particular, but instead flicking all over Alex’s newly exposed skin.

 

“Beautiful.” Lena copies Alex’s earlier sentiment, while bending down to give Alex a kiss. Lena’s hands have moved to Alex’s abs, which flex under her touch. Slowly she moves them up to cup Alex’s breasts. She can feel Alex’s nipples harden under her touch, and Lena captures the small whimper that comes out of Alex’s mouth. Alex has been patiently letting Lena explore, but the light teasing touches are starting to drive her crazy. 

 

“Lena…” Lena’s eyes flick up to Alex’s. “Harder… squeeze harder.” Lena does as instructed and squeezes Alex’s breasts harder, making Alex moan and arch into her touch. Lena’s eyes widen in awe at being able to effect Alex this much. Lena decides to be bold and pinch Alex’s right nipple, making the woman below her buck and moan. Alex’s arms give out and she falls back; Lena follows right along. She starts kissing Alex’s collar bone, moving lower until she can swipe her tongue across Alex’s nipple.

 

“Su-uc-” Alex can’t complete the word, but Lena understands what she’s trying to say. Switching breasts, she kisses her way down again, and this time sucks the nipple into her mouth. Alex’s hand grasps onto Lena’s hair keeping her in place. Lena detaches with a pop and goes back to the right nipple. After a bit of back and forth, Lena feels Alex tug on her hair. She crawls up Alex’s body, and kisses her. She can feel Alex put her hands on her back and tug down. They both moan when their body’s press against each other. Their nipples brushing.

 

After kissing for a few more minutes, Alex hooks her leg around Lena’s waist flipping them effortlessly. Lena can’t help the squeak that comes out when she lands on her back, with Alex hovering above her.

 

“Let me make you feel good?” Alex asks, and Lena just nods her head. She’s too dazed to do much more. Alex leans down for a brief kiss, before working her way back down to Lena’s breasts. Alex thinks she might be in love with them in all honesty. She softly cups the left one while running her tongue softly on the underside of the right one. She continues up and swirls her tongue around her right nipple while softly pinching the left. 

 

Lena is left breathless and arching into Alex’s touch. Her hips buck when Alex pinches her left nipple and she is sure she has soaked through her yoga pants. Alex switches breasts, giving the same treatment, and causing the same result. She moves her way down in between Lena’s breasts, stopping to suck a hickey under the left one. She kisses down Lena’s stomach, and dips her tongue into her navel, making Lena laugh. She stops when she gets to the top of her yoga pants. She kisses along the seam, and snakes her hand up in between Lena’s legs. She lightly rubs against Lena’s center, making the other woman moan.

 

“Can I…”

 

“Yes!” Lena doesn’t let Alex finish before she shouts her answer, and attempts to push her yoga pants off. Alex bats her hands away, and slowly peels the pants down Lena’s legs. Alex is watching Lena intently, and after a few long agonizing seconds she manages to get the pants off. Lena’s legs are bent and Alex gently opens them up to settle in between them. She lays her body on Lena’s, her forearms resting on either side of her head. She looks down into Lena’s pupil blown eyes; can feel Lena’s wetness on her  lower stomach. She kisses her soft and slow.

 

“How are you doing?” Alex asks against her kiss bruised lips.

 

“So good.” Lena says with a happy sigh.

 

“Do you want to keep going?” Alex, always the gentlewoman.

 

“Hell yes.” Lena laughs out, making Alex grin.

 

Alex leans down to kiss her, and brushes her hand up Lena’s thigh towards her center. She lands her hand on Lena’s hip bone and strokes her thumb there for a few moments. Her hand starts to slide down lower, she can feel the small tufts of hair, and she continues down, dipping one finger into Lena’s wetness. She softly explores, never lingering too long in one area, but everything she is doing is making Lena moan into Alex’s mouth. When she touches Lena’s clit for the first time with just the tip of her finger, Lena pulls her mouth away, throws her head back, and yells Alex’s name. Alex uses this opportunity to nip and suck on Lena’s neck as she softly circles her clit. She lowers her finger and starts to tease her entrance when Lena’s body tenses up. Alex quickly withdrawals her hand, and searches Lena’s face for the problem. Lena is a mix of apprehension and embarrassment. 

 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Alex asks softly while hovering over Lena. 

 

“I-I’m sorry.” Lena stutters out embarrassed.

 

“Hey, hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Just tell me what’s wrong. Please?” Alex looks at Lena with big brown eyes full of compassion and understanding.

 

“I… I just don’t have good… experiences with… penetration.” Lena says it in a quiet voice, as if it’s something to be ashamed of; her face heating up with a slight blush.

 

“Baby, Baby, It’s okay.” Alex grabs a hold of Lena’s hand, interlacing their fingers. “Thank you for telling me, and just so you know…” She kisses her knuckles. “Lots of women don’t like penetration.”

 

“Really?” Lena asks with so much innocence that Alex can’t help but give her a peck on the lips.

 

“Really.” Lena seems to relax finally, and Alex starts to kiss her again. It only takes a few moments for the two of them to find their groove again, and Alex starts to kiss down Lena’s body once again. She stops again at her hips, and nips the bone there teasingly. She kisses back up Lena’s stomach, giving a quick swipe on each nipple, and captures Lena’s mouth in a heated kiss. Alex’s hand finds her clit easily, and starts in on slow circles, making Lena moan. Her left hand snakes up in between their bodies and starts to play with Lena’s nipples. The dual sensations send Lena’s body arching into both touches.

 

Alex pinches her nipple, and starts stroking her faster. She switches up her pattern, starting to flick up and down with two fingers. Lena is writhing underneath her, and has given up all attempts at kissing Alex. Instead she is letting out a stream of moans, Alex’s name, and what Alex guesses, is Irish curse words. Alex can tell she’s on the edge of her orgasm, if the hand yanking her hair is any indication. She puts her free hand under Lena’s back to hold her, and at the same time flips her other hand around. She makes a V with her index and middle finger slotting them around Lena’s clit. Then all at once she pinches her fingers together, rubs Lena with her thumb, and bites down on her neck. The sensation of all of that is enough to trigger Lena’s orgasm.

 

Lena’s entire body has gone taut, and her back bends so harshly that Alex is actually worried for a second. Her body isn’t moving, but she screams out Alex’s name when the first wave of her orgasm hits. 

 

Alex continues to rub her through her orgasm, and slows down when Lena seems to be coming down from her high. Her body is still shaking through aftershocks, and Alex wraps her arms around her. Kissing her cheeks and giving her praises. It takes Lena a few minutes to completely come back to herself. She wraps her arms around Alex in her vulnerability, and holds tight. 

 

“That was… that was… is it always like that?” Lena asks against Alex’s neck making the other woman chuckle. 

 

“I’m just that good.” Alex jokes, and Lena smacks her shoulder. “Kidding, kidding. How are you feeling though?” Alex pulls back to look down at Lena.

 

“Amazing.” Lena smiles. “I never knew an orgasm felt like that.” Alex smiles a smug smile, then frowns confused.

 

“Wait what?”

 

“That was my first real orgasm.”

 

“You mean you’ve never.” Alex makes a fist jerking off motion. Lena just scrunches her eyebrows together. 

 

“I’m not exactly built that way darling.” Alex rolls her eyes and Lena laughs.

 

“You know what I meant.” Alex huffs.

 

“Yes I did, and I do, but it’s different with another person.” Alex smiles at Lena.

 

“Well I’m glad I could be of service.” Alex says on Lena’s lips, then captures them. Lena runs her finger nails down Alex’s back, making the woman moan. She stops at the top of Alex’s shorts and slips her finger under them. She pinches the material and snaps it against Alex’s skin. Alex pulls back a bit startled, and Lena just smirks under her.

 

“My turn.” Alex can feel heat pool low in her belly at that comment, but again the gentlewoman comes out.

 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Alex says soothingly, but Lena just pushes on Alex’s shoulder.

 

“I’m Lena Luthor,” She pushes Alex flat on her back. “and Lena Luthor is nobody’s pillow princess.” Alex just raises her eyebrows at that, mildly impressed. Lena doesn’t give her any time to answer, and leans down to suck on Alex’s neck. She bites down, making Alex release a moan, and soothes it with her tongue. She moves down to nip at Alex’s collar bone, and continues her way down to her breasts. She sucks in first her right nipple, then moves over to the left. She follows her path downward, stopping to nip at Alex’s ribs. She runs her tongue over Alex’s toned stomach, which flexes under her touch.

 

“God your abs are amazing.” Lena husks as she continues to kiss them.

 

“T-th-thanks.” Alex’s breathing is coming out labored, and her center is starting to ache with need.

 

Lena sits up and runs her hands over Alex’s body, squeezing her breasts. She lifts a single eyebrow when she gets to the top of Alex’s shorts. Alex just gives her a nod, too far gone to do anything else. Lena doesn’t hesitate to practically rip both Alex’s shorts and boyshorts off of her. Lena settles on her knees, in between Alex’s spread legs. She slowly starts to run her hands up and down her legs. 

 

Unlike Lena who has a neatly trimmed landing strip, Alex has a wider triangle of hair. Alex also has another tattoo that wraps around her hip bone and travels down to one of the points of the triangle. Lena stares at the design, running her fingers over it. It’s got a few parallel swooping lines, that curve around and spread over her hip but start at a point. They branch off from one central area, and have leaves along some of the lines.

 

“Lena…” Alex groans, not really impatient, but incredibly hot and bothered. It seems to snap Lena out of whatever daze she was in, and she leans down to run her tongue over the tattoo. She licks up each of the branches, and nips at Alex’s side. She keeps going up and bites at Alex’s nipple making her yell out. She goes over to the other nipple and bites down a tad harder, making Alex buck her hips and yell out. Then she does something Alex wasn’t expecting. She kisses her way back down. And before Alex gets the chance to tell her she doesn’t have to Lena is swiping her tongue through Alex’s folds. 

 

Alex moans and clutches the sheets next to her as Lena continues with the broad strokes through Alex’s wetness. When she flicks her tongue on Alex’s clit, she nearly loses it. If she doesn’t get Lena to slow down, she isn’t going to last long. Which isn’t a terrible thing, but this is their first time. She doesn’t want to cum like a 13 year old boy getting laid for the first time. 

 

“Lena…” Alex gasps out. “Lena, slow down.” Lena pulls back and sits up on her forearms to look at Alex.

 

“Sorry, I got carried away, but you do taste good.” Lena says with a smile that could only be called salacious. It makes Alex just groan and drop her head on the bed. Alex doesn’t get another word out, because after the brief pause Lena jumps right in. Although, this time she has slowed down. She is just lapping at Alex leisurely. Lena slips her hands under Alex, and grabs a firm hold on her butt. She uses this leverage to pull Alex closer. She had been avoiding Alex’s clit, but now flicks it every few swipes. Alex shows her appreciation with a buck of her hips and a moan falling from her lips.

 

“Alex?” Lena pulls back, so as not to be muffled. “Do you like penetration?” Lena takes her groan as a yes, and slips one finger in. Once in Lena doesn’t move. Both to give Alex a chance to adjust to this new addition, and to marvel at how it feels to be inside her girlfriend. It’s Alex’s prompting that finally gets Lena to move. She slowly pumps her finger in and out, and she can’t help stare at it amazed. She watches for another few minutes, then finally lowers herself down to start licking at Alex’s clit again. The dual sensations make Alex’s moan’s sound more desperate. 

 

“More.” She finally begs out, and Lena eagerly complies. She pulls out her finger and replaces it with two. She continues to softly lick around Alex’s clit, like Alex had done to her, while pumping her fingers in a steady pace.

 

“Cu-curl them.” Alex stutters out.

 

“What?”

 

“As you pull out…” Alex is breathing heavy. “Curl your fingers.”

 

Lena does as she’s told and the next time out she curls her fingers. Alex nearly bucks Lena right off of her, and she figures she did something right. It only takes a few more faster strokes, and a hard suck to her clit, before Alex is crying out Lena’s name, practically ripping the bed sheets. Lena slows down her fingers, to help ease Alex down from her high. She slowly pulls her fingers out, and Alex trembles with an aftershock, still quite sensitive. Lena’s fingers are coated in Alex’s release, and she becomes curious. She swipes her tongue over her fingers to taste it. She finds that it’s sort of tangy, salty, but good. She can see Alex is watching her, so she puts one finger in her mouth and sucks it clean. Alex just groans and drops her head back, and Lena laughs. 

 

“So I did okay then?”

 

“Fuck, are you sure you haven’t done that before?”

 

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” Lena laughs, and Alex gestures her to come over to her. She goes up and curls around Alex, her ear pressed to Alex’s heart. Lena traces the moon tattoo, and closes her eyes. She finally feels peaceful; the first time in… maybe her whole life.

 

***

 

Alex wakes up with a scream.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did I do?
> 
> Also here is the link to the tattoo inspirations:
> 
> https://ltoliviabenson.tumblr.com/post/185807696770/american-beauty-american-psycho-alex-tattoo
> 
> PS: I don't know what the difference is on here between mature and explicit, so I just went explicit.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Lena continue their vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back. Thanks for all the comments and kudos. I know my smut chapter was a bit rough, but I promise this chapter is much better and longer! I may go back and edit the smut chapter later. Anyways I hope you guys like it. Fluff, emotion, and a little bit of loving in this chapter.
> 
> TW: Child Abuse mentioned

Alex wakes up with a scream… but to be fair Lena is settled between her legs under the sheet. Lena for her part is chuckling under the covers where she has been successful in waking Alex up. Alex melts into the bed below her as her body goes through the last of her orgrasm’s aftershocks. Lena kisses her way back up Alex’s body and peeks out of the blanket.

****

“Good Morning Darling.” Lena gives her a soft kiss, running her hands up her body. She laughs when Alex just lays there panting, not saying a word. She just raises her index finger asking for a moment. It only takes a few moments for Alex to fully wake up and she quickly flips Lena on the bed.

****

“Morning.” Alex smirks down at her. “What time is breakfast?”

****

Lena leans over to check her phone on the bedside table. 

****

“In about thirty minutes.” Alex bites down on Lena’s nipple, making the woman gasp. 

****

“Perfect.”

****

***

****

The first thing they notice when they come downstairs is the huge spread of food. The second thing is the smug look on Kash’s face. Lena has thrown on some long linen pants with a flowy top, while Alex has thrown on some low rise sweats with a black tank top.

****

“I thought I’d whip you two up some sustenance.” When Lena blushes the larger man’s smug smirk grows, nearly splitting his face. “I hope you two at least came up for air every now and then.” His smug smirk is followed by a cackle when he manages to make Alex blush along with Lena.

****

“By the way... Alex?” Alex perks her head up.

****

“Yeah?”

****

“Nice hickey.” His eyes look down to where Alex’s top has ridden up. She quickly pulls her tank down with another blush.

****

\-----

****

**_Last Night_ **

****

_ “How in the hell have you never done that before?” Alex is still stuttering out, and attempting to find the feeling in her toes again.  _

****

_ “Fast learner?” Lena shrugs and lays her head on Alex’s chest. She thinks this may be her favorite spot. She’s never felt more secure than in Alex’s arms, listening to the steady thrum of her heartbeat. Alex wraps her arms around Lena and lightly caresses her skin, soothing them both down from their highs. _

****

_ “You never told me you had a tattoo.” Alex traces the black lines of the celtic knot on Lena’s shoulder blade. Alex can feel part of a scar underneath it, and traces it towards the middle of her back. She can feel Lena laughing in her arms. _

****

_ “You never told me you had a tattoo, or multiple, either.” Lena tosses back with an arched eyebrow. She folded her hands over Alex’s torso and is resting her chin on them staring into Alex’s brown eyes.. _

****

_ “Well I assumed you knew.” Lena scoffs, “Hey I was a rockstar, that’s expected of me.” Lena rolls her eyes. “You’re a rich businesswoman/brilliant scientist, it’s more surprising; especially, considering your family.” _

****

_ “Yes well Mother wasn’t thrilled.”  _

****

_ Alex snorts, “I feel like that’s understating it.” Lena’s eyebrows quirk in amusement. She starts to trace the tattoo below Alex’s breasts. Goosebumps appear in her wake, and she soothes them with kisses. _

****

_ “Will you tell me about them?” Alex nods, and attempts to clear the fog from her brain. Lena is still tracing the tattoo just below and in between her breasts and it’s a bit distracting.  _

****

_ “The tattoo in between was supposed to be a matching tattoo with Kara. I was 18 and drunk when I got it. I didn’t really think about the fact that Kara wouldn't’ be able to get a tattoo, since her skin can’t even be pierced by bullets.” Alex laughs embarrassed, and Lena just smiles softly at her.  _

****

_ “It’s the symbol for Rao,” Alex continues, “Krypton’s sun and god. I wanted a way for Kara and I to share a piece of her home world. She still wears the necklace I got her with the same symbol.” Alex smiles at the memory of giving Kara her necklace. It was the only time Alex has ever gotten seriously bruised from a hug. She had to ice her ribs everyday for 2 weeks, but it was so worth it. _

****

_ “It has a very long chain, so it lands about the same place. I wanted us to match I guess, even if she couldn’t get the tattoo.” Alex shrugs a bit self-consciously. Lena leans down to tenderly kiss the tattoo and smiles softly at Alex. _

****

_ “I think it’s really sweet Alex. And if you want I could look to see if there was a way to be able to tattoo Kara.” Alex brightened with a big smile. _

****

_ “You Lena Luthor are the most brilliant, caring woman I’ve ever met.” Alex pulls Lena up to kiss her, not letting Lena rebuff her compliment, like she knew she would. _

****

\-----

****

“Oh stop teasing them Kash.” John admonishes, but he has a slight smirk tugging on his lips.

****

“Must you spoil my fun?” Kash asks dramatically, making John roll his eyes and the two women laugh.

****

Alex wastes no time grabbing a plate and starting to load it up with Kara sized portions. Lena just watches on in amusement, and gets a look from Kash.

****

“You should see her sister.” Lena snickers when Alex turns around with a piece of bacon sticking out of her mouth. Which reminds her.

****

“Oh you have to see this picture I took last night.” Lena whips out her phone, while Alex chokes and nearly spits out her bacon. Kash and John bust into hysterics. 

****

“No… I… that’s not… That’s not what I meant!” Lena is holding her phone out with a pout. Kash and John risk looking at the photo, and are happy Alex is fully clothed in the photo. Alex has her mouth full with food like a chipmunk, and Kash laughs heartily.

****

“Oh send that to me!” Kash says, and John seconds it. Now it’s Alex’s turn to pout. Lena just kisses her cheek, and puts another pancake on her plate with a smile. Alex looks at her with adoration, although in all honesty she may have been looking at the pancake.

****

“You want me to bring the syrup out for you?” Lena asks, while she see’s Alex struggling with her now two plates of food.

****

“You’re the best.” Alex gives her a quick kiss and works her way towards the porch.

****

“You two are so cute.” Kash says dreamily, then smacks John lightly on his arm, “Why don’t you do things like that for me?” John just sighs dramatically, while Lena and Alex laugh. 

****

The two women make their way outside with their food, and Alex’s syrup, while the men fix themselves plates. Alex can’t help the moan that comes out of her on the first bite of pancake. Her eyes are closed, savoring the flavor. When she opens them she sees Lena looking at her with dark and hazy eyes. Her fork never made it to her mouth, hovering above her plate. 

****

Alex is feeling a bit cocky, and takes another bite of pancake. This time she lets out a throatier moan, making Lena swallow harshly. She’s about to do it again when she hears Kash yell out the door.

****

“That moan better be from my delicious food, and not from something else!” Alex and Lena both jolt, causing Lena to drop her fork on her plate, and Alex to clear her throat with a blush.

****

“Mmmhmmm…” Kash eyes them both. “That’s what I thought.” The men set their plates down, and settle in, but before Lena or Alex or even John can change the topic, Kash keeps talking. “So what’s it like to sleep with a rockstar?”

****

Well there goes the orange juice.

****

\-----

****

**_Later last night_ **

****

_ “Oh my god.” Lena gasps out, her legs still trembling. She’s laying with her head off the side of the bed, one leg across Alex’s torso, and the other by Alex’s head. She shifts her body up, so her head is on the bed looking at Alex, who is nestled on pillows at the head of the bed. She’s tracing her hand along Lena’s legs, and chuckles when Lena follows up with, “New favorite position.”  _

****

_ “Noted.” Alex continues her ministrations along Lena’s calves. Not attempting to work her up again, just wanting to feel her skin under her fingers. Lena basks in the comforting touch for a few minutes. Her own hand lightly caressing Alex’s stomach. Lena finally pulls her leg off of Alex and turns herself around kissing Alex’s stomach. Alex hums in pleasure, and lightly runs her fingers through Lena’s hair, scratching at her scalp. _

****

_ “Does this one have a story too?” Lena kisses along Alex’s hip bone, tracing the lines of the tattoo with her tongue.  _

****

_ “Y-yes…” Alex gasps out, clearly affected by Lena’s tracing. Alex doesn’t continue, so Lena nips her hip bone in retaliation and sucks a bruise on her abs. She gets a yelp and a glare from Alex, which quickly turns into a gasp when Lena licks a broad swipe on Alex’s center. _

****

_ “It was a temporary tattoo…” Alex’s breath is starting to come out heavier. Lena is softly licking at Alex’s center. Alex doesn’t continue, so Lena stops. She can hear Alex whine above her, but she continues her story. _

****

_ “... temporary tattoo for… for… Twin Skeletons music video.” Lena stops again, and Alex lets out a petulant whine. It’s honestly something Lena never thought she’d hear from the other woman, but somehow it comes off endearing.  _

****

_ “Oh I remember that video. You looked hot.” Alex chuckles. _

****

_ “Thanks… anyways. It was my first music video, so I wanted something to re - re-remember it by.” Lena had begun licking Alex again with more vigor, wanting to see if the woman can make it through her entire story before she cums. “It… it was… it was done…” Lena is stopping and starting keeping Alex on the edge. “...done on… the… set!” The last word is shouted out as Alex finally tips over the edge. _

****

_ “Fucking Hell.” Alex gasps out as she comes down, making Lena laugh. “I feel like we’ve gone from zero to sixty, and for your first time you’re holding up better than me.” Alex laughs out. _

****

_ “Well… I am younger.” Alex smacks her shoulder and Lena giggles nuzzling into Alex. _

****

\-----

****

Alex is groaning from the pain of accidentality snorting her orange juice. Lena has a look of shock on her face, and John just looks confused.

****

“What?” It’s John who asks the question. Kash looks smug, but holds up a finger.

****

“Alex darling, stop dying so I can do something.” Alex is wiggling her nose, attempting to get the last of the orange juice out, when Kash grabs her arm to pull her up. Alex is wearing a pair of sweats and a black tank top, which Kash pulls up to show off Alex’s stomach and tattoo.

****

“Hey!” Alex complains, but if Lena’s lip bite is any indication she isn’t complaining. 

****

“Oooooo.” John nods his head with understanding. Kash lets go of Alex’s shirt and attempts to slick back her unruly hair. He only gets so far before Alex bats his hands away.

****

“You could just ask me to do things you know!” Alex grumbles, and slicks her hair back.

****

“What’s the fun in that?!” Kash grins. He covers Alex’s eyes with his hand and turns back to John, who is nodding his head emphatically. Alex is just lifting her arms in the air in a wtf motion, and Lena finally breaks out laughing. Kash sits down next to John, both snickering, and Lena pulls Alex back down into her lap.

****

“So you figured it out. How?” Lena asks with an eyebrow raise, Alex tucked into her arms. Her hair back to disheveled from where she had attempted to slick it back.

****

“Please baby.” Kash waves his hand at them like the question is stupid. “I’d know that tattoo  _ anywhere _ . I’ve seen that music video a thousand times.”

****

“It is a great video.” Lena smirks, when Alex just rolls her eyes. 

****

“I’ve become Kara.” Alex grumbles out. Lena laughs, while Kash and John just look confused. 

****

“Don’t worry about it.” Lena waves them off.

****

“So… you didn’t answer my question.” Kash can’t help but push, and John smacks him when both women blush for what feels like the millionth time today.

****

“Don’t answer that.” John tells them.

****

“Oh believe me,” Lena deadpans, “I wasn’t going to.”

****

“Well fine. Ruin my fun.” Kash mockingly whips his non-existent hair back. “So Lena, how did you manage to stumble upon American Psycho after all of these years?”

****

Lena looks to Alex for reassurance, and when she receives a nod starts to tell them the story of how they met. Well the story minus Supergirl and Secret Government Agencies. The entire thing takes about 10 minutes to tell and at the end Kash is waving his hands in the air for a time out.

****

“Wait… wait… Darling.” He looks pointedly at Lena. “You were her number one crazy fan…”

****

“Not crazy.” Lena mumbles, but Kash just pushes on.

****

“And you didn’t recognize her!? How is that possible?”

****

“Well unlike you I didn’t get a chance to see her amazing abs and tattoos until last night.” Alex blushes at that and Kash guffaws. “And besides she doesn’t exactly come off as a badass rockstar.”

****

“Hey!” Alex complains, but Lena just kisses her cheek in apology.

****

“Sorry Darling, but you are one of the sweetest, kindest, most giving person I’ve ever met. That doesn’t exactly scream badass rockstar.” Alex can’t help the small smile that graces her face, listening to Lena describe her. 

****

“But I’m still a badass agent.”

****

“Yes you are. You’re my badass agent.” Lena kisses Alex softly. 

****

“Awww.” Kash and John are both looking at them with hearts in their eyes. The two women seperate with a small chuckle and everyone gets back to eating their food. They talk about everything and nothing, and by the time they are finishing up their food Kash and John have silently agreed that they really like Alex. More importantly they like who Lena is around her. 

****

“Lena…” John says in a serious voice getting the attention of both women, who had been laughing over something Kara had done recently.

****

“I just wanted to say…” John’s voice had become huskier with emotion clouding it, so he clears it before continuing. 

****

“I’m so proud of you. The love you have with Alex, opening your heart to her and showing the world…” The older man has tears in his eyes, and a quick glance to Lena shows she’s not faring much better. 

****

“I’ve never been more proud than watching you be your truest self.” He reaches out for Lena’s hand, who wastes no time grasping it with all of her strength, attempting to hold back her tears. Although try as she might, it’s not enough to stop a few tears from spilling over. 

****

While they are having their moment, Alex watches on with her hand resting on Lena’s back in comfort. She doesn’t want to interrupt, but she wants Lena to know she’s still there. She glances up to see Kash watching her intently. Seeing the man be serious is somewhat unnerving, but Alex leaves her features as open as she can. Eventually she receives a head nod, which she takes as approval, and lets out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

****

“Okay!” Kash claps his large hands together. “Enough of this emotional stuff you too! Let’s hit the beach!”

****

***

****

Lena’s gorgeous beach house came with an equally gorgeous private beach, but that isn’t where the four of them find themselves. Instead they are about a mile down the beach at a somewhat secluded pier. There’s a family of four playing in the sand, a young couple tanning on some beach towels, and about six surfers standing with their boards. The four, dressed in swimsuits and coverups, find a place to throw their beach towels, umbrella, and coolers. Lena finds herself feeling reminiscent of their first date. She watches Alex throw the blanket down and organize the beach towels. When she stands up and smiles at Lena, she feels like her heart is melting.

****

“What?” Alex has a soft smile on her face, her head tilted in question.

****

“It’s nothing... I was just reminded of our first date.” Lena says and pulls Alex into her arms, kissing her softly. Alex hums into the kiss, and places a soft kiss on her cheek when she pulls back. 

****

“It was a great night. You always look great, but you looked especially great in the light of the lanterns.”

****

“You two are like a romance novel come to life.” Kash says without even looking up from where he is rubbing suntan lotion on John’s back. 

****

“You have no idea.” It’s Alex who says it, and she honestly surprises herself with it.

****

“Oooo, sassy, I like it!” Kash swats at Alex, who swats him back.They swat back in forth until they bust out laughing. Alex strips off her tank top with little fanfare, choosing to leave her shorts on at this point, and settles on her stomach in the sun next to Lena. Lena, who had been enjoying the view from the shade of an umbrella, reaches over to help Alex put lotion on her back. She works the lotion into her shoulders and Alex has to try her hardest to stifle a moan. Lena works her way down Alex’s back and under the tie of her simple black bikini. 

****

Once she reaches the bottom of  Alex’s back, Lena slowly goes back up and uties the string of Alex’s bikini. Alex manages not to startle, but she does raise a questioning eyebrow in Lena’s direction.

****

“I don’t want you to get a tan line.” Lena says lowly while tracing the muscles of Alex’s back. Alex just hums with an all knowing smirk. Lena runs her fingers over her, and traces the few scars she finds there, as well as the tattoo that runs along Alex’s spine in the middle of her upper back. 

****

\-----

****

**_Even Later the Night Before_ **

****

_ Lena and Alex were laying in a heap together on the bed. They just got done with round three, or maybe it was four, and haven’t been able to move from the positions they collapsed in. Lena was on her stomach underneath Alex, who had collapsed on top of her. Her hands were still trapped between the bed and Lena, and she’s breathing heavily against Lena’s shoulder blade. _

****

_ “I didn’t know that position was possible without penetration.” Lena mumbles into the pillow she had just been clutching with all her strength 10 minutes earlier. Alex chuckles against her, and starts to leave kisses on her shoulder.  _

****

_ “You know you never did tell me about your tattoo.” Alex kisses it softly. Lena shifts slightly allowing Alex to move her hands away from her center and her breast. She accidentally brushes her clit, and Lena hisses at the contact. She’s still over sensitive, and Alex mumbles an apology on her skin. Lena doesn’t shift to push Alex off of her, if anything she enjoys the feeling of the other woman’s weight on top of her. _

****

_ “I’m not sure I ever told you, but I’m Irish by birth.” Alex stops kissing her shoulder in her surprise. _

****

_ “Really?”  _

****

_ “Yes, my… my mum was Irish. When she... passed I was adopted by the Luthors, and brought to America. Lillian spent hours training my accent out of me. She was never entirely successful, thankfully.” _

****

_ “How do you train an accent out of someone?” Alex asked in confusion. She had still been tracing the tattoo with her lips, but stops when she feels Lena stiffen beneath her. _

****

_ “Well Lillian used to make me say sentences for hours until I sounded like a real Luthor.” You can hear the bitterness in her tone, laced with an undertone of sadness. “When that didn’t work fast enough, she… uh… she.” Alex can feel the tension building in all of Lena’s muscles, and moves off to settle beside her, attempting to catch Lena’s eyes. She can see her jaw clenching, and when she finally finds green eyes they have a watery sheen to them. _

****

_ “Hey,” Alex soothes, her hand stroking Lena’s cheek, “baby, it’s ok. She can’t hurt you anymore.” Alex pulls Lena into her arms, and wraps them tightly around the younger woman. In her arms, Lena feels like a coil about ready to snap, but Alex just holds on tight.  _

****

_ “You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to, but I promise I will never let her hurt you again.” Alex can feel Lena settle into her arms, breathing out the tension in her body. They lay like that for a few moments before Lena speaks quietly; the words said against Alex’s skin; a safe place. _

****

_ “If I didn’t get it fast enough Lillian used to hit me with a belt. Said that’s how they taught kids in her day.” Alex squeezes Lena tighter, silently seething. “She never did it where anyone would see, and never if Lionel was home. It never worked to help me learn faster,” Lena laughs humorlessly, “but she did manage to make me study harder, sometimes all night, just trying to be better.” _

****

_ Alex has never hated someone so much in her life. She has started mentally collecting ways to cause Lillian unbelievable amounts of pain the next time she sees her. Starting with a good pistol whip to the face. Alex is broken out of her fantasies of torture when Lena speaks up again. _

****

_ “I couldn’t master the th sound. It still slips sometimes. I tried for weeks, and every time... when I couldn’t do it…” The rest was left unsaid, but it didn’t stop Alex from seething even more.  _

****

_ “She only broke the skin once, and after that she never hit me again. It wasn’t for me though, she just didn’t want the evidence to exist.” Alex traces the tattoo and the scar that runs through it. Lena is still nestled in her arms, with her head tucked under Alex’s chin. _

****

_ “One scar can be explained away, but two or more.” Lena doesn’t say anymore, and Alex holds her impossibly closer vowing to never let Lena be hurt like that ever again. Nothing would stop her from protecting the woman in her arms. _

****

\-----

****

It’s an hour later when Alex finally nudges Lena to get her attention. She had been engrossed in a new book she honest to god startled when Alex nudged her. Alex presses her lips together to keep from chuckling, and motions to her back. She needs Lena to retie her suit top, so she can flip over. Once flipped over she looks out over the waves, and watches the surfers with a look of nostalgia on her face.

****

“What’s wrong darling?” Alex hadn’t realized that Lena was watching her. 

****

“It’s nothing.” Alex shakes herself out of it, and sends a smile towards Lena. It doesn’t reassure the other woman, and Lena levels her with an eyebrow raise, making Alex sigh in defeat.

****

“I used to surf… with my dad when I was younger.”

****

“A surfer, a rockstar, and an FBI agent. Damn girl what can’t you do.” Apparently Kash had woken up and was now eavesdropping. The two woman just ignored him.

****

“Do you miss it?” Lena asks softly, stroking Alex’s arm. She looks out at the surfers with a sigh, and it’s all the answer Lena needs. Lena doesn’t even let Alex answer back before she is on her feet striding towards the surfers. Her long flowing white cover up fluttering in the wind behind her. Alex is mesmerized by the image for a few moments before she shakes herself out of it with a tilt of questioning to her head.

****

Lena strides right over to a small group of surfers. Alex can see her talking to them, and pointing behind her, most likely indicating them. She sees her hand one of them something, she can’t tell what it is from this far away, but he looks really happy. And all too soon Lena is walking back over to Alex, a blue and black surfboard under her arm, and a smile on her face.

****

“Here you go darling, go nuts.” Lena says, setting the board down next to Alex, who’s speechless. John and Kash share a knowing look. They are used to Lena’s outrageous generosity and gift giving. She bought John a new car once when he mentioned his chevy cruze making a funny sound. Turns out there was just a loose bolt rattling under the hood, but Lena told him to keep the car, a brand new Maserati Ghibli, just in case. 

****

“Did you… just buy me a surfboard?” Lena nodded with a smile.

****

“Of course. We’ll keep it here, and you can come surf whenever you want.”

****

“Lena this is a HaydenShapes - Hypto - Krypto! These are like $900! That is way too much.” Alex tries to push back, but Lena just waves her hand around.

****

“Nonsense. I got a good deal for it.” Lena says with an innocent look on her face, making Alex narrow her eyes.

****

“How much?”

****

“... $3,000.” Lena mumbles out, and Alex’s mouth hangs open in shock.

****

“Lena!”

****

“Your happiness is priceless.” Lena smiles lovingly, and she can hear Kash awww behind her.

****

“Fine, I’ll play with the surfboard, but I’m not happy about it.” Alex says, but the smile on her face proves her words to be lies. She’s jumped up, whipped off her shorts, attached the ankle strap on, and is running towards the water before Lena even knows what happened. She’s just left there under the umbrella, holding Alex’s shorts that nearly hit her in the face.

****

Alex wastes zero time in swimming out under the pier. She makes her way to some of the other surfers, and Lena can see her high fiving them. She chuckles and folds Alex’s pants, setting them down on her towel. She’s content just to watch her girlfriend surf. It takes Alex a couple times to regain her footing, but once she’s up, it’s truly a thing of beauty. Lena is so sucked in to watching Alex, that she doesn’t hear Kash sit down next to her on Alex’s vacaded towel. 

****

“You really are smitten aren’t you?” Lena nods with a smile on her face.

****

“She makes every moment better, you know?” Kash looks over at John, who smiles back at him.

****

“Yeah I know. I’m so happy for you Lena.” 

****

Lena startles when she sees Alex take a hard dive into the water, but relaxes when she pops up a second later with a smile on her face. She waves at Lena with such joy on her face, and Lena waves back.

****

“Thank you Kash.” Lena leans her head on the larger man’s shoulder, both content to watch Alex out in the water. About an hour later Alex finally leaves the water, walking back over to them. Her breathing quite heavy. She sets the board down before ungracefully flopping on her towel. At this point Kash and John have gone into the water, leaving the two women alone. 

****

“Did you have fun?” Lena asks with a chuckle. Alex looks up at her with an unreadable expression on her face, and before Lena knows what’s going on she’s being pulled into an earth shattering kiss. One that is certain to leave her bruised and aching, in more ways than one. Alex pushes Lena down on the blanket, slotting a leg between hers. Lena can feel Alex’s dripping body on hers, and struggles to contain the moan that wants to come out. Luckily, it’s later in the day and most everyone, including the family from before, has already left the beach. Alex pulls back a few seconds later, and looks down at Lena. She can see the mark she left on Lena’s kiss swollen lips. She leans down again for a much more chaste kiss this time.

****

“Thank you for the surfboard.” She whispers against Lena’s lips.

****

“You’re welcome darling, but you’re making me wet.” Lena’s eyes widen when she realizes what that sounded like. She stumbles to fix her mistake, but Alex just busts out laughing.

****

“You’re cute.” Alex says while lifting herself off of Lena, whose face is bright red. Kash and John make their way back to their little bundle. The sun has started to go down, and the air has a chill to it that wasn’t there before.

****

“Shall we pack up, and head back?” It’s John that suggests it, and the others waste no time in complying. The walk back up is mostly silent. Each couple holding hands and enjoying being with each other. They start putting stuff away in the garage, and Lena finds a new spot for Alex’s surfboard, promising she’ll have a stand made for it. Alex just shakes her head in exasperation, but doesn’t comment.

****

“So what do you two think of getting cleaned up, and heading into town for a drink?” Kash asks, looking expectantly at the two women. They both agree easily, and they all make their way inside to get showered and dressed.

****

***

****

The main town isn’t very large, yet there are about 11 bars just in eyesight alone, and about 20 percent seem to be gay bars. Alex is guessing that Lena had no idea how gay friendly this little coastal town was when she bought the property. Alex is just glad to be somewhere with Lena where she won’t risk feeling uncomfortable. She looks at the woman next to her and can’t help thinking she’s the most gorgeous woman she’s ever seen. She’s got on the same jeans she wore on their first date, with a flowy, long sleeve, white blouse, and has it tucked in the front. Alex feels almost underdressed wearing black ripped jeans and a flannel sweater. Alex nearly trips over her own feet while she’s distracted looking at Lena, who gives her a knowing smirk. 

****

John and Kash lead the way towards one of the gay bars. This one is called Beach Babes, and there’s a big chalkboard sign on the sidewalk advertising live music. They make their way past the bouncer, who is even larger than Kash and that’s saying something, and over to a booth towards the middle back. It’s slightly raised up, and gives them a great view of the stage, as well as all of the exits. Ok, so Alex is the only one to notice the second part of that, but her training is ingrained at this point. They all order drinks, just as someone walks up on the stage.

****

“So we are going to do things a little differently tonight. I know we advertised live music, but unfortunately our band is out sick.” There’s some whines and groans coming from the audience. Apparently whoever the band was, they are quite popular around here. “So we are changing things up, and doing an open mic night. There’s instruments here anyone can use. Now is the time to show that hidden talent.” 

****

Alex felt bad for the guy, he was trying so hard to get everyone pumped, but it wasn’t really working out for him. Luckily, someone started blasting rock music through the speakers, and everyone on the floor started to dance. Their drinks came shortly after, and they all started having a great time. Alex was leaned into Lena, their ankles intertwined under the table. Word must have gotten around about the open mic night, because pretty soon after there were people lined up to perform.

****

One girl caught Alex’s eye. She was young, probably 21 or 22. She looked nervous. Not to say that the others didn’t look nervous, but she looked really nervous. And she was next. 

****

“Uh… um... hi-hi.” She stuttered, adjusting the mic and nearly knocking it over. She picked up the guitar and put the strap on. “My name is Nia Nal. I’m going to be doing a cover of a song by my all time favorite singer.” She cleared her throat and started strumming the first few notes. Alex knew the song instantly, it was one of hers. Lena looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, and a glance to John and Kash saw them looking intently at her too. Alex couldn’t take her eyes off the girl on stage. She started out a little rough, but you could feel the emotion in her voice as she sang, and what a great voice it was.

****

**“Sometimes I sit in the smoking section**

**Hopin' one rogue spark will land in my direction**

**And when you stomp me out, I scream and I'll shout**

**Let it happen, let it happen, let it happen**

****

**And sometimes I feel like an inland ocean**

**Too big to be a lake, too small to be an attraction**

**And when you wander in and start to flail a bit**

**I let it happen, let it happen, let it happen”**

****

The place was silent, except for the girl on stage. Everyone was mesmerized by her. For the nervous wreck she had been at the beginning, she had a presence about her.

****

**“And then I think**

**What could be better than love, than love, than love?**

**And then I think**

**What could be better than love, than love, than love?**

****

**It's not the end, it's not the end**

**It's not the end, it's not the end**

**It's not the end, it's not the end**

**It's not the end, it's not the end**

**It's not the end, it's not the end**

**It's not the end, it's not the end”**

****

The last notes rang out in the space, and the girl looked up into the audience with a surprised look on her face. Almost as if she forgot there was an audience. Everyone clapped and cheered, making the young girl blush red.

****

“Well that was something,” Lena says when the music starts back up. They are apparently taking a break from mic night, and just blasting some top 40s rock. 

****

“It really was.” Alex says as she watches the girl walk back over to her friends, and what seems to be a boyfriend.

****

“You should go talk to her.” Lena nudges, and Alex can’t help the scoff that comes out.

****

“And say what exactly. ‘Hey you know that song you just sang, well it's mine.’ She’d never believe me anyways.” Lena just shrugs and orders them all more drinks. They night continues just like that, until the man who had spoken before gets up one more time.

****

“Anyone else who wants to sing, now is your chance!” The crowd has thinned out some, but not much. Alex looks over at Lena, who is nestled against Kash, and makes a decision mostly fueled by alcohol, but also by love. She gets up, and makes her way towards the stage. 

****

The man sees her coming, and waves her to go directly on stage. The moment between standing on the floor and stepping on stage is one of the longest moments of Alex’s entire life. Every moment of being AP seems to flash before her. The highs; being signed, selling her first album, winning her first grammy. The lows; the alcohol, Maggie cheating on her, forgetting her family, jail. It all flashes before her. She isn’t sure she can get on the stage, even with the liquid courage running through her. She glances back behind her and sees Lena’s soft smile, her nod of encouragement. All of a sudden she feels like she can do anything in the world, as long as she has that woman behind her.

****

She finally steps on stage, and starts to adjust her mic. She throws on a guitar, and strums it a few times, tweaking it as she goes. 

****

“I’m Alex, and I wanted to play a song for my girlfriend. She means the world to me, and yeah. Oh! And this is a cover, which will be obvious when I play it.” Alex mumbles out the last few words. She starts to strum the intro, slower than the original. Playing seems to come back to her like second nature.

****

**Oh, my life**

**Is changing every day**

**In every possible way**

****

**And oh, my dreams**

**It's never quite as it seems**

**Never quite as it seems**

****

**I know I've felt like this before**

**But now I'm feeling it even more**

**Because it came from you**

****

\-----

**_Even Later the Night Before, Which is Now Early Morning_ **

_ “The only memory I have of my mum is her singing to me.” Lena is laying with her back against Alex’s chest. They are wrapped in each other under the covers, content in each other’s arms. _

_ “Did she sing you Irish Lullabies?” Alex asks, curious about the woman in her arms. She can feel Lena chuckle in her arms. _

_ “Hardly. She loved The Cranberries. She would sing me their songs when she put me to bed.” Lena’s quiet lost in the memory, and Alex is content to let her mind wander. Alex can hear Lena singing, the low timbre of her voice vibrating against her. _

****

**_I know I’ve felt like this before_ **

**_But now I’m feeling it even more_ **

**_Because it came from you_ **

****

_ Alex squeezes her tighter wishing she could take all of her pain away.  _

****

\-----

Alex looks out into the audience, and everyone seems to be either nodding along to the song, singing to themselves, or looking at her with thinly veiled lust. Alex seeks out the green eyes she wants, and they soon lock with her own brown ones. Lena has tears streaming down her face, but gives her a watery smile, letting her know she’s ok.

****

**Then I open up and see**

**The person falling here is me**

**A different way to be**

****

**I want more**

**Impossible to ignore**

**Impossible to ignore**

****

**They'll come true**

**Impossible not to do**

**Impossible not to do**

****

**Now I tell you openly**

**You have my heart so don't hurt me**

**You're what I couldn't find**

****

**Totally amazing mind**

**So understanding and so kind**

**You're everything to me**

****

**Oh, my life**

**Is changing every day**

**In every possible way**

****

**And oh, my dreams**

**It's never quite as it seems**

**'Cause you're a dream to me**

**Dream to me**

****

The last notes are strummed quietly, and the audience starts to whoop and holler. Alex quickly strips off the guitar, and makes her way off the stage. As soon as she touches down on the floor, she is engulfed in a crushing kiss. She can hear the audience cheering around them, but to Alex and Lena they seem far away. They are the only two people here in this moment. They pull back, while Alex wipes the tears still streaming down Lena’s face. She looks into her green eyes intensely, working up the courage to say what she has been dying to say.

****

“I love you.” It’s said loud enough for Lena to hear, but no one else. Lena smiles brightly and pulls Alex into a kiss. They get lost in it for several minutes, and when they pull back their foreheads are touching; their eyes still closed.

****

“You know I love you too right?” Lena says, her breath floating across Alex’s lips.

****

“I do now.” Alex says with a chuckle, and Lena laughs opening her eyes. 

****

“I love you Alex Danvers.”

****

“I love you Lena Luthor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?? Aren't Alex and Lena the cutest?? I will say too, that isn't how I planned for Alex to sing to Lena for the first time, but it just sort of happened. 
> 
> Songs:  
> Smoking Section - St. Vincent  
> Dreams - Cranberries
> 
> Everyone seems to like the reference photos, so here are the ones for this chapter.  
> https://ltoliviabenson.tumblr.com/post/186368612215/reference-for-chapter-17-of-american-beauty


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff from the end of their trip, a bit of sexiness, and a set up for the angst train. Also I was a tad liberal with the ages in this fic, so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for how long this took. I've gotten pretty busy at work and applying for grad school. I hope you all like this chapter!

It was the last day of their weekend stay, and they had to leave early afternoon to make sure they got back before it was too late into the night. Neither women were particularly motivated though, both were still lounging in bed against each other. Alex with her head on Lena’s chest, and Lena stroking through the shaved part of her hair. The two of them were up most of the night. Saying I love you somehow brought them closer together and the two of them spent all night saying it over and over again until they couldn’t move anymore.

****

“You know I love your hair.” Lena muses randomly, Alex peers up at her with an eyebrow raise.

****

“Yeah?” Lena hums an affirmative.

****

“I love how the shaved part feels under my fingers.” Lena punctuates that statement by scratching at it with her nails, making Alex practically pur. She snuggles back into Lena’s chest, content to stay there all day.

****

“You know if we don’t get up soon we’ll miss Kash’s world famous french toast he promised us.” Lena says quietly and can feel Alex hum into her chest. Alex kisses the skin below her lips, not leading anywhere, but wanting to taste her just the same. Lena continues to scrape soothingly along Alex’s scalp, and pulls her up for a small kiss. 

****

“Come on darling.” Lena nudges after breaking the kiss, making Alex exaggeratedly groan. She gets up, the sheet falling off of her, and stretches popping the bones in her spine. She looks back at Lena who is biting her lip and staring decidedly not at Alex’s face. When Lena finally looks up, Alex has a smirk on hers making Lena’s face flush.

****

“See something you like?” Alex says giving her a cocky wink making Lena roll her eyes but shoot her a smile of adoration. They both get dressed, pulling on whatever’s closest. Lena ends up in a pair of dark jeans and Alex’s soft, white long-sleeved henley that she’s now claimed as her own, while Alex pulls on her black shorts and black tank top, throwing a flannel over top.

****

They make their way downstairs following the sweet smell of french toast all the way to the kitchen where Kash has just flipped the last piece onto a plate piled high.

****

“Hey guys, I would say good morning, but it’s closer to noon so…” Kash teases and gets smacked by a towel. Surprising everyone it’s actually Alex who hits him with the towel, landing a loud crack on his back. Kash grabs one, snapping it back and soon enough the two of them are chasing each other around the room snapping towels at each other. John isn’t even phased slowly setting the table with their french toast, while Alex attempts to hide behind Lena. 

****

“Alex! Don’t use me as a shield!” Lena squeals when she’s lifted into the air to be used as a moving shield. Alex’s arms flexing as she carries Lena around. That is until she trips and the two of them fall laughing into the soft rug beneath their feet. Kash continues to smack at them with a towel, Lena now using Alex as a shield, until John’s voice interrupts them.

****

“Ok children,” John’s voice is loud and admonishing, but the smile on his face gives it away. “Food is getting cold, let’s go.”

****

Alex springs up, practically running to the table before she remembers she left Lena still on the floor. She goes back for her and sees Lena just sitting there with one eyebrow raised. Alex gives her a sheepish smile and rubs the back of her neck.

****

“Sorry, food focus is a Danvers family trait.” Alex puts a hand out and pulls Lena to her feet. Lena leans in closer to give her a kiss on the cheek, but pushes Alex down laughing instead as she runs to the table. Alex looks stunned for a moment before chuckling foundly, and rolling to her feet, following Lena into the kitchen.

****

***

****

They hit the road almost on time, making their way back to National City in companionable silence. Eighties rock playing softly in the background. Lena’s driving this time, one hand resting on the wheel the other resting on Alex’s thigh. A warm comforting presence as Alex looks out the window lost in her thoughts. The trip has been one of the best she can remember, Alex wishing they could have stayed there forever. She definitely knows they are going to come back, maybe even bring Kara for Kash to feed. They were in their own little bubble, and it felt amazing to just be there with her. All of the other pressures of their lives in National City had just melted away. 

****

The feeling of singing once again though; without those pressures, without those expectations. Just singing for the love of her life, like no one else was there, it’s all she didn’t know she wanted. Even playing stadiums full of people; screaming fans deafening the space. All of it didn’t compare to the way Lena looked at her while she was singing. The way she felt in her arms after she stepped off stage. The love she felt in that kiss, those eyes, the moments when the world just melted away and there was just the two of them.

****

“Penny for your thoughts darling?” Lena says softly interrupting the silence. She gives Alex’s leg a small squeeze. Alex hums trying to put her thoughts in order, Lena waiting patiently.

****

“I was thinking about that girl last night.” Alex says looking over when Lena chuckles.

****

“Should I be worried?” She asks with an eyebrow raise. She’s struggling to keep the smirk off her face, the edge of her lips twitching.

****

“Oh ha ha.” Alex shakes her head with a small smile. Lena gives her leg another squeeze before taking her hand, interlacing their fingers, and planting a kiss on the back of her hand. “As adorable as she was, she seems waaaaay too young for me.”

****

“Please, she was probably like 24.” Lena says with a laugh. She squints at Alex in confusion.

****

“See, way too young!” Alex throws her hands in the air in a dramatic over exaggeration. “I was always more comfortable dating people within like... two years of my own age anyways. Same generation I guess. I don’t know.” Alex shrugs and Lena looks at her confused for a moment before a snort and a full bubble laugh erupts out of her. 

****

“What?” Alex looks on in confused amusement, not understanding what’s so funny.

****

Lena wipes the tears that had begun to stream down her face in hysterical laughter.

****

“You don’t know how old I am do you?” Lena laughs again at the deer in the headlights look on Alex’s face.

****

“Ye-ee- yes I do.” Alex stutters out trying to think back to all of their long talks. “You are around… twenty…” Alex is biting her lips doing the math in her head of everything she knows about Lena; her childhood, her degrees and accomplishments. “Nine. You’re twenty-nine!” Alex sounds so confident in that number that it makes Lena smile and tilt her head adoringly.

****

“And how did you come up with that number exactly?”

****

“Um… well. I took in your years of schooling, your degrees and accomplishments.” Alex feels more nervous here than at her dissertation for her Ph.D. This seems like running through a gauntlet of fire, and Alex is legitimately scared at the eyebrow raise she gets from Lena.

****

“Mmmm. Those are good deduction skills, but you are forgetting something crucial.” Lena says with a smirk. “I skipped a lot of grades during school.” Alex frowns and attempts to think back to if and when Lena told her that.

****

“You never told me that.” Alex is sure of it.

****

“I think I mentioned it during our drunken night with Sam, Lucy, and Vasquez.” Alex blinks and squints her eyes attempting to clear the fog from that night. Shaking her head when she comes up with nothing.

****

“Well, lets just say that night is fairly fuzzy.” Alex laughs out and Lena just shakes her head in exasperation. “So…”

****

“So?”

****

“How old are you?”

****

“Miss Danvers…” Lena gasps dramatically, “You never ask a lady her age.” Alex just rolls her eyes.

****

“Well you can ask me first then.” Alex offers, but Lena guffaws.

****

“You’re 32.” Alex looks startled over at Lena for guessing so closely.

****

“Well you were close but I’m 31.”

****

“No, you’re 32.” 

****

“What?!” Alex doesn’t understand why Lena’s arguing with her about this. She clearly knows her own age, right? No I’m…” Alex looks up at the roof with a squished face trying to think. “Oh my god, I am 32!”

****

Lena guffaws again and starts to laugh hysterically.

****

“You couldn’t remember how old you were.” Lena looks over adoringly after her laughs settle, “You’re cute.” Alex’s face is bright red, embarrassed. 

****

“Yeah, well…” Alex shrugs, looking at the road fly by. They sit in silence for a few more moments before Lena breaks the silence once again.

****

“I’m 25.”

****

“Wait what?”

****

“I’m 25.”

****

“Holy shit!”

****

“Are you saying I look old?” Lena asks with a playful edge, and Alex’s eyes look as huge as saucers in panic. “I’m just teasing dear.” Lena sets her hand on Alex’s giving it a squeeze, before returning her hand to the wheel, pulling off on an exit.

****

“I didn’t… I meant the stuff you’ve accomplished… you’re amazing.” Alex stutters off with a soft blush to her cheeks, Lena has a matching one growing on her own at the look of adoration Alex sends her. She pulls up to a cafe for a bathroom and coffee stop, looking over at Alex.

****

“I love you.” Lena’s voice is dripping with sincerity and Alex can’t help the broad smile that spreads across her face.

****

“I love you too.” Alex leans over to kiss Lena’s cheek. “You know the girl last night, the rawness, the depth and soul in her voice. It hit me like, I can’t even describe. When I left the music world I had none of that. I was washed up.” Lena doesn’t interrupt, just squeezes her hand in comfort, ignoring the wateryness of Alex’s eyes.

****

“And when I sang to you... I-I hadn’t felt that way in an extremely long time. And I think that was because of you.” Alex looks over at Lena, who’s trying to focus on keeping her tears in, but Alex can see the shininess of her eyes. “You brought something back to my life that I never thought I’d have, and I love you for that and for so much more.”

****

Lena can’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, but swipes it away. She unbuckles her seatbelt, jumping out of the car. Alex is completely startled by this change of pace and attempts to follow suit; unbuckling her seatbelt and going for the door. Before she gets there Lena is ripping it open and crawling into her lap. Her lips slot against Alex’s in a bruising kiss. Alex moans into her mouth, grabbing her by her hips and pulling her in tight.

****

“I love you Alex.” Lena mumbles against her lips, kissing between every word. “I love you so much.”

****

Alex continues to nip and kiss Lena’s lips, deepening it when Lena teases her lower lip with her tongue. Alex’s hands have made their way under the shirt Lena is wearing, the soft henley that has been stolen at this point, and she scratches softly along Lena’s spine. A loud whistle and cat call breaks them apart. Their location outside a coffee shop had completely slipped their mind. Lena pulls back abruptly, smacking her head on the roof of the car.

****

Lena groans and rubs the back of her head, pulling herself off Alex’s lap and out of the car. Alex follows, locking it up and bringing Lena to a table to sit down.

****

“Are you ok?” Alex says concerned. She’s running some routine tests in her mind as she watches Lena’s movements. She sticks a finger in the air bringing it closer to Lena’s face as her eyes follow it.

****

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just a bump.”

****

“Are you sure?”

****

“Yes, darling I’m sure.” Lena looks adoringly at Alex when the crinkle of concern is still present in her eyebrow.

****

“I’m going to run to the bathroom, will you order me the usual?” Lena says, standing up and leaving her purse with Alex. Alex just gives her a nod, waving her off with a smile. By the time Lena makes it back, they have their drinks hot and waiting for them. Alex a coffee, black like her soul she always jokes. Sometimes Lena wonders if it really is a joke, or if Alex truly can’t see the bright light that she’s brought to Lena’s life. Lena on the other hand went with green tea.

****

“I don’t get how you can drink that stuff.” Alex says wrinkling her nose adorably, “It’s so bitter.”

****

“Says the woman with black coffee.” Lena snorts and Alex just rolls her eyes, taking a long exaggerated pull of her drink. “The reason you don’t like green tea is because you always burn the leaves. You can’t pour boiling water on green tea leaves. You have to let it cool for a minute or two before adding in the tea. You my dear just don’t have the patience for green tea.”

****

Alex shrugs, not bothering to correct the statement. They spend a bit more time enjoying their time together with their coffee and tea; people watching and holding hands. Lena leaves a tip on the table and they make their way back to the car, Alex running around to Lena’s door to hold it open for her. Lena softly kissing Alex’s cheek in thanks. She runs back around to hop in her side of the car, the two of them jetting off.

****

They manage to make it back to National City before too late in the night. Lena drops Alex off with a promise to call her tomorrow and grab lunch. Alex can’t help but linger near the car with her bags, not quite wanting to leave Lena just yet. After spending all weekend wrapped in her arms, she can’t stand the thought of not having her in her bed tonight. She leans in bracketing Lena against the car, her nose nuzzling against Lena’s. Alex leaves a soft kiss on her cheek, moving closer to her lips capturing them in her own. She breaks the kiss, not bothering to wipe the lipstick from her mouth. 

****

“Goodnight Lena, I love you.” Alex says picking her bags up, looking adoringly at her.

****

“I love you too darling.” Lena says biting her lip. She waits for Alex to make it in the building before she drives off, already missing Alex’s presence.  Alex sighs sadly inside her apartment, not doing any better than Lena.

****

***

****

“Did you know Lena’s 25?” Kara looks up from her pizza slice, or 5 slices, giving Alex a confused look. She looks over to see Lena shaking her head in exasperation. Kara had decided to join them for lunch, claiming she missed her two favorite people.

****

“Um…” Kara swallows her food. “Yeah?” Kara squints at Alex. “Wait did you not know how old your girlfriend was?”

****

“We never talked about it! How was I supposed to know!” Alex is waving her hands dramatically, making Lena chuckle when Kara gives her a look.

****

“It’s ok dear.” Lena pats Alex’s hands gently giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

****

“How did you not know her age, Alex!”

****

“Well how old is Imra?” Alex shoots back, and if the stuttering and widening of Kara’s eyes are any indication she doesn’t know.

****

“Ha!” Alex points a finger at her sister, “hypocrite!” 

****

“Well, she’s… she is… the future… and time moves…” Kara is stuttering and spluttering trying to figure it out, Lena laughing at both sisters antics.

****

“So it seems both Danvers need to work on learning more about their girlfriends.” Lena laughs, both women’s faces red and embarrassed, making Lena laugh even more. Both women stuff their faces with pizza, Lena just shaking her head fondly and clearing her throat. Both women look over at her, their faces stuffed with pizza.

****

“She doesn’t count the time in hypersleep, so she’s 27.” Lena states, taking a sip of her water. Both women blink at her blankly.

****

“She’s a genius.” Lena nearly snorts water out of her nose.

****

***

****

Alex and Lena are spending the evening lounged across Lena’s massive couch, a bowl of popcorn between them. Alex has eaten the majority, and the two of them are talking, completely ignoring the movie wailing in the background.

****

“So what’s your favorite color?” Lena asks Alex before stealing the popcorn bowl away.

****

“It used to be black, but now it’s green.” Lena looks curiously at her.

****

“Why? I’ve never seen you wear green?”

****

“Oh I don’t like it on me, it makes me flushed looking, I just like to… stare into it.” Alex looks intently into her favorite shade of green. The bright colors alight in Lena’s eyes. Lena, catching her meaning, starts to blush.

****

“Sap.” She teases, but can’t help the smile on her face.

****

“Only for you.” Alex nuzzles her nose into the crook of Lena’s neck. Lena shrieks at the tickling sensation, and nearly knocks the bowl of popcorn over. Alex is smart to move it to a safe location, and returns to kissing along Lena’s neck.

****

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Lena stutters out with a soft gasp, when Alex nibbles on her neck. “You can come with me to yoga tomorrow.”

****

“Mmm, or we could do yoga right now.” Lena busts out laughing and pushes Alex back.

****

“What a line darling.” Lena shakes her head adoringly.

****

“Fine yoga tomorrow, sex right now.” Alex states seriously, and Lena hates that it somehow makes her feel hotter.

****

“Well, take me to bed then.” Lena husks. Alex steps off the couch and reaches down for Lena’s hand. She pulls her up and drags her into the bedroom, pushing her down on the bed. 

****

“Are you okay?” Alex checks in, ever the gentlewoman. Lena bites her lip, nodding. Her eyes getting darker watching Alex strip her shirt off. Her abs flex as she works to straddle Lena’s hips. Lena’s hands scratch at them, inching upwards to push her bra off and cup Alex’s breasts. She pulls and tweaks at the nipples, loving to hear Alex gasp and moan above her. 

****

“Lena, don’t stop.” Alex husks out. Lena lifts herself up, her arms wrapping around Alex to unclasp the bra. Her lips attaching themselves to Alex’s chest, nipping and sucking around her supple breasts. She’s teasing Alex, deliberately avoiding her nipples, and Alex is arching into her touch. A whine leaves Alex’s throat, and Lena scratches harshly down her back grabbing onto her hips. Lena rolls over, trapping Alex under her, and sucks a nipple into her mouth. Alex gasps and grabs onto Lena’s hair, holding her in place.

****

“Oh god.”

****

“Can these come off?” Lena husks, pulling on the top of Alex’s joggers. She gets an enthusiastic nod back, and Alex’s hands trying to pull her own pants and underwear down. It makes Lena chuckle and slap her hands away.

****

“Impatient much.”

****

“You’re just so hot I couldn’t wait.” Alex deadpans resting back on her forearms, making Lena laugh hard.

****

“Shut up.” Lena pushes Alex back into the bed, and yanks her pants and underwear down in one move.

****

“Yours too.” Alex begs, wanting nothing more than to feel Lena’s skin against her own. Lena wastes no time ripping off her shorts and soft, flowy top. Lena slots herself on top of Alex, who quickly flips them over, and grinds her leg down into Lena’s center, making the woman buck up into her with a groan. Alex is grinding her own center onto Lena’s hard thigh.

****

“Alex…” Lena pulls her hips back into the covers, ignoring the whining and begging that rips from Alex’s throat.

****

“Alex… I want to … try something.” That grasps all of Alex’s attention, and her eyes darken to the point where Lena can no longer see the deep brown of her irises. Lena bites her lip apprehensively, and Alex sobers up quickly.

****

“Hey baby, whatever it is, you can tell me.” Alex tucks Lena’s hair behind her ear, giving her a smile.

****

“Well, as we talked about before, I’m not a fan of being… penetrated.” Lena whispers the last word embarrassed. Alex squeezes her hand giving her a soft and comforting smile. Lena clears her throat, “Well there’s a position I’ve always wanted to try, but I never thought you could do without penetration… and I just thought we could try, and if you don’t want to that’s fine too. I just wasn’t sure if it would be something you wanted to do… and I…” Lena’s rambling is starting to get out of control, so Alex pulls her in for a soft kiss. 

****

“Hey, baby, hey.” Alex shushes against Lena’s lips, pulling her in and rolling them on their sides. “You can trust me with anything, you know that. I want you to feel comfortable and feel good about what we do together, and whatever I can do to make that happen I will.” Alex gazes adoringly into Lena’s soft green eyes, the other woman leaning forward to kiss her softly. When she pulls back, Lena rests her forehead against Alex’s, breathing deeply.

****

“I want you to take me from behind.” Lena says in one long breath, refusing to meet Alex’s eyes. If she had been looking, she would have seen how they darken once more, the irises no longer showing. Alex swallows harshly at the image that takes over her mind, and surges to crush a kiss onto Lena’s lips. It takes Lena by surprise, but she quickly recovers and pulls Alex in by her hair. 

****

“So is that ok?” Lena asks against Alex’s lips. She can feel the nip Alex delivers, and it sends heat straight to her core.

****

“God yes.” Alex husks, switching to suck on Lena’s neck. Alex’s hands run along the gentle slopes of her body. Scratching along her back, and cupping her ass to grind against her. Lena lets out a moan, quickly swallowed by Alex’s mouth on hers.

****

A nip to her lip and Alex is moving down Lena’s body, that is now spread out beneath her. A quick lick between her breasts, and Alex is biting and sucking on her skin. Lena’s hand slots in Alex’s hair, gripping tightly and attempting to move her where she wants. Alex chuckles, blowing a cool breeze over Lena’s nipple making her arch and buck into Alex’s body above her. 

****

“Please…” Lena whines desperately. Alex taking pity on her, and sucking her nipple into her mouth, biting lightly on the bud. She uses the other hand to rub and pull at the neglected nipple. Lena’s head is thrashing back and forth her hands gripping the sheets beneath her like a lifeline. Alex pulls back looking at the marks left across Lena’s chest with pride. She bends down nuzzling her nose against Lena’s own.

****

“Flip over.” Alex husks a few inches above Lena’s lips, sticking her tongue out to lick lightly at her bottom lip. Lena’s breath stutters out of her, and pulls herself from under Alex, who is watching her intently. Lena bites her bottom lip, and Alex spins her finger in the air, motioning to flip over. Lena feels flushed and nervous, but pushes through it. She flips herself over, resting on her knees and her forearms. She can feel Alex come up behind her, and tenses slightly when Alex’s hands lightly caress her lower back. 

****

“Are you okay? If you change your mind…” Lena looks behind her, looking at Alex’s dark eyes, but sees the concern in them.

****

“I’m sure, but thank you for checking.” Lena says softly, with some excitement in her voice, and Alex nods. Lena can feel Alex move to the side of her, and looks over seeing Alex’s gentle eyes staring back at her. Alex leans forward for a small kiss, and grabs a pillow from the top of the bed. Lena gives her a look of confusion, before Alex kisses it away.

****

“It’s for under your hips. It will support your back.” Alex says placing the pillow under her. Ever the thoughtful girlfriend. Alex slots herself behind Lena, kissing down her spine, nipping and sucking at the skin. Her hands running up and down her sides and outer thighs. She can feel Lena pushing back into her, rolling her hips into the pillow below her. Alex’s hands slide down her sides, her nails running down Lena’s butt making her gasp and buck into nothing.

****

“Please Alex. Please.” Lena begs, “Don’t tease me.”

****

Alex runs her nails up the back of Lena’s thighs as she kisses softly towards Lena’s center. She noses through her folds, licking a broad swipe causing Lena to moan and push back against her. She licks through the folds, and teases around her clit. Swirling around the hardening bud, she flattens her tongue when Lena starts to grind back against her. Allowing Lena to take the lead, she holds her hips and allows Lena to grind against her face and tongue. She can feel Lena’s hips start to stutter and grips her hips tightly sucking her clit into her mouth. A few hard sucks has Lena coming completely undone, her back arching harshly into the bed and her arms giving out on her.

****

She breathes hard into the bed, groaning when Alex kisses up her spine, settling her on top of her. Lena looks behind her kissing her own arousal off of Alex’s face. 

****

“We are definitely doing that again.” Alex says against Lena’s lips, and Lena huskily chuckles against her.

****

“Definitely.”

****

***

****

“Ok, so yoga wasn’t so bad.” Alex says leaving the studio hand and hand with Lena, who shakes her head fondly. 

****

“You’re just saying that because you got to watch me from behind the whole time.” Lena admonishes her.

****

“Well it’s not my fault we were late and couldn’t be side by side.”

****

“Tell that to your tongue this morning.” Lena snorts, and Alex shrugs with a laugh. She leans over to give a kiss to Lena’s cheek. Lena whispers something in her ear, making Alex laugh hysterically. 

****

“Alex?” Her entire body stiffens, and the voice she never thought she’d hear again sends all the blood from her body. She turns around, gripping Lena’s hand tightly within hers. The person in front of her sending a small smile her way.

****

“Maggie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?? And the angst train is coming, I'm sorry to say. Don't worry happy endings will happen. I will try to be better about posting new chapters. And I've been working on my smut on a one shot series, but it will not get in the way of this story. Don't worry.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Angst train has started... where or where will it end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone still reading this! I love you all, and don't worry this will have a happy ending.
> 
> TW: mentions of alcohol abuse

“What.” Alex clears her throat attempting to dislodge the rock that seems to have grown there. “What are you doing here?”

****

“Well you know how much I love yoga.” Maggie attempts to joke with a smile, that at one point caused Alex’s heart to flip. Now though, it just makes her heart shatter and burn her insides. Alex just looks at her stone faced, and Lena is looking concerned between the two of them, her hand still gripping Alex’s tightly.

****

“I was transferred here last week. I’ve got connections to the justice league, and they want me to work between the NCPD and Supergirl.” Maggie says, scuffing her boot along the ground. Alex laughs unhumourous, nearly maniacal, and shakes her head. She’s gripping Lena’s hand so tightly, Lena’s afraid she may be breaking something, but she doesn’t let go.

****

Alex shakes her head one more time, and turns around making a beeline in the opposite direction with Lena in tow. She can hear Maggie calling out to her, but doesn’t really care. Luckily, the yoga studio wasn’t far from Lena’s penthouse and the two of them make their way back there. Lena has already texted Jess to cancel her morning, and sent a text to Lucy letting her know Alex won’t be in.

****

Once in the safety of the penthouse Alex let’s Lena’s hand go, luckily unbroken, and starts to pace and mumble like a caged animal. Lena just watches her, unsure how to react or calm her down. Alex stops abruptly, almost making Lena startle and walks over to the liquor cabinet grabbing a whiskey bottle. While she’s busy trying to unscrew it, Lena takes the few paces over to her and pulls the bottle from her hands.

****

“Alex.” Alex just grabs another; Lena takes it from her.

****

“Alex come on.” And another, Lena gaining a good collection on the side table. Finally after the 4th time, Lena’s had enough, and grabs Alex’s face between her hands. 

****

“Alex.” She attempts to struggle out of her hold and grab one of the bottles in reach. “ALEX LOOK AT ME!” Lena has never raised her voice, and it startles Alex into looking at Lena’s bright green eyes full of concern. They aren’t filled with pity, but empathy.

****

“Take a deep breathe.” Lena says, lowering her voice now that she’s managed to gain Alex’s attention. Alex does as she’s told, taking a deep breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth.

****

“Another.” Alex breathes in through her nose, and as she breathes out chokes on a sob. The tears gather quickly in her eyes, and her knees give out beneath her. Lena follows her down, clutching onto her. Alex has buried herself in Lena’s chest sobbing, while she rocks her soothingly. 

****

They stay like that for a long time. Lena holding onto the most important person in her life as she falls apart, and there isn’t anything she can do to put her back together. She has half a mind of finding Maggie, or better yet let Kara find her. Speaking of, she can see Kara floating outside the window to the penthouse with a look of concern.

****

“Alex do you want me to call Kara?” Lena says softly through the tears still streaming down Alex’s face. A few have already made their way down Lena’s face. 

****

“N-n-no” Alex stutters out and grips onto Lena tighter, willing her not to leave, willing her not to let go. Lena looks back up to see Kara is gone, and refocuses her attention on Alex. By the time Alex’s sobs quiet down, Lena’s legs are completely numb. She starts to shift Alex in her arms, wishing she was strong enough to carry her. 

****

Alex slides off of her, a seated fetal position with her arms around her knees. Lena looks at her for a moment. Her brave warrior that has saved her life over and over. She crawls over and puts her arms around her, holding her up. Alex rests her head on Lena’s shoulder, staring at a crack in the floor.

****

“What do you need?” Lena asks softly, kissing Alex on the temple.

****

“I just need you to hold me.” Alex says barely above a whisper. Lena motions for her to get up, and they make their way to the couch. Lena lays down first, and pulls Alex down to lay on top of her. She curls up, tucking her head under Lena’s chin. They stay like that, in dead silence, for probably 20 minutes before Alex softly speaks.

****

“She was the reason I came out.” Lena continues to brush her fingers soothingly through Alex’s hair.

****

“She worked on my security team. None of the others respected her because of her size. That is until she took down a man nearly three times her weight. Then she was promoted. Worked as my personal security. And well.” Alex scoffs, “let’s just say there’s enough trashy romance tropes to know how that went.”

****

Lena just hums not wanting to interrupt, but making sure Alex knows she’s listening.

****

“I helped her achieve her dream of being a cop. I got her an apartment in Gotham once she made the force. And she helped me live my truest self. Helped me come to terms with who I was and what kind of difference I could make to people. People like us.”

****

Alex clenches her jaw, and they sit in silence for a bit longer.

****

“She met my family, and Kara introduced her to the Justice League. And that’s when she became friends with… Batwoman.”

****

Lena can feel how tense Alex has become, and wraps her arms tighter. 

****

“Then…sh...she…” Lena pulls her impossibly tighter, shushing her and kissing the top of her head.

****

“I know. You don’t have to go through it again if you don’t want to.” 

****

“All I want is you in my arms.” Alex sobs out softly, lifting her head up. Her eyes are puffy and her face is tear stained, and Lena doesn’t think she’s seen anyone more beautiful. She leaves a soft kiss on her lips.

****

“You have me, for as long as you want.”

****

***

****

**2 weeks later**

****

“So over there is the training rooms. Most of the new recruits like to spar there.” Vasquez says in a brusque but professional tone. She was assigned to take the new NCPD DEO coordinator around today, and she almost lost her composure when this striking woman in a leather jacket introduced herself as Maggie Sawyer. Her sense of duty and professionalism was the only thing stopping her from yelling or possibly hitting her. Unfortunately for Maggie, Supergirl has no such qualms.

****

They had just entered the command center, when Maggie is ripped off her feet and crushed into a wall. The hand around her throat is unyielding, but not quite cutting her windpipe off. She can see Kara’s face close to her own, practically snarling with her eyes glowing around the edges.

****

“Good to see you too, little Danvers.” Maggie chokes out. Her feet scrambling to find purchase on the wall. She can see agents attempting to pull Kara off, which is futile against the immovable girl of steel. Kara leans in closer, her eyes continuing to glow, and she growls at Maggie.

****

“You nearly destroyed her.” Kara smashes her back into the wall. Maggie just groans, feeling the concrete break behind her, and hoping her own bones aren’t breaking.

****

“You shattered her heart, and left her to self-destruct.” Kara squeezes a bit tighter, still not cutting of the air flow. Maggie is clawing at her hand, and it feels like she’s trying to break stone.

****

“Someone go get Danvers and Saturn Girl!” Vasquez yells from her spot attempting to pull Supergirl back with some other agents. The few agents who had been standing around quickly jump into action, running to go find them.

****

“It was all your fault!” Kara screams, punching the wall next to Maggies head. She coughs at the dust that comes flying off, and shakes her head.

****

“I know!” Maggie screams back, or screams as much as she can with Kara’s hand still around her throat. Kara didn’t expect that, and loosens her hold just a bit. 

****

“I know I destroyed her. That I shattered her into a million pieces. And as much as I wish I could take it back, I can’t.” Maggie is breathing hard, and Kara loosened her hold a bit more, her eyes still glowing in barely contained fury.

****

Before Kara gets the chance to respond, she’s flying backwards into the opposite wall. Her wrists pinned against it. Imra moves into her line of sight with a hand to her temple, and when she drops her hands, Kara’s do the same. Looking past her Kara can see Maggie being helped off the ground by some agents, and makes to stand up. Imra pushes her back down, and grips her face. She looks into her eyes, and touches her hand to the House of El crest. 

****

“I know you are in pain love.” Imra says softly. “I can feel it, and I understand. But you can’t hurt this human, that’s not who you are.” Imra strokes Kara’s face, and the tension leaves her body in one heartbreaking sigh. Imra helps her up and waves the agents off when they raise their guns. 

****

Just then Alex comes whipping around the corner, nearly colliding with some new agents. She looks between the busted concrete where Maggie is being ushered off to the med bay and back to where Imra is helping Kara off the ground.

****

“What the hell happened?” Alex says as soon as she’s in front of Kara. Looking around, she can see agents watching them, and motions for the two of them to follow her. As soon as the door is closed she rounds on Kara, pinning her with a stare and crossing her arms. She looks in her peripheral and sees Imra in the same position.

****

“Look.” Kara puts her hands up in surrender when both women across from her cross their arms. “I may have let my anger get the better of me.” Alex guffaws without an ounce of humour. “But in my defense, she deserved it.”

****

“Kara.” Alex pinches the bridge of her nose. “You’re Supergirl. You can’t just go around attacking humans. That’s not what you do.”

****

“But.” Kara says petulantly crossing her arms, and Alex just shakes her head.

****

“Don’t you get it. Don’t you think I don’t want to walk out there and deck her myself.” Alex throws her hands towards the door. “After everything she put me through, she has the nerve to come back here like it’s  nothing.” 

****

Alex is breathing hard and Kara can see tears forming in her eyes. 

****

“I’m barely holding it together as it is. I don’t need Supergirl accused of going rogue!” Alex yell crys, and Kara sweeps her up in her arms, holding her close.

****

“I’m sorry Alex.” Alex grips the back of her cape. “I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it. I promise.” Alex sniffles into her sister’s shoulder. After the last two weeks, she’s pretty much cried out. She gives Kara a barely there smile and sits down behind her desk. Kara looks at her softly, and reaches out to hold her hand, intertwining their fingers as she sits down.

****

“I was so worried about you Alex. When Lena called and told me what happened; that I could have lost you. I just love you so much.” Kara’s eyes have become watery, and she can feel Imra’s hand on her shoulder. Alex gives her a watery smile back.

****

“I’m ok Kara.” Alex wipes under her eyes. Apparently a few tears were left. Kara just raises an eyebrow, looking scarily like Lena in this moment, but doesn’t stop the tear from falling down her cheek.

****

“I am… Well I’m getting there I promise… with Lena’s help.” Kara fully smiles at that, and Alex smiles back.

****

“I’m so glad you’ve found each other. I know you’ll heal each other’s hearts in time.” Kara says squeezing her hand, and Alex squeezes back. “I know you have Lena, but I’m here for you too. And I’ve missed you. Sister night soon?” Alex nods her head

****

“Absolutely.” Alex says with a brighter smile. Kara leaves the office much calmer than she was before, and Imra gives Alex a nod of encouragement before following her girlfriend out. Alex watches them leave, opening up her chat with Lena.

****

Alex:  **She’s here.**

****

Lena:  **Are you doing okay? Do I need to come get you?**

****

Alex smiles softly at her phone.

****

Alex:  **I love you.**

****

Lena:  **I love you too. Do you need me? I can drop my last few meetings.**

****

Alex:  **No, I think I’ll go talk to Dr. Martin, but thank you.**

****

Lena:  **I think that’s a good idea love. I’ll pick you up after work, and bring you to mine for some greasy food and ice cream. <3**

****

Alex sends back a heart, and gets up from her desk. She takes a few breaths before putting on her Agent Badass face, and making her way to Dr. Martin’s office. She’s been seeing her since Maggie showed up and caused Alex to have a massive breakdown.

****

\-----

****

**_A few Nights After Seeing Maggie_ **

****

_ “Alex?” Lena closes the door behind her looking for her girlfriend. She hears a groan coming from behind the kitchen island, and rushes over to see Alex splayed out on the tile floor. Two empty bottles of what seems like cheap whiskey next to her, and broken glass on the floor. _

****

_ “Oh my god Alex!” Lena kneels down next to her, not caring about the glass that imbeds itself into her skin. She picks up Alex’s head, and sees that she’s unconscious. She leans closer and almost sobs in relief when she can feel her breathing.  _

****

_ “Alex!” Lena cries out, slapping her face attempting to wake her up. Alex just groans and keeps her eyes shut. Lena is nearly in tears and clutches Alex tightly. In a surge of strength and desperation, she picks up Alex and drags her to the bathroom. She sets the shower to cold, and drags both her and Alex under the cold spray. She doesn’t care if her designer clothes are getting ruined, she can’t lose the love of her life. _

****

_ “Alex come on!” Lena sobs. She can feel Alex moving a bit in her arms in reaction to the cold water cascading down upon them. She opens Alex’s mouth, and sticks her fingers down her throat. Alex gags and vomits up the contents of her stomach while Lena holds onto her; tilting her head so she doesn’t choke. It takes 10 more minutes under the freezing stream of water for Alex to start to come to. _

****

_ When Alex finally starts to wake up, she blinks through the cold water hitting her face to see Lena holding onto her tightly. Tears streaming down both of their faces, mixing with the water. Alex leans into her chest sobbing uncontrollably. Lena holds her even tighter, the tears streaming down her face, but she manages to hold in her sobs for the sake of her girlfriend. She reaches up to shut the water off, pushing Alex’s hair off of her face and stroking her cheek bone when Alex looks up at her. Alex crumbles again and hides in Lena’s chest, her head tucked under her chin. _

****

_ After Alex’s sobs taper off, Lena helps her out of the shower and dries them both off. She helps Alex wobble into bed and tucks her in when the women passes out once again. Lena sits with her, watching, making sure she’s ok. She stares at her for a long time, wondering what would have happened if she hadn’t come home soon enough. The thought makes the sobs finally bubble up. Lena clasps her hand over her own mouth, and attempts to muffle the sobs breaking out of her. She loves the woman next to her and can’t imagine life without her. Eventually Lena’s sobs taper off and she’s left watching Alex breathe and stroking her hair. It’s both to comfort Alex and to remind herself that she’s still alive beneath her.  _

****

_ At about 1 AM Alex stirs. Her eyes open up to see green orbs staring down at her with love and concern. Lena has a small sad smile on her face, and Alex can feel her fingers brushing through her hair.  _

****

_ “Welcome back.” Lena says softly, scratching at Alex’s scalp. _

****

_ “What happened?” Alex’s voice is raspy, “All I remember is being in cold water, and you holding me.” _

****

_ “Well,” Lena smiles down at her sadly, “I came home and found you passed out in a small pile of glass. Two empty bottles next to you.” _

****

_ Alex grimaces, the tears welling up in her eyes. _

****

_ “I’m so sorry.” Alex sobs out, clutching onto Lena tightly. Lena holds her and shushes her. _

****

_ “Darling, I’m here. You’re okay.” Lena says pulling Alex into her chest. She waits for Alex’s sobs to die down.  _

****

_ “Alex we need to talk about this at some point.” Alex nods into Lena’s chest, pulling back to see the look of concern mixed with love on Lena’s face. At closer inspection Alex can see her tear stained cheeks, and feels her heart sink at being the cause of Lena’s sorrow. _

****

_ “I’m so sorry I did this to you Lena.” Alex stutters out.  _

****

_ “No… no, Alex.” Lena shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry for not realizing sooner how badly this was affecting you.” Alex shakes her head.  _

****

_ “It’s not your fault Lena.” _

****

_ “But I should have been here, and I will be here for you. I will support you in any way I can.” Alex nods shakily, burrowing herself in Lena’s comforting embrace. _

****

_ “There’s just so much. And I don’t want to burden you. You deserve better than my problems.” Alex mumbles against Lena’s skin. _

****

_ “We are going to talk about deserving things later, but have… have you ever thought of talking to someone?” _

****

_ “Like a therapist?” Alex looks up, and Lena nods. “I...I don’t know.” _

****

_ “We don’t have to talk about this right now. I just want you to think about it.” Alex nods, snuggling back into Lena. “I’ve got you darling. I’ve got you.” _

****

\-----

****

She makes her way to Dr. Martin’s office, slipping past the infirmary as fast as she can. Unfortunately it’s not fast enough, and a voice calls out to her.

****

“Alex.” 

****

She turns around to see Maggie leaning against the door jam. She can see some bruising already starting around Maggie’s neck, and some cuts now that her jacket is off.

****

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Alex blurts out, attempting to ward off the feelings of panic and sorrow. Maggie just shakes her head.

****

“I don’t blame Kara. I would have done the same.” Maggie says with what Alex swears is regret in her voice. She shakes off the wistful thinking, and looks her up and down.

****

“Well it’s good you’re ok. The paperwork would have been a bitch.” Alex’s attempt at humour falls short, and she quickly turns away without another word.

****

“Alex.” Maggie calls, forcing Alex to turn back around. “Maybe we can… catch up sometime.”

****

“Maybe.” Alex can feel the feelings begin to overwhelm her and just barely stops herself from running away. Once she rounds the corner she runs and slams the door open to Dr. Martin’s office, making the smaller woman jump.

****

“Alex!” Dr. Martin nearly drops her notebook. She looks over Alex, taking in the stress in her eyes and the tremor in her hands. “Sit down. Tell me what happened.” She motions to the couch across from the chair she sits down in.

****

“I … I…” Alex swallows harshly. She closes her eyes for a few moments and takes a deep breath. “I saw Maggie again, here.”

****

“And how do you feel.”

****

Alex takes a shaky breath, her head shaking back and forth.

****

“Like I want to down 4 bottles of whatever I can get my hands on.”

****

***

****

Lena never asks Alex what she speaks about in her therapy appointments, minus how she feels about going. Instead, she takes her home and supplies her with ice cream and pizza, and this night was no different. She throws on a sitcom, grabs the brownie explosion ice cream out of the freezer, and pulls Alex down on the couch with her. 

****

“I wanted to... talk to you about something.” Alex says halfway through an episode of Friends. Lena pauses the show, turning all of her attention to the woman next to her. Lena can see Alex fidgeting, and reaches over to grasp one of her hands. 

****

“Alex, whatever it is I’m here ok.” Alex nods, and nods again. She’s starting to look like a bobble head before she speaks again.

****

“I… I was talking to Dr. Martin today.” She starts looking more sure of herself and Lena grips her hand tighter. “And we talked about how my first reaction when I see Maggie is to drink. It was how I coped all those years ago, and old habits die hard.” Alex nibbles at her bottom lip nervously. “And she suggested…and I agree... that … that maybe I work on being sober until I have a control over it and my emotions.”

****

Lena pulls Alex into a crushing hug. 

****

“I’m so proud of you.” Lena whispers into Alex’s ear with the utmost sincerity.

****

“You… you are?” Alex says in a small voice, searching Lena’s eyes when they part.

****

“Of course I am.” Lena strokes her cheek. “You are doing so great darling, and I am so proud of the progress you’ve made.” Lena swipes the lone tear that runs down Alex’s face. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

****

Alex nods and gives Lena a small smile. “I know I don’t have any right to ask….” 

****

“Whatever you need, darling.” Lena says with a supportive smile aimed at the woman across from her.

****

“I don’t trust… myself to be alone with the liquor, and I was wondering if we could…”

****

“I’ll get rid of it right away.”

****

“Lena, you don’t have to get rid of yours,” Alex waves her hands around with a frown. “I just meant the bottles still left in my place.” 

****

“I will put ALL of it somewhere safe, darling. I want you to feel comfortable here too, no matter what.” Lena says giving her a kiss against her cheek.

****

“I don’t deserve you.”

****

“You deserve more than me.” Alex shakes her head.

****

“You deserve the word Lena.” Lena bites her lip, glancing down to Alex’s lips for a moment. She leans in a breath away, pecking her lips sweetly.

****

“Well good, because you’re my entire world.”

****

It takes them about 4 hours to rid both Lena’s place and Alex’s place of alcohol that evening. Lena decides to give it to Kara to store in the fortress of solitude, along with the beer Kara keeps in her place. 

****

***

****

Alex had been feeling great about her decision, and was nine days sober so far. She knows it isn’t much, but Lena says everyday is a battle so everyday counts as an accomplishment. She’s even talked to Maggie a couple more times, and it didn’t send her into quite the same type of spiral. That is until Maggie mentions a few of the Gotham City crew followed her to National City. Alex manages to calmly leave the conversation, claiming work, and walk to her office where she immediately calls Lena. 

****

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes darling. Meet me outside.”

****

“Ok.” Alex says in the smallest voice Lena’s ever heard. Alex makes her way to the front of the building to wait. 

****

10 minutes goes by.

****

15 minutes goes by.

****

After 20 minutes goes by and two calls to voicemail, Alex is done waiting. She goes back inside the building, and hops on her Ducati, making a beeline for L-Corp. She’s sure Lena just got stopped by some investors, but she doesn’t wait to find out. 

****

If Alex thought she could beat an elevator up 27 floors she would have ran, instead she’s stuck waiting for it to make its way down. She wastes no time getting in when it arrives, and nearly punches the glass in frustration for how slow it’s going. 

****

When she steps out of the elevator, there is no Jess to greet her. Quickly rushing into Lena’s office, she feels like ice water has been thrown over her head, and she can’t help the gasp that she lets out at what lies beyond the door. Lena’s glass desk is shattered, her TV smashed along with most of the office, and Lena’s cell phone on the ground. Alex picks it up, looking at a picture of the two of them from their vacation. The notification light is blinking with Alex’s two missed calls. She looks up at the security cameras and swears when she sees they are also shattered. 

****

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” Alex is practically shaking, and nearly drowning in a panic attack. The only thing keeping her afloat is her training. She pulls out her phone to call this in when she sees it glinting in the sunlight. It’s dark color nearly blending into the background, but it’s edges shimmering. Alex gets closer to it, just as Vasquez picks up.

****

“Lena’s been taken from her office.” Alex says and hangs up, not waiting for a response. She digs the object out of the wall, and holds it in the palm of her hand. 

****

A batarang. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaat!? A batarang! And yes this angst has been planned the entire time.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena is lost, but will she be found?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone's continued support! It means the world! And thank you to whoever knocked me over 1000 Kudos that's awesome!
> 
> TW: Psychological torture, mild blood, angst.

“You son of a bitch!” Alex comes barreling into the DEO, the batarang gripped tightly in her hands. She doesn’t care that it’s cutting into her hand, the blood splashing on the floor. She runs right up to Maggie and decks her across the cheek bone. Maggie crumples against the ground, reaching up to her cheek in shock.

****

“What did you do!?” Alex screams, picking Maggie up by her shirt. She winds her arm back up, but before she can swing someone is grabbing her. A few of the agents have pulled back Maggie, who is now thrashing. Vasquez has Alex in a hold, her feet still kicking and screaming out.

****

“What the fuck Alex!” Maggie screams, thrashing against the agent’s holding her.

****

“It’s not a coincidence you and your Gotham gang show up and Lena, MY GIRLFRIEND, is the one to go missing!” Alex screams, and throws the batarang by Maggie’s feet. The two of them have stopped thrashing, but the agents are still holding them. 

****

“What are you talking about?!” They’ve let go of Maggie and she picks up the batarang with confusion as she looks it over. Alex pushes Vasquez off of herself, and gets in Maggie’s face. 

****

“I’m going to find her, and when I do I’m coming back for you!” Alex snarls into her face and storms off.

****

“Alex! Wait!” Maggie calls out following her before Vasquez steps in her path. She plucks the batarang from her fingers.

****

“Get out.” Maggie sighs deeply. “Now, before I throw you out.” Maggie just shakes her head, looking around and seeing most of the agent’s staring or glaring.

****

“You’re making a mistake.” Maggie warns before turning and making her way out of the building.

****

***

****

Lena wakes up on a wooden platform. She knows it’s wood, because she can hear it creak as she moves. She can’t see anything at first glance, the room seems to be pitch black and deadly silent. She pats down her body, but can’t seem to locate her phone.  _ Shit I must have dropped it. _ She starts to stand up, and nearly falls off what is apparently a very small wooden platform. She sits back down and starts to spread her arms around attempting to see how big the space is. She figures it's about the size of that door from titanic.  _ They totally could have fit two people. _

****

The silence is broken by the most bone-chilling laugh Lena thinks she’s ever heard. It’s not even a laugh it’s a maniacal cackle. The lights flicker and flash on, nearly blinding her. It takes a few seconds for her eyes to process, and even then she can’t quite believe what she’s seeing. Below her is what can only be described as an aerial acrobatics stand. Although in place of trapeze, is a narrow plank crossing what on second glance seems to be fire.  _ Just great.  _

****

Lena looks around her. The walls are solid concrete, and there seems to be only one way out. Unfortunately for her, it’s on the other side of the room. Lena can see a camera in the corner and a tv just below. She figures that is where the voice came from, since she doesn’t see anyone. She stands up, and checks herself for injuries, happy when she doesn’t find any. 

****

“Lena Luthor,” the tv crackles into life. “So good to see you.” A distorted voice says through the TV, where what can only be described as a shadow shows up on screen.

****

“What do you want!” Lena screams, frustrated. She was supposed to be with Alex, instead she’s now at the whim of the newest nutjob.

****

“I want to play.”

****

“I don’t see a fucking chess board!” Lena snarks, and shivers when the voice just cackles.

****

“You see everyone around you ends up burning for your crimes.” Lena looks down to the fire beneath her. “And you walk away. Let’s see if you can this time. The game is simple, walk across the bridge and try not to get burned.”

****

Lena gulps and feels a bit queasy at the idea of walking across a narrow bridge. She shakes herself off and tilts her chin up in defiance.

****

“And if I don’t.”

****

“Then finally burn for your crimes.” 

****

The fire behind her bursts to life, and she has to jump forward slightly in order to dodge it. The TV cuts out as the shadowed figure laughs. Lena looks back forward. The fire is coming up randomly like a fountain, spraying sparks everywhere when it does. The wall of fire behind her inches closer, and if she doesn’t move soon she risks getting burned or having the platform disintegrate.

****

She takes a step onto the plank just as a flame bursts up, and she twitches away. She frowns as she watches the fire dance, up and down, up and down, in seemingly random patterns. A few more seconds of watching and it all clicks. 

****

“It isn’t random, there’s a pattern.” Lena says narrowing her eyes, and looking closer. She tracks the fire before her with her eyes, not paying attention to the one inching closer behind her. After a minute of tracking it, she steps out and pauses. A flame bursts in front of her. She gulps and waits for it to die down, then she moves forward three paces. A couple flames burst behind and in front of her. She swears her hair may be a bit singed, but better that than being aflame. She shifts somewhat, nearly falling off the side, but she manages to regain her balance.

****

“Fuck.” Lena practically flops on the other platform when she reaches it. She can hear the voice laughing at her, and flips them off. A clanging sound and the door opens before her. The fire has started to fill the entire room and she picks herself off the ground, running through the door straight into a wall. She groans and rubs her head, hoping there’s not a bump growing under her fingers.

****

***

****

“Where the hell is she!” Alex is screaming at agents in the central command center. They have been looking for Lena for two hours at this point, and they haven’t found a single trace. Not a security camera, not a heat signature. It’s like the woman has vanished off the face of the earth. Alex is practically frantic and maniacal at this point, and she looks over to see Kara swoop back in empty handed.

****

“I’m sorry Alex.” Kara says sweeping her sister into a bone crushing hug. She pulls her in, not letting herself be pushed away, and she flys Alex to a secluded area. Kara continues to hold her tight, Alex pushing and thrashing in her arms. Kara is sure not to hurt her, but she doesn’t loosen her grip. Instead she lets Alex run herself down.

****

Eventually Alex just slumps into Kara’s arms with a heart wrenching sob. Kara holds onto big sister as she crumbles in her arms, and doesn’t bother to wipe her own tears away. She just lets them mix together in sorrow as they water the ground below them. 

****

“W-we… nee-need to f-find her.” Alex sobs into her sister’s shoulder. “Wh-what if-f she’s hu-urt.” 

****

“We will find her Alex. I promise.” Kara says softly into her hair.

****

“H-how do y-you know.” Kara gives her one more squeeze and pulls back. She wipes the tears from Alex’s face as she sniffles, and gives her a watery smile.

****

“Because neither you or Lena would let Rao himself tear you apart.”

****

\-----

****

**_Lena’s Beach House_ **

**_A Few Weekends Back_ **

****

_ “You don’t talk about Lex.” Alex is laying on the ridiculously comfortable outdoor bed, Lena’s head on her chest. Her fingers have been stroking through the dark silky tresses.  _

****

_ “No. I don’t” Alex can see the slight crinkle in her eyebrow, and the far away look in her eyes. It’s as if she’s physically looking for the memory of who her brother used to be. Maybe even who she used to be. _

****

_ “He was the only one who cared about me.” Lena says quietly. Alex is still stroking her fingers through her hair. “He knew I was gay.” She says the last word with more confidence than she has ever said before, and Alex is extremely proud even if she doesn’t say it. She doesn’t want to embarrass the woman, but even more she doesn’t want to interrupt this honest moment. _

****

_ “I know he knew, and he supported me in his own way.” Lena laughs lightly, “He gave me your guitar for one thing. And he sent me rainbow flowers every pride. He didn’t sign the card, but I knew it was from him.” _

****

_ “He sounds wonderful.” Alex says softly, not wanting to break the moment, but wanting Lena to know she was listening. _

****

_ “He was.” Lena doesn’t need to continue and say what happened. Everyone knows, Alex especially. _

****

_ “You know Kara was just as supportive of me.” Alex says helping to alleviate the tension surrounding them, for which Lena is eternally grateful. _

****

_ “Let me guess, the bundle of sunshine burst into a rainbow when you told her” Lena laughs and can feel Alex’s laughter under her chest. _

****

_ “Sort of. She came out the same time I did, only as Pan. She held my hand when I went to tell my mom, and I’m not sure I could have done that without her. I was shaking so bad, and gripping her hand so tightly I thought I was going to break my own hand.” _

****

_ “She’s amazing.” Lena says softly with a small laugh, and feels more than hears Alex’s hum in reply. _

****

_ “And my mom. She was amazing and so supportive of me. I thought she was going to be pissed. Just one more way I wasn’t perfect, but she just cried and told me she loved me.” Lena can hear the affection in her voice, and wishes so badly that she had gotten that from her own mother. _

****

_ “I’m letting you know right now, once my mom get’s wind of this she won’t stop until we are torn apart.” Lena says with bitterness in her tone, and Alex clings to her tighter. _

****

_ “Not even Rao himself could keep me from you.” _

****

_ \----- _

****

Alex’s head snaps up as the memory washes over her. Kara looks concerned but focuses on Alex intently.

****

“Lillian.”

****

***

****

The lights flicker on as the door slams behind Lena. She opens her eyes to see nothing but brick before her. The wall crusted and thick with dust and dirt. She looks over to the left to find another wall, and to the right is a small hallway. She moves slowly down the dark hallway, and turns to find another long hallway. The voice crackles to life again.

****

“You managed to escape the fires once again.”

****

“Fuck you!” Lena screams, swiveling around attempting to pinpoint the voice. It seems to be echoing and it’s making it hard to sense where it is coming from. It laughs at her.

****

“You’ve always outrun your problems Lena. You ran from Metropolis to National City. Leaving behind the victims and carnage of your crimes.”

****

“My families crimes! Not my own!” Lena screams frustrated, and the lights flicker on brightly, near blinding. She puts her hands up to shield her eyes and falls when the floor beneath her starts to move.

****

“Can you outrun your problems again?”

****

Lena looks behind her and her eyes widen at the wall and floor covered with sharp pieces of metal. She gets up quickly and runs to where she had been before. 

****

“Just like life, the longer you wait the harder it will be to run.”

****

The floor starts to speed up just slightly, and Lena whips her heels off. She’s never been much of a runner, but when it’s life or death. She jumps on the moving floor once again, misjudging her landing and falling hard once again. She smacked her knee but there isn’t any time to worry about that. She hobbles up to her feet as the floor moves faster and faster. She’s just below a sprint and above a jog when the voice comes back, laughing and taunting. 

****

“Fuck you!” Lena is out of breath, but she just keeps pushing herself faster and faster. She can see a divot in the wall and hopes that it’s her exit. It’s still ten feet in front of her, and she stumbles once again. Her knee having given out, but she manages to not completely fall. She runs and pushes herself, thinking of Alex’s smiling face. 

****

Twelve feet in front of her. She can feel the floor speed up once again, and the tears streaming down her face. She’s pretty sure she has ripped her skirt at this point if not a muscle, but who cares. She runs faster, her feet smacking harshly against the convyer belt of a floor. Five feet now, and she can almost grab it. The floor speeds up, and so does Lena. She can see her. She can almost feel her now. Lena half wonders if she’s going into shock, but she grabs onto the edge of the wall and flings herself into unmoving ground.

****

She hears a shatter before she feels any pain. The adrenaline pumping through her makes her unable to feel anything but the harsh breathes she pulls in. The lights flash on again. She can tell even with her eyes closed. She just lays there attempting to catch her breath as she hears the voice laughing. When she opens her eyes she sees blood dripping from her arm and a piece of glass sticking out of it. A mirror. She sees her own green yes blinking back at her through the shard covered in blood. Looking around she sees an entire room filled with mirrors. A mirror maze.  _ What the hell. _

****

***

****

“Has anyone checked on cadmus or Lillian Luthor?!” Alex shouts when her and Kara rush back into the control center. Alex has cleaned her face, and all that remains of her tears are the ones soaked into Kara’s suit.

****

“Why would Lillian kidnap her own daughter?” Lucy asks with her hands on her hips. She had gotten there about 30 minutes into the shitshow, when Imra called her. Vazquez is already typing away to find out everything she can about Lillian and Cadmus’s current whereabouts. 

****

“Lena once said if her mother ever found out about us, she wouldn’t stop until we were torn apart.” Alex says gritting her teeth and clenching her fist. It seems to be out of anger, but it’s more than likely out of fear. Fear for Lena. Fear for their bright future together. Fear that they might not have one.

****

“Lillian Luthor is still in prison Ma’am.” Vasquez pipes up from her computer, where the paperwork lists one Lillian Luthor as being a model prisoner.  _ That can’t be right. _

****

“I want to see her for myself.”

****

“Alex, we can just send another agent.” Lucy tries to stop the woman, and is brushed off.

****

“No! I need to see her with eyes I can trust. That means my own.”

****

“I’m coming with you.” Kara says, and Imra grabs onto her arm.

****

“No love, I’ll go with her.” She pulls her girlfriend to her, leaving a light kiss on her cheek. “You stay here and keep searching for Lena.” Kara looks hesitant, but relents placing a kiss on her girlfriends shoulder and hugging Alex tightly.

****

***

****

“Agent Danvers….” Lillian smirks from her seat. “Always a pleasure.” Alex grabs onto the front of her shirt, hauling the older woman over and onto the table. To Lillian’s credit she doesn’t even bat an eyelash at the aggressive move. 

****

“Where is Lena!” Alex screams into Lillian’s face, practically spitting all over it. Lillian calmly wipes away the spit that landed on her cheek, and raises an eyebrow at her. 

****

“I don’t know what you mean Agent.” Alex growls and pulls Lillian up, slamming her against the wall. Imra is just off to the side, knowing better than to get in Alex’s way, but there to make sure she doesn’t do something she might regret.

****

“You’re upset that we’re together, and you are trying to drive us apart! Now where is she!” Lillian doesn’t say a word, but her eyes narrow appraisingly. She takes in the Agents stance: one arm across her chest, the other threateningly near her head. She has fire in her hazel eyes, and makes Lillian smile.

****

“You may not believe me Agent, but I do love my daughter.” Alex bares her teeth, and smashes her fist next to Lillian’s head, who doesn’t even flinch.

****

“Where is she!” Alex is trying her hardest to keep the anger flowing, but it’s giving away to sadness far too quickly.

****

“I don’t have her.” Lillian says in a serious tone, just an undercurrent of regret. Like she wishes she did have her. That maybe her maternal instincts aren’t complete trash.

****

“Fuck!” Alex screams and let’s Lillian go. She stomps away and stands next to Imra, waiting for them to open the door. Lillian is rubbing at her neck.

****

“Agent.” she calls out in a haughty tone, but when Alex looks back she’s startled by what she sees; care and sadness fill her face for but a moment. “I only have one child left. Find her.”

****

***   


Lena pulls the piece of glass out of her arm. Luckily that seems to be the only serious piece. She rips part of her ruined skirt and ties it around the wound. Looking around, she is almost completely surrounded by mirrors. They are so clean she can’t tell what’s a wall and what’s a walkway. It’s completely opposite to how she has spent her time here thus far.

****

She takes in her worn down body in the mirror in front of her: her hair is matted with sweat against her neck, her clothes are dirty and torn, but her eyes are alive and filled with green fire. She will make it out to see Alex again.

****

“Look at yourself.” The voice crackles to life once again. “Your outside is becoming an image of who you are on the inside. Filthy, disgusting, broken.” Lena barely suppresses the urge to punch at the nearest mirror.

****

“You don’t know who I am!” Lena feels like she’s screaming at herself. The only thing she sees, her own reflection.

****

“Oh but I do. Your darkness is reflected here, and is reflected in those you love.” An image springs to life beside her reflection, Lex. Lena whips around to see just herself. He is not standing beside her smiling. She looks back at her reflection and looks next to her. She can see the laugh lines on his face, and she reaches towards the mirror to touch them. 

****

As soon as her fingers touch the glass his image morphs. No longer is he the smiling brother she knew, but the man with chaos in his eyes. Her brother’s laugh rings out, and it makes a sob choke out of Lena, who shuts her eyes. 

****

“Lena.” It’s her brothers voice. “You did this to me.” She looks up through her tears to see a young man standing there with blood on his hands. “You did this.” She sobs and shakes her head. She starts to run away from the image, bumping and smacking into the mirrors. She can hear her brother’s laugh echoing down the hall until she turns a corner.

****

She sits down and tries to regain her senses. 

****

“It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.” She tells herself over and over again. 

****

“Am I real?” She looks up to see Ruby’s smiling face turn sour. “Will I be just like you when I’m older? Will I be cold hearted?” Ruby’s voice has laughter in it, like she was talking about nothing, but her face looks pained. It makes Lena shake her head and stand up. She starts to move faster through the maze, smashing a few mirrors as she goes. Unfortunately, she never finds anything but brick behind it, and she punches it a few times in frustration. Cradling her now bloody hand.

****

“I bet you wished you had powers like me.” A cold shiver runs down Lena’s spine as she turns around to look at Kara’s serious face behind her. A sneer crosses the blonde’s face as she looks Lena up and down. “What would you do with powers Lena? Save people?” Kara’s voice mocks, “No. You would use it for yourself. Like you’ve done everything for yourself.” Lena can’t even recognize the woman in front of her, but she sobs out anyways. 

****

Turning away from her she feels blessed to make it five minutes without another one of those ‘things’ popping up. She stops and wipes the tears from her face, and looks at the blood seeping from her wounds. She can practically hear her mother now.

****

\-----

****

**_The Luthor Mansion_ **

**_2000_ **

****

_ “What do you want Lena?” Lillian’s voice was cold and devoid of any sympathy. Her ‘daughter’ just showed up in her office unannounced, tears streaming down her face. _

****

_ “I-I-I…” Lena stutters out, her lower lip wobbling. _

****

_ “Speak clearly. Luthors don’t stutter.”  _

****

_ “I slipped and cut myself, and it really hurts.” Lena lifts up her arm and there’s blood dripping from it onto the ground below her. Lillian snears at the blood that falls, and roughly grabs Lena’s arm. She slaps a bandaid on it, and practically pushes her out the door without another thought. _

****

_ “Lena.” Lillian calls back. Lena still has tears streaming down her small six year old face, but she looks back at her mom. “Luthors don’t cry. Don’t let me see you crying ever again.” _

****

_ Lillian never saw her cry again, but Lena’s pillow sure did. _

****

_ \----- _

****

“Lena?!” Lena whips her head in the direction of that voice. Alex. That’s Alex’s voice. She moves towards it, and can see Alex standing at the end of one hall, her face smiling.

****

“Alex!” Lena screams and moves towards the other woman at a fast clip. 

****

“Yes, baby. I’m here.”  _ Why is she just standing there?  _ Alex continues to smile and spread her arms as if the grasp her and hold her. But all Lena feels once she reaches her is hard glass. A sob bursts forth from her chest and she takes in heaving breaths trying to settle down. 

****

“Lena why did you leave me? Everyone leaves me? Why did you leave me?” Alex sounds so sad, and Lena can’t even look at her. She pushes around the corner and continues through the maze. Every time a person shows up she smashes the glass before they can speak. Sam, Lucy, Vasquez, Imra, even Lillian. She smashes and keeps moving. 

****

Once Maggie’s image shows up with a frown on her face she nearly loses it. 

****

“You’re not fucking real! Leave me alone!” She swings but doesn’t connect, instead her fist is caught. She looks up to see dark eyes looking down at her.

****

“Maggie?”

****

***

****

It’s going on hour seven now, and Alex has nearly pulled her own hair out on multiple occasions. The sky has been dark for a little while now, and with it everyone’s hope for finding her tonight. 

****

“What about the Gotham gang?!” Alex screams out, and some of the new recruits who had been dozing jump up.

****

“We can’t find them.” Lucy says staring at a screen typing some things in. “Honestly we can’t find any trace that they are even here in National City.”

****

“Yeah well we can’t find any trace of Lena in National City either!” 

****

“Alex you need to calm down.” Lucy says looking up with her arms crossed. “Everyone here is doing everything they can, but you coming around and screaming isn’t going to help.” Alex looks like she’s going to argue before Lucy continues, “Go cool off. Now.” 

****

Alex slams the door as she leaves and heads to the sparring room. She starts swinging at a bag, not bothering to wrap her hands up. She just keeps thinking about the last time she saw Lena. Held Lena. Kissed Lena.

****

\-----

****

**_That Morning_ **

****

_ “You know if you don’t let me go, I’ll be late to work.” Lena and Alex are in their bed, wrapped up in each other naked. Alex has Lena’s body tucked under her own, and she kisses her protest away. _

****

_ “Call in sick.” Alex can feel Lena chuckle into her lips, and she pulls back to look at the woman above her. The beautiful bow of her lips, the dark hazel eyes, and the auburn hair that frames her face so perfectly. But it’s not all of those features, as great as they are, that make Lena love her. It’s who Alex is. It’s her caring selfless nature, that brings Lena in. And it’s her adorkableness that has her coming back.  _

****

_ “Move in with me?” Lena says so softly she isn’t sure Alex heard her, but Alex gets a huge megawatt smile on her face. She heard her just fine, and pulls Lena in for a bruising kiss. _

****

_ “Yes! Absolutely Yes!” Alex is peppering her face with kisses, making Lena giggle out in childlike glee. Eventually Alex finds her mouth again, and pulls her in with a moan. _

****

_ “I love you Lena.” _

****

_ “I love you too Alex. Even if you are going to make me late.” Lena smirks and flips them over, Alex now beneath her breathless. _

****

_ \----- _

****

Alex can hear someone come in and would bet all of her money on that person being Lucy. Yep. Lucy comes into her eye line, and around to stand and hold the bag. She doesn’t say anything, just lets Alex punch and punch and punch away.

****

“We were supposed to move in together.” Alex jabs in quick succession. “She asked me this morning.” Tap and cross. “I was so happy.” body shot, body shot. “For a few moments, I was so unbelievably happy.” Jab, Jab, Hit. “And now it’s all gone!” Alex screams out one final hit before dropping to her knees. Lucy stops the bag before meeting her down there.

****

“It isn’t gone.” Alex shakes her head, tears streaming down her face. “We will find her. You two will move in together. You’ll throw an epic party, and Sam and I will have sex on every surface of your new place.” Lucy laughs and gets a choked wet laugh out of Alex. “Those are the things I can promise you.” Alex looks up with a small smile.

****

“Does it have to be every surface?” 

****

“Yes. That’s how you christen a house.” Alex groans, but let’s a laughing Lucy haul her up. The two of them have made their way back to the control center when Alex’s phone goes off. She doesn’t recognize the number, but answers anyway.

****

“Danvers.”

****

“Alex?”

****

“Maggie?”

****

“I found Lena.”

****

***

****

By the time Alex and the rest of the DEO make it, Kara has already chased the bad guy half way across the city. Turns out he was from Gotham, but his whole family died in Metropolis. He blamed the Luthors for everything, and had spent years with the Joker concocting the perfect psychological torture. That included framing her new girlfriend’s ex. What he didn’t count on was Maggie actually caring and spending the time to find her.

****

“Lena!” Alex yells as soon as her feet touch the ground. She looks over and sees Maggie carrying her bridal style. Lena clutching onto the woman tightly, her knuckles nearly white. Alex rushes over and grabs onto Lena, crying into her and telling the woman that she was here and that she loved her. 

****

“Alex?” Lena’s voice is hoarse, and she hasn’t let go of Maggie yet. The woman is the only thing bringing her to reality right now. 

****

“Yes baby, I’m here. It’s me.” Lena starts to shake and grips onto Maggie tighter. Alex looks so confused, and it breaks Maggie’s heart. 

****

“They made her see some things.” Maggie whispers to Alex, “I think she’s having trouble telling what’s real right now.” Alex nods and holds Lena’s face in her hands.

****

“Lena, baby. You can feel me.” She rubs her thumbs along her cheekbone. “I’m real. You can feel me.” Alex leans down and kisses Lena’s lips. Maggie feels awkward, but Lena still has an iron grip on her, so she can’t leave and give them space.

****

“Alex?” Lena’s eyes seem to become more clear as Alex’s lips leave hers. Alex nods with a half sob half laugh. “Alex you came for me.” Lena starts to sob and grabs onto her. Maggie helps maneuver her onto the ground and into Alex’s arms. Lena sobs into Alex’s neck, and Alex rocks her back and forth. She looks up to see Maggie standing near them, and mouths a thank you with tears in her yes. Maggie just nods back, and goes to help secure the scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?? I almost stopped it at Lena saying Maggie, but I wanted to give you guys something happy to end the chapter with. This was always in the plan, just fyi.
> 
> This was based on an episode of Smallville, which was based on Saw, so credit to them!

**Author's Note:**

> BTW if anyone wants my tumblr is ltoliviabenson Hit me up with questions or prompts or random shit


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